Gonna do it again in 7 hours. Not gonna hit that same store again, this time it'll be something very expensive

AHAHAHAHAHASHAAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

topkek

You cheeky bastard got me good!

I have a guide saved especially for this question

Preparation:
Leave your wallet and phone at home, comb your hair and shave. Dress like a decent, well-educated middle class boy with a good upbringing.
So, a clean shirt and casual pants. Put on some cologne.
I make a shopping list. It helps me remember what I need and it looks super legit to others if you walk around with one. Surely no thief would use a shopping list?
I use my backpack to collect all the goods. Most people just look at me and think I'm a regular college student using his backpack to shop. (which isn't entirely untrue, haha)
Before entering the store, walk around the surrounding area and plan an escape route.
An escape route should have a lot of short streets and corners so in case someone is following you, you can quickly shake them off.
So no long streets where they can still spot you when you're out of breath.
I've only been chased twice though and that was years ago, most employees will not chase you but having an escape route planned is:
a. Just common sense
b. Good for courage/confidence inside the store. Being prepared feels good.

Execution:
When you enter the store, take out your shopping list.
Now comes the crucial part. Shoplifting is all about ignoring your dominant impulses.You must repress the urge to look around you like a paranoid peter.
I've seen plenty of people get caught because they behave all jittery and scared,
which of course is a natural way to behave when you're aware that you're taking a risk, and doing something illegal.
But nevertheless. The majority of shoplifters get caught because they're behaving suspiciously. Only a small percentage actually gets caught red handed.
Take the item, look at the price, just take off your backpack, open it, and put it in. ACT LIKE YOU ARE JUST SHOPPING. Act like the rest of the customers.
Repeat this, walk around the store with your shopping list, and act natural. When you want some meat, compare different meats, take some time, but not too much.
When you have your goods, take something small to buy. I bought two sandwiches. They cost me 90 cents. Go to the cash till, and if there are multiple,
seek out the youngest female cashier. Older, experienced ones are more likely to ask you to open your backpack.
I sometimes do a little smalltalk with the girl at the cash till, I actually did so today. It works charms.
Standing there, look around with a bored look and make sure no employee is hurrying towards you. If you're being paranoid,
try to stay cool and make sure the employee hurrying towards you is actually after YOU. If so, walk calmly past the cashier,
head in a hurried pace towards the exit and once you're out, run like a nigger.
This is as much as I can tell you, the rest of the act you will learn from experience. I was very anxious my first few times, I believe I was 15 at the time.

Guau, que malote, has robado del Carrefour.

ikr?

yeah, what a fag, imr?

Jesus christ dude you do this a lot.

how many times you got caught yet?

I'm only posting this to bring more life to Holla Forums

What's better than some OC law breaking, huh?

To those 9gaggers here who want to 'bring me to 'justice' , bring it on, fags.

You forget how cushy their prisons are.

How did you get past top tier boss Quincey?

I've never had the pleasure of being in one, so I wouldn't know.

Did you graduate high school, lad?

You should try selling it to the thieves guild.

As a minor I got caught, yeah.

Prison sucks regardless, m8. Fuck that shite.

Long time ago fam. I'm an experienced shoplifter now, I've learned the trade since I was 14. Don't worry, lad.

All I am trying to do is contribute so edgy OC to the board. If some fags are going to be white knights for some reason and work with the cope I ain't gonna post fresh webms of me stealing from a grocery store anymore.

i appreciate the webms and the oc, fuck the haters

On a scale of 1-10 how obsessed are you with niggers?

Ever go anywhere besides a grocery store/walmart style building?

post them

Stick each bottle up your ass!

Slavs are White Niggers, we've established that already.

I No one gives a shit if you post or not. The split second of amusement I get from whatever webm I open is the same as when I see that shitty dove. You don't have anything to offer other than you're a dumb nigger willing to swipe things for our amusement.

...

this post was less amusing than the purple bird

Good.

Just checking in; any plans to stop being a nigger in the future?

I used to shoplift back when i was in high school. got caught at a walmart and made the dumb mistake of following the LP employee instead of walking away or bolting. I was taken to the back room, the police were called and took me to the station. I had to write an apology letter so it wouldn't count as a first offense. that was 7 years ago and I haven't done it since.

someone who isn't me used to steal from the school canteen; it would always be crowded, they'd just line up with friends who were legitimately buying things and put a drink or something in a pocket inside their coat. another guy who had stopped caring and i think wanted to be expelled would walk in with a sports bag, casually walk around putting stuff into it with no regard if someone saw, and walk out with maybe 10 packets of chips, drinks, etc.. he only got caught when some people who didnt like him snitched and they checked security camera footage, until then the staff there were oblivious

I used to steal drinks from the bottom shelves of the vending machines in high school. my hands were long and skinny so i could just reach up and grab them. one day a staff member saw me smiled and walked away. a week later the flaps that you push up to get your drink had been replaced with the angled ones blocking people from sticking their hands in there.

Don't most shops have gates which start beeping when you walk through them with items that haven't been scanned? What do you do then? Also what do you do about being recognised if you go to the same shop if the gates beeped last time and you had to run? What if they do ask you do open your bag?

I just go.

I can also just NOT post this shit here, if that's what you want. Gonna do it regardless of your feedback in general.

Only reason I'm posting this is to bring some life to the board.

Wow you got lucky no employee did their job and reacted to the alarm.

Yeah just keep posting. Its better then the normie bird meme being spammed or the continious gay threads.

this

eurothief you are a faggot, you steal, which if someone did to you, you would rage. and you cause the cost of goods to go up via inflation because retailers pass the cost of losses and hiring anti theft personnel on to us, who don't steal. you are selfish and should feel shame.

Tot tier burbon.

Niggers only have two emotions: "ayy yo gimme dem freebies" and "crime".

boy aren't you guys a barrel of fun

I take what I want. I only abide to my own rules. Stores don't charge their employees for theft, that's a myth.

Stealing from shops is morally justifiable because shops overcompensate everything as it is.

They throw out 30% of their shit. I'm just taking stuff that woul've been thrown out by shops either way.

Have fun being a beta nigger

This is true. Worked at Jewel for awhile, they throws out so much food its ridiculous.

Nah, son.

Shit nigger, I take what I want. You go ahead and serve others like the idiot you are.

Spoken like an absolute nigger.

especially with baked goods, i think they're required by law to not sell them after a day, i've heard you can get a lot of free food by dumpster diving near bakeries after they close for this reason

no eurothief, now you are rationalizing your own selfishness. everyone wants everything for free and they want it now. but nearly all of us realize if we acted in such a hedonistic way society would collapse and soon we would live in a world like the walking dead. people like you that steal only to satisfy your needs at the expense of other's degrade society. rethink your ways eurothief. you are not making any deep statements about the rights of the 99%, you're just trying to enrich yourself.

if you want to bitch about people being selfish and ruining society, bitch about people with power, who exploit their workers, charge ridiculous prices for dodgy products, people who bring in thousands of refugees, etc. etc. rather than complaining about the actions of one man who isn't going to change anything. Rationalisation? Yes. Worth your effort when put intp perspective? No.

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