B have you ever open a bottle of champagne? A friend of mine left this here last night and I want to drink it, but I am afraid to pop the cork. Reminds me of the feeling of unmitigating fear I have when popping a tube of biscuits.
How can I pop the cork in such a way that poopie doesn't come out of my butthole?
Insert bottle up anus then pop cork
I was drunk when I opened one last, I used a hammer I think.
Or the dildo?
who the fuck opens champagne sober except for rich fags.
Remove the cap and just gently pull and twist the cork out. It'll come off fine without the cinematic projectile bouncing around the room.
Your boring user.
Oh and I just noticed the corkscrew. You don't need that shit.
shake it up, find some female, aim cork at her face, push out with thumbs.
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No, that is your title now boring.
Take a table knife (rounded kind) and run it down the bottle quickly and hit the cork, it will pop and shoot out fizz like its supposed it, it also makes you look very Cosmopolitan
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If you want to drink the champagne:
Shoot it user, just take out your gun and shoot it.
Got it. Now to drink me some fizzeh bubbleh
this is what i ended up doing. it was terrifying at first, but now i feel confident in decorking champagne bottles now
this stuff is 11% ABV. i wonder if that's a lot. seems like it is. when i look at the bottle and divide it by 10, that's a lot of pure alcohol volume. let's see if i can drink the whole bottle tonight
If you can't finish off one bottle of fizzy pop you should hand in your man card.
Chug the whole thing in one go.
That's not a lot, you'll be moderately drunk but terribly hungover.
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oh shit nigger what are you doing. why the fuck would you pour it into a water bottle? it looks like piss
I assumed he just happened to have his wine bottle on the same table as a piss jug.