Tfw no female internet friend

you guys are just as bad for being so negative about this pic

when was the last time you got a hug?

Also I am disappointed. I thought some female user would show itself and I had to prove that I was OP, because everyone wants to become her friend too. But nothing. Sad!

I'll be your friend if you pay for my drugs, OP

Exactly. Have fun talking to airheads op.

way to perpetuate that stereotype user

Internetfriend not Patreon!

triple dubs demand I confess; I am a whore

my offer still stands OP

I've been looking for a girl like this for years. I have an insane oedipal complex that makes me want to get back at my mom for being a meth addict and ruining my life by doing coke and paying whores to do drugs with me.

Haven't found any yet.

I'm here, so…

i can buy u aspirin

If you're serious and that's actually you, maybe. I'm not good at talking to women any more, though. My bitterness and depression has increased dramatically in the last year considering an increase in failure. I have a job, though, and live in a decent apartment by myself.

From my gf (i have no friends)

Just talk to me like I'm a guy then. I hate it when people judge me for being a girl :/

It's not whether or not I treat you like a girl or a man, it's the sexual attraction. I can't talk to women because I'm a desperate lonely pervert who's fucked only a small amount of women and I want to fuck more. I'm an awkward recluse so I can't find women and I'm very selfish and have a really hard time showing value in the women I'm talking to, instead, de-valuing them and only talking about myself. I do this with male friends as well, but that's less looked down upon because they're not under the notion that I'm trying to fuck or charm them.

What kind of drugs do you?

i tried to talk to a girl like to a man once. I asked her, if she saw a video i linked her to. She didnt even bother. So i didnt talk to her about the content, like i wouldve with a guy

are you fucking stupid, user?

I guess that's what happens, when you mom does meth during pregnancy.

what's it like having a gf? be detailed

talk about how you touch her

That's okay. I'm a total slut anyways. I like Heroin and I speedballed for the first time last year but cocaine is expensive. How does this pic make you feel?

Yes. I am quite stupid. I was raised in drug addict dens for most of my entire life, dropped out of school, and spent most of that time on Holla Forums. I now work at a job that will go nowhere and the only reason I have this job is because no one else wants to do a boring night shift where you can shitpost online for multiple hours.

That picture makes me feel turned on and angry. I love women and I hate them at the same time because of the amount of rejection I've had to face. I have no interest in heroin but cocaine is great and the most pure and honest moment of happiness I have ever had was when I was incredibly high on coke, high up on a hill, watching the sun set as Mirrorball by Elbow played in the background. It's my favorite song. It's beautiful and romantic and I loved it for years.

It's also the song I was listening to when the sheriff told me my grandmother died in a car accident on the way to work. That song means more to me then most things in life.

Didn't mean to make you angry. Don't you have any prospects in life whatsoever, user? Tell me something positive about yourself. Are you at least a little bit handsome? Post your face or part of it if you don't want to go all the way.''

No dickpics or else this conversation is over

Do you want to be my stoner friend? I always wanted to have one. Do you have a stoner type personality, you don't need to actually take drugs.

I have too much anxiety to have prospects. Thinking about the future makes my mind wrap up into balls of panic that stops any forward momentum. I'm not handsome. I feel like I have the genetics to look okay if I wasn't a total fat shit. I'd post a pic but honestly I've been all over the internet and I'm scared that I'm somewhat recognizable.

If you're serious about this kind of relationship, I'll provide a temp email. We can hookup on some other chat service and I'll talk to you from time to time, but only if I'm willing to pay you so you can feed your addiction if that's how you'd prefer it. I might even send a pic if you confirm its actually you.

I'm more of an alcoholic. Great irony in my life is that despite the fact that I was raised around hard drugs, sold meth, and am a general drug addict, my father and I are both allergic to marijuana. I don't think I have a stoner type personality.

I'm just fucking around dude. I'm not Eliza.

Never EVER pay anyone online, bro. I say this because I love you, no homo. Sorry for leading you on, I thought my LARPing was blatantly obvious. I hope I didn't break your heart :$

It's not a thing I've ever done. I think you can notice I'm fairly desperate at this point in my life, something I never really was in my past, so its been kind of a hard thing for me to cope with and realize to be entirely honest. I just thought it would be a fun dynamic for me to pay someone for affection. If I could see them do drugs and talk with me while they get high, that'd be great too.
No heartbreak. I half expected it, which is why I took measures to protect myself.

By the way, you're exactly the type of personality that the real Eliza/Ciara would take advantage of. There are plenty of real people who are just as lonely as you are on the internet. Never involve money, my man. You'll just feel empty inside after you realise that the platonic relationship you thought would be fulfilling turns out to be a total sham.

Talking to a pretty girl after supplying her with drugs, even online, is an experience I would love to pay money for. I'm not submissive in anyway either, I'm a genuine dominant person. I don't want to do it for the humiliation of either party, just for this insane oedipal complex that destroys any rational thought I have when I'm around fucked up drug addict women with retarded clothes, messed up hair, and trashy looks.

Does she have to be attractive?

I'm not attractive, so, absolutely not.

Hm. so what you're looking for is basically some chan-girl. There are plenty of those. Maybe try another forum; googling various terms having to do with anything, and putting 'forum' behind them can be a first step

I've been on dating sites and stuff for so long that I've entirely given up on doing anything but letting shit fall into my lap. It's literally not worth chasing females at this point. The frustration makes me even more upset and worse at talking to women.

...

And you're an alcoholic at that. (I am one too btw). I know the feeling of helplessness and lack of energy/motivation due to being depressed. It;s hard to work out when you're just tired all the time..

Is there anything healthy in your life that grants you satisfaction?

A pity. I would have liked to have a friend like that.

The only things that provide me a feeling of "satisfaction" is liquor, video games, and hanging out with friends. I don't hang out with my friends often considering I basically only have one friend.

Sometimes when I get a dnd group together IRL it's fun but it always gets ruined some how. Friends are starting to lose their appeal, too, considering how I had to burn 2 bridges this year due to friends either being friends with the person that raped my roommate after they found out that they raped them, or, because my roommate moved out after I was the best friend I could possibly be without paying me rent and screwing me over financially for some time.

It's been fucking hard lately.

tfw you will never experience this.

no thanks, asians never did anything for me

Why in the ever living fuck would you want to spend time talking to a female. You must in joy wasting your time in a useless conversation. A chat bot will have a more fulfilling conversation then your average women of today. If you want, get drunk because this will be the only way you can restrict your brain to at least relate to how they think. Now find a women ANYWHERE and just start talking about shit that has no damn point at all. Like a shit new song or how hair feels or some crap. It don't matter wtf you say because it will all be a wast of time for you in the end.

Why do you want a female friend?

Friendship is definitely not amongst the already limited functions a woman can have in a guy's life. In a sense, friendships in general are a bit of a façade once you're past a certain age, only existing for either matters of convenience or due to common interests.

I really don't know what exactly you expect to accomplish by having some random female messaging you random shit over IM, that you can't already get elsewhere. Unless, of course, you're being disingenuous here and all you actually want is a romantic partner, which I'd assume is going to be the case 99% of the time.

I can see how a male would like to have an on-romantic female friend. They can help you get into the mind of oether females much easier as well as offer you insights that you may have never thought about yourself. I had a very enlightening chat with a woman on a dating site recently after semi-trolling her about what she thinks makes me fail at dating online.

Lmao I don't think you're in much of a position to talk about women tbh m8

I just want to have one. Would also be cool to talk to her about my sexual exploits or at least my attempts.

Oh, so you want to be friendzoned by a girl you don't even want to fuck?

To each its own I guess.

used to hang out with girls online (met playing vidya) but meh
when you follow your dick you tend to get mediocre or worse

I talked to a girl once

itt: 1 g.i.r.l. talks to 1 faggot

...

Are you trying to make a statement? How about using words?

...

How about a timestamp, faggot?

:'(

you don't believe me?

not even that faggot u talked to exclusively believed u

What makes you think that?

cuz hes so pathetic hed talk to any1 regardless. There was no thinking process in his head

You're an idiot. user already stated he's not the girl in the pictures you fucking biscuit.

What an accurate observation. Spot on, user. Surely didn't aid you in your well-thought out psychological diagnosis?

jokes on u, i wasnt even reading the thread

I figured as much

Why is she so perfect?

cuz u r pathetic

Because she takes 15+ minutes perfecting each picture so she looks all nice

maybe in my next life

She is my obsession

I love her personality too

But she's a mean person.. How can you love that?

...

Sauce!!!

user is proud of his degenerate self destructive habit and wants to show it off to us as if he is unaware. don't feed the beast

Can someone explain to me what trolling is?

it's all coming together itt
op, you once paid a camwhore to post timestamped nudes on 8ch, didn't you? you're also nicolefag. the language is identical

Huh. Well said.

Good catch. How big do you think Nicole's dick is?

Why does it have to be OP? Don't take this out on me.

I don't know why this one faggot keeps responding to her. No one can be that stupid and assume that the one who posts here is a girl.

go to >>>/srz/ and talk to fugthelug

why?

There's plenty of girls out there looking for gay male BFFs.

But I am talking the internet.

Anyone remeber Eliza's rival "Polarbear" (erica rose) ?

I used to have a webm of her rapping the Daddy's Cummies meme, but i cant find it no more.

Has anyone have that one? Post it pls