I like my women like I like my cars:

_____

Brand new with no mileage?

50 years old and Swedish

leaking fluid all over your driveway?

Securely locked in my garage.

Too expensive and I don't have one?

Cheap, busted and driven by every guy in town?

valuable, dependable, and easy to steer

Japanese and full of beans?

I drive dem out

3 years old?

Seriously. New cars are a scam. Buy used and save money

won't take me to the cleaners when I trade her in for a newer model

The newer model is the one that takes you to the cleaners.

Weighing in at 1600+lb

No!

It's…

On all fours!

Clean and waxed

Asian compact

Self driven?

With a shaft and room in the trunk?

Russian and previously used by my dad

...

broken and scarred

costing $600 a month and constantly having breakdowns
wymyn amirite

No brakes

tote the note? I feel for ya

T U R N I N G P E T R O C H E M I C A L S
I N T O F O R W A R D S M O M E N T U M

being stolen by a black guy

...

uhhh black and have a stick?

Motionless, on the side of the road & in the ditch.

Sincerely,
-Edgemaster

easy to get in, with a tight rear end and a little button to start her up.

Taken for a ride whenever I want?

small, fast and japanese

slow and suffer a lot of breakdowns?

Yellow and have a lot of gas?

Pristine Vintage relics of immeasurable value?

inexpensive but functional?

sure

can get me from point A to B in 5 minutes or less

You.. you liek ur women to be '85 Buicks OP?

Second this.

dirty and screaming

I dunno user, for something tearing around a mud track that car looks remarkably, y'know, clean.

If dating were the auto section of craigslist.

toplel

fueled by alcohol

Course, it goes for betas to.

dead and decomposing in my back yard

What is there to live for?

Bought for no more than $1000

That's the power of German Engineering

Well built, well maintained and no older than 10 years old.

Is daddy issues the Volkswagon of grills?

5 years old and broken in?

with flat tires and a tight exhaust

F
;~;7

fresh off the factory floor ;D