What are some things i can make using house hold items for fuckin and jerking off

What are some things i can make using house hold items for fuckin and jerking off

Just fuck fruit.

I'm not gay

Cumsocks. Just was them on high and their as good as new.

The dog

Use a child

Cooking oil or the like as lube?

Bicycle inner tube. Cut innertube 3 inches away from valve stem. Also cut 15 inches fro m other side of valve stem. tuck the long end inside itself the roll it until it meets the other side. use contact cement to join the two ends together gluing the insides and lets dry. Then the next day inflate the inner tube till it expands to about the thickness of an eggplant. the end opposite of the glue and a great hole to fuck. Place it between two couch cushions and fuck away. Since its natural rubber you can use water or petroleum based lube.

I thought this was a piece of pita from the thumbnail

pretty sure i've posted this story here (or maybe over on moots little abortion) but it's worth repeating
if you cant figure out the rest then you have no business being here…
he straightfaced told us that it felt super great…totally unashamed… looking back on it now i guess i kind of admire him… the only real issue i had with the arrangement was his keeping his cum-marinaded spank-meat next to my food…

Barbed wire
Razor blades
Kerosene
jalapeno juice

And if you are really into the kinky shit, try using your hand.

Of course, all you really need is pic related.

Put a sponge inside a large latex glove, fold in half, affix with rubber band, lubricate with cooking oil. Homemade fleshlight in seconds.

all I know is that fucking bicycle tires made me sting so fucking bad I felt like I was going to die. something in the rubber has a chemical that stings very very bad.

great way to get a meat born mad cow virus mutating onto your dick

coconut oil is the best lube unless you are allergic to tree nuts or something.

you're a tool so you can go fuck yourself.

these reading chair-shaped pillow things often have really packed, soft stuffing.
never once actually used mine for sitting in, but cumming inside it is amazing.

this. it even works in fleshlights

Why did he keep it hid between the mattress and box spring? Did he think you guys would find it and eat it? Also, why did he have to heat it before he put it there? Was he afraid that it would absorb all the heat from his mattress and then he'd sleep on a cold bed?

Just use your sister, like the rest of us do, ffs!

...

You never forget the first time you cum in your sister

Fuck everyone else's stupid questions. This is the important one:

Is that necrophilia?

Let's fucking hope so!

just want to reiterate how insanely good this one is. you actually have something to grab and push against.
it's about as close to real sexxing you can get without feeling the intense shame of owning a sexdoll or bodypillow.
you have no idea what you're missing out on boys.

One thing I do is I use a blanket and I fold it in half then use. Feels pretty good but it has to be one of the real soft ones.

pic related.
i tryed it myself, feels just like a real slit.
sadly you can only use it once, and it takes some time to make.
not really worth it but good to try

doing this probably makes the ice shatter hard on your cock or something, or makes you penis dissolve or something. i'm not a scientist though

me too. minus the kid brother part

He wasn't hiding it, he was storing it in the fridge between uses. He was putting it between the mattress and the box spring to use it as a literal fleshlight.

Go for it user

Already has the hummus inside

There is no fucking ice. You're not FREEZING it. You're cooling it down using your refrigerator. If your fridge is freezing things, your fridge is too low. That's what a freezer is for.

Anyway, this same "recipe" has been posted on 2chan, as well as at the end of a certain TV show. It's legit, and people actually do this. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not reusable and you definitely need to throw it away. And if your cock is too big or too small, you should adjust the size if/when you try it again.

Basically is cold as fuck, no texture.

Post something that can take it for 30 minutes at 40° (yes, celsius).

Normies everywhere

It's not going to melt, you're cooling it down to help it set. Anyway if you're too rough with it, it's probably going to crumble and fall apart anyway. You need to finesse that shit. But there's no need to worry about the ambient temperature. You're just cooling it so it doesn't feel super uncomfortable applying it to your junk, and to help it solidify its form.

what's wrong with you faggot?

A woman?

Now THAT is fucked up!

kek