Alright, I wanna talk about something with you guys I've posted about a couple times before

Alright, I wanna talk about something with you guys I've posted about a couple times before.

Because like I usually point out I'm a recluse, this site is the majority of my social contact these days aside from with women.

Why do you want to out yourself as a stupid illiterate nigger? If you don't like to read, maybe message boards aren't for your retarded ass and you should keep your stupid gums from flapping, faggot. Fuck you. Seriously, sick of your autistic shit. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck yooooou.

What does that even mean? Are you just sanctioning correct formatting and punctuation to some other website you're obsessed with? I don't know how they type there because I don't go there. If you know this to begin with that means YOU are a redditor, so fuck off back there.

Anyway, I met a girl off a fetish site last month. We were eachother's fetishes, we fucked, she turned it into a one night stand by giving me this lame excuse about how she couldn't see me for two weeks because her terminally ill male cousin was coming to visit.

Far from it, I've stuck to my general "spare and a pair" rule, I'm casually seeing four other girls, two more seriously, the thing is this girl is extremely hot so for that reason I'd love to hit it again, but also I sucked in bed and I don't really like doing the one night stand thing. Also there's a chance she just blew me off because she's bi-polar and she was going into a depressive state or whatever.

Wizards need not apply. Your advice is useless, you're genetic deadends. MGTOW same deal, I respect you more than wizards but I don't need to swear pussy off entirely not to let it control me.

Anyway, there's a new development. Inbetween waiting for one girl to reply on snapchat and another to reply on whatsapp I decided to swipe a bit on tinder just to kill time, and the second result I got was the girl I had a one night stand with. So I right-swiped her, and immediately got a message that we were a match, meaning she saw my face, recognized me and specifically swiped to indicate attraction and desire to fuck. What's more, I've been on Tinder for months and she's never previously popped up so she may have downloaded the app specifically hoping to run into me, or just looking for dick whatever.

Also I saw her at Wal-Mart the other day but I didn't say anything, in part because I was helping my elderly mom pick some shit up. My mom called me out too "Why are you whispering? What are you staring at?" "I saw that girl last month." she took a long look at her and said "You want me to be honest?" and I was like "Not really." and she went "Your ex was way prettier, and this girl looks kind of unkempt."

The ex my mom's referring to incidentally was a gorgeous but batshit crazy borderline so I just said "That is not helping, mom."

forgot to say if pic was related, faggot

Only thematically, as the girl I slept with has huuuuge natural breasts, but she's a brunette with glasses.

So you bragging or just giving us some kind of red pill field report?

You sound like an obnoxious insecure fag. Give me one reason anyone should be interested in your dumb ramblings.

I'm not bragging. I don't think this girl is the average Holla Forumstard's type. She's a single-mom, I met her through a fetish site with a profile that had pictures of her fucking at least one other dude, she has bi-polar. She is not in any way relationship material.

Physically though and in terms of fetishes, she's exactly what I'm into so there's an incredible chemical attraction there. She's an H cup, pale skin, green eyes, glasses, into the obscure hucow fetish, loves sucking dick. I'd just like that to be a regular thing or at least more than once so I can go back to saying I don't do one night stands.

But despite being somewhat genetically lucky, I'm still more or less a social retard, so I'm asking, does the fact that she's right-swiped me on tinder give me a valid pretense to start talking to her again?

I am insecure.

I don't know, boredom, mutual interest as a guy. Whatever.

She was probably thinking the same thing you were. Wondering if you would swipe her. Did she see you at Walmart?

Good. Next time, write that in the OP to help us not waste time.

I think she might have, I'm not entirely sure. I don't think she saw me in the store, but when I finished getting my stuff and putting it in the car my sciatica started acting up, and my mother still wanted to look around the store for a bit, so I just put the seat back and sat in the car to relax my leg for five minutes, and while I was sitting there I saw her walk up to the cart return, though we were in different lanes or whatever and at that moment I was hoping she wouldn't see me because it might look odd that I'm just sitting in the car, but then she pulled out and circled around with her headlights on (it was around six) and drive down the lane I was parked in right passed me, so odds are good if she didn't specifically drive down because she'd seen me, then she still probably saw me as she drove passed.

me too user i don't get out much. I tried to start a skpye thing with some anons just to get my socialising skills up a notch before I went out into the outside world. We did a group call once and that was it.

We're you not giving advice, idiot. We're making fun of you.

we're not giving you advice*

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You're putting her up on a pedestal, mate. Hit her up and go for it, but don't get hung up on that one "unicorn".


Yeah, we're reaching girls in middle school levels here. Just grow a pair and DM her. It will work out or it won't.

You do not belong here.

what the hell is this thread about?

OP is getting caught up in oneitis over a girl who fulfills his very specific human cow fetish.

Who gave these faggots permission to speak on all our behaves?

How is it oneitis though? I specifically mentioned I'm talking to a number of other girls, I just find this one particularly attractive.

In fact, I realized a little while ago today is Monday, the two days she's free are Monday and Friday, she may have specifically chose this way to contact me and now because she wants something tonight. In fact, her location on tinder even suggested she was driving by my apartment a couple times.

And now that's giving me hesitance to respond because I don't feel like fucking tonight. I don't feel like taking a shower or cleaning my apartment, and I just beat off earlier so the dire need isn't there right this second. So I'm debating even saying hi because she could just be at the peak of her manic state brought on by having seen me at wal-mart, and the second I say "hi" she's knocking at my door and I'm scrambling to pick my shit off the floor and throw on some deodorant.

Fuck off normie

www.4chan.org
you will be happy, and we will be happy

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I don't like your attitude OP. I had the perfect advice for you but you blew it son. Now fuck off back to 4gag.

I said "Hey, fancy seeing you here." and my phone immediately died. When I turned it back on she'd replied "Likewise!" and I'm right back to being socially retarded and not knowing what to say even though I've already slept with this chick and she's just given me direct indication she's still into me.

I guess I could set something up for a future occasion and not bring up the cousin thing or bipolar thing until I've already put it back in her. I'll post screenshots if anyone wants 'em.

typing "DTF?" to blunt?

So what the fuck are you asking OP?

stopped reading there

abandon thread, op is fucked

just fucking her from what i understand so OP hasn't gone full retard yet

I *was* asking whether or not her right-swiping me on tinder gave me a valid pretense to get back in touch with her after she blew me off. Which everyone's said yes to. Now I'm nervously navigating re-establishing contact with her.

She's like 90% of what I'm into, the bits I don't like are the single mom and slut bits, but when she's in a manic state she seems really well-adjusted, normal and accommodating. She's also big into video games, hentai, anime and star wars. I'm not that into star wars. Also she's into… Steven Universe… I just avoided talking with her about it at all, this girl's 26. I'm not one to talk though. When I saw her at Wal-Mart she was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, and when we met she had a Fallout Vault Dweller hoodie on, and while I did make a point of putting on a dress shirt to meet her last time, I'm pretty sure I was wearing a Captain America shirt at the grocery store.

I don't even know how to respond to this because I haven't gotten up to shit. "Uh, I uh… walked my dog a lot this week." Everything I can think to say sounds sort of infantile. I got another movie poster, some more video games I ordered came in the mail, my landlord offered to let me avoid paying rent altogether if I came and worked at her new shop because I'm trustworthy, but I don't know if I really want to take on another job at the moment (should I even mention this? Doesn't it kind of make me sound poor? I mean, I am, but…)

Incidentally, I'll toss in a picture I snapped from the girl I was chagtting up on snapchat. I hate that program, I didn't realize they'd updated to it tells them when you take a screenshot now.

EVERYONE JUMP SHIP, AVOID THE DEADLY CHILD SUPPORT PIRANHAS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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You fucked up by responding with nonsense small talk.

You should have replied "when are we going to hang out again?" or "let's do something" anything that gets her next to you physically. At least this way you'd be able to gauge if she was blowing you off because you're a fucking creep or not. S-so h-ow are things? Fuck off.

She says she didn't see me at wal-mart.

I cant stop fucking laughing! This is what a Normie has become in todays world.A Total fucking retard. God damn I'm so glad I am nothing like you OP.

No need to even try to make fun of him. He makes fun of himself. Case in point as i continue to outline his mental retardedness.

HAHAHA Nigga you are beyond a normie your next level.

She saw you, who can miss some autism guru such as yourself

THIS IS THE STUPID FAGGOT THAT POSTED SOME STUPID SHIT ABOUT HOW HE DIDN'T LIKE THIS BITCH, THEN "BECAUSE HE WAS DIGNIFIED" DECIDED TO DUMP HER. THEN *DESPERATE FUCKING FAGGOT* SEES HER AND THEN DECIDES HE IS A BITCH FAGGOT AND THEN GOES CHASING AFTER HER LIKE A LITTLE BETA BITCH HE IS. THE FIRST TIME HE RUNS INTO. FUCKING PATHETIC DUDE. CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SHE BURNS YOU. AGAIN!

Petite, flat-chested women bang like a dunny door in a windstorm, believe me!

We'd been friends for ages, and we kinda friend-zoned each other for about 3 years. One night, we just kinda went "fuck it", and hit the sack together. It was one of the most erotic sexual times of my entire life! She was an absolute demon in bed! She was a country girl - growing up on a farm must have give her 'ideas'! No-one would ever know just looking at her - she was a "Plain Jane" in many ways, but she was gorgeous as well (in my eyes). Twas like she was trying to outdo herself to blow away the stereotype of 'plain-looking' flat-chested girls… I lost count how many times I creamed her muffin that night… she was a demon… she bit, scratched, howled… I'm getting horny at the mere memory!

The best part is - 20 years later, we are still really good friends! Yes, amazingly, our friendship survived the 'one-off fuckfest' experience!

Another added bonus was - no-one ever found out about it! None of our friends were none the wiser - even her housemate, whom we were both good friends with! If only she knew - the older housemate would have killed me! I had to wear high-necked skivvies for a fortnight afterwards, just to hide the bite and scratch marks around my neck!

I always dreamed that *I* would 'break' my petite friend in the cot…. but, in reality - it was the other way round!

We still joke about it, all these years later.

True story. Fuck you if you don't believe it.

wew lad

You joke, but I want to believe OP's story. It's beautiful how pathetic he sounds.

I won't deny being a bit spergy, but I don't live with my mom.

…No, that's someone else, how could I dump her? We were never dating. We met one night.

Dude, Chinese people aren't short. I know one of one who's in the NBA!

the story still sounds familiar. i'll be keeping an eye on you.

She totally saw you, just wanted to see how you'd react
And I thought to myself I was a loser

That doesn't mean that it is appropriate to post it here, you dumb cunt.
This isn't "Ask Heloise", this isn't even a discussion board. It is an image sharing board.

So let me repeat what we have told you every time you post this fucking dreck:
We don't give a shit. Kill yourself, you beta faggot, we don't care how as long as you GTFO. Your bullshit doesn't belong here. Period.

So are you, cuck. You think 3DPD is gonna let you sire children when she's got 50 other men she fucks around with to choose from?

That is some funny shit right there.
+1

I realize OP has copped a lot of flab in recent years for not straying too far from comedy and tucking into much meatier rolls, but there's a lot more to this man than meets the ribeye, and it turns out he's really an all-round good guy.
If everyone on here could get off their high whores, face the cold hard fats, and stop pudding him down for two seconds, they'd realize being a fry in the ointment isn't always a piece of cake.
If there is subway you could find it in your hearts to show the milf of human kindness towards Jonah, you might come to see the reason he's regarded widely by his peers, and is, pound for pound, a true heavyweight of the Hollywood scene.
As Jonah himself once said, "when I'm sorting the beef from the chaff I always beer in mind, every hotdog has his day when the chips are brown. You've just gotta keep your eggs held high and remember that a burger in the hand is worth chewing the bush."

You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I eat too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted bitch like you… but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. My wife likes me. My fans like me. ‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.

Why would anyone read that wall of text? This isn't Tumblr, Holla Forums isn't for blogging.

tl;dr

Just because I know fags fuck one-another in the asshole doesn't mean I partake. Retard

Spazzing

IT'S 2017 AND NORMIE CUCKS STILL TAKE A WOMAN'S WORD FOR IT

SHE WAS SHIT TESTING YOU

YOU FIRST SAID YOU ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN FUCKING HER. NOW YOU ARE SHOWING ONEITIS SIGNS

Ask yourself this question:

If maintaining this relationship/your facade of normality is giving you this much anxiety, is it really worth it?

Find a girl that doesn't make you so anxious you make a twat of yourself on Holla Forums, that's a start.

Out of paper mache

tldr, fuck off cancer

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