I've been stealing from different Wal-Marts in my area, at varying times and frequencies to avoid being recognized...

I've been stealing from different Wal-Marts in my area, at varying times and frequencies to avoid being recognized, for 4 years. I would take the things I sold and sell them at colleges and public areas for a profit. This is a nice supplement to my paycheck.

Today I fucked up and got caught for the first time in my life. An associate spotted me pocketing a bluetooth speaker, but made the poor decision of approaching me and getting in my face. When the manager was alerted, all I had to do was claim harassment. Before the manager came along I had already pulled the speaker out of my pocket so that when the manager arrived, this associate already lost her case. Second, I made a lie and said the associate called me "White Trash". The kind manager then ordered his associate to sit in his office with resentment in his voice, and then offered me a 50% discount on the speaker as an apology.

I fucking love being white.

not cool, bro

She is black so it works out in the end.

I mean the stealing

Yes stealing is bad don't do it.
But the NAP applies to associates.

Fuck you, OP. You're the reason people are gay.

stealing at walmart is the dumbest shit ever. do easy stores like shoppers drugmart or any other place that isn't fucking walmart

And who the fuck is this tripfag

sorry i didn't notice i left my trip on i use it to "ironicaly" make fun of tripfags

and why do you reply to a tripfag?

Shoplifting is the dumbest way to steal ever.

Step One: Figure out what you want a new one of.
Step Two: Go buy a new one *with cash*. Open it up very carefully, preferably from the underside.
Step Three: Clean up your old one really good and put it in the box the new one came in, making it look as much like it had not been used as possible, repackage it in the box the new one came in.
Step Four: Return the old one as if it were the one you just bought. Tell them it didn't work. Or if you can seal the package back up to make it look like it has never been opened then you can just say you changed your mind and return it with a lot less questions/hassle.
Step Five: Profit.

I learned this the hard way when I bought a toaster from WM for my brother as a housewarming gift when he got his first apartment. He opened it up and pulled out an old used toaster. He thought I was having him on, but nope. Someone had obviously scammed WM out of a new toaster by returning their old one. I have since tweaked that ploy to work at a number of other hard goods stores. (Fuck you, Ikea. Enjoy your packages of random scrap lumber.) Pretty much if you can make the package look like it has never been opened you are going to be able to get away with it at virtually any store as long as you pay with cash.

you tellin me they don't open the box and check it to confirm the non-workingness?

In case you ever need to steal something that you can't pocket.

I was rooting for you while reading the story. I hope you burn in hell now that I've come to my senses again.

...

I would just like to say I am not black but I steal chicken from my local Chick-fil-A. It's got a self serve style for some reason where you take what you want off a shelf and put it in a bag and pay for it at the front register. I go in and put a single chicken sandwhich in the bag in my right hand and a lemonade in my left. I also stuff a 12 piece box of nuggets in my left exterior jacket pocket, a spicy sandwhich in my interior jacket pocket, and sometimes another sandwhich in my back pocket. When I go to pay, I hold the lemonade in my hand at my waistline so that the cup obscures the bulge from all the stolen food. I have yet to be caught and if someone ever calls me on it my plan is to say the bag got too heavy and was ripping so I put the food in my pockets to carry it all and I was gonna pay for it you just didn't give me enough time.