He did it Holla Forums

My friend has successfully reached the ultimate and final level of fucked. Grab a seat user get ready for the the cuckery of a life time.

My friend is no stranger to having relationships with underaged woman and after a lengthy battle he kept it out of the courts and left her un touched by the courts and free to do as he pleased. (The amount of luck that went into this is insane)

Fast foward a week after the break up, my friend has met a new girl (legal normie age) (A real Stacey) and all is going well, untill the underaged whore rears her ugly head back into the picture revealing all the dirtiest and disgusting secrets he tried to so hard to keep from her so he could ascend out of NEET pedophile hood.

New normie girl explodes and decides my friend is no longer worth it. After 3 months of there short relationship he had grown so normie he actually loved her so deeply and greatly he is considering suicide and she is considering calling the cops to fuck user up even more. God please have mercy.

Should my friend just hero himself. Or wait to see if she calls the cops and try to salvage the relationship? Or leave them both and not deal with them ever again? Is he getting what he deserves? Pic Unrelated

TL:DR was a pedophile now isn't, current gf finds out breaks up with him and might call the cops and ruin his life what do?

accelerate the process
call him when he's in jail and laff at him

He might not end up in jail there normie relationship was online and I dont think she knew enough to get him jailed

sounds like your friend needs a lawyer and should stop posting to Holla Forums for his legal advice.

"your friend" needs to stop giving out evidence like candy, shut the fuck up, lawyer the fuck up, and wait for the courts.

Let's remove jail completely from the context. If there was no danger of jail, what should he do

OP is "his friend"

"he" needs to admit there is a possibility of jail unless it would absolutely certainly be double jeopardy in the US

...

why would she call the cops on you? didn't you get out of court already? dump her fucking retarded ass. get a new life somewhere far away, if you really willing to change yourself.

no shit, mother fucker! op has no friends and he is a pedophilic scumbag.

How old is the underage one?

1 and a half

...

Get a list of all countries that don't have extradition treaties with the U.S.
Give it to him.
Tell him good luck and godspeed.

i'm not clicking on your jewtube embed just because you gave me a (you)

"your friend" should just tell her old gf "If you call the cops on me I will kill myself. Just leave my life and never come back" in a serious way. If she asks you anything say "That's none of your business". She will chicken out and disappear.
Get back to regular business.

My advice:
Kill the thot and hide her body

Tell your 'friend' to stop fucking around with underage girls. You…I mean 'he'…deserves this shit for being fucking retarded enough to think banging an underage chick would end any other way.

then I'll cut and paste the lyrics of the song I was trying to share with you. Thats how much I love you user.

Knock, knock Mr. Rogers, it's Mr. Mc' Feelie

I've brought you a letter, speedy delivery

Well Mr. Mc' Feelie, if there's postage due

You can go fuck yourself, like Captain Kangaroo

I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend

But in the end I still have no friends

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Mr. Rogers, I like your cardigan sweater

Mr. Mc' Feelie shut up and give me my letter

I don't want to talk to you, don't you understand?

Why are you inside my house, you're just my fuckin' mailman?

I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend

But in the end I still have no friends

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend

But in the end you still have no friends

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend

But in the end you still have no friends

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

You are my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too o

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too

I share the same views and hardly ever argue

Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span

And rock out to old school Duran Duran

rule number one: don't shit where you eat.
your friend is an idiot and deserves whats comming to him.
everyone know that if you want some gay action or diddly some kids you do it as far away from home as you can to avoid that kind of situation.

how old is the girl btw?

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.

I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."

Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"

Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.

Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

He should off both of them then himself.