Hey guys, so I just wanted to let you know that I met Richard Stallman while at Katz Deli, figured I'd get a sandwitch since I haven't had one inb a while and beyond any of my expectations a man that looked like Richard Stallman was there. I took a photo to confirm and asked a few friends what they thought, and they also thought it was Richard Stallman. So I went over there and introduced myself, and asked if I could have a picture with him.
The next bit is a bit of a shock. Richard Stallman felt me up and asked me "Hello Kiddo, would you like me to show you what Google does to you on a daily basis?". At first I thought he was making a Joke, so I asked him "That depends do you like to give it or take it?". Then all of a sudden Richard Stallman stands up and gets into a Captain Morgan Pose while rubbing his nipples. "Well we ARE in a deli, and I'm the man that's packing the meat."
I try calming him down by asking him what we can do to avoid the botnet. "Son, I know you like my body, I see you looking at it and taking pictures of it. You think I'm blind?" All of a sudden I panic and scream "YAMATE" as loud as I can, suddenly security finally notices and tells Stallman to back off or else they kick him out, then everyone including the security starts laughing at me. Stallman even called me a "a pathetic fucking weaboo" I ran out of the deli crying and took the train home and tried to get far away from Katz Deli as possible.
I still plan on going to Katz Deli in the future, however in the future when you see Richard Stallman, make sure to avoid eye contact or any of the sort. He is an evil man who will take your ass and fuck it, anyway here's a picture so you know I'm not bullshitting since the story itself is crazy as fuck.
only a Holla Forums faggot could out sperg stallman
Carter Collins
not gonna take the bait, ive seen this shitty copypasta before
Michael Richardson
Fuck you, it's not a pasta. This actually happened. Show me where else you can find the image of Richard Stallman.
Juan Harris
Pretty sure a blurry picture doesn't prove what you said. I bet you actually went into the bathroom with him and took it in the ass like the lying faggot you are.
Sebastian Richardson
...
Jose Adams
I'm not lying, please be careful when approaching Stallman. He's insane.
Yes
Juan Gonzalez
Also I'm not gay
Dylan Kelly
...
Julian Scott
That doesn't look like a (recent) picture of Richard Stallman. He has a lot of gray hair now. The story is entirely plausible, of course.
Parker Gomez
I have a shit camera, but there was no doubt it was him.
Why would anybody pay attention to these cucks who are against free software and Stallman's goals?
Adrian Collins
if a crime has taken place you had better alert local authorities
Austin Myers
I'm just mad OP didn't take up the offer. I want Richey to fuck me like Microsoft fucked Holla Forums.
Aaron Murphy
Can someone oekaki this scene for me? I had a hard time imagining it.
Elijah Bennett
Richard Stallman isn't gay. He's so autistic that he makes a point of it at airports to ask for female staff specifically because he thinks it would be gay otherwise. Think about that, and reflect on the error of your ways. I've emailed RMS about this and him and his katana are on their way. Farewell, kiddo.
John Fisher
I saw Richard Stallman at a grocery store in Boston yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
Gavin Price
What the fuck did GNU just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the MIT, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Microsoft, and I have over 300 software cracks. I am trained in free software creation and I’m the top hacker in the entire FSF. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on non-free Earth, mark my fucking words. GNU think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of GNU/Hackers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, non-free software user. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your freedom. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hack you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed freedom, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Free Software Foundation and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only GNU could have known what unholy retribution your little non-free software comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Andrew Brooks
Bullshit. I still believe you though
Logan Gonzalez
slow claps steps out of emacs text mode Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your license, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty free... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of legal material... But free software isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Freetard? To join those esteemed GNU/ranks? To call yourself a member of the Free Software Foundation? Free software takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class freetards - I mean the big guys, like Banlu Kemiyatorn and Eben Moglen - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight freedom-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big free license. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new license fails. Someone dismisses it as autistic, or says it's "not compatible," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost BSD-clone dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate freetards over at the OSI. The Freedom Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you're rapidly losing in the face of unethical corporate practices :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan license you craft in your fully free text editor, some cocksucker at MIT has a permissive cuck license or some shit that a million different Eric No-Names will attach a milion different projects to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the mailing lists...
