Questionable Malcontent - Crippling Magnet Addiction Edition

Full tumblr, as if it weren't already.

...

You know, up until now, he's managed to avoid dating his work by not directly referencing current pop culture shit.

Good to know he can sink even lower.

Didn't Menstro and Faye spend the vast majority of this visit in separate rooms? I only remember one instance of physical contact between them. One could argue Martin/Menstro is as good if not better ship material based on this encounter, with that description.

Tell, not show, even when it involves nothing more than two characters standing in the same room.

It appears this dosage wasn't enough.

I could dig it.

QC was originally super, SUPER dated. When it was actually "cool" Arcade Fire was a new hot thing and Homework was the latest Daft Punk album.

But that was when Jeph was actually young and in his early 20's, and actually had an idea what young 20somethings acted like. Now he's rapidly approaching middle age.

Jeph's wealth and self-imposed isolation is a bigger problem than his age. He seems to have no friends outside of industry ladder climbers and thus no longer has any idea how two humans talk to each other. When's the last time he mentioned his Canadian girlfriend? Seems like months.

Indeed. He talks far more frequently about his canine girlfriend, even though that relationship is a one way street.

The guy's basically a millionaire and can't even hold onto a woman of this status.

You're using a visual medium, Jephy boy. Take advantage of it.

IIRC, early strips constantly had the characters referencing then-hip indie bands.

...

Works every time.

What the fuck?

Menstro says she's insecure about her size, right?

Have we ever seen anything that makes her look awkwardly big? Like, damaging door frames when trying to fit through them? Breaking furniture under her considerable weight? Picking up one of those fucking teacups and snapping the handle off?

That's what annoys me about this "comic" (well, many things do but this one has risen to the surface, just now); nothing has any real consequence or discernible reason.
The only way we know Menstro is awkwardly big and that the tranny is actually a tranny is because Jeff says so.

He could literally say each and every one of the characters is a tranny and it would make no difference.

...

Jeph shitting on better, more successful artists again.

I don't even get what this is about. Some Italian illustrator shows Frank a racy thing he drew and somehow Cho needs to be blacklisted from the industry. And spearheading this movement are the Mary Sue, who employed and protected rapist Devin Faraci.

What else do you guys think Jef does with his spare time?

fantasize about murdering Scott Adams and Frank Cho.

No, you're being paid $3,000/month to put up two strips per week. You're struggling to upload three per month and many of these are clearly hasily drawn filler.

Well, it is to Patreon supporters. The whole point of the platform is to compensate commissions, not to provide a living wage slush fund. Beyond that, breaking schedule is unprofessional, especially when ample resources are available.

That changed with Patreon, Jeph. You don't get an extra $120k/yr with no strings attached. It doesn't work like that. Even if the complainers don't contribute directly, they see the cash flow.

I can't be arsed to read Patreon's ToS but I'm pretty sure this is untrue or at least against the spirit of the service.

How do you know that? You said this started from a YouTube comment. How do you map a YouTube comment from a current or past Patreon supporter?

The worst part is how this doesn't turn his audience off. It'd be better to not say anything at all. All this does is plant the seed that Jeph isn't living up to his end of the bargain, and it makes him look childish. But who am I to say? The thing just goes up and up. Ridiculous.

I work for a business that produces an ad-supported product. We treat customer complaints just like any other company would. The idea of using an official communication channel to lambaste the customer base is unfathomable. It's just bad business to behave this way. Jeph is the luckiest guy in the planet and he has no idea. It's ironic; he'd be the first to tell someone else to check their privilege.

"Customer" being the end user, not advertiser, if that wasn't clear. Of course we listen to advertisers but the product has to be palatable to the end user, too, even if they're not directly paying for it.

...

wait, he did this?

yeah man it's fucked up

Jeph reluctantly posts a strip for ungrateful plebs.

yeh, in my sleepiness I misread it for some reason as he himself was drawing lewds of his dog to justify it. Similar to what Chrischan did back in the day.

No, but in the tweet capped here, , Handstab explicitly mentions pets and the phrasing is enough of a challenge that one could almost think he is trying to socially engineer Frank to draw an outrageous picture of Jeff's own pet.

I may be over thinking it

QC has become so uninteresting that Jeph's braindead tweets prompt more responses.

He's so creatively bankrupt he's outright ripping off the edits now. Taking all bets, how long till he just starts posting the edits wholesale?

Why not? They're funnier than anything he could produce. Even the lowest quality and laziest edit is an improvement on Jeph's "humor".

Maybe if we meme hard enough we can get him to draw something to irrevocably alienate his tumblr fanbase.

Imagine how sad Jeph's life must be if he spends his spare time ineffectually shitting on people with more artistic talent than he'll ever have.

Too true.

The worst thing about this comic isn't the rip off, it's that he does nothing with it. The whole joke is "Hey guys, what if Eldritch booze existed!" There's no punchline here nothing is done with this concept. It's just, this exists and characters are unsettled. The end.

pic related.

You think so? I'd be satisfied if we could just get another stabbening.

Start with edits which are funnier and more interesting than the comic itself (trivial). The trick is to make them align somewhat with what the comic is, or maybe was. The eldritch angle is good because it's sort of "in" now with hipsters. The tranny, robots, or his "hard scifi" might be another good angle. Then we use that hook to slowly try to pull him towards something unforgivable. Like a tacit endorsement of an untouchable like Lovecraft. Or an exploration of a dangerous idea like transhumanism in a manner which could be interpreted as support for eugenics.

I mean, something as stupid as a "It's elderich runeshine!" punchline would be an improvement.

Also, talk about dated, a Tool reference. You probably have to be pushing 40 to get that. I mean there's no inherent problem with that but Jeph's pretending everyone, including himself, is still 22.

Plus, he's already used this gag.

Oh, hey, that's right. Marten was the main character! And, and he had dreams, goals he was aspiring to… with his band! He had a band! Now I remember.

tbh fam he did it better the first time round. One of the few instances where making a gif strip has actually worked in a webcomic. Although even then it could probably do with being faster for comic effect.

Gee, I wonder why I got blocked…

Whoa, you're right…characters had motivations? They learned new skills and practiced their craft? Wow! It's funny how the QC universe follows Jeph's motivation and then apathy. It's not a character that's the Mary Sue. It's the very universe.

Not to defend Jeph but there are technical limitations with animated GIFs in that there is no defined minimum time period. If you go below a certain number (I forget), support gets janky. Even with this strip I remember variable rates depending on browser, e.g. once upon a time I didn't get the joke because she tapped once or twice a second in the Firefox of 2011.

Wow! His characters sure do behave in a quirky and unusual manner!

technically, they are still touring for a record that came out a decade ago. does Ozzfest still exist? I'm pretty sure they play that if it does.

Holy fuck that tall retard is copy pasted.

Tool, the only fucking band he knows.
And I imagine how that artist looks now. Like an edgy fat tool. Haha get it. "Tool".

hey he also knows mogwai and uh…. jeph knows two friggin bands!

What a shit taste in music.

no wonder he likes them

The Tool reference was already dated, 5+ years ago! It's like talking about the Spice Girls or Vengaboys. Actually, I think Spice Girls and Vengaboys are more current!

Only because Spice Girls are trying to make a comeback.

I can only wonder why he never invented bands that only exist in QC. It would be easy to invent a handful of groups for each genre and use those instead of dating his work the way he does.

I think he wanted the music hipster audience at that point, so he name dropped a bunch to get their attention. Basically virtue signalling except with "obscure" music instead of how much of a conformist cuck he is. It's a consistent pattern.

They made a Vengaboys joke on the News Quiz on Radio 4 last week.

I laughed.

Don't be a tool and spice up your life with this old lady.

Gave me a flash of inspiration and I decided to check out #1488. The punchline is Germany, other than that I'm dissapointed in KEK.

Looking at it I noticed that he has "TEH" on his shirt. It's the same shirt as in #1988. I've seen it before, but never noticed it. Does he ever change clothes? Do any of Handstab's characters? Why TEH?

I think it's established somewhere that he has two of those shirts. It's (((ironic))).

I only follow these threads to see if there's new art of the tranny

Is he really so far gone that he's forgotten that people like to look at sexy things?

I think there's a strip where it's revealed he has a closet full of them.

Probably want to check cuckchan. They like >her unironically.

I completely forgot that incestous coffeemaker is supposed to be natural blonde.

Your mistake is thinking anyone takes "music fans" seriously, especially when they actually talk about such a thing as if it's important.

I sure do miss Twitter Bully.

You can't just replace a bottle of liquor with a fistful of pills and call it "sober".

He was bragging about the excess Vicodin he scored as a result of his ear surgery.

Better than a fistful of stab wounds, I suppose.

with jeph I'd take the stab wounds

Remember when this character kinda looked promising? And the naysayers saying to just wait for the Hannelore 2.0 treatment?

Jeph has a tendency to take $40 steak characters and smother them in ketchup and A1 quirks.

is that how he stabbed himself in the hand?

with a steak knife?

...

This made me laugh but then I remembered that there are actually people out there who like their steaks this way. Then I felt sad and kind of mad.

You made me hungry… then IMMEDIATELY destroyed that appetite. Plus you did it without any gore. 10/10.

...

Even tumblr has better taste than you, faggot.

This one has more detail.

...

I realize it's a troll but restaurants unironically believe the text under "medium". Of course they're also trying to disguise the poor quality "prime" meat they're serving which is why they "forget" you told them to keep the fucking gallon of honey maple mustard roasted red pepper bearnaise sauce away from it.

I once agreed with this picture, but a few months ago I had a chance to eat a steak tartare, and it changed my outlook on the world.
I have still not had a chance to eat a steak less cooked than "medium", but I would be willing to give it a try. Though I hate the texture that raw meat has, so I probably won't much like Rare and Blue Rare anyway.

Can't you just buy meat and cook it yourself? What's stopping you from experimenting in your own kitchen?

I always order it a shade lighter than what I want, taking into account that it's still cooking when it leaves the kitchen.

Man, I really want beef wellingtons now. fucking 420chan Holla Forums Taimatube keep playing Gordon Ramsey, I think they've got the munchies, lol.

lack of cooking skills

Are you retarded?

Dude, I don't trust myself. I don't want to eat shitty 3$ meat that came from the farmers dog, and I don't want to waste good, expensive meat because I'm too stupid to flip the steak.

He seems to have lost 30% of his entire body mass by putting on that jacket.

Well done really depends on who cooks it and actually takes a modicum of skill to be done properly good, but medium and medium well is how you really should be eating your steaks

I guess raw stakes are like extra hot dishes or most alcohols. They are disgusting, but people eat them just to prove their superiority, until the point where they start fetishizing the pain.

...

It's ironic how you're holding yourself as smugly superior while ranting about others doing the same.
Also medium-rare is really good if you cook it right.
Medium is best though.

The only truly disgusting kind is rare, where the cook pretty much just throws each side on the grill for a minute or two.
It doesn't give any spices he throws on it enough time to absorb into the meat, and the texture always winds up being like a cross between chewing gum and snot.

It's kinda hard to fuck up a steak. If the temperature is too hot the fat will splatter and there'll be a lot of noise. If it's too cold it won't sizzle. Beyond that, unless you're super picky there's an enormous "edible range" between rare-ish and just before it starts getting well done. If it's a little dry then there's no shame in sauce or gravy; you're still learning.

Oh boy, it's the kid who hates drinking again.

Found the fucking pansy.

There is a limit, though. I've had numerous dishes ruined because people who are proud of their spice tolerance like to drown it in the spiciest sauce or use the hottest peppers without concern for the flavor as a whole. Just because it's super spicy doesn't mean that it's good. You have bring out the other flavors in order to balance an extremely spicy dish so that the spiciness doesn't overwhelm everything else.

That's dumb. Anyone who likes spicy food realizes that there'll be only one or two other people in the group who can tolerate the heat. Depends on what you're making but it usually isn't that big of a deal to make two batches or keep the spicy sauce or whatever on the side.

filename

FINALLY

Nigga

FUCK
YES

This meme is NOT AT ALL played out!! The thread is perfect now that you've posted it. Amazing.

at least steven universe is relevant

where are the edits m80s

Get fucked a by ten ton truck ramming your asshole at a steady 100 mph

in the Black Lodge, with the Good Dale Clit.

You know, I don't care about transsexuals. Or people who like traps. Or people who think that somehow, gender isn't a biological thing. I really give no fucks.

No, what bothers me is that they think I don't have a right to disagree with them. They think their opinion makes them superior. They think I'm human garbage because I say boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. And for that reason, I can't fucking stand them.

I think that's how most people feel.

Ingredients and tools for a good steak:

Fresh steak, 1½ inch thick (get a really tasty cut like filet mignon, it's harder to fuck up)
Frying pan
Some sort of non-stick substance (I use PAM)
BBQ sauce
Tongs
Oven
Plate
Fork
Steak knife

Put the frying pan on a heating element, slather the non-stick substance inside, then turn on the element. Heat should be below medium. Put the steak in it, let it sit in the pan for several minutes. DO NOT KEEP FLIPPING IT OVER AND OVER.

After 5-7 minutes, flip it. Put a teaspoon sized gob of BBQ sauce on the steak and spread it over the surface. Wait 4-5 minutes. Turn off the heating element, put steak in plate, eat and enjoy.

Recommended side dish is potatoes.

Also, Gordon Ramsay made this nice video.

What is the oven for?

Any merchants who try and slather your steak in ketchup.

So you have a heating element.

A hot plate would be fine as well, though it's usually harder to control the heat output on those.

...

...

Jeph doesn't understand what the US Constitution is for, does he?

He probably means the Canadian constitution where you can put just about anything in, including, soon, personal pronoun mandates.

"Anecdotal" is just a word retards use to reject evidence. All evidence is anecdotal until you have enough of it.

Asking when evidence becomes empirical is like asking how many grains of sand you need to get a pile.

This is all anecdotal evidence based on the feelings of people of questionable mental soundness. There is nothing empirical to back it up.

See how easily shit can be turned around on you when you say retarded things, Jeph?

The answer to both questions is not "how many" but "how do they relate". If you can get evidence that supports evidence, it becomes imperical, just like how you only need 4 grains of sand to make a stable pile.

That would be my point, yes. They consider all evidence anecdotal, no matter how much you pile up.

panel 2, jesus christ

Oh, Jeph, you dishonest virtue signaler you.

I don't know where to begin with how fucked up the scale is in this comic.

...

It's a new form of community service for Minorities. Being Token friends to fucked up weirdos so they don't kill themselves or others and inflate up the national suicide/homicide rates.

...

You can't just pile up anecdotal evidence to get data. Anecdotes have biases that may not be accounted for, like dramatisation, selection biases, etc. Especially for large reference classes, it's easy to get a mountain of anecdotal evidence that contradicts the actual facts.

Consider crime. Because of increases in connectivity and media focus on blue collar crime, decades of anecdotal evidence lead many people to believe that crime rates have increased since the '80s. To get empirical evidence you need to be transparent about the way you acquire data, and do so systematically in a way that minimises the possibility of human data-filtering biases.

I've got your anecdote right here.

Oh handstab, you do spoil us.

Right.

I get that Jeph was looking for a way to positively spin her autism, but this makes it look like he read about it on Wikipedia and picked out a big word to impress people.

Next we get to see the taciturn character behaving stalwartly.

… Well, we all have our downsides, time to unzip!

Duuuude it's so glaringly obvious that Handstab is building up towards a Big Chad and Autistic Iraqi Patty ship.

Still, it's gonna make a better love story than trannyfuck.

And Clit will of course be cucked.
I wonder if Clit and the tranny both represent aspects of Jeph?

What am I saying, of course they do!

how much do you wanna bet JJ forgot that he was originally setting up IPP and clit to be a thing

or you can just wait for someone else to draw a better version user.

Not at all, actually. Clit is a self insert, just like Marten was, just like Claire is. Jeph doesn't want to be happy, not even in his own made up fantasy world where no one can judge him. Cucking Clit is just another form of self harm.

You offering? If so I shall gladly accept it!

Better yet, we'll get an awkward, drawn out love triangle that ends when Brun says that it's stupid, resulting in a three way relationship that allows Clinton to discover just how much he likes cock.

Apparently his enumeration accidentally jumped back 100 places. I checked, and the new enumeration continues:

Good Lord Christ Jesus… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH JEPH!? This is a level of not giving a fuck never before seen before. A black who would collapse do to the amount of fucks NOT given. THIS MAN GETS PAID MORE THAN YOUR AVERAGE NURSE!

Nah nah, Brun will turn out to be aromatic or whatever it is tumblr girls call themselves and there will be a brief violent schism in his fanbase over whether it is or is not stereotypical for the autistic character to be a sexless block of wood.

Hahaha holy shit he really did it

At this point he's testing how lazy he can get without compromising his patreonbux. He wants to do as little as possible and be rewarded for it.

Jeph Jacques is an anti-artist.

meme magic can be a tachyonic antitelephone if it wants to.

...

Kek

I'm surprised you managed to work a decent edit out of that nothing of a strip.

STREAK BROKEN BABY

...

that face always comes out so damn pixelated and awkward when I rotate it. Does anyone have a high-res version that I can make better edits with?

the fuck are you editing with?

...

GIMP
Normally it does a good job with plain scaling, but rotating is awkward. It doesn't help that the face pic I use is low-res to begin with, making it worse.
If I just scale the face, it still looks decent, but if I rotate it after scaling it, it looks like pixellated garbage.

huh.

best version I've got is from the strip it came from.

Just get that CSI picture enhancement software that they use to turn 12x12 pixel faces into high definition masterpieces.

GIMP is really stupid and doesn't understand it needs to set RGB color for you when you do something like that.

Let's Enhance.

If you zoom in far enough, you can see all his past mistakes reflected in his eyes.

You know, once I zoomed in, I realized that the shadow of the picture behind him is visible in the whites of his eyes.

Reminder that deep dream generator is a thing.

If you look close at his chin on the second one you can almost see Harambe.

Thanks for the tip, I'll try that the next time I do an edit

And thank you for the new high-res face

I think I went too deep

Why does he look so much like Aiden Gillen in this one? Did you dig so deep that you hit /bane/ on your way down?

Here's one a lot less big but a lot less lossy.

Dr. Pavel, I'm TEH.

All I did was put a B^U on menstral blood.

An edit's an edit.

HAH
Also I want to start a thing where we say "Stab the other one." I don't know the context yet, but it's like "Pull the other one" from montey python, though maybe it'd be more like a dreadful turn of events or something.

Did we go back in time to the exact point where we created an exploitable IT'S DONE face?

...

Yes.

Now THIS is more like it! Finally something is happening! Well, not really, since there has been no buildup what so ever and thus we have no investment in the story or any of the characters. Now perhaps we'll at last be getting at least a little exposition and depth fat chance, and we have one less completely uninteresting character to worry about Is that a bone sticking out of her in the big panel?.

This is also a good opportunity to point out that if you're actually desperate enough to look for waifus in Jeph Jaques material (or at all, for that matter), Gavia is the way to go, not that autistic arab bitch.

Gavia is the pale redeyed girl, btw. I had to look up her name, since none of Handstab's characters leave much of an impression.

I'll add one more thing, and perhaps a drawfag can explain if I'm mistaken here, but the proportions seem odd to me. Gavia's right foot seem to be hovering over the ground, and before I read it I thought the thing everyone seemed so upset over was that she had grown to be 40m tall and stomped on someone.

I'll add one more thing, and perhaps a drawfag can explain if I'm mistaken here, but the proportions seem odd to me. Gavia's right foot seem to be hovering over the ground, and before I read it I thought the thing everyone seemed so upset over was that she had grown to be 40m tall and stomped on someone (the body in front of her).

So Jeph really does watch RWBY and is shamelessly copying it.

...

...

This scene went from 0-100 in no time, and not in the good way where the tension comes out of nowhere, but in the "did I miss 5 pages of story" way that leaves several questions unanswered. These questions include:

How did brown chick get away from the big guy if there's such a huge difference in their strength and speed?

What was the pretence? Did he ever act like anything other than a creep with a hidden agenda?

What is she apologizing for? Getting rekt?

Chapter 5!? He hasn't written enough story for one chapter, let alone 5.

If brown chick just arrived, why are several characters already outside?

Why is there a pipe next to her arm?

Did her arm get torn off or not?

is painanon back yet?

I think he got sick and died or something.

I know he was sick, don't know from what but he isn't dead.
I really hope he isn't dead

The pipe is in her arm and she, the blond giant, brought it to the fight.

But, yeah, makes you wonder why he's writing filler strips about getting drunk in a bar when he could spread out the action over 5 strips.

Oh, I know why. He can't draw anything other than stationary characters.

Sure would be nice if Jeph gave these people some characterization so that this scene would have any gravity whatsoever. Quick, name one attribute of the giant blond woman! Name anything at all about the giant with heterochromia!

Who died? All these characters are so forgettable that I'm not sure what's going on. Who's E-Ellie?

I forgot about this trainwreck project.

Jesus Christ
At least spell it Marten

Oh Germany

Are they talking about Merkel?

We're voting for him because we want that, ya dingus.

She's a big guy.

Hitler is turning in his grave over the shit pile Germany became.

Hopefully trump gives me Erika.

...

Germany was always shit, Hitler just made it better for a little while and then it went back to being shit.

Well fuck Germany in general then!

you reek of faggot, please leave

who could be behind this post?

Remember when it looked like brown derp face wasn't really going to work at the fucking coffee shop? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

no.

no

...

those trips are fucking divine

Someone who hates incompetence from any country. Someone who can admire the few groups of people that made countries strong for only a little bit and tried to eradicate the one true menace society faces.

You sound like an edgy kid or a jew, get out.

Why not both?

what happened to the Dumping of Gays threads anyway?

did the well dry up? Even I don't know.

Really pulling at straws, huh, cuckchanfag?

The phrase is grasping at straws, which tells me you aren't old enough to know how to look up the phrases you want to use. Now sod off. Polite sage for off topic.

How lonely are you, user? Who hurt you?

why am I not surprised, it's actually both.

Oh boy oh boy it's this again. This place really has been plagued by cuckchanners today. If only we had some actual mods here to get rid of you shitposters.

>THE JEWS

this is a great thread about that guy who stabbed himself in the hand and draws terrible and unfunny webcomics.

Maybe he's here trying to distract people from his awful comic.

...

Where is the edits lads?
Where is edits?

the latest strip is not exploitable enough, and the Comet Ping Pong Pizza logo is kinda lame.

checked

The derailers have been out in full force this weekend, and it seems that not even my home thread is safe. The cucks must be more frightened of The Don's potential victory than they want people to think.

CTR out in full force.

>not praying trump wins

lol

I miss Editfag

Editfags sprawling continuity was nice, and I do miss it, but, Lasagnafags hidden little touches in every edit are a lot of fun. It really take a lot of the sting out of Editfags departure/ possible demise.

Yeah, it's really confusing, and it took me a while to understand it too. Here's the answer to your questions.
She didn't, he just turned his attention to the butch woman who hit him with a pipe.

Willis thinks he can build suspense.

Pretty much. Her one job was to destroy the car, and she fucked up.

Clearly you just hate womyn.

She didn't just arrive. She screamed when her shoulder got hurt.

The butch chick tried to attack him with it, but he grabbed it and hit her back.

No. That's not her arm, that's the dead body of the butch lesbian as if not everyone is a butch lesbian in this who attacked him.

The blonde, giant, butch lesbian died. From context, I assume she's E-Ellie.

Yeah, how is tolerance working out for you, Germany?

That's an edit. The only one who's ever said that is ¡Jeb!.

Minor corrections:

Her job presumably was to do it without attracting attention.

And thereby attracted the attention of the other protagonists, who came to her aid.

Threadly reminder.

SHUT UP AND BANG ALREADY

I wonder what happened to him. I hope he didn't actually die.

It's just kinda sad that nobody managed to pick up where he left off. I would do it, but I lack talent in writing.

We had like 5 Editfag Jrs taking turns but they too caught the cancer and died.

Alice and the other two are tree people like in Trigun. I'm calling it now and Jeph is a fucking hack so I'm probably right.

But he emo chick and blue boy are supposed to be the mysterious space people. If he has an entirely seperate group of even more special space people, then his already confusing comic will lack direction worse than it already does.

the problem with editing QC on a regular basis is having to live in Jeph's head. or at least set up shop there for a little while, instead of just checking in with the comic to see what he shat out today.

at least if you want to have any consistency or ongoing storyline or mythos. and then if you start creating a complicated mythos that ties together QC, Alice Grove, robots, indescribable eldritch horrors from nameless aeons past and lasagna, do you really want to give it to some asshole like jeph?

...

Here.

I imagine he misses us, as well.

This is great

I love how these people gaslight and poison the well even against their own supporters.

...

uuh, guys?
okcupid.com/profile/scarletmarie18?cf=regular,matchsearch

Zoe Quinn is Jeb?

If Trump wins I hope people tweet at Jeph thanking him for the inspiration to vote for him.

Explain.

...

You can't just disagree anymore. Everything has to be Hitler and a robotic Kahless the Merciless vs Abraham Lincoln and Surak of Vulcan. And these dumb motherfuckers wonder why Trump is getting so much traction.

When did Trump become a woman?

My alternative posting text was "sumitted without comment" due to Brun's "too sexy" midriff.

...

jeph, you can draw chad from the front but you can't stop me from taking a stab at this anyway.

Fuck it. Maybe Jerf is brilliantly trolling us all and he's setting Hannelore up to cuck both Big Chad and Clit.

As if this fucking webcomic needs more alternative romantic relationships, jeez.

And Sven, he was building up Sve/ Hannelore a while ago. Of course even if he wasn't planning to stick the two crazy characters into a relationship together before you just know the freaks in his fandom are going to convince him to after this.

Amazing how Chad gets aroused by the least erotic suggestions.
Just as well we have an official nigger from the Ministry of SocJus to keep his thoughts pure!

And I dunno about you lot but where I live if a girl has her hair pulled up on top of her head like that it usually looks a fucking mess and they are always, and I mean *always*, absolute fucking weirdos.

Maybe he's several weeks into a nofap challenge?

...

I'm actually pretty sure *none* of the males in this bullshit ever jerk off.
They'd be too afraid they might objectify women if they did.

Then why don't they just think of floor tiles or Ohio?

I just had the thought now that every other character is an imaginary friend.
Faye and marten are obviously real, and bubbles was probably created as a very small attempt, maybe a childhood friend, and he even used an immature way to give him some kind of backstory, stating that he has a military grade chassis and then imagined the military coming and fighting them for it, even though that's not what MG means. Faye and marten broke up at some point, and faye created this imaginary robot fighting ring as any tomboy would, and became close to a female robot friend. Marten instead made up a new character that defines him as he gets older; Clair is the idea that marten had of a guy who didn't know what he was so he pretended he was a girl, and upon clair being striped before him, he mentions that he is beautiful, showing a biased mentality to his creation. As Faye was more of a boy than a girl sometimes, it also makes sense that marten would create something that was some sort of idea born out of that, since people tend to similar relationships through their life, and so he had probably thought of the opposite or a twist on what faye's mentality meant. Faye bought herself a pie, acting like she was being investigated by another figment, and had her imaginary friend beat up that figment.
All of these things point to the fact that half or more than the cast of QC is actually an idea some child made up.

...

Trump is currently leading and the media is projecting him to win. I wonder how Jeph will convey his sadness at the victory of bigotry. Maybe another stab in the hand after all this time?

Florida is fucking trump's guaranteed
He's gonna win.
I can almost hear the hounds.

MAKE THE OTHER ONE STABBED AGAIN

If he hadn't moved to Canada then he would be influenced by the God Emperor's light and this shitty comic would actually become good.

His own name is a stabbing word

Progressives are bad at math. That's what you get with Gender Studies and Communications degrees.

Oh yeah, there's this thing, too.

I can't fucking wait for the salt when Trump wins.

Social media is already gold.

...

If you had told me a year ago that come November 2016 I'd be voting Donald Trump into the Oval Office, I would have scoffed. I was a different man then. A less energetic man.

Current Year+1 has turned out to be a wilder ride than I ever could have imagined.

Jesus Christ I've never become so erect so quicky.

How many more filler pages are we going to get that reinforce Brun's clock fetish?

RIP lasagnafag

The most ridiculous fucking year by far.

Year theme

Progressives on suicide watch.

...

America is now confirmed for great again

And, soon, Supreme Court.

...

Remember when this comic had a normal guy in it called Steve?

I bet he would have voted Trump.

Come to think of it, Steve seems to be the only one who doesn't have a debilitating problem and he's a super spy. Does being of sound mind and body make you a badass by default in the QCverse?

I wonder if/when Jeph will admit that he played everyone for this long.

If this was true and it was all an elaborate ruse i would vote for jeph as canadian joshua goldberg

He probably left because all the random, wacky, zaniness of the cast was simply tooooo much.

He got recruited onto Trump's Secret Service in order to thwart Hillary's assassins.

Wow, I don't remember Steve dating or whatever a prototype Padma.

Also, while stupid, the wackiness this thing used to have is infinitely preferable to the dead banalty it's been since the second handstab or even since The Breakup. Pintsize with rockets and lasers, the Vespavenger, and Pizza Girl give at least some charm and identity to the strip.

QC is like Garfield for aging Gen Xers and young Boomers who are pretending to be millennials.

No, it's because you already moved to Canada. Speaking of which, I can't wait for the Trump/Trudeau meeting.

Yes, Jeph, the right wing death squads are real.

This bigot left the Q out of LGBTQ+. Hope she gets run off the internet and her dog dies.

I guess this is the closest Jeph will ever get to realizing he's a rich, out of touch, ivory tower pseudo-intellectual and that all his "friends" are, too.

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE
Did nobody else notice how the scene jumped from drum kit to couch between sentences?!

no one oppresses quite so thoroughly as a social justice fucknut

Someone less elbow deep in work than me should start a cartoonist cry thread. Documenting the stages of grief these idiots are going through.

If you'll notice the amp near Marten in the first panel, it has an orange area on it. In panel three, it's on the opposite side. One can conclude that the couch rests on the wall to the right (using their perspective here) of their practice area.

Still, they got off their instruments, walked over to the couch, and continued the conversation all in the margin between those two panels, yet the way it's structured makes it seem like it was an unbroken conversation. Why the fuck does he suck so bad at transitions/pacing?

Jeph's peers aren't any funnier than he is.

Dora has yet another new design.

What's with the fourth panel? It feels like I'm missing a few sentences of expository text and another shot of orange wall. Instead I get a flashback. Tell, don't show, Jeph. brb pulling my Patreon shekels.

His ripping off of editfag's work grows more blatant by the day.

Those are some derpy looking skulls.

Has he completely forgotten that in the timeline it was winter, with snow and everything, less than 24 hours ago…?

What do you think?

Is it just an autistic thing or what?

I also like clocks.

Opening up a big spring wound clock and just watching it operate is incredibly soothing.

...

They're nice mechanisms. I know a lot of people far from autism who enjoy watching the clockwork happening.

You can go a level deeper, checkout clickspring on youtube. Soothing videos on how to make a clock machining all the parts yourself.

submitted without comment

...

uh
this is
Okay this is like when ACDC cried really hard at joseph in Battle Tendency and then gained his composure immediately after. It's played so straight, I don't think I understand at all.
Did he break? If we can't break the hand, we brake the mind, this is true, but it was so abrupt.

His mind already has the brakes on. I don't think we can stop him from thinking any more than he already does.

...

Reminder: transgender is not a mental illness.

Oh boy, I can't wait to see the Trump comic.

How hard is it to look at yourself objectively?

...

Fuck it, I have no shame so I'll ask:
Any drawfags willing to redraw this in a better style, possibly HD, so satisfy my horrid lust for the blue robot?

...

I'd say these people have the emotional maturity of children, but that's an insult to children.

I know I never did that shit when I was a kid.

Self image isn't entirely malleable. The fact that your self-image matches your real self is a developmental coincidence enforced by evolution. Occasionally that fails, causing the mental illnesses/conditions of gender dysphoria, body dysmorphic disorders, body integrity identity disorders, etc.

For example, you couldn't handle yourself if you had two extra, fully functional arms. Even if you somehow had the neurological hardware necessary for controlling them and interpreting their senses (which is the case for gender dysphoria, because all sexual organs have analogues between the sexes), they still wouldn't be part of your self image, according to psychology.

So, allegedly, it is pretty much impossible to just look at yourself objectively, and people without gender dysphoria are in the fortunate situation that their gender self image is correct regardless. People with gender dysphoria either have to learn to live in a body their brain is telling them to be wrong, or have to go through treatments to get their body to match their self-image.

For many others, though, especially the kind you see on facebook, your question has the more obvious answer: they can't bear to face reality because their reality sucks. They've disappointed themselves and their families, they have the original sin of being (white) males and will always deserve lower status in the eyes of themselves and their peer group because of it, etc. When they look at themselves, they feel disgust similar to what people with gender dysphoria feel, except it isn't because of a neurological developmental error, but because of deeply internalised self-loathing.

I want to make shit edits out of his stuff, but all the latest comics are so featureless and unexploitable.

...

I would draw some more of her if I wasn't such a lazy fucking cunt tbh fam.

More brilliance

I thought he'd at least have the decency to not start the week with the continuation of an unfunny filler gag.

...

$9000 PER MONTH
9
0
0
0

P
E
R

M
O
N
T
H

And it only gets worse.

...

He used to be something like #13

I posit it's quite the opposite: your behavior and insecurity proves your lack of worth.

...

lol

Or you could tell them they're freaking out over nothing and to pull themselves together.

Homework assignment: find me a statement from Trump to the effect of "whites are the master race". Take as long as you like.

"Gas the kikes, race war now." - Donald J. Trump

"As reported by CNN"

World's shittiest exposition

Plus whatever the hell this is

Paint bucket fail on the shoes

...

Stop upstaging Jeph.

If jeph came to you and offered you $2500/month to write his comic for him, would you take the offer?

You can also choose the option to draw his comic if you wish, for the same amount. This hypothetical Jeph is outsourcing both jobs

Oh no, now Emily's starting to get thicker and larger. She's falling victim to the fat curse.

Another 5 or 6 months (about 2 days in-universe) and she'll be approaching Faye levels of bloatedness.

I'd take $1k for myself and use the other $1.5k to pay baggypants-user to draw the comic.

I guess. Hope he doesn't mind it having absolutely nothing to do with retarded hipsters anymore.

presumably this would also involve access to all of his photoshop/illustrator/manga studio pro/whatever files, so there would be a period of time where it would just look like he was getting even lazier for a few months before the art style would have to start to change.

At $1500/month, he wouldn't even be making as much as full time minimum wage. $30,000/year to make this schlock seems pretty reasonable, especially since you'd have leftover time for otber projects.

I wonder how memey a literal cut/paste version of this comic would be. Would hunting through the archives to see where you got a thing make this comic fun again?

...

It's been a cut/paste comic for years on end, fam.

But this isn't even a full time job, at least not how it's done: cut 'n paste, once over line work, and primary color paint bucket filling. On the other hand, assuming one were to draw all 260 scheduled yearly comics–that is no guest weeks or filler art–$30k would translate to $115 per comic, which is probably the lowest conceivable amount before you start encountering labor that flakes out because you're not paying them enough. Even at $30k/yr I'd expect a significant quality improvement, though.

Jeph can budget far more than $30k/yr. If he were anything of a business man he would have jettisoned QC years ago to focus on Alice Grove, Deathmole, or some other project. If he had a passion for the work and didn't want to let go, that'd be one thing, but he clearly hasn't given a shit for about half a decade and is being cheap instead of focusing on lifestyle improvements with his riches.

...

...

When do people lose interest in this woman? I don't get it. Her 15 minutes were up two years ago.

Wait, I thought this franchise was about making fun of LGBBQ stereotypes by using outlandish situations. Was I wrong?

In case any of you had an appetite.

I can't wait to see the blatant lies told in order to spin her story in a positive light.

Best case scenerio: A higher public profile causes mainstream interest in her dirt, and she's destroyed by her own hypocrisy.

LOL, Pascal Pictures, home to Amy Pascal who was booted from Sony Pictures for nearly destroying it. Her "accomplishments" thus far include Ghostbusters 2016. Next year she hopes to destroy Spiderman and Barbie as well.

The filename's wrong. I've been there and can safely say it's never been great.

Jokemaster Jeph

And this

Too cheap to pay an Indian $20 on freelancer.com to write a scheduler.

(checked)
This is retarded. Even by NuHannelore's standards, there's no reason to be afraid of eels on the floor of a coffee shop. At least try to invent and never talk about how Hanners is afraid of toilets because they could swim up the pipe or something.

Wow, didn't even notice the pents.

unless you voted for Trump

It probably honestly doesn't occur to him that anyone who voted Trump could read his tweets. His followers are his readers, who are all Good Virtuous People, while Trump voters are invariably hideous evil orcs toiling away in fiery caves where the righteous light of his Twitter cannot reach.

Line tool, paint bucket, and SO MUCH RED. Does he draw this comic in a CAD program? And that dithered gradient. Gotta keep the colors to a minimum!
Also, what an oppressive pose you've chosen to draw Hanners in, Jeffy-boy. Go back to being a good Ally and stick to above the waist shots at a 3/4 angle.

This is what happens when Jeph draws in CAD program.

...

Jeph's friends can't tell jokes, either.

"Marginalized Jeph" bragging again about how he can afford every iteration of every expensive tech gadget.

hardcore rocker talk here

This xirkin likes the eel shit

I don't know anything about techno. Is his answer as pleb-tier as a suspect it is?

I don't even know what techno is anymore. I looked up one of those 1+ hour YouTube collections and it sounds like the same 'ol generic house/trance stuff with choppy vocals. It's funny, all this stuff sounds exactly the same but listeners swear up and down that there are like 40 genres.

The real joke is that Jeph sullies his snob indie rocker image by claiming to like this stuff.

I didn't want to make myself seem like an attention whore by saying that I was autistic, so I pretended it was someone else.

Clocks are pretty neat.

Disregard that, I suck clocks

It always amazes me that humans have reached a point where creating and fitting these tiny pieces of metal together is a complete triviality.

headstab

Wait a second, where did the sword come from?

That fucking pose in the last panel is so unnatural It looks like she's leaning backwards instead of forwards.

It's been a prop since close to the beginning. The emergency bourbon is also a callback.

Christ, it looks so bad in thumbnail form. Spanning nearly 2,000 strips over seven years and the strips are uniform in blandness.

But at least his color choices are simple and easy on your computer. :^)

get fucked that's not how physics work, dip shit.

Imagine my surprise that a music major from what's basically a charter school for adults has no idea how torque and angular momentum work.

Someone's getting banned.

Looks like Dora has to fire Emily and herself now for being drunk at work.

Faye was working competently while these two are dangerous. Totally different.

Jeph posted this last week. Probably the strip he's referring to. I'm looking forward to the explanation that justifies this behavior. Probably "Pintsize farts butts lol".

….or earlier this week. Whatever.

Come to think of it, this "buffer" Jeph's been bragging incessantly about goes back at most two days? And I say "at most" because he said "wrote" not "drew".

Her stance is fine for a forward upward slash. In fact, if she had been drawn swinging upwards instead of downward over the head, the hilt placement in the ceiling would be perfectly fine.

Maybe this ties into his break from Alice Grove - he's been building up the confidence to draw someone frowning at the tranny.

It's amazing how much better this guys art is than jeph's. And this guy sucks.

Jeph's daily meltdown

Yeah, totally unlike XOXO Fest and the rest of your progressive cons.

This is one of the most depressing things I've ever seen. These people are so lonely and aimless they affirm themselves via imaginary conversations with animals.

Mike pence gives the impression of an old-fashioned heartland conservative. Seeing him talk about "selfies" and use selfie sticks always makes me smile.

What? Is it? In what way? What the fuck could Trump win by confusing his transition team? If he's concerned that he wont be able to control them, why not just fire them when he's done? Is he implying that Hitler did the same? I know he purged his ranks in The Night of the Long Knives, but he didn't try to confuse them beforehand, did he? Why the hell am I even taking Jeph seriously enough to ask these questions?

I think you know why.

Long Knives go in hand.

From what I read, it was a pretty rad place once the undesirables were gone.

Imaginary conversations with animals they don't know. Imagine being so lonely you have to project onto someone else's pet.

And so narcissictic they can only conceive of the animals saying how great they are.

Speaking of desperate narcissism

Holy shit this is the worst tension resolution I've ever seen in my entire life. OMG even for Jeph this is absolute trash.

And why does Emily now have the build of a 55 year old post menopausal woman?

...

i don't understand how this man still manages to take one breath after another

He had to nerve himself up to having one of his sacred females, and a lezzy none the less, admitting she had done wrong!

Also, his "broadsword" isn't broad and only 2ft long.
Perhaps drawing his females holding something longer than it is wide was flooding him with uncontrollable levels of masculinity.

Broadswords are just swords that have little taper, they are broad the whole way up until the top with a very drastic taper to the tip. It's actually a pretty vague term that defines a lot of blades without being specific.

That's not a broadsword. It looks like it's twenty inches long and is thin as a rail. It's either a short sword or a long knife.
t. knife and sword owner

No Jeph, this is what a Republic looks like. For real. The current state of affairs is entirely predictable.

Wait, you have this whole thing planned out and it's still this meandering and haphazard?

So in other words, you've added to your workload as you've removed details, cut the number of characters appearing in your strips, and reduced the output of your second comic by 65%. How does this happen?

...

you idiots are missing the point, clearly the only one with a broadsword is Claire

kek

You made a mistake

I swear on me mum. I'll fookin' do it.

I think Claire's dick is a little bigger than that.

I'm so fucked up

1925: Germany is world leader in the natural sciences.
1930s: 'Undesirables' flee Germany, many heading to the USA
1945: USA is world leader in the natural sciences.

It's almost as if the people accused of controlling the fate of nations behind the scenes by manipulating flows of money is predisposed to being intelligent.

And I'm sure the awful economic conditions in post-war Germany had nothing to do with scholars moving overseas.