Let's all laugh at Marvel - #Champions issue 2 Storytime

This reminds me of that Young Justice issue where they're sitting around a campfire telling their origins and talking about each other. Except this is not as good as Young Justice.

And Cyclops tells everyone about his powers, but unlike the rest of the team he doesn't get to do a big demonstration because they're running out of pages.

And then, relationship drama! It's supposed to be a shocking twist, but I can't get over the fact that the size difference makes it look like Cho is trying to eat Viv's face.

And look! That huge, massive push for Marvel's new #MarvelChampions Twitter campaign has borne fruit!

…These were the only eight tweets with anything positive to say about the first issue, weren't they?

The end! Come, anons, tell me what you thought of this exciting second issue of #Champions!

Last I checked it was still going but Marvel has been rushing out comics of the events after it to try and make up for how bad it has been…

You know what would be interesting. If Cyclops acted as a mentor to the team since he was a team leader and has had experience with super hero work before.

bravo Marvel. We joke about it, but they really are filled with a bunch of cuck fetishists.

Actually, the event itself hit delays. It was supposed to be over last month, but it's dragging on until January because the artist ran into some family issues and can't keep his deadlines.

but why did they rip off impulse's design for cyclops junior

Why are they treating Cyclops like a criminal? Especially when we have the giant green rage monster walking around? Remember folks, Cyclops did nothing wrong, Wolverine started shit first and being fucking holier than thou when Cyclops killed off Xavier (because Wolvie never killed anyone before)

Marvel did an 'eight months later' timeskip after Secret Wars where, among other things, it was revealed that adult Cyclops died in the middle of trying to kill a whole bunch of Inhumans in a way that made the entire world see him as a horrible monster. Those events are now being covered in the Death of X miniseries.

Of course, with the way the plot's unfolding in Death of X, it's looking like Rightclops was actually dead the whole time and Emma is just projecting his image into everyone's minds to give them a leader to rally around while she carries out her own plans.

So, yeah, you're right, Cyclops did nothing wrong. But everyone thinks he did something terrible.

…Fuck.

Like, totally! You go, girl! Why, I'm sure that happens in like, *soooo* many movies that I'm sure they can name at least a dozen just off the top of their heads!
Maybe half a dozen.
Maybe three…?
Any at all?

What the hell does this mean? No preventing regular humans from committing crimes?
So if they saw an unaugmented, baseline thug robbing a woman while holding a gun to an infant's head they wouldn't do anything to stop it, as a superhuman fighting a regular human would be "punching down"?

And I love the irony of the "Show, don't tell" line.
Instead of these *ahem* "Heroes" demonstrating their abilities in the process of being heroic, we just have a bunch of kids round a fucking campfire boasting to each other about their mad skillz.

I see all this righteous bullshit as Marvel constantly jerking off about how progressive they are, while they slowly die of thirst.

...

This sounds like a great team that totally isn't going to implode and lead to them killing eachother.

ch-ch-checked

I've said it on halfchan but this book would be so much better if the intent was to satirize teenage culture because the cast is written like a bunch of narcissistic, self-absorbed assholes who only engage in virtue signalling because it's how you show how great of a person they are and it's a great way to impress some girl/boy with how totally aware and nice you are.

Think about it. If that was intended to skewer millennial culture it'd be a really on point piece of satire. But it's not. It's earnest You're not supposed to find these characters to be self-absorbed twats, you're supposed to think they're #woke and #brave and other bullshit as they fail to do anything useful and eagerly check social media for kudos for their bravery.

this shit can't be real
this is en par with patsy walker, just with actual superpowers sprinkled onto this turd of a comic

It's cool, I can still turn this lemon into a lemonade. Observe:

Would someone story time the camping issue of Young Justice? Just so we can remember when things weren't… this!

… If Hulk's mouth is opened as wide as his face's position indicates, his teeth are in girl Vision's cheek.

I don't remember Cho acting half as much of a douche as he is in this comic.

They're all getting fucked over in this series.

TRASH.

Isn't cho too old to be making out with a teen robot?

When will this shit get cancelled?

(checked)
You know, for all the flaws the original had i never saw it as more than than the b-movie equivalent of what was a standard for the time for Marvel to churn out and it had it's moments ,intentional or unintentional, like all b-movies do; but now they decide to take this and make it their flagship? And two issues in and it's already a trainwreck.
How can you fuck up something as simple as a b-movie ? Will it even reach the 17th issue like the original did before they cancel it?

OH yeah, I mean, it's probably their most diverse super hero team ever. We'll never see the end of it.

That's actually brilliant.
Look - she had to dismantle the sentence and scour the words and then deliberately *try* to rationalise it in a way that could be perceived as offensive.

Some unintentional truths there, I reckon!

I think that that was actually intended to be part of the joke. That said, I also think that Mark Waid believes microaggressions are real, and that the comedy of the scene was supposed to be Viv misunderstanding basic social interactions because lol she's a robot.

It does work pretty well as an illustration of how bullshit the concept of microaggressions is, though.

you just had to meme it , didn't you ?

See, I missed that because now the very concept of a joke like that appearing in current year Marvel is utterly alien.
It's usually nothing but sarcasm.

The TV one? I have that somewhere if you'd like me to post it. Haven't read the actual YJ in the comics, so I wouldn't know if you meant one in there.

JUST

I got it.

...

Nightwing is so fucking cool.

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That's it.

Yo dawg, I heard you like masks so we put a mask on your mask so you can mask while you mask.

kind of adorable, honestly.
Great issue, Young Justice did that shit right.

Yep. This completely blows Champions out of the water. If only Marvel could've gotten Peter David to write their series for them.

So let me get this straight. The purpose of champions, in modern marvel, is that they are a group of young heroes who believe the adult heroes are not being proper, which is true. But innthe end the yoinger generation is essentially more egotistical and self righteous than the adult heroes…

Fucking Marvel.

Thanks user.

Notice it was Issue 7 they did this. In Young Justice they gave the characters a chance to interact on an individual basis, more time to get everyone introduced. Just, more time to fucking breath. Hell, issue one just had Superboy, Robin and Kid Flash as members.

And then! After 6 issues of pretty cool adventures, during which they pick up 3 new members, they go out in the woods together to decompress and just have fun as a team. It also introduces one of Superboy's character conflicts, sets up Arrowette's issues with her mother, establishes how fearful Wondergirl's mother is of having a superhero for a daughter and gives the parents/ mentors a concrete identity as well as a place in the story.

Whereas in Champions the campout was a dumb excuse to introduce a forced love triangle between three characters with no chemistry.

Yes..appealing to shippers. That's a great way to start you comics. Hell, I can come up with better ideas than Marvel.

Yer basic problem here is, it seems to me, is that you've got idiots trying to write characters who aren't supposed to be idiots, but anyone who isn't an idiot can see that the characters are all acting like idiots, and even character shields protecting them from the consequences of their own idiocy can't disguise the fact that they're written by an idiot.

...

You're never too old user, never.

This shit has to be satire.

she makes nightwing so mad he teleports across the room

>You're not going to the make the woman the spoilsport, like she is in every. single. movie.
who the fuck are you talking to? You started acting like a bitch of your own accord, are you talking to the writer? And what do you mean 'the woman' you bigot.

I do find it funny that she says that, since that is OBVIOUSLY THE ROLE SHE HAS. Which isn't a terrible take on her general character that I've seen in her own book (where her main trait is being earnest) but it falls definitely into an overall pigeonholing that's going on. While that's a standard thing for team books, I'd kind of hope that more care would be put into this if this is really Marvel's big push for Marvel Now. None of these characters sell THAT well on their own, so presenting a really shallow version of them in the team book won't get people buying their solos.

And it's weird to have them in some of the roles they're in, honestly. Sam is the loser, that's fine, he's the loser in his own book. Miles is just sorta there… which is probably a problem core to the character, since he's just a replacement Peter. Kamala is the busybody, that loses a lot of the sincerity she normally shows. Amadeus is the jock? I mean, he's a bit of a show off at times, but I think this portrayal of him is a bit weak. Viv… I don't know, she's a robot. She's probably one of the more interesting parts of the group, but I feel like she's still not really shining as much as she could.

I still think stories of them attending funerals, repairing buildings or otherwise dealing more with the aftermath of fights would be a lot more interesting. Just a whole book of them basically doing volunteer work and dealing with eachother and normal people who get caught up in all this superhero shit. That's the book they should be making.

And to be more clear on what kinda stuff I'd want them to do, go read Shazam Power of Hope.

I remember seeing a storytime of that user. It was a great book. We need more stuff like that.

now see I might put money to that, it has potential. This is just some awful grabbag of characters I'm already sick of from their relentless cameos in other comics.

Piper Perri's new Marvel Porn

That's something that pisses me off too. It's like no Marvel writers communicate or read each others books. If you get Kamala she's…sort of like the muslim version of Christ-Tan and will constantly call people out for shit because she IS Morals Woman. She's Stephen Molyneux but a Muslim because diversity…but people don't seem to get that people may hold different moral values and so instead of some people, y'know, disagreeing with her (See teams like Fantastic Four in the old days, Astonishing X-men, Exiles and what not) everybody just seems to nod and say "SHE IS RIGHT!" which works as a parody but overall doesn't really make any god damn sense for not only Cho of all people to agree with her but fucking Sam and Miles?

Miles has stated for a while that he isn't Peter and you can't make him Peter…and yet he's just existing here instead of trying to carve out his own version of Spider-Man and prove he deserves the mantle. Sam is okay at best but in all honesty he really shouldn't be giving a fuck this kid took on Thanos but I guess at this point who the hell hasn't.

Cho though is the most aggrevating for me, I am a HUGE Hercules fan and it's fucking bonkers for the third smartest person in the world. The analytical, smug almost better version of "kid Loki" to become a "FOOTBALLS GET IT, I HAVE MUSCLE" and yet still be bossed around. There's a thing called casual conflict which I don't think this author grasps because they are so used to censoring others and blocking those with dissenting views and so they don't know how to write characters that hold other views but are still friends. My brother is a total SJW faggot but we both like Wrestling and so we bond over that. We have a common goal. My sister is a total whore but when she comes home from school we play a fuck ton of Nintendo and I show her the webms I saved from that day. We haven't got much else in common but we still love each other. How is this so fucking impossible for these people to grasp?

Teams are easy:

Rinse and repeat.
So, What would Holla Forums do to re-write this schlock?

That reminds me of the old Xmen stuff during the Claremont run. Wolverine and Nightcrawler getting along despite Wovlerine being an atheist and Nightcrawler a catholic. I miss those days. Hell I don't think even people now days understand casual conflict with this election cycle and all.

I hope they don't start doing this shit in movies, I like watching them at the cinema, but I won't pay for that.

I don't think Marvel is dumb enough to do that. Or at least the Russo brothers aren't.

Spider-man Homecoming is the most likely to pull shit like this.

So, I do believe I've just found the pièce de résistance to this shit-show.

Please God no…

WTF, Well it's probably going to be the spiderdindu and viv.. muh synthezoid lezbo…
Just make an all LGBTTQQIAAP fucking comic already so that shit will be quarantined and it'll sell 6,000 copies a month. Forcing Marvel to be cucked than it already is by sjw's. This shit is fucking enraging. CAN'T WE GET FUCKING SUPER HERO STORIES ANYMORE AND NOT FAGGOTRY?!?!?!

...

You mean you guys don't find this shit hilarious? You both need to learn how to laugh, Holla Forumsmrades.

But, muh diversity. We couldn't replace a woman of color with a white man, you racist.

user, you ruined it for me. How can I laugh at this anymore? Now I'm just depressed about the wasted potential.

Well, Young Justice had to get the big, important stuff in there first, like Nina Dowd. :)

This would be great if it was a commentary on how meaningless and diluted hero personas have become.

Oh, really, because knowing [current year] Marvel, it's all of them. Whatcha gonna do now, Waid?

Fingers crossed for some "lesbotic tendencies," though. We might end up with some decent R34.

...

Its not like any of the characters weren't already ruined.

Nah, it's just that in cases like this, you either laugh at the writer for being a faggot or rage at the man for being a faggot, and I prefer laughter to rage.

...

Looks like character icons for a knock-off fighting game

So dubs your position is like vid related?

Shit I meant to reply to

Not for everything, but in this case? You can either laugh at Mark Waid for being a faggot, or you can get mad at Mark Waid for being a faggot. I prefer to laugh.

IT'S FUCKING YOUNG AVENGERS AGAIN

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE FUCKING STATE OF THIS COMPANY

Tbh fam I'm more sad than anything since I love Mark Waid's older work and am sad to see what he's become.

Wait was Young Avengers bad? I wanted to check out the earlier volumes.

Not him, but I liked the first volume at least. This is their attempt at a new New Warriors/Young Avengers though, but very arguably not as interesting as either. I might have to look up some of the early issues of New Warriors and Young Avengers again though, see how things compare to this latest attempt at a young team book.

Do you think we should storytime it like we did the Young Justice issue where they're sitting in a campfire?

Do the first two issues, just for comparison.

I'm not the storytime guy but hopefully he'll do that.

It isn't surprising miles has no imagination.

How can there be more then all of them?

But this is a better thing then user believes, by making Miles gay they will alienate the nignogs, and im not even going to go into the case of Kamala.

the Holla Forums inside of me is triggered.

Also, what the fuck is up with all these random smatterings of powers? OK, you got Captain Marvel, who's a Plastic Man type, and Hulk, who's hulk, but why does everyone else seem to get random-ass shit? Like, why does Spidey have an "Electro Touch"? And what the fuck is even going on with Nova?

The early Young Avengers volumes are pretty good but a little preachy with the two gay characters. But it was enjoyable. Then Marvel NOW happened. They all got fucked over.

Oh yeah, I forgot to ask about that. Do all the Nova Corps people have TK? As for miles, his "electro-sting" was supposed to be analogous to spider venom disrupting the nervous system and is usually called his "venom blast." (people hated it because it allowed him to defeat people much stronger than him with little to no ingenuity) Since when can he turn invisible, though? Is that Civil War 2 spoilers or something?

This one page is everything wrong with modern Marvel comics.

Miles could always turn invisible. Because 1 breed of spider that can slowly switch between 2 colors is enough to validate full on octo-camo powers.

This issue is very much meant to be their introduction issue, because somehow, they think this toilet paper will find its way into the hands of hundreds of thousands of new young readers who will see this NEW EXCITING DIVERSE TEAM! and lunge at the opportunity to pay marvel for the privilege of reading it.

This notion is made even worse by all the SJW-speak in it. Seriously.. Microaggressions? These faggots want to indoctrinate children with this kind of shit. They legitimately think their comics should exist to promote diversity and safe space culture, trigger warnings, and identity politics.

And the fucking cherry on top? Relationshit drama! Cho is a bully bad boy who stole the girl Nova had a crush on! GASP!

So how you setup a non-retard series of new young heroes a team?

That should be the next Marvel Civil War event. Everyone becomes Captain America and fights over who has the right idea behind what "Captain America" should stand for.

Honestly Champions had a good setup. Miss Kebab getting mad because a lot of heroes seemed to stop caring about the people they were saving was a great idea, but they should have had her trying to do post fight construction and stuff on her own, and had heroes join after being inspired by her example. Like, have her just picking up debris, and Miles shows up and just says, "It, uh, looked like you could use some help."

Instead of having them fight supervillans, have them move into the wastelands left over from other super team's fights and deal with the fallout. Like in Age of Ultron, sure the Avengers won the day, but they were still an entire country that got obliterated.

Have the team take requests from normal people. stuff that's kind of small, but still important. A huge number of missing people's case in one area, a neighborhood of people being harassed by gangs until they move out, or someone saying "I need help hiding a person, I can't tell you more unless we meet in person." Dedicate an entire issue of each team member investigating an individual claim, and seeing what is worth investigating, which would be fun seeing a bunch of 12-16 year old superheroes trying to learn investigative skills.

Lastly, "Champions" is the blandest fucking name for their team. Considering how they want to help with the aftermath of shit the bigger names create, they should have named themselves the "Fallout Fixers," or "Construction Crew" or something.

But…can he only invis while standing still? In Gwenpool they show him getting nervous b/c someone is about to walk in on him changing, why not change while invisible? Why hasn't he been invisible in any of his fights during CW2? Why did the champions rush the clown guy from issue #1 when they should have had Miles perform a stealth takedown and then let the rest of the Champions clean up.

That's just baby's first Suicide Squad, though…

Problem is, that would still be the same lazy shit that we've seen in Squirrel Girl and Hellcat, where a bunch of shallow college-age kids (written by an adult who still thinks he's cool) live out a life where they play pretend that they are heroes, but at best deal with some bottom-tier purse snatcher of a nuisance that the police could have handled.

No, fuck this idea. It once again pushes the supervillain to the sidelines by making the big, destructive climax of a confrontation the mere starting point of the story so that we can get onto the important task of sweeping the floors.

I could honestly see an interesting story in that. And if they followed a logical direction for Kamala, I could see her being central to it. She got into all this shit because she admired Carol… and Carol ended up fucking everything up. Captain America either has been revealed as a Hydra agent (or would be before this hypothetical event), everyone would fight over who deserves the shield, who represents America the most. And, as the fighting heated up, Kamala would take the shield, but NOT to be Captain America. She'd basically be pseudo on the run with it, people would align with her or against her, as she made it clear she didn't think anyone was worthy of it yet. Considering all the bullshit that went on around her, she shouldn't really trust a lot of the adults. And she'd probably suffer a lot of flack and bullshit from people who question why she is doing what she feels is right, she'd lose friends and be labelled a traitor by many.

But eventually she would find someone worthy, and passes it on to them. And when that new Cap asks how to explain things to everyone, she'll say "just tell them that Ms. Marvel gave you the shield, they'll understand."

And just so it can be a sentimental moment to build off all the sacrifices Kamala made to safeguard the shield, new Cap would reply with "As far as I'm concerned, Captain America gave me this shield."

What do you think? Could it be done okay?

Sounds interesting though it makes me somewhat concerned that Kamala a relatively new character gets to decide who Captain America than the older heroes who've known him for years. I get that Carol and Sam Wilson are fucking idiots but some of the other older heroes might deserve it. Unless Marvel fucked with all the older heroes already. Still nice idea though.

I think the thing is that, yes, if a modern Marvel writer did it, it would suck. But, if you think of his idea, it's a lot of what the Patsy Walker book SHOULD have been. Think about it, Patsy is running a service where powered people can do odd jobs helping people. Not really heroes for hire, but the amount of construction and rescue services that could be handled by people with super strength or super agility alone is staggering. Imagine if the book wasn't a self absorbed borefest focused on the least interesting person in the building (Patsy herself). Think of a bunch of powered people actually trying to make a living, resisting the urge to do crimes (that they could probably easily get away with), deal with eachother and normal people, and deal with actually being poor while also being amazingly gifted. But all that would look at actual problems people have, and wouldn't revolve around Patsy sitting in a karaoke bar with her loser friends and gawk at how gay they are.

I forget, who all tried for the shield when Cap died, and how many of them would actually still want it? And yeah, Kamala being young and relatively inexperienced would be a lot of the reason most people would just HATE HER for taking the shield. That would be a good deal of the conflict, as even the people who think she's not a traitor think she's misguided. But a lot of her journey would also be taking it to established heroes, the few she trusts, and see if they would take up the name.

I kinda see a scene where she ends up offering it to Spiderman (Peter), and him jokingly entertain the idea just to see how much it would upset J. Jonah Jameson. But he's then tell her about the Steve Rogers he knew, and tell her it's her responsibility to find someone who embodies those ideals. Which would probably be a mid-story moment, as it really sets Kamala on the proper path (I'd probably portray her taking the shield and not giving it to anyone as a very sudden, sporatic act of frustration with how stupid most of the adult heroes are).

This kind of reminds me of the Runaways. Basically the story behind them was a bunch of teenagers whose parents all knew eachother and would meet up once a year to do boring charity stuff together.
Except one day the kids eavesdropped on their parents during the yearly meeting out of boredom and discovered that their parents were actually some sort of super-villian cult that were really good at avoiding the attention of actual super heros. Cue 18 issues of the kids trying to fight their parents after running away from home, at the end of the first 18 issues they finally defeat their parents and end up in the aftermath continuing to fight crime as various other super-criminals try to fill the power vacuum in the region and they feel it's kind of their fault (or their parents) for that vacuum.

It wasn't so much a deniable asset "Suicide Squad" style thing though, more a bunch of kids all roughly the same age who were all viewed eachother as family/the only people they could trust, trying to clear up the legacies of their evil parents.

He can go invisible, but it's not a great power. If he's on a wall and no one knows he's there, he's probably going to avoid detection for awhile unless someone gets too close. In one of his earlier comics, he was being chased by the police. He turned invisible, and hugged against a wall a few stories up. It kept him hidden until a search light happened to move right over him, and the cops immediately spotted him. Basically it's a decent spying/infiltration tool, but not much else.

No, Hellcat and Squirrel Girl's problems are that nothing fucking happens,, and if something does, the main characters don't even do the fighting. A story about some well-intentioned teenage superheroes could be fantastic. If you can't imagine a short story about Miles and Miss Marvel stowing away on a plane to some foreign country to help and can't afford to get there on their own wallet, you're dumb.

Plus, there's plenty of opportunities for them to actually fight big level shit. Who's to say that the latest threat the Avengers fought wasn't actually a manufactured villain, for someone to move in on a wartorn area and set it up as their base of operations once the big league heroes had fucked off, assuming the threat was dealt with?

God dammit, user. You weren't supposed to turn that into an actually really cool idea. That actually sounds amazing.

I could imagine the plot working as a sideline to a huge universe event. My thoughts: Supervilains all band together a la Old Man Logan. Except it's not a one night thing, and it turns into a huge war inside of America. Captain America dies during the initial onslaught, and there are a bunch of different factions of superheroes with their own ideas on how to fight the supervillain conglomerate. So Cap's shield becomes a symbolic rallying point, and whoever gets it will basically become the leader of all the superheroes. Until someone gets Captain's shield, the war can't end because the superheroes are so fractured the can't make a decisive strike, and no one is banding together because they aren't really losing the war, it's just stuck in a stalemate.

Meanwhile we have Miss Marvel who was entrusted with Cap's shield as he died, with the promise that she would find a proper wielder for it. She knows if she gave it to the next person she ran across, they could win the war immediately, but she can't bring herself to betray Captain's trust, and wouldn't be able to live with herself if the shield ended up with someone like The Punisher.

Isn't that like Nightcrawler's invisibility? He can blend in with shadows because of his fur?

That sounds pretty damn interesting user. Funny you mention Punisher there's one story where he becomes captain america.

I read all of this and just think.

Japs are pretty much at the top of the game right now. America used to be on top but everything is declining dramatically. Now the Japs have a solid hold on the animation, comic, and video game market. While American studios are producing mindless cheap crap. And big comic companies are releasing shit like this. Not to shill for Japan anymore but how can the western market compete with them? The only way America could regain the top spot would be if France stepped up their game some more or Japanese people die out.

The percentage of successes you assume are VERY generous. The thing is that in manga, an idea has to stand on its own, and if it fails, a new idea gets a chance. No one really gets a push unless people LOVE the story, and less interesting stories will eventually fall away so better ones can take their place. The fans get to decide to a degree what is and isn't published.

With Marvel, if Marvel wants to push something, they'll push it. No one would have kept Patsy Walker or Squirrel Girl around if fan opinion mattered. Marvel wants to dictate what is popular, no listen to what people want or don't want. And that's why Champions probably won't be retooled into a better book any time soon.

Here's the problem I have with this idea that they should be dealing with the stuff too small for the big-time heroes: All of the characters in this team-up ARE A-LISTERS.

They're written like they are street-level newbies but look at who they've got

All of these characters have NO PLACE WHATSOEVER dealing with street-level threats or doing post-battle cleanup while the "real heroes" are busy running off somewhere else.

Hulk, Nova, and Visioness just shouldn't have been on the team. This is just part of the "writers are retarded" problem.

Big difference between

I know. Molly is the only good part of Runaways

You know with that set up I want to see a comic with mercs taking jobs and doing merc stuff. Kind of like Black Lagoon.

This is the closest you'll get from Marvel.

Is it any good?

The only problem with this aggrandizing of Captain America is that he's been objectively ruined. And if he's outed in CW2, as it seems he will be, then everybody will know it. Unless they completely undo Red Skull's temporal shenanigans, Captain America will become the most reviled figure in the Marvel universe, surpassing even Carol.

Thanks for the clarification. That sounds like a retarded thing to classify as a "power." It smacks of someone who is bothered when people nitpick saying "Hiding in the shadows doesn't turn you invisible like videogames, he definitely would have been noticed," or "Why didn't anybody see him hanging on the underside of that catwalk on page x panel y?"

The response should not be, "I will design a very specific niche power to keep autists who have never ventured far enough away from the city's light to understand how dark the dark can be," but rather, "Bitch, they didn't see him because I said so and the artist drew him with heavy shadows." Miles already solves a huge part of that problem by wearing a black costume, which I think is concession enough to the "muh realism" crowd.

Dunno. But it's written by Bunn instead of Duggan so it's probably okay.

ok then I'll check it out.

…or US 1?

Shit I remember Linkara reviewing that one. It looked fun as hell.

Except a lot of the (interesting) Suicide Squad are characterized more roundly, rather than being complete raging psychopaths. And note that I said "baby's first," which implies a lessening of severe elements, while keeping the overarching theme. I'm not saying Suicide Squad is the originator of it's kind (I would refer to it as a Dirty Dozen plot, but there's probably an even older example), but Marvel creating a knock-off while being handicapped by having it deal with juveniles doesn't seem like a smart direction.

Let's not exaggerate here, user.

Hopefully they'll go haram with Little Miss Halal. I want the galaxy to burn.

Just wondering how do the Muslims feel about Kamala? Was there that big of a response to begin with?

I wonder if there is much of a Muslim audience for American comics at all. I have to assume any Muslim who is American enough to want to read this stuff anyway already has very Western sensibilities, no very traditional Muslims are going to wander into a comic shop and get drawn into all of this due to Muslim characters.

Since her religion (like with most characters) is best used as a very background element, it's pretty clear Kamala is really for spoiled white kids who would demand a Muslim hero is one wasn't there. She just has to exist but not many people are running out to read her.

I'm not sure if there are muslims reading American comics. Maybe some socjus ones but even then that sort of thing would be virtue signaling rather than genuine interest.

Its funny that some people think that a character has to be the same race in order for the reader to like them. I'm a hapa and I loved reading Spiderman growing up because he was a relatable fun character not because of his race. Same with the other heroes.

I wouldn't mind race or religion in characters as long as they were a part of the character and explored it like Nightcrawler and Catholocism or Daredevil and Catholocism. That would be more interesting than using religion as window dressing.

It's especially weird because the characters Marvel makes SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT were canon inspired by white heroes from decades ago. Miles didn't need Peter to be black to be inspired by him. Kamala didn't need Carol to be Muslim OR Inhuman to be inspired by her. Riri didn't need Tony to be black or a woman. It's like some part in the back of the writer's mind knows all this identity politics shit is actually regressive and disgusting as fuck, but can only communicate it in a way they don't even fully understand. They think real kids are so fucking shallow that they need heroes that look just like them, while the characters themselves somehow see through how stupid an idea that is.

The funny part is that the asian guy cucked the spic from his new fleshlight.

And that's why DC is doing competently at least with Rebirth, while Marvel is severely falling behind business-wise trying to be the big-name comics equivalent of Bioware (and by that, I mean pushing a desperate attempt in trying to develop a " hip diversity-first" image to attract "new customers" rather than produce quality material just like in their earlier career times). Granted, I'll agree with a few of the anons on this board that the current attitude of the comics industry is "pozzed", and is gradually tipping the industry itself down the drain, but let's be reasonable here: until Marvel seriously looks at its sales, stops whitewashing the facts, humbly admits that DC is faring better than them with the quality of their own material and starts realising that putting the "diversity first" comics as top commercial priority was, no, IS a detrimental business decision, these shitshows will not cease. I've got a hunch that around 2018 or so is where it eventually happens.

They really should learn a thing or two from the nips and stop assuming that tumblrites and whiners from journalist sites and twitter are the demographic majority of their readers. That, and making a serious effort to persuade their hired writers to quit lapping down on the kool-aid springs and start behaving professionally (even if this does sound like an utter joke).

I think the biggest failing of Marvel's "diversity first" push is the complete lack of diversity in it. Yeah, Miles, Sam and Kamala are all different colors, and I could tell you what I like or don't like about each book… but they're essentially THE SAME BOOK. Young hero dealing with cape stuff, parents, friends and school. Then they're pushing Squirrel Girl's Tumblr adventures, Patsy Walker Sits on Her Ass, and Mockingbird's Feminist Agenda and Cowboy Murder. Those all offer the same shit in a slightly different wrapper, where nothing happens and the lead character is just sorta handed victories with no struggle. Almost every Marvel Now book could probably be compared directly to another book Marvel is pushing, showing that these are core ideas they want to push and they want to prove that ONE of them will stick. Which wouldn't be a problem by itself, who cares if Marvel created an entire line of books aimed at Tumblr? The problem is a lot of this shit spills over into other books where it's tonally and logically wrong. Thor shouldn't care about feminism no matter what gender holds the hammer. Captain America has always had a blend of action so good you didn't notice of mind if things got preachy, but all you get in the Sam Wilson book is PREACH and no action to back it up. They need to offer more titles that are break from all this culture war/identity politics shit because all that shit does is result in boring stories and make people miserable. Does Marvel even have anything that could really be called a cheesecake title going right now? Even She-Hulk is coming back in some ultra dark story that no one wanted for a character whose best stories were lighthearted as fuck.

Oh well, they'll pull their heads out of their ass someday or Disney will just stop publishing comics. Who cares.

You have a point. They're really overreliant on using all these monotonous themes.

You lost me with the gross misinformation and that shitty defeatist tone. Yes, Marvel does have corporate ties with Disney and acquires assets from them, but Disney doesn't dictate what comics they are to make, and Disney itself doesn't publish Marvel's comics. Other than that, you're absolutely right that we shouldn't worry too much about Marvel. They'll have to figure it out their problems themselves, since it's clearly their responsibility. Second, I care, faggot.

Post-Script: Now that you've mentioned She-Hulk, John Byrne's Sensational She-Hulk run was fun, even though I'm not a big fan of cheesecake material myself. The 4th wall humor was excellent.

Honestly since she's a bio-bot I want to say that this could be considered squicky and lead into statutory bullshit later on but it's Marvel so it's all for laughs. Also this just begs for Nova to become a villain later on.

To be honest, I don't actually buy American comics…considering that they are expensive in my country. And the bookstores I visit usually have them in limited numbers unless it's Archie. I'm serious, MYR 14 for 20+ pages? I can buy like 3 volumes of manga for that price.

Im not even sure if capeshit comics are translated to polish.

I checked the conversion, comics aren't actually that expensive there compared to in the states… but you're seriously paying that little for a volume of manga? Damn, yeah, I wouldn't buy american comics either if I could just buy a shitton of manga for that little.

Relevant.

So… how often has Felicia fucked a guy SPECIFICALLY to cuck Peter? Hell, when I was a kid she was dating Flash just to try to make Peter jealous/fuck up his marriage.

Mudslimes can't read comics. They aren't allowed to. Comics are haram. They would be shunned/beaten/beheaded if they got caught reading comics.
Other things that are haram: wearing makeup, being gay, women walking around with no headcover, trannies, women going out without male escort
Yet marvel's fantasy libshit muslims seem to be cool with all that shit so clearly kamala was made for white sjws, not actual dune coons

Yeah. Of course nowadays most newstands don't carry mangas unless it's Doraemon, Crayon Shin Chan or Case Closed. You want the good shit you gotta go to certain shops at the mall that carry stuff like Dragon Ball or JoJo. I used to recall back in the 90's where I can easily pick up Fist of the North Star, Dragon Ball and Dr. Slump at the newstands.

Depends on which country. Some are OK with comics..others not so much. And beheadings? I don't about you but where I'm from, I ain't seen any beheadings or beatings..or gays being thrown off roofs.

...

Hey, if it's not good, there wouldn't be thousands and thousands of imitators now would they?

Popularity does not equal quality at all.

Sometimes, but not all the time.

Much less than you probably think. Twilight, normie anime you see merchandise of everywhere, Harry Potter, Paranormal Activity, Marvel and DC for goodness sake. Popular things but the quality is not actually that high at all. It's very very rare that something popular is actually very good.

Don't be a fucking hipster, user.

I'm not. Even unpopular shit is never guaranteed quality work either. I'm just saying not to equate popularity to quality. That's how they get you to buy shit.

With the excessive number of homosexual and degenerate characters in comics these days, the countries with enough of an economy and literate population that might be able to read comics would still ban them for their heretical contents.

user, I don't want to hear Dune Coon or Sand Nigger from you or anybody else. Towel Head and Camel Jockey are perfectly good substitutes.

To be fair, Cho actually knows Viv, so he's the most likely to form a relationship with her. Sam is actually the third party. Of course, it will almost certainly turn out that she was curios as she stated before and just asked Cho to show her as a friend, but I find it weird that Amadeus didn't de-Hulk to give her a smooch.

Maybe he's hornier when he's Hulk.

A minor complaint about Viv, but does a robot girl really need boobs? Wouldn't an advanced robot girl know that she would be better off without them or that she won't even use them for there "intended" purpose (can she even reproduce?).

The simple adddition of some OM NOM NOM or other "eating noises" sound effects added to that "kissing image" is all you would need to change the context of it.

Betting it's Nova being gay. That's why he didn't kiss Viv.

Well, this was surprisingly good. Thanks user. Never heard of the "ghost/vapor girl" (named Imp?) before this.

That was a fucking good storytime. If I ever got the money, I would buy multiple copies of this and donate them to every library in my area, it NEEDS to be read by more people.

That what the purpose of Young Justice in their animated series was, being black ops for the Justice League because the JL was "too public."

Vision probably has a dick, can fall in love and cry… so, sure, why not.

I read that as "that's why Viv didn't kiss him", and thought you meant that Viv has gaydar.

Her name was Secret.

bit of an irony in that last panel

:(

That's actually a plot point

Damn corporate synergy straight to the worst depths of hell.

Really? Is it a psychological thing cuz I tend to notice that with the Hulks. Hulk is angry because Bruce was abused as a child. She Hulk is sexy because Jennifer wants to be sexy since she's a wallflower. Amadeus is horny cuz he can't get laid?

Those tech lines are a damn disgrace. Vision has no tech lines, why did he give his family tech lines. What is this? This is deviantart-level character design. Like, some teenage clank-boy drew this shit.

Something something teenage hormones.

maybe they're basing it off of the movies.

And, in this scenario, you don't find it more curious that he didn't explain why that's wrong?

Hulk is horny, yo.

And a douche, apparently.

Don't pretend you wouldn't kiss your curious robot girl pal. Don't even tell me for a SECOND you wouldn't be balls deep in dat if she was interested in the experience.

Not if she had a boyfriend already. Particularly not if she is supposed to be a friend. Absolutely not if her boyfriend is a colleague.

I wouldn't date within the team, no matter the lure of a super sexy robot.

Does she have a boyfriend?

If you're talking about the statutory thing, that doesn't even matter. A good writer would ignore the "age difference" out of principle, because autistically delving into that sidetracks and damages the story. I don't believe Waid is a good writer, so he probably wants to acknowledge the transhuman aspect of Viv and treat her as exempt in true tumblr fashion.

Man, Peter Parker was probably just not as smart as Ms.Muslim huh?

That loser had a shit social life, was out superhoeroing and getting his ass kicked every day of the week, was considered a retard at school, a slacker, and the city hated him for it. He was going to die in a ditch forgotten and uncared for if he had ever fallen. His depression was shit he was expected to overcome on his own.

Ms.Muslim goes superheroing, but we never see her do shit. EVERYONE congratulates her. She's got lots of friends she can blab her double life to. She's barely existed for 4 years and she's already eyeing the Captain America title. and besides all this. SHE HAS A 4.0 GPA.

This is why I hate modern marvel.

No. Nova is too much of a beta to ask girls out. She's free, and Cho wasn't around for the part where Sam was making it clear he was interested in Viv.

It's still a stupid plot twist that only exists to cause pointless drama, but Cho isn't actually at fault on this one.

Hell, even Miles was getting shit from his family in his own book because his superheroing was causing his grades to slip. This isn't just a Modern Marvel thing, Kamala just outright has it easier than everybody else.

Peter had some trouble in college, but he probably had a 4.0 (or just straight As since it was the 60s) in highschool. I assume they changed that in Ultimate since he was in Highschool for like 10 years there.

Or maybe he's taking advantage of having access to a massive throbbing green hulk cock down there . . . and with robot girl being able to phase through solid object just be able to "adjust" her self to fit it.

You people need to realize that just because it's sexy looking doesn't mean it's a good idea to kiss it. Kissing a metal mannequin can't be all that great, no matter how perky her breasts are.

No, it's always a good idea.

Jesus you're right. Marvel, DC, neither of them have any villains that are untouchable. EVERYONE has to have kicked the biggest baddie's ass at least once to prove their strength.

And when they put in an event villain they end up looking like edgelords because they need to set themselves apart somehow.

Jfc, do it, fucking DO IT.
They're starting to poz their own poz, this is hilarious. I want them to fucking do this. I WANT TO SEE HOW DEEP THE RABBIT HOLE GOES

plus the cyborg getting pushed out of the spotlight forcefully even though he looks cooler than anyone else pictured there

what's in that jug, is she chugging milk or gasoline?

Isn't that just the Astro City silver guy storyline? It was pretty neat seeing how a retired supervillain was trying to just live an honest life and trying to ignore the call to supervillainy.

Having someone close to the Cap actively hating her the most because he thought he "got" Captain America more than anyone else would be a nice person to have as an end of story villain.

Probably Stark again. I mean, he was central to the first 2 civil wars. He might as well just fucking come along for the last one.

That one was pretty fun.

It was a bit sad to see the whole team fall apart and new people being added in.

Why the fuck WOULDN'T Punisher become Captain America? It'd be interesting to see him do a story where he *gasp*, doesn't kill!
He'd be getting some neat character growth and would show how you don't need to have a shit-ton of drugs pumping through you, a supersuit, or batman-tier financing to be a superhero people can rally around. That you can achieve greatness by being really really pissed off. Having Frank go from losing everything, to taking everything from people as The Punisher, to eventually becoming Captain America, and giving everything to fill Steve Roger's shoes.
It's a pretty shitty idea though.

She ended up retiring the cape and living a normal life.
Thanks to Darkseid, surprisingly. I'm happy she hasn't appeared again

And that's why Nova isn't fucking the robot and Cho is.
You're Nova in this scenario, I'm the guy balls-deep in the robot.

I'd imagine the visions' "flesh" is made out of some soft stuff since they can articulate as if it was.

Hero we need.

Yeah..considering that Darkseid was outright civil to Secret.

Oh yeah, good times.

I took a look at that once. Didn't feel right the way all the kids immediately betrayed their own parents.

That sounds great.

ups, meant to reply to

I know a few muslims who read comics. They're the deeply westernized ones, so I don't know if they count.

What about Towel Jockey and Camel Head?

...

Hell, remember that Miles' mom's final words as she died were to tell him to never let his dad know he was Spider-man because he was a huge mutant-racist.

he still is?

fuck meant for

To be fair the kids DID see their parents fucking slice a girl like it was christmas ham for a sacrifice. Shit's fucked dude.
The Skrull and the other Ayyy didn't even know they were Ayys

If Darkseid truly did exist in all universes, then maybe he just decided to feign stupidity at that moment and gave her a normal life as "punishment".
For all the evil Darkseid has attributed to him, he fucking did the charity deed of the fucking millenia right there.