Embarassing boner stories

noice.jpg.
it took 30 minutes for my boner to calm down.

to this day, i don't think i ever wanted to fuck a bitch more then her.

pic is what it looked like

...

There was also a sloppy bimbo girl of about 19 who had something like G-cup tits who constantly paraded around the hotel pool every day giving every guy within 5 miles a boner and doubtless pissing off innumerable wives and gfs. I know *I* was jerking off to her every night at least.

The embarrassment from this was primarily derived from the fact that I was one chair from my mother at the time and she saw the whole show too.

...

Moar pics like this

trying my duder

Please asian

love big nipples

why did i get a boner reading this

...

I had insensitivity issues or a lack of libido growing up, so I almost never got a boner. Fuck my life.

My dick is so small you wouldn't be able to tell I was hard through clothing. So I don't have any embarrassing stories,

Other than the fact that my dick is tiny.

I'm a grower, so my dick is very tiny when it's soft but grows 2-3 times it's size when erect. It's even worse when I get into a pool with cold water, because my dick turtlenecks and shrinks down to 2-1 inches.

Ha ha *points and laughs* etc. You did ask for it.

Dick size is largely immaterial when you consider what trash women behave like anyway, mine is a bit above average but I can't see myself sticking it in anyone anyway cos I see nothing but varying degrees of stunted, horribly bitter, selfish, spiteful reactionary arch-materialists with persecution complexes who treat people like shit and never once cop to their flaws. Society is as much to blame as anything, it encourages them to be bratty kids until they're fugged into motherhood. The world is a mess in innumerable ways.


Wear shorts in pools fgt

me too

why japan
why

why japan
why

...

...

Hows this

nice
more
pls

...

damn these tiddies gettin mashed

free the beebs

Haha I had these done

Whoa dude, that's pretty damn good.
On mine I tried to reveal more of the pussy.

not enough contours huh?

Would suck those off-center pokies /10

...

board nuked

I tried.


The reason I didn't have this done is because of that damn shadow and the material is a pain.

I think it's the material, very cute and she has such a fucking banging body too.

...

Today I went to the store and saw some college freshies in tight clothing and I hardly even looked at them and didn't get a boner at all, not even a twitch, hah
Cool story, right?

I saw a lg bending over a shopping caught so I did have to make a double take, there, however. Hahahaha cool story huh Holla Forumsros?

...

That one is proving to be weird due to what I presume to be trapped air in the costume, also pic is very bright and material is thick

...

good try xrayanon

The more you idolize pictures of pixelated cunts online the less masculine and alpha you will be in person. G'DAY, MATE!

...

No interest in anyone IRL, all too much hassle and expense and psychic damage to contemplate.

Nice. haven't seen that one before.

oh you're going to love the inevitable existential crisis when it hits

Something tells me that you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about when it comes to masculinity. Could you be a woman perhaps?

Ah past that one lad, I'm a full 5th dan wizard, oh the delicious horrors I've seen.

teach me your secrets oh great and mighty poo

I took a new approach. I attempted to fill in the lines with the pixels from her skin, thus "increasing" the information and making it easier to see what lies behind it. Then I increased the changing light values while blocking out the noise.

are you CSI?

It increases the drag and negatively impacts your speed. Also if they are too loose the water can pull them down when you swim.

Staring at pixelated cunts on the computer screen gives you beta eyes and a weird expression irl.

correlation =/= causation, you quadruple nigger

Maybe.
I did this with a simple image editor, and you can too. You just have to know how image perception works, and you can make anything that's hard to see way more visible.
Certain colors reveal different features, so it's important to select the region of interest for different colors. This reveals all the details possible. The resulting image has a weird color, but I can adjust it back until the xrayed part matches the skin tone, thus looking as if they didn't have it on in the first place while keeping all the features visible.

Here I attempt to recover a blue square hidden by stripes. No paint bucket was used.

Adapt, fags who don't end up petulant misfit (tumblr) assholes all their days
Don't fall in love
Get fit, it kills fear
Always have ice
Avoid spending money on frivolous shit unless it's required fun
Don't pander to your weaknesses or you'll end up a crying ball of addicted fat
Get fucking decent shoes/trainers/sneakers whatever, bad ones will fuck up your days
Throw out every piece of clothing with a character, game or comic thing on it by age 27.
Shave everything hairy down to a #2 every 6 months at least

Semen is brain poison which even when well drained can/will dupe you, intelligent as you may be, into believing some retarded dick puppet is worthy of your affections. So much so that you'd get all pissy about me calling her a dick puppet and then 3 seconds later she'd cuck you with a mudslime nig and lol that you loved her because even women realise that they're naught but trash-holes.

...

Letting a boner die. You are a murderer OP.

You're just a faggot, as indicated by your unnecessary tripcode.

wow lewwwwwwwwwd hahahhaha


you guuys are fun omg i love it


hahahhahah

luv Holla Forums xxoxoxo

filter all tripfags, except moderators