Alright, I'm contemplating doing something pretty stupid, and I need your advice...

Alright, I'm contemplating doing something pretty stupid, and I need your advice. Basically push me over the edge or talk me out of it.

I have a time-sensitive window to get to a certain place in the next few days. It's just under 800 miles away, and I'd be driving the same amount back.

I don't have a car, I don't have a license. I took the written test, but I need someone with an insured car to loan me theirs in order for me to take the driver's test. Every friend and family member I've asked either said no or doesn't have an insured car. I posted ads on craigslist and tried to rent a car. No takers.

Perplexed by this issue, every day for the passed week while walking my dog I've passed this one back alley. There's a car there, tags are from '14, has license plates. It's across from some completely destroyed car chassis, but this one seems perfect. It's just been sitting there in front of their wooden fence down a back alley for months.

I don't have a criminal record, I've never stolen a car. This car is an older model, 90's maybe. Tinted windows.

If I looked up a guide on hotwiring old cars, and I went over there with some gloves, screwdrivers and a hanger and left a note on their fence that reads "Sorry, I'll bring it back in a couple days I swear." and stole the car what are the odds at some point along the way I get pulled over and my entire life is ruined?

Do it faggot

You'd be better off stealing a random license plate and putting it on your car.

You'll be fucked if you get caught stealing the car, unless going to jail for a few years seems worth it. Honestly what are you going to do with the car? Are you going to Chris Hansons house?

wonder if it has a battery?
don't leave a sorry note, leave a can of spray cheese in passenger seat to explode in the sun
also make sure you don't zap your fingers on the car battery, they can be pretty mean to you
DO IT FAGGOT
and post pics months afterwards after scrubbing EXIF data

Don't be a thief, its not worth ruining your life over.

Take the train or a flight instead.

Rolled 5 (1d6)didn't read but suggest you do whatever it is.

I don't understand your comment.


I don't think I'll be caught *stealing* it, my fear is that I'll be so nervous or oblivious to some driving rule I'll get myself pulled over. And if I get myself pulled over and they see a screwdriver sticking out of the steering wheel, I'll be fucked, on top of not having a license.


What motivates any man to make a stupid decision?

Why don't you start by stating where the fuck you are idiot.

If I'm convinced to go through with this, and given actionable advice that will make me more likely to be successful doing this, I promise once I feel certain I've gotten away with it I'll go to a fast food place with wifi a few towns away and upload pictures of the entire act along with the story behind it.

You should post ad on Craigslist. I bet you will find a daddy to drive you if you suck him off. You will prob have to take a few loads in your ass too

I was a shit driver for a year or two. My ride was a POS with only 1 rear view mirror. I've never been pulled over or in an accident. As long as you're not totally brain dead you'll be fine

/thread

professional hustler here. here's a protip: dont make your first crime a felony.

You think the owner would just let you drive off with the car and go, "he said he'd bring it back in some state"? Fucking idiot, OP.

Is car the only means of transport? No trains, planes, etc?
Your little plan is extremely stupid but funny.

OP is driving somewhere for love. You don't have to tell me.

OP, imagine if you owned that car. Would you be okay if some faggot stole it? This is the United States, land of the free. Let your fellow Americans enjoy themselves just like they have let you enjoy yourself (when was the last time anyone stole something important from you?).

GRAND THEFT AUTO
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F
T

A
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What other option do I have?


I can barely afford what the gas would cost to drive there. The point of the trip involves transport of another person. Secretly.

...

...

If your gunna return it, dont put a note, make sure
you wear gloves and a hairnet so no DNA, maybe wipe down the car with something later

just stay home and masturbate to traps, OP.

Far as I know, bus rides are still cheap and anonymous if you use cash. Could do a test buy and see if they require ID before you pretend to realize you don't have enough cash to cover whatever the price is.
Or do like the hobos and hop a freight train.

I checked into greyhound, the closest station to where I'm heading is two towns away, and even to there it would end up being around 400 bucks (roundtrip for me, one way for another person.)

800 miles? Dude. That piece of shit probably hasn't been started in years. Every aspect of it is probably shot. You're gonna break down ten miles out of your home town, in the middle of a highway, with a cop behind you, who is gonna take you to jail where you're going to be gang raped. Take the fucking bus like everybody else.

i thought this ad was a joke and it is literally the first add i see when i open up gelbooru. are people really this retarded?

with 800 miles you are bound to be pulled over atleast once

why not use adblocking you twat

Can you not buy a cheap pos car for 100$ and make the trip with that? Steal a licence plate for visiting the gasstations on your way.

I can, whilst knowing nothing about the situation, say confidently that whatever your reason for the trip is not worth the risk of facilitating it. My source is life experience. Which I sincerely hope that you lack.

Take the fucking 🐝us you nog

You're the faggot trying to steal a loli away from her family. I say do it 🐝ecause I don't care if you fail. You pro🐝a🐝ly won't get pulled over and the girl sounds like a risk of running away so they pro🐝a🐝ly won't guess you kidnapped her right away

OP has 🐝een chatting up a distur🐝ed loli who wants him to take her away from her family

Someone replaced the fucking letter 🐝 with fucking 🐝's

What letter?

You know which one
The key underneath g and h on your typing device connected to your computer. Not the space key either.