Hey Holla Forums, how the fuck do I do a job interview?

Hey Holla Forums, how the fuck do I do a job interview?

t. autist with no social skills

That depends. Do you have empathy, can you read people well?

act like a normalfag and don't stutter, be nervous, act clumsy. look up the stupid questions they ask, like "why this company "what do you think about diversity in the workforce" or whatever the fuck they ask these days. i heard they look up your name on google to see if you check up on your private life, but i'm not sure. just don't be yourself.

make everything sound positive, tell them what they want to hear.

basically everything autists aren't

they'll ask you about a time you had to solve a problem. make up a story and rehearse it well.

I would guess "autist with no social skills" and "empathy" & "can you read people well" aren't compatible.

I'd like to think I've gotten a lot better than when I was younger. But I've never had a job where I've needed to interact with people before, so I can't say I am.


I don't use faceberg or anything, all I find is lawyers and dentists and shit in other states with similar names when I google me.


ty

Are you a naturally anxious person?

Just be calm and polite.

Kinda.


ez

Maybe I'm not autistic.
Still can't socialize for shit, nor do I care to.
sage for blogpost

So my buddy just texted me. His manager wants to know when I can start at that Dunkin Donuts. Even if I fuck up this interview I still have another guaranteed job. Makes me a lot less anxious with this interview.

thanks Holla Forums

This is probably going to be hard as fuck for you (I know it is for me whenever I go to an interview) but make eye contact.
The interviewer will think you're a bitch and/or rude and not terribly interested in the job if you stare at the floor the whole time you're talking to them, while making eye contact lets them know you're actually paying attention.
I noticed that doing that alone improved the reactions I would get. Obviously that's not the only thing you should do, but I know making eye contact at all can be hard as fuck for autists and is probably one of the first things you should work on.

Tell them the truth! Tell them of your pedophilla, your autism, and your secret desire to be popular. Prospective employers LOVE that shit!

find a skill union dealy that will train you they won't care if you're an autist like electrician/plumbing/pipe fitting/glazing/carpentry

also if you've been doxxed by sjws on the internet they won't care because skill based as long as you're good with your hands

good luck autist

Autists have to be on their schedule. So a job that requires you to work at different hours or interfers with their routine fucks their shit up.
Worked with spergs and they can't handle it.

I do nothing but sit around the house and play vidya. It makes me want to kill myself. I'd work whatever hours they give me, no problem. I'd prefer to work holidays too, ez holiday pay.

So I'm going to the interview now. Hope I don't fuck up.

Kek. I don't know OP, I think that assuming you'll be hired can do a lot of good things. Tell yourself you're awesome, get mad at your insecurities, actually tell them to fuck off. Truly believe what you say, be stubborn.

Take a shower
Wear clean clothes
Brush teeth
Wear deodorant
Make eye contact
Sound glad to be there

That's pleb-tier m8. When you have someone's undivided attention, what better opportunity to talk about how Hitler did nothing wrong and the oven-dodgers have it coming.

Don't listen to this user, OP.

DON'T shower
Wear dirty clothes
Never brush your teeth
Deodorant is for cucks
CONSTANTLY make eye contact
Make sure to let them know how much you dread being there

So I got the job. But the manager chick kept saying "but you need to smile." That shit weirded me the fuck out. And they want me to work Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving is my birthday.

Don't wear slacks that are too tight. If the interviewer is a female you might get an erection.

I went in wearing a tee shirt and basketball shorts. I was interviewing to be a dishwasher, not a teacher. Also the manager was female, but a goblin. No bloodflow at all down there.

Set up a kikebook solely for work, shit like that is important nowadays since normalfags seem to have forgotten about e-mails.

Make good eye contact. When a man shakes your hand make sure it is firm. If a woman shakes your hand be gentle. Laugh and smile at any stupid jokes the interviewer says. Don't say too much. Don't reveal personal information about yourself that you don't have to. Use a formal tone. Say "sir" or "ma'am". Don't forget "please" and "thank you." Dress in clean clothes and groom yourself.

ha ha wageslave

Good job user. You just have to fake happy a little harder. Smile when people want you to smile and laugh at their unfunny shit jokes. You'll do just fine bud

That hurts ten times harder than their shit jokes.

I have to do it every day user. It hurts less and less as time goes on until one day you won't even feel anything and it'll happen naturally. You'll be okay in the end.

If this post wouldn't be on Holla Forums but on some shitty tips 'n trick site for job interviews, then someone might buy that.

*I'd be that guy.*

...

Hey, I know what your problem is! You're not happy enough! Smile harder!