Good evening gentlemen, I'm here tonight to recount an epic tale of tard. The following events took place several years ago and ruined about a year and a half of my life. All the names and a few minor details have been changed for the sake of anonymity, but otherwise I will be recounting the events as accurately as I can remember them. I have this shit per-typed, so there shouldn't be much time between updates. Buckle up.
Let's start with some background:
Now that the stage is set, we'll get things rolling in part 2.
Chase Miller
Part 2, Greg's first attack :
Just for some context, Greg has paranoid schizophrenia. Most of the shit he pulls is the result of delusions he has when he doesn't take his meds. However, I didn't learn this until after I no longer lived with him. cont.
Zachary Scott
Part 3, The tantrum continues:
And thus concludes the first of the many tantrums I would witness over the next year.
Julian Davis
Part 4, Greg the stalker:
This next series of events starts a little while before I moved in with Greg and Bob, and takes place over the course of about six months. All this stuff happened in-between the other incidents involving Greg and will be referred to in other sections.
Easton Nelson
Part 5, This is why we can't have flammable things:
>From what I heard, he flipped the table, then ran outside, grabbed the lighter fluid from the barbecue, and started pouring it all over the back porch and threatening to burn down the house
Ayden Walker
Part 6, The second attack:
Cut to later that night Don't see Greg for another day and a half, from what I heard he was at his parents
William Adams
Part 7, Greg the free runner:
He got up on the roof a few times after that, but that was the only incident I witnessed in it's entirety
Benjamin Flores
Part 8, Greg's brain on drugs:
Eli Jackson
Part 9, Greg VS Bob:
Oliver Lopez
Part 10, Greg finds Jesus:
Cut to about a week after Greg got kicked out of church
Henry Powell
Part 11, Greg VS my computer:
We're nearing the end of the Greg saga, as by this point he's started looking for his own apartment Cut to the next day
Carter Wood
Part 12, The final tantrum:
Sorry if that was a bit anticlimactic. Toward the end I was trying to avoid Greg as much a s possible, otherwise I might be able to go into a bit more detail.
Luke Anderson
Part 13, Greg's other incidents:
Here I'm going to detail a few more minor incidents involving Greg that aren't really worthy of their on section
There's an elementary school across the street form our house
There were also a couple times he tried to fake seizures, not quite sure what the motivation behind that was.
And thus concludes the saga of Greg
Eli Walker
Part 14, Bob:
I haven't talked much about Bob up until now, but he too had issues. Bob was pleasant and fairly docile most of the time, but if he ever got angry he would gain some major tard strength and go completely apeshit. While he was nowhere near as bad as Greg overall, Bob was way more destructive when he got mad, and unlike Greg he could have beaten most of the staff to a pulp if he wanted to.
Bob had one incident that would play out more or less the same way every two or three months, with a couple exceptions. A typical Bob incident went like this: In the time I lived him Bob went through three TVs and no less than 5 Xbox 360s.
Some of the more interesting variations of the Bob cycle I witnessed:
I have other stories about Bob, but they're all minor things that don't really fit the theme of this epic.
Hunter Barnes
Part 15, Enter Dave:
About a month after Greg moved out the company found another tard to take his place, that tard was Dave.
Thomas Ortiz
Part 16, Dave calls the cops:
Cut to a couple weeks later
David Baker
Part 17, Dave gets the mail:
Unfortunately that's the last real story I have for you gentlemen tonight. I thought I would have more stories about Dave, but he mostly just had meltdowns that all played out pretty much exactly like the ones I already described. I got a GF shortly after the events of this last story and started spending most of my free time at her place until we moved in together few months later. I'm still with her and am doing much better now. I hope you all enjoyed this epic and may you never find yourself in a similar situation. Goodnight.
Zachary Scott
ty for the stories user
Michael Gonzalez
based OP
Ayden Carter
Great stories, OP. Great reading material while I drank my tequila
Landon Martinez
Thanks OP. This was a nice bedtime story for me
Parker Young
all op
Andrew Thompson
Fucking hell its like fats magee all over again. Moar tard stories OP
Cameron Cox
Did this since we need to preserve these stories.
Mason Russell
...
Henry Mitchell
Bump for OC visibility
Andrew Edwards
Before I get started, someone tell me if there is any hot retard fucking in OP's story.
Jackson Long
OP here, no retard fucking but your comment reminded me of an incident that completely slipped my mind when I was first writing this