I'm socially retarded but I want to create a kino. What should I do

I'm socially retarded but I want to create a kino. What should I do.

Do Drive.

Do Drive without any dialogue.

The viewer must constantly figure out what is being conveyed through facial expressions alone.

1. Abandon Tark and embrace supreme autist Godard as your idol.
2. Run an ad in Le Film Français saying, "user seeks a soul mate to make kino with."
3. Meet and marry a Danish cutie.
4. Make kino with her.

Livestream your suicide.

Act like David Lynch.

Kino is easy user.

Did he really do that?
He looks like stephen colbert.

It's called "Blow Job" and goes on for over 30 minutes.
"Empire" might be more to your liking, it's just eight hours of Empire State Building.

I've had the same thought, how much goes into making a movie? Can a complete amateur who's never gone to film school or whatever actually make something good? I don't know anything about different shots or lighting techniques.

I thought about reading some of Lloyd Kaufman's books on the matter since he has a whole series of them on making indie films.

I always figured if I came into some money I'd actually try and make one and finish a good, tight little script on it. It'd probably be a horror movie, one of the untouched Lovecraft properties since those are all in the public domain.

Then it would be a matter of renting a location, probably an old mansion since so many stories take place in that setting, then building a few stygian sets complimented with green screen, then I'd need to hire a composer with some talent for horror, then I'd have to find a special effects studio good enough that the shots wouldn't be laughable, but small enough they'd be willing to work with total amateurs, then I'd need to find a couple really talented, creative practical effects make up artists for a couple key scenes, and then I'd put up ads and contact local playhouses and such and try to get a nice cast of complete unknowns who can actually act.

That's where the idea pretty much stops for me. I don't know about camera angles or cinematic tricks to get great performances, union rules or how to work out payments or even what's fair to pay everyone.

The 2004 movie "Primer" was made on a budget of $12,000, made by people who didn't go to film school and turned out really good.

That isn't difficult, though, I could do that.

the absolute madman

im not even joking but the HP series is practically a clinic in filmmaking

stuff like this

sorry wrong vid lmao

Harry Potter?
Are you trying to say it's good or bad?

It's clinically plebeian filmmaking is what he meant?

What?

Bad idea, OP. This board is infested with Holla Forumslacks who think the Star Wars prequels are actually good. Just go to film school, you should be fine.

I want to find an abandoned train tunnel and film Metro 2033 shot-for-shot.
It's kino at it's finest.

Hell, I could move to Russia and make it for dirt cheap and on location with native accents.


We only like them so we can weed out the newfags who rebel against us.

So, like Todd Howard for Holla Forums then?

Holla Forums is for discussion among patricians with high class taste in kino, if you can't appreciate the visual poetry of the Star Wars prequels then GTFO

This fucking meme is going too far.

Autism is required to make kino.
Kino requires complete disconnection from the real world. You must become something different from human to produce kino.

Start small. Build scenes.