You get 3 wishes from a Djinn as reward for freeing him from his enchanted prison

Anything goes except for wishing for changing events that happened more than 500 years ago, making sapient beings fall in love more wishes, and bringing back those that have already died.


My 3 wishes:

1. Kathleen Kennedy gets stabbed to death in her sleep shortly after Lucasfilm gets sold to Disney.
2. Gloria Steinem, along with 2 of her closest friends, get killed in a car crash on a freeway.
3. I get a modded Panasonic Q(basically a gamecube that can play CD's and DVDs along with Gamecube games) with 2 controllers and 1 4mb memory card.

Protip: first one counts as two you dumb mongoloid.

Sage

Win the lotto,, be twenty years younger. Save last wish for special occasion.

...

the allies lose the war

1. 1000kg of coke
2. I become a futa catgirl
3. Chicago Bears go undefeated and win the Superb Owl

1. get inhumane jelqing abilities that make me grow 1 inch per stroke and makes my girth grow at the same rate of my jelqing
2. my penis can't get reverse jelqed in case i get sent to hell and have demons reverse jelq my penis into a 1 mm stub
3. i become the super admin of the jelqing forum i go on, www.nutquaking-jelqers.com so i can finally ban dylan who criticizes my jelqing technique and makes fun of me whenever he is online

1. Immortality
2. Potential to gain power equal to the djinn
step 3: profit?
3. Best friend/Lover also gains immortality

1.) physical removal of all mud people from White nations
2.) nuclear power never happened
3.) last one is for me: eternal youth

Literally how?

Fucking loser your jelqing technique is GARBAGE

fucking hell dylan stop following every intarnat website i go on you fucking asshole

More genies, set for life.

1. Humanity hits technological marvel level to the point we are capable of interstellar travel.
2. Proof of afterlife/quantum continuation is solidified.
3. 90% of the human race is wiped out from illness on conditions that I get to survive and the majority of third-world countries are wiped out.

1. Antia Sharkeesian dies while being born
2. Lindsay of Channel Awesome gets shot by swat police for starting riots.
3. Nickelodeon goes out of business by 2030.

checked, but user whats a superb owl?

1-immortality at the age 30
2-ownership of 2k tonnes of gold (or the equivalent of so by whatever standards the day holds)
3-removal of inferior genes

immortality
secret of alchemy
powers akin to a messiah

...

1. Hitler wins
2. I turn into a cute Aryan girl
3. Immortality at 12

...

...

CHECKED!

Wow talk about dijinn
Awwww I want to molest a young Brook shields. Who do I have to get in contact to make a clone???
Otherwise Im going to fly over there and yadda yadda Magic Girlfriend
Also quit mixing lolicon and child models or I'm going to fucking lunch a hole into your face

▶Anonymous (You) 02/09/17 (Thu) 17:48:52 No.6732290>>6732299
Give me back my Magic girlfriend.
I think any nudity of any woman is child pornography because I have an IQ of 180 and every one of them seems like a simple minded child.
How am I supposed to tell the difference between someones who is 14 or 41 if theyre so stupid as to be confusable?
I blame the state and I need to figure out who I'm going to beat into oblivion

▶Anonymous (You) 02/09/17 (Thu) 17:52:16 No.6732299>>6732300
Obviously I'm not supposed to 'trick' children into having sex with me. So it legal to have sex with a retard??? Because it feels the same when I try to negotiate any sexual relationship without leveraging my authoirty.
So what the flying fuck you stupid motherfuckers

▶Anonymous (You) 02/09/17 (Thu) 17:53:12 No.6732300
There is actually little difference between someone with a 100 IQ, a 70 IQ, and a fucking child.
How the fuck am I supposed to have a life when stupid fucks like you are running the government

▶Anonymous (You) 02/09/17 (Thu) 17:55:39 No.6732308
I could fuck someone new tomorrow if I wanted to leverage my millions of dollars and my intelligence, but I don't, because it would be like getting a child to get into my van with candy.
Ohhhh I get it the value and impact of sex on children is more important than that of someone with purchasing power and the right to vote.
You don't make any sense and I'm going to stomp the light out of you.

▶Anonymous (You) 02/09/17 (Thu) 17:58:36 No.6732321
YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED.
I CAN BARELY TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND A BABY WHO THINKS A DICK IS A PACIFIER

Omnipotence
I can never ever lose said omnipotence by any means ever
He can keep the last one for himself.

that's a lot of autism

1. China never became Communist
2. The Star Wars EU is not de-canonized save for the following material: the Ewoks cartoon, Han Solo adventures, certain DC comics adaptations, The 1978 Holiday Special, and The Force Unleashed 2.
3. Either Lowtax Kyanka or one of the pre-cuckening era former moderators buy 4chan.org form Hiroyuki, thus making that person the new Admin of halfchan.

Go away /phile/

1) gass all kikes
2) kill all muslims
3) burn all niggers

...

1st, an FTL capable destroyer with a stealth drive

2nd, capable weaponry with the destroyer

3rd, immortality which cannot be revoked

1. HIV/AIDS never existed
2. a dream cube where I can vividly experience dreams of any kind I wish to have.
3. twitter allows sharing to voat.co

1. ADL Never existed
2. The Majapahit kingdom never fell
3. Donald decides to compromise with the Plains tribes and openly offers to buy some parts of the land in question from them with CASH.

1. Putin dies of liver cancer
2. My house has a subterranean base two stories in height that can be reached by both elevator and a hidden hatch that reveals a ladder.
3. Comet Tempel 1 crashes into Mecca the next time it comes into the inner solar system.

BUMP BUMP

1. ZML.com never got taken down
2. Holla Forums cuts of ALL TIES with the Goldwater and brietbart.
3. Jim goes to prison in Oslo, Norway after getting caught by Norwegian airport security guards with photos and videos of pedo content during a trip to that country.

*off

1. Mcdonalds brings back the Mcpizza.
2. The DMCA gets struck as unconstitutional, and is thus killed off.
3. www.4chan.org is bought by either Richard Lowtax Kyanka or Milo, who then proceed to fire 60% of the current moderation and janitor team.

I just need one wish : Never lose lottery.
Oh wait maybe two : I am never banned from participating anything.
Oh wait maybe three : I am never banned from participating anywhere.

1.) Kill off every Muslim on Earth
2.) We can all now breath in space
3.) Elon Musk Solar City invents a Solar Panel with 99.9 percent efficiency

They had fuckin pizza?

I have 3 wishes left.

I want one more wish.

Now I have 3 left.

I want one more wish.

…

Profit

1. I wish Djinn was a rat
2. I wish Djinn lost all his rat hair
3. I wish I had gf

I hope your flags for ironies sake faggot.

1. All Jews get teleported into the Stratosphere
2. Everyone below 100 IQ becomes permanently infertile
3. Unlimited gains

1 let me redo my life with all the knowledge I've gained so far
2 make the world less politically correct and triggered
3 give Hitler a second chance at life

Easy

Why would you want to live on this shitty planet with these shitty people forever?

1) destroy the jews
2) destroy the jews
3) one last destroy the jews run, just in case any stragglers got away the first 2 times.

Because with lots of free time, you can turn it into less shitty time

>Practice infinitely to get a gf

1:
2:
3:

Djinn pls

1: No more white people
2: No more straight people
3: More muslims to my country so that we can all live in peace together.

Muslims are so peaceful, they even say that Islam is the religion of peace. I KNOW that they will respect my pronouns, unlike these white assholes.

>Practice infinitely to get a gf
>not going back in time and stopping yourself in the past from going back in time to stop yourself, creating a timeline with two versions of you in it, then going back even further to get your duplicate to start hormone replacement therapy shortly before puberty begins, in order for them to become a qt trap in the present, so you can become your own gf

Wow, it's fucking amateur hour over here.

KYS dumblr

1. George Soros died a long time ago
2. Eternal youth Immortality until I decide when I die
3. Have the ability to transform into a cute girl and can change back when I please.

1. Diane Fenistein died before her third birthday.
2. JJ Abrams dies of cancer.
3. I have X-ray vision.

1. A new Jordyn Jones gf waifu
2. Unlimited stamina (Never have to sleep)
3. 18 year old health for life

1. Supreme court decides that laws banning polygamy inherently are unconstitutional.
2. Saudi Arabia breaks up into several countries
3. The boards >>>/s8s/ and
>>>/otomad/ allow fortune-checking.

1. The World bank never existed
2. Zaire still exists
3. Indonesia abolishes the Pancasila entirely.