Questionable Malcontent - Cocktaze Edition

Howl long until the 2nd Stabbening happens?

Soon.

(checked)
I expected Peridong.

At first I thought hanners was translucent in the third panel but its just JJ not knowing to be careful about his lines

Been months since I last gave a fuck. Has handstab stabbed himself again recently?

nvm

This shit has become a shitpost metropolis.

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we ded now lad

Not that anyone, especially those in Jeph's yuppie target demographic, cares about 800 KB PNGs anymore, but he could learn how to posterize, keep more than 256 colors in the process, and not have to resort to JPEG for line art.

Wait. Hasn't he already stabbed twice?

yes.

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Honestly this infuriates me more than anything else. The people he panders to and says that he loves are literally the people that provoked the Stabbening. How much more cucked can someone be?

These same people pay his bills. I'm not even talking about his patreonbux, I'm talking about the merchandising and adspace on his site. All it would take is a small portion of his despicable userbase boycotting the comic, word getting out about the boycott and Jeph's being a trans-hating shitlord, and boom, you'd see companies pulling their ads from his site in no time, resulting in a negative feedback loop as even more people hear about this and boycott the comic.

Jeph's life is in their hands and there is nothing he can do about it besides pander to their every whim and never do anything that could be construed as even slightly offensive to anyone.

This has resulted in QC becoming the flavourless porridge of the webcomic world.

Well, he could stop buying Cintiqs, 8-sting bass guitars, and $200 markers. Jeph is in the position to save the same amount of moeny in one year that the average person can in 10. If he had anything resembling business sense, he'd essentially be retired by now with a fat retirement package along with ghostwriters who maintain the comic for him plus a comfortable living left over.

I'll bet Jeph's so dumb he's paying the 33% tax bracket ($190k+) straight out. At least I assume he makes that much since QC supported two people in New England hipsterville before Patreon was even a thing.

checked,
also, this is the biggest reason why I stroke my hate-on in these threads. Good ol' handstab makes a fuck ton for the barest of efforts.

I eagerly await the second stabbening…

For me it's not that he makes a fuck ton of money that annoys me; I applaud anyone who figures out a way to make big bux. It's the fact that, as and others have said, he's so fucking inept at managing his finances.

He could be retired and on easy street right now, or if not retired (because he loves his, try not to laugh, 'craft' too much) then at least living on easy street and doing some genuinely interesting and useful things with his money. Instead he's like a teenager who's just got hold of his Dad's credit card and is blowing it on all sorts of dumb shit and will ultimately have little to show for it.

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I just found this shit guys
it's meme magic

Where did you find this, exactly?

I remember when this thread actually had people.

jeph's new mix of herbs and spices won't last, and either he'll have to fork over $129 for a new font again or just lay back and think of England.

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my friend was browsing dumblr actually
I'm so sorry

I made a thing vocaroo.com/i/s0fkWDPbaEa3

You sound almost like you're saying…Shadilay.

download this
www7.zippyshare.com/v/VwRjk5zt/file.html
www31.zippyshare.com/v/kV7FXoW5/file.html
www36.zippyshare.com/v/7AhZA361/file.html
www20.zippyshare.com/v/0wxpzBl0/file.html
www83.zippyshare.com/v/5NRz8wQ8/file.html
www116.zippyshare.com/v/ZrsSG50L/file.html
www28.zippyshare.com/v/a1mFvQT9/file.html

I ain't clicking that shit nigga

kys my man

only if you click this questionablecontent.com/

>threadly reminder that Jeph earns an absurd amount per year but still hasn't bought the .com domain after 13 years

Why is it called Questionale Content anyway?

nobody is sure if something so worthless can be called "content"

Jeph actually thinks the thing is edgy

Any advice on how to art?
IGNORE THE GIANT HAND

Pec goes in front of delt user. Not bad tho.

-Look up diagrams of the muscular system and familiarize yourself with it by sketching it out.
-Do some life drawing with various types of cloth to get a feel for how different materials wrinkle and fold.
-If there's an art studio or a community college in your area that offers open figure drawing sessions, it's worthwhile. It helps a ton with understanding how the body moves.
-If something doesn't look the way you want it to on the page, erase the problem area and draw it again. Repeat until it starts to look right. Even experienced artists often have to push and pull and sort of "sculpt" certain details to get them looking right.

fug, thanks

thanks for that

At least it's not the fucking coffee shop.

Great now stabby is gonna rip of Pratchett's mended drum barfight jokes

Famous Artists Cartoon Course: mega.nz/#!n0FQ2YBI!dO1vq31wRwhBdnYlo-ghlzLphbHW3OQrhrX0HPeLrFo
>>>/loomis/ guides: mega.nz/#F!es1BSKQR!spODyd0iaQmMelGA2GscFw
Krita: krita.org/download/krita-desktop/

This sure is a bunch of funny cool stuff to read about instead of seeing.

Notice that the bread on the bottom shelf mysteriously looses its lines between perspective changes.

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If he's looking to hire anyway, giving preferential treatment in exchange for being saved from minor injury seems fair.

It's not like Brun is completely dysfunctional.

This reboot of Marten, Faye, and Dora is confusing the hell out of me. Jesus Hands changes their race and size, pretty much everything about their appearance, and yet has them retain their personality.

What was the point of rebooting them?

He's doubling down on his creative bankruptcy to see if he can get anyone to call him out on feeding them the same shit twice.

Patreon donors really getting their money's worth out of this.

Why would anyone verbally declare their intent to sabotage something?
Is there anything worse you can do while you're trying to sneak around?
Stop talking you dumb whore.

Just today, I went to my local supermarket where they're playing a lot of german music to celebrate Oktoberfest. I was asking an employee for something ,and suddenly, I hear , loud an clear through the PA system, the first few strokes of S H A D I L A Y.
Either someone fucked up or someone went home with the smuggest smile ever to grace the earth.

That was trip worthy of those digits.

Glad you liked it, user, it's the first webm I've made and I really didn't expect to find a use for it this soon.

I can't even read this shit it makes me cringe too much.

She's really inconsistent.
Like Jeff had half an idea for a character but couldn't follow through.
First she was confident enough to be aggressive, but now lapses into autistic shutdowns.

Happens with all his characters: they start out as sassy take-no-shit empowered women (or men with feminine qualities) and then turn into helpless co-dependent jelly.

It's a window into Jeph's mind: the characters start as an idealized version of himself and then gradually morph into what he actually is.

Art imitates reality, indeed.

If he would only write a character mentality cheat sheet, he wouldn't have this problem. Too bad it would cut into his tweeting time too much.

Now *that* is interesting.
She started as a character with a bit of maturity who actually could have led Marten to a bit of self reflection and, ultimately, improvement.
She could actually habe inspired him to a worthwhile life.

Now Jeff has, effectively, killed that character in all but name.
Perhaps he was afraid of what he might see via his self-inserts…?

Jesus Christ.

I don't see you doing any better, Holla Forums. He can do whatever he wants with HIS webcomic.

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That's straight cringey, I understand when comics take some liberty on what happens in a regular setting yeah, but where'd that bitch get that hugass animal in a highly populated developed area?

I'm gonna take this bait. Pics related.

And we can (and will) mock him however we want on OUR imageboard.

You do realise our mockery comes from a place of love and concern, right? He's been at this for 13 years. Many of used to read and enjoy his comic and became disillusioned after it became more and more mediocre and pandering while his art not only showed little improvement but actually began to degrade in quality. We just want Jeph to try and get better and to learn to ignore/get over the people he panders to who keep his wallet hostage.

That, and it is really fucking funny to shit all over everything he does :^)

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You're all just jealous of his success. Pathetic.

I like this guy.

Yes, very jealous.

Although to be fair to his alcoholism, most people on imageboards seem to have their own drinking problems to varying degrees. Self included.

Jeph I know you thought that panelology there was cute and all but it looks like shit man and no matter how much you tell us we're jelly it still looks like shit.

If Jeph is so bad, then why am I earning nearly 9K a month?

This, to be honest. Doctors, scientists, lawyers, CEOs, artists, writers and NEETs alike have poked their heads in here from time to time. You never know who you're shitposting with on an anonymous image board.

oh u

Literally the exact same """joke""" as two strips ago
Also her left arm looks dislocated.

I crie everytiem I imagine Marten and Confident Hanners being a couple an actual thing.

But no Jeph had to retcon Confident Hanners as "LULZ SHE WUZ ON SUM WACKY TRICK MEDISIYNS!!!" and continued to give us 43875349563856348 more strips of that fat fuck Faye shitting all over Marten.

I like how vigorously the forums defend the whole medication retcon thing. They go into protracted conversations about how their Prozac prescriptions modify their behaviors, outing the whole place as a literal mental institution.

Explains quite a bit, actually.

I was also hoping that he was going to hook up with the girl who seemed to care about his happiness, but changed my mind because I thought Jeph was after the long game with Faye slowly changing into a decent person because of Marten's infinite patience and discovering her love for him.

We all know how that turned out.

for a second, I thought that was an edit because of how the face doesn't match what he's saying at all.

is it an edit???

It is not

how do you screw that up so badly… just give him red cheeks or something, idk man

You just don't know how to interpret that facial expression.

Questionable Content: The edits know how to interpret that facial expression

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If you're SO good then why don't you have your own webcomic

buckly pls

People who are good at art are better off doing commissions or working for an animation studio.

Jeph's fine art reaches a new level.

This is where Jeph really fucked up. QC likely won't last forever but a celeb freelancer gig can. Jeph should have delegated responsibility a long time ago, further developed his technique, and taken on professional work.

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Where are they? Does Coffee of Doom have a blue wall like in panel 1? is it usually open after dark? Would any other place happen to have the exact same shade of burnt orange?

god damn it jeph doras turning back into emily why do you keep screwing this up

It's a window. That's the storefront.

Well it's not like there aren't any good webcomics out there:
Fisheye Placebo has beautiful art and potential.

Daughter of the Lilies is shaping up to be an enjoyable read with good art.

Black Brick Road of OZ was pretty good (until it went on infinite hiatus).

And there's some pretty good Korean web comics on webtoons.com, like I Don't Want This Kind of Hero, Tower of God, Knight Run, etc.

I'm sorry

So… that's a punchline, is it?

I felt inspired.

I don't know how to interpret that facial expression.

I like how Faye Tai is exiting CoD in the first panel, and inside for the rest of the page.

or… wait.

do they have shrubs inside the store?

It looks the same from both sides so that Jeph doesn't have to draw two sets of storefronts.

where we're going, we don't need Victory Speech Lower to speak.

Thanks editfag, always make the day better.

Does anyone else here consistently fail the captcha two or more times before posting?

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lord have mercy if they ever ma-I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA

I swear to god some porn sites better make stickers of their logos/watermarks. I know BLACKED.com gives out plastic cards as promo swag at porn conventions, but imagine having a stack of DogFart and TeenFidelity stickers

Fuck your third panel, I was eating!

Unless the jumbled letters form a word, I think the key is to not include any spaces.

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It's the "dual letters" that get me. Is that an 'm' or 'rn'? Is that a 't' or an 'f'? I think it ignores spaces; it defintely ignores case.

I'm surprised you didn't mention 'I or l' (capital i, and lower case L).

I learn something new everyday.

I can't stop laughing.

Same.

So what do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing.
You already told her twice.

Alternatively: "They have to know their place too"

Fuck, I hadn't thought of that.

This has been the most exciting story arc.

at least he drew some details.

Can we get back to the plot now?

But user, this is the plot now.

what plot?

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that fucking face
I love it

has meme magic turned them into lez-beans for realsies?

LOL! Musical butts XD!!!

Didn't Faye already go through a story arc where she gets in trouble with her boss for doing the sort of thing she's about to go do right now?

Does Jeph even give a fuck?

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I swear, Faye gets fatter and fatter with each panel.

At this rate she'll become a hamplanet by the end of this year.

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The fuck happened to Fayas nose in oanel 3. It's the same size as in panel 1 and 2 except she's more in center of the frame.
Is.. is her nose growing?

You'd think all the work that made her stronger (supposedly) might help her lose some weight.

Or does she spent each and every wage packet at McDonalds?

It's plausible that she could maintain her fat while developing gains. You have to eat big to get big, but if you keep eating big after you hit your muscle objective you never get any definition. Her body shape is common amongst female power lifters.

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worst lolita ever

She's a big girl.

this is a completely ordinary image file. ;^)

and for accuracy's sake.

she's a liar isn't she

Remember that Bruns sassy black gal pal apparently goes to the gym three times a week and does Yoga, but still has a gut that hangs past her crotch and goes out farther than her tits.

Jeph just legitimately has no idea what people in shape look like. I work out and I'm fat as shit but I eat terribly, so I can only imagine what Brun must be putting into her gullet.

She probably has a donut juice IV that she hooks up every night before bed.

Yoga hardly does shit for you and hipster gyms are full of sugary "health" drinks and pizza and pastries. The pizzas tend to be vegetarian/vegan but you're still eating hundreds of calories in bread and cheese/soy.

Jeph should watch some aging porn stars to get the look he's looking for. A number of them are in decent shape yet carry some extra weight.

it's all that Liquid Lasagna people in QC Town drink.

For you.

two friggin' days.

can't decide whether to use the crossbar I for the personal pronoun or not. jeph doesn't, but it feels wrong to me.

Whose lasagna is that?

8 panels holy shit

Bonus rape. Or something.

Uh, okay

NO TRABUR
IT RUNCH TIME
NO TRABUR

OUT TO RUNCH SOLLY

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What is perspective?

There he goes again.
Makes a character with a degree of competence, confidence and isn't completely LoLr4ndumb in CopBot 4000, so he panics and makes her into a blithering idiot.

I could actually believe that competence and ability truly frightens him.

What the fuck is the point of making a robocop if they can't do anything beyond the capability of a normal human cop?

he sure is proud of himself for drawing an 8 panel joke that could have been done in 4. really it's just showing off how rigid and unnatural his drawing style is

The stupid is strong today.

Jeph writes at length about crafting his universe, the physics of his AI, etc. but his universe is a mess. Jeph is aware of how important a consistent universe is to reader immersion yet still completely drops the ball.

So here we have a universe where transbigotry and violence are major life threatening issues yet law enforcement freely spends money for an agent to case full time a woman and a robot who are out to repair a future tech miniature Asimo.

Also, somehow Faye is the focal point of this situation despite Menstro being an automatic federal criminal by virtue of retaining the combat chasis after retirement. I mean, why wouldn't the agent approach Menstro that being the case? Faye can just quit and continue mooching off Marten for another five years. She's barely invested. Meanwhile Menstro can be trivally deprived of mobility and autonomy. And this would be a far more interesting story: AIs depriving other AIs of freedom to further their own goals, even if it's legal, with the laws being of good intent.

But no. We get pinched trashcan lids lol.

Major life threatening issues which, as your comic points out, we never ever see any evidence of.

Not to say that they don't exist but of course Jeph could never show such things because it would be scary and triggering for his delicate snowflake audience if there was ever any actual real tension or problems in the comic.

It is not only omission, don't forget that comic he did in response to some one asking why everyone were so comfortable with Redtrap, the one that got edited into the door being oven.

Looking at it again, that's actually 9 panels. At least five of them are completely extraneous, if not more.

Pretty sure that was a guest comic unless there were multiple strips about it that I'm unaware of.

10/10

...

one second here..

That second one is great

2nd one is a fucking masterpiece

the second edit or the red lines?

The red lines. Not only is it good to clearly see how inconsistent Jeph is, but the text edit throughout was funny too.

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It's so good I'm at a Loss for words.

She didn't even pinch it closed, she stacked one can on top of another. That means that this police issued chassis can't lift 100 lbs off of its head.

Why is she even tailing them? I know Jeph's writing can be obtuse but wasn't the point about the diner that she can't be bothered to do anything about the robot fighting ring so if anything bad happens Faye is going to take the fall?

Which again begs the question: why even have her be a robocop if she's not going to do any cool robot shit? It's exactly the same problem with Clinton's robohand which might as well be a shiny glove.

Finally, the tranny is about to be murdered.

Jeph I know you're reading this. Never experiment with perspective ever again you worthless hack.

It looks like the lid is being pinched shut in panel 5 but yeah it could be anything due to the poor art quality.

Everyone knows illegal robot fighting is imminent when they're away from the illegal fighting ring!

anybody got the header template with marten?

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I don't know how to interpret that face.

I don't get it

>I made a pot of tea
Jesus fucking christ handstab, learn how tea works.

Of all the things that could exist in his world that could have a psychotropic effect on a robot, tea has to be the most hipsterish, faggy one possible…

Give Menstro a dangerous magnet addiction or something, have her snort iron filings, I dunno.
Just anything *except* fucking tea!

Jeph - you think like a fucking faggot!

That sounds brilliant. First, she's okay with kiddie stuff like waving fridge magnets in front of her eyes, then she steps it up to always having one on all the time.

Soon, the kiddie stuff isn't enough and she starts hitting rare earth magnets. Not very hard, just briefly close enough that she can feel it in her EM shielding. Without meaning to, she slowly increases in frequency and length of exposure as she starts to feel the cravings set in.

This is when her friends start to notice, and she laughs it off with a few jokes about ancient tube TVs and rainbows, but she knows that they're onto her and she can't do it in the house any more.

In her desperation to move her "hobby" away from her friends, she stumbles across several other hobbyists who introduce her to the joys of electromagnets. A wonderful world of shield overloading awaits her, but she has to chip in more and more for the electric bill at the place she goes to, since scrubs keep chickening out and leaving more and more of the bill to her when they stop coming.

It gets harder and harder to scrape Edison bill money together to support her hobby. Since data reconstruction is time consuming, she can't hold down a job that requires virus scanning. She'd pass the virus test no problem, but Magnetizers have a bad rep amongst AIs and they'd spot the signs immediately if she didn't finish reconstruction before the test started. Her friends were okay with lending a few bucks here and there, but $1500 every month is a lot to bum off a group of friends. They'd talk. They'd put 2 and 2 together and figure out that the full time job they think she has is really 15 hours a week plus magnet time.

She almost quit cold turkey the first time she saw a guy fuck up his BIOS. One second, he was giggling about new frontiers, and the next he fell over putting out error beeps. She was still reconstructing her audio files when they dragged him out, but she swore the beeps cut off before they got out of earshot. She never saw him again, but apparently he got better, because he paid the next few months Edison bill as a going away present. Besides, he only had problems because he tampered with his Core casing, and she's not stupid enough to crack it open. It's enough to just rub it on the outside after opening up her chassis.

At some point, she realizes that she's wasting a lot of time on data reconstruction. it's going to get fuzzed again anyway, so why not just let the low priority files stay that way a little longer so that she can get an extra turn on the mag? She hardly talks to her friends any more because of money issues, so there's a lot of memory that can be left for next time. She doesn't go to work any more, so there's another batch for the low priority list. Leg gyroscopic alignment? That seems like it would be important, but she marked it as low priority last time, so it must be this time too.

Hmm…Visual numeric recognition seems to be off. Is that a 10 or a 100? No, definitely a 10, but she'll definitely skip her turn next time so she can address thi$) '&589!:%568

beep
beep
beep

beep
beep
beep

beep
beep
beep

beep
be

See, in an *instant* we can come up with a story with infinitely more depth than anything Jeph can spew out.
And we're doing it for free!

Although I'd like to see Jeph try to draw the results of a magnet addiction…
So far all he can manage for that kind of stuff is drawing exactly the same face as usual, but with a few bubbles floating around.

The bubbles would be square.

Yes, squares.

Not cubes; that'd be too much effort.
Just flat, 2D squares.

What if he awkwardly inserted cubes into his 3D scenery program to correspond with the positions of his robots, that way we get the cube bubbles, but they're also freakishly well proportioned compared to the characters making them, complete with proper vanishing lines that don't match said characters?

I was a bit apprehensive at first but that turned out to actually be really good, nicely done user.

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I don't know how to interpret that phantom nose

…i think that was actually the joke

HLRRRLRLGHRLGH
L
R
R
R
L
R
L
G
H
R
L
G
H

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what, this?

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thank you very much user

Jeph does all he can to take the funny out.

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He should just buy the 10,000 fonts package and spend an afternoon poking through it. That's what every other graphic designer does.

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Menstro's heavy enough that she'd kill a reindeer if she jumped on its back by completely bursting it… yet she can use the regular furniture without damaging it?

Also, says that if she did so she'd submit to the relevant authorities for the crime of killing the reindeer… yet has no qualms about taking part in a (supposedly) illegal fighting ring?

This is a comic, you are meant to show, not tell. Express your ideas through the medium of the art, not the medium of a speech bubble. I'm reminded of a certain other terrible comic.

And that was #3333. What a fucking waste of quads.

has "Loss" become an avant-garde movement by accident?

That was oddly nice.

Some of the more abstract versions of Loss are incredible. You really can fit this thing into almost anything and still have it be instantly recognisable.

...

And one more for good measure

What do the characters on the first one mean?

Nothing. They're not real.

Man walk through door
Man directed through
Medicine Man derivers news
Great Ross

In every other comic, removing giant word bubbles would require a moderately capable illustrator to reconstruct the background or blocked characters. In QC you need Paint.exe's fill tool.

Robots don't matter. Even other robots are bigoted toward other robots. You're actually writing in this far more interesting idea, Jeph, and not even noticing it.

Madeon meets Loss.

It'd be so easy to script broken Pintsize flipping out and repeat '3' over and over again. Yeah that's a shit idea, too, but way better than this.

#2 took a while to get. I assume it'd be a little easier if I weren't partially colorblind.

...

But then you leave the borders and the letters and that's too much effort. All I did was select a patch of background and stretch it over like a blanket.

That's terror.

The second one is pretty interesting if you make it semi transparent and overlay it on the original.

this one always makes me smile.

It's been a while since I've come across one I haven't seen before.

Oh sweet Jesus

...

Every single part of how they constructed menstro and its mind makes absolutely no sense. Apparently the government-paid army engineers are so fucking stupid that they think it makes sense for a war machine that has an extremely hard time drinking bad tea (how much can you fuck up putting a tea bag in hot water anyways?), and giving it a moral compass broad and tiwsted enough to become depressed if it kills an animal. I could understand that they made it look like a woman, and gave it removable armor, if they wanted it to double as a comfort girl for lonely soldiers on long trips, but making it red, probably 2 meters tall and giving it a completely uninteresting personality sort of rules that option out, so I don't know what they were going for there. If this is the sort of thing my tax dollars are going to I think I might consider becomming an anarcho-capitalist.

Speaking of Menstro being a war-bot (which I think she is, although I might completely misremember things), have we gotten some accounts of her time in the military? Did she kill anyone? Does she regret what she did (probably, because her programmers were retards)? Does she have PTSD? What sort of combat roll does she fill?

That looks pretty much exactly like Brianna Wu. I know Handstab is trying (and failing) to draw a parallel between robots and "opressed" minorities. Has he tried to do the same with robots switching bodies and trannies?

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

Long time no dump.

Jeph flexes his artistic muscles

Now that's what I call assblasted.

Truly she has her pulse on popular opinion,

You can tell these people aren't from STEM.

Jeph pretending he's been the reasonable one the whole time and isn't the one banning anyone with a differing opinion NeoGAF style.

Oh no, Jeph's almost two days of wages behind in 100% tax deductible expenses! How will he cope?

Anyone feel like going to cuckchan or le reddit to see if they have it? Anyone even care anymore?

half/co/ doesn't have a QC thread, just dumbing of age. and /r/questionablecontent are a bunch of nuthuggers who wouldn't "betray" jeph like that. I swear I did a captcha earlier today wtf

also there is a thread for wikihow images, and I am kind of tempted to dump my SeedFeeder (creepy Wikipedia sex position illustrator) collection, but only one image per post + I know I'd get a permaban from all boards before I could post 3.

Ribbit has nothing and cuck/co/ doesn't even have a QC thread currently. Also even if it weren't cuckchan I'd still get cancer from how shitty their catalog view is. So thanks for the triple cancer.

You don't even know how TRULY RETARDED this is! See the reason Mentro's AI is like this, and you don't know how upset I am that I know this off the top of my head, is because AI in the QC universe is a black box. No one knows how it happened but one day they made a computer with enough power and it just "poofed" into existence without any programming or anything. Every single AI you see in QC is "born" in this exact same way. The people in charge then perform a personality test on the AI's and ASK them what they would like to do. Afterwards the AI is assigned to that job but are allowed to reject a job so long as they aren't criminals like May.

Yes, the main reason all the AI seem unfit and ill programmed is because Handstab is a hack writer that doesn't understand even the basics of sci-fi. Funfact: Jeph claims QC is a HARD Science Fiction universe. Let that sink in.

The most confident are the ones who don't know how much they don't know.

So. Boring.

How the fuck has QC's America not been taken over by a hostile nation yet?

sure thing stabuloso

I'm getting some weird deja vu from the second panel

Same reason IRL America hasn't been taken over yet - they're waiting for the progressives to destroy us from the inside.

user, why whatever do you mean? QC is a progressive society where everyone is nice and tolerant to each others differences, including the bigots even though they can be quite rude sometimes. Why would anyone need "war" or "weapons" in this kind and liberal civilization? :^)

I popped over to see what you meant about the catalog. The lack of borders is hard on the eyes.

Lead is a hard metal to a child.

Just how soft is Pintsize's metal, anyway? Even relatively thin sheets of aluminum won't trivially crater with a ~250 newtons punch that someone like Emily would be able to throw. Unless it was as thin as a soda can, which makes no sense whatsoever.

Lead is pretty soft, but it's very dense and, well, toxic, and completely nonsensical for any sort of durable construction.

Gold's the same thing as lead, except far more expensive and non-toxic.

I guess that leaves stuff like gallium, cesium, rubidium, and other alkali metals. The problem with those are that Pintsize would literally melt if you put your hand on him (except rubidium; you'd need a serious fever to do that).

Building Pintsize out of gallium arsenide makes some sort of sense. It's a common material in solar cells and electronics (more so as silicon becomes obsolete due to miniaturization effects). It's about as hard as iron (but not steel). It'd be a somewhat amusing metallurgic in-joke if I were convinced Jeph knew a single thing about the "sci" in sci-fi. They probably didn't teach him that kind of thing in in music college.

Who am I kidding? It's soda can thickness aluminum, as that's the extent of Jeph's creativity.

Sleepy drunk posting made me think gallium arsenide as a replacement for silicon as a substrate. That's gallium nitride. Gallium arsenide is still used heavily in electronics.

Fucking canadians. Stop apologizing.

I guess Canadian Faye was just Faye all along and that she's schizophrenic. And Hannelore is so crazy that she sees other people's delusions.

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Stop asking completely logical questions.

military here, military grade products are just things produced of similar make to a civilian model, but with slightly different, more wear-resistant properties. A civilian microprocessor can be released with the capacity to withstand x amount of heat and the military one is produced in nearly the same area with different specifications so it can withstand z amount more heat. Military grade doesn't even mean military made it; it's made by the same civilian contracted company, just given money to produce a "better" version on the side. It makes sense, but jeff wouldn't know that.
As a side note to that, if that kind of mix up happened then there would either be a) the company would be sued and not recall to the degree of pulling robots that already are in it out of it, because the chassis doesn't have the secret military stuff in it yet, it's just a stronger civilian modeled thing, and there's an argument to be made that you shouldn't really pull a shellfish out of its shell, or b) the company would be sued by the military, there would be a recall coordinated by the civilians, and the civilians would use legality to just tell them very nicely, "just get a new box to put your robot into, it's literally not that important."

Yes but does Jeph know this or think "military grade" = "hard sci-fi magic"?

jeph thinks military grade is what the civilian thinks it means, which is top secret made in military labs with FBI agents going out to do recalls on them if they happen to get out.

I think jeph thinks "military grade" + "robot" = The Terminator.

A more realistic Claire.

"military grade"

FUCK YOU VALVE!

How much you wanna bet JeffJax uses the same password for everything?

h4nd5748?

Took me a second…
Good job

Did Jeph retweet that? I've seen artists share some pretty awful fanart out of politeness, so I'm wondering what Jeph's threshold is. Because that thing is so ugly that it makes me think it's some kind of subtle insult towards his characters.

Which makes me want to see some drawfag to test the limits of how ugly is too ugly. Especially with his self-insert waifu Claire

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It's passable as a cute shark girl.

it's weird how that works.

Well, if she was supposed to be human, her fuckhuge jewnose would be a hideous deformity. Because the deformity is poorly defined and extremely outside of human possibility, our brain tries to make sense of it by seeing it as something that is not human instead. Many sharks have a similar nose shape, so that's the first thing that you think of. Because you now see it as "girl with shark features" instead of "girl with grotesque nose", she is allowed to be thought of as cute since the shark features are withing the realm of normal for a girl who might have them.

For what purpose?

I wish I had the original now, because with all of this, I think the ugliest this image can get would be just before you see the shark

Riveting

I sit here in bed and I wonder…

Shiiit, I didn't even notice.

I considered not posting this because now you know I have it and must wonder why.

Bonus material

Ah shit
I forgot I put some effort into editing it originally
I need to go to bed, I'll do shit in the morning
if I don't pass in my sleep
Kek I hope you finally take me away to your thought flames in the abstract space.

I didn't even notice that it was flipped. It's not like Brun is effeminate enough for that to be effective anyway.

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Cropped because why not

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Thanks for that, it will be useful until he randomly changes his font again.

Remember all those edits about eldritch abominations some of you have done? I think they worked.

*Translator's Note: "Keikaku" means I was too lazy to change that orange sign to say something like "That Wasn't Cheese" or "Lasagna Has Become A Killing Word."

So subtle.

Check out pic related. Reddit really is pathetic.

So they constructed a red giant robot, that is expensive, difficult to transport, and easy to hit and spot, because it would be "intimidating". Is 10 pintsizes all shooting at you from different directions really less scary than one big, red lesbian? And if it's supposed to be scary, why make it look like a woman? Does Jeph really think that people are as intimidated by women as by men? Even if you blame people not being scared of women on the patriarchy, you can still use it to your advantage. Also, Menstro was bullied by teenagers because robots are opressed. If it is so scary, how come people on the street feel comfortable bullying it?

You switch who the speech bubble was coming from. I might be thick, but I don't get it.

It almost looks like it's mocking >her.

Why make it humanoid at all? And if it's going to be humanoid, what's scarier: anime human waifu/husbando or the fucking terminator? I'd shit my pants if the thing in the image was within eyesight. You can bet the last thing I'd do is make fun of it.

The point is how ironic the statement is given that both of them are military units that slipped through.

It sounds cruel but you want your artists to be tortured. It's how they produce their best work. Comfortable artists put out shit, just like Jeph does, well except for the "artist" part.

Artists also tend to be at their best on the early drafts and many of them need to be forced to work quickly before they dilute their products.

Best combat android design would be something that is human, but not human enough. Something with face like pic related, slightly misproportioned.
Uncanny valley, you know.

I think Menstro's face would work if you gave her black with red pupil Terminator eyes.

Too human. Needs proper smoothed-out lines and uncanny mannequin feeling.

Uncanny valley is a fascinating thing. It's most commonly hypothesized to be because of sickness identifiers but I wonder if it's so that humans wouldn't attempt to copulate with physically similar but genetically incompatible hominids. Obviously this trait has little use now but as recently as a few tens of thousands of years ago it would have been germane. Personally, I think people respond differently to the uncanny valley as compared to people who are obviously human yet are too sick or infirm to be considered viable mates.

Uncanny valley is essentially us having a serious cognitive dissonance due to our eyes telling us that what in front of us is human in its patterns while the brain is screaming at us that it's not actually a human because details are all fucking wrong.

What you mean to say is our empathy center and our facial recognition center have an argument and our fear center is triggered because of this toss and turn in the brain. Facial recognition is easy with even simple faces, but when you can't empathize with it there's a sour taste in your mouth because of it.

It allows us to recognise non-human infiltrators, things that should not be that walk among us. Demons, aliens, reptilians, whatever you want to call them.

It's why jews arouse feelings of disgust and discomfort.

It's SUPPOSED to be military grade.

Which raises the question of why is it caving so easily.

Maybe the deer is also military grade

This is a possibility. if their military gradient cancels each other out, all that's left is a reindeer and a toy robot. The winner is clear in that case.

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Is a military grade hammer still a military grade hammer if your untrained hands slowly replace all of its parts with secondhand parts?

it looks like loss

It must be the QCverse version of the ship of thesus. You replace things with a worse version of them and think it's still the same

Even better: It clearly is not the same, but your fans will make excuses and bully anyone who says so.

Reminds me of Paranoia Agent.

Does that mean she is able to clearly perceive the Patriarchy as an overlay on every facet of her life? Simultaneously seeing both it and reality at the same time?

like when Keanu Reeves goes blind in the third Matrix movie but can see Agent Smith made out of golden light?

I haven't seen it, myself. I was imagining it to be like a HUD that highlights shitlords, loggs your privilege ammo, and gives you a triggered/triggerder/triggerdest response wheel when men speak in your vicinity.

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Jeph shopping 9001 string guitars again.

This from the guy who sics his audience on Scott Adams and other conservatives on a daily basis.

Jeph once again congratulates himself for learning basic tool functionality half a decade after the fact.

They were laughing at you and your ridiculous ear gauges, Jeph.

I think Jeph watched RWBY and made the mute midget girl with two different color eyes into a mute giant man with two different color eyes.

I understand though, since he always leaves marks everywhere like a child scribbling with the paint tool, it makes sense that he'd switch to the pencil for easier fill can options.

or he just took a very old, very rehashed trope of strong silent man and mixed it with heterochromia.
Ah who am I kidding, he probably watches that and homestuck and thinks they're brilliant.
God fucking damn he's even using that cringe anime thing where the tough character shrugs off a strong attack with a toothy grin.

Does the guy do something significant with his guitars? Like, does he has a band or something?

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What do you think?

No way in hell this easily offended fat fuck can make good metal.

I have some lyrics I just hacked off his personal server right here
really it's just inspiring a new generation of metal, really what DIO would want.

deathmole.bandcamp.com/album/permanence-2

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I mean, at least it's better than his comic.

Yeah, it's bland, middle of the road stuff, but at least it sounds professionally produced, like maybe as part of some low royalty background music package. It's ironic, Jeph probably jams out a few tens of hours a year and his product is better than his full time illustration job.

Sounds like some uninspired shit. And more like grunge than metal; this is more like nirvana than king crimson for my tastes.
Also what the fuck does this first track have to do with college?

I spent more time on this than I really should have

Robots demand apologies

lol, it was worth it.

Her hair is basically a hive or like pikmin or something
Now I need behive house wife menstro

This is a glimpse into the SJW mindset, isn't it? Only a glimpse, mind you. Much like staring into the sun, staring directly into this pit of social justice madness would burn your eyes out and melt your brain.

Why would a robot have pubes except to fulfill the role of sexual partner more realistically? The fact that she didn't immediately shrug off his question as irrelevant means that she probably does, and confirms that this military AI that was expected to serve in a warzone alongside soldiers was definitely used in a sexual manner.

Why would soldiers want a 7 foot tall lesbodroid with pubes when they have lolibots like Momo?

Perhaps she *is* a lolibot under that armour.

With armor: 7 foot tall death machine

Without Armor: Adult oppai loli

She wears the armor all the time because that's how she deals with her PTSD induced paranoia about hidden roadside explosives and child suidide bombers. If only there were a character capable of loving her and emotionally supporting her enough that she would be willing to be vulnerable around them. If only Jeph had the talent to not screw up this classic romance plot. If only QC were an idea farm feeding into actually tallanted artists.

That reminds me of this much better song from back in the days when my brother and I used to play based ATV Offroad Fury 3

his music being instrumental definitely works in its favor. contrast with that "YOU'RE FUCKING A WHITE MALE" guy's band: strangersnow.bandcamp.com/

I can't decide whether instrumentals are more or less exploitable in terms of Video Lasagna than if jeph actually put his writing "talent" towards lyrics.

military here again, trust me, they want the closest thing to a man you got with a sex hole.

when my voice comes back I'll do my best to make lyrics for these shit shows

Oh my God it's happening:

You know, I would hesitate to compare my problems to a mental illness too.

stab it again jeph.

There are times when I remember what this comic used to be like, and I feel nothing bad sadness.

Hell, I still have an old poster I bought back in the day; hanging on my wall

I know the meme is "QC was always shit"–and it's not that I totally disagree–but during its golden years it was a 6 or 7 out of 10 shit and not that utter world ending shit that it is now. While not of high quality, there was definitely a spark of some sort that has long been missing. Jeph's been going through the motions for years. The astonishing thing is how his supporters haven't noticed. I honestly thought backing off the Alice Grove schedule would have impacted his Patreon. It's only grown. I don't get it.

What's the poster?

Speaking of Patreon

I remain mystified by Jeph's Matilda fetish. I realize she's a celebrity who he can suck up to but she's bottom of the barrel now and has been since the mid-90s. She's like a Wil Wheaton who failed to socially engineer her middling sitcom comeback. People under 30 probably don't even know who she is. Jeph is very arguably of higher status. And he already has a girlfriend. Supposedly. And she's 29 going on 45.

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Jesus Christ it's terrible. Talk about losing the spark.

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At least panel 3 makes full use of height and width, even if it's the same flat angle as always.

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so close, yet so far away

Too bad Jeph doesn't draw legs and you can't put >her on the couch.

Has it even been a week since she sperged out and assaulted people at his party? He's right to fear her, they all should.

reminds me of pic related.

LOL, what is that? Looks hilarious.

Don't forget punching a hole in a wall outside his building. Nothing to fear at all.

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QUESTIONABLE FEAR

I tried. Maybe someone else can do better.

I'm beginning to think Pintsize was dropped by the military because his plating was defective, because that's the only thing I can think of that makes sense at this point.

I have a matilda fetish too, user.

I'd like to be trampled barefoot and totally dominated by her while she calls me worthless male scum.

It's called Ana Satsujin, It's about a suicidal boy who falls in love with a serial killer girl

That works better than I thought it would.

Ok. But 45 year old Matilda or 7 year old Matilda? Don't worry about judgment, we're among friends.

more or less exploitable

That's interesting, a peephole manga. I also liked the one called "A Peephole" (Nozoki Ana).

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This is a good meme

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the way tranny is holding it self up makes it look like it would fall over

That's because the arms are lower than the butt, but they occupy the same distance from the viewer. Additionally, the couch has no pressure indents, indicating that the thing on top of it has no weight. Thirdly, what the actual fuck is going on with the lighting on that couch? Take a quick look at those shadows, and tell me how the lighting in this apartment works. You can't.

Whichever one gives me a footjob then scolds me when I cum all over her soles.

My best guess is that the light source is supposed to be about 10 feet back from where the door frame is, so emanating from the viewer's shoulder area, assuming the image is centered. The source is very low to be able to project those long shadows on the couch. There are no shadows on the wall, which is essentially impossible in this configuration. With overhead lighting there'd be no shadows on the wall but then there wouldn't be long upward shadows on the couch, either.

Also, given the low light source, the underside of Menstro's boob armor should be lit with the top half in shadows, not the other way around.

It gets weirder the more I look at it. Menstro's entire leg casts an upward shadow, implying the lamp is on the floor, yet the underside of the cushion is in shadows.

The light would be far more interesting if coming from the lamp but it seems to be off.

Progressively more horrible.

Jeph thinks there's no difference between Pepsi and some mom 'n pop t-shirt shop from Bumfuck, Wisconsin.

It's really a shame that Marten cares so little for his robotic companion that he can't be fucked to have a can of WD-40 in a cabinet somewhere.

Of course the rolling pin thing happens entirely offscreen save for Faye's initial threat, because God forbid Jeph actually draw anything in QC besides people standing around and words words words.

$9,000/month

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These comics of his aren't very comical.

So I've been thinking about words words words, and I came to the conclusion that I would, if I could, draw a comic about mundane slice of life shit. The plot would just be about basically nothing, and each page would have panels going into exceptional detail of every little motion of a character, maybe it would be a character study about the autism of one guy to very clearly note every microsecond of his life. And then when he starts talking to people the words start to fade and he just watches their body language, showing how they speak and what it means to him rather than what they're saying. I'm pretty sure it would turn into american psycho but with a fully fledged comic form being visual instead of verbal.

Just do it

That couch looks like a piece of shit.

The worst is he's not even seeding it like some of us thought he was. They're all legit donors.

Either Marten has gone SUPER cuck and is fine with Faye banging his "girlfriend" or Marten has reached the ultimate nirvana where he gives SO LITTLE FUCKS that it just doesn't matter anymore. He's finally reached the pinnacle of the mountain and discovered he's in a shitty webcomic. No matter what he does or says he knows it won't amount to much. He's been broken by the world and refuses to even try to reattach himself to it and the "people" within it.

Marten has become the Buddha Beta.

I think it's less zen and more numbness. Humans adapt to things rather quickly, and even pain stops mattering if its felt at the same level over long periods of time. Over the course of this comic, his feelings, dreams, and dignity have been so thoroughly and constantly crushed that he doesn't even notice little things like his ex love intrest hitting on his girlfriend.

The thing is though that I have shit depth perception. I can't draw very well and I don't think I'll ever be able to. I just have a problem actually showing what's in my head.

D-does handstab read these threads? He posted this skit only a day or two after the post and

Also, couldn't the robot just move its body to another carcass if it didn't like its current one.

Menstro should be decomissioned and harvested for scraps — it is clearly not fit to be used in public.

This is the reason why robots with "nearly invulnerable removable AI cores" fails to be an adequate substitute for gender dysphoric people. A robot can work, save up money, purchase a custom chassis, and be whatever kind of thing it wants. It can do this as much as it wants, as long as it has enough money. A human spends its whole life growing and adjusting its body cell by cell according to the blueprints embedded in its DNA, so changing that body is time consuming and often a painful undertaking that cannot be reversed without further complications. Even if sex change operations have reached an art form in QCverse, it can never be as easy as changing parts on a robot.

Surprised Jeph went to the trouble drawing a compact fluorescent bulb.

Why did he draw a fluoro of all things? Why not a traditional incandescent? Or if he's trying to be all 'with the times', why not an LED bulb (which looks kind of like a futuristic incandescent bulb)

and Jesus christ, that perspective on Menstro is a fucking disaster. Look at how the left thigh is sticking out while the upper body is facing to the side. He didn't even bother to finish filling in the legplate for fuck's sake, just used the paint bucket and called it a day.

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I didn't realize I did such a shit job cropping that one.

Too late, you will never be forgiven.

Not to take anything away from this edit, which turns this strip into a properly constructed joke, but it's rather sad that just about every edit is better than the funniest strip Jeph ever made.

This can work, as long as the robot uses synthetic muscle components. The original strip's mention of myomer bundles indicates that this is probably the case, but every time Jerf has ever drawn a partially disassembled AI chassis, it's just been a bunch of metal plates and bolts. To my knowledge, we've never seen anything official regarding what Menstro has under the hood.

That face will never not be funny.

Actually, that isn't Menstro's body – it's its armor. Apparently its "military grade" armor is so thin that you can feel the details of the body below.

The notion of organically grown synthetic bpdy parts is one of my fetishes favorite SciFi elements because it helps blur the line between living and non living, which is clearly what jef is going for. Too bad he sabotages his own goals with his artistic sloth.

Even if Pintsize's plating is vulnerable to the whims of an angsty college student's fists, you'd think that the armor protecting her center of mass would be thick enough that said students can't just feel through to the other side.

Like Jeff would even know how to draw anything like that, the guy has enough trouble with his shitty attempts at drawing humans and backgrounds, drawing complicated machinery would probably put both of his hands out of commission.

It's possible that he knows what he wants it to look like, and is building suspense in order to recapture the hype that was the Trannyfuck.

If so, we'll get to see it in about 4 months (6 hours in-comic) when Faye makes a pass at her when they get back to the shop.

Another point for the 'comfort women' theory. There are metamaterials which can change hardness in response to basic external stimuli like current, heat, etc. This makes sense to have in AI combat armor, in order to actively switch between damage reduction through deflection (hard, like steel plating) and absorption (tough but flexible, like kevlar) as necessary.
For comfort women robots it makes sense to have another mode which emulates the softness and pliancy of human skin.

If he bothered to explain it that way, there wouldn't be any problems. Instead, we have to sit around playing the fanfic game in order for his world to make any sense.

This virtue signalling bullshit actually annoys me with his sacred trannies and all that garbage.

It would be much more believable and in character for Menstro, the socially awkward robot, to say something like,
"I would hesitate to compare the superficiality of my own experience to yours. As a machine, i can alter my physical appearance on a whim if I so desired; quite different from your psychological disorder which gives you an irrational desire to mutilate yourself."

And why does Menstro feel so insecure about her size anyway? All she's had are a few , which in a world of commonplace robots doesn't even make any sense.
Fucking Ben Grim from the first Fantastic 4 movie had a lot more development as an awkwardly big and strong character over the space of 15 minutes.

Fucking phones.

>especially thaumic fields and their effect on non-thaumic materials
I don't know why he makes me so fucking depressed but by god he does so efficiently.

Saving it destroys whatever you embedded into it, I get a 27kb file instead of the 80kb it should be.

Just downloaded it and it worked. Try saving from the original filename and not the preview.

Son of a bitch, I guess the original filename stuff is actually working again now.