How do I get rid of an obnoxious stray cat Holla Forums...

but where's the fun in that?

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Never had any around here.

kill yourself

you are lucky. if you see your neighbors feedings stray cats, go on an autistic rampage and stop it before you have to deal with ammonia smells cat blood and the constant sound of "rawr" worse than a furry convention

Just kill it you pussy, no pun intended.

Google snare traps then make a path forcing the cat to pass through it, you can study what to use to lure it

If I see that cat ONE moar fucking time…

Kill the cat and webm it

Here you go OP

See, harming cats is nigger tier.

You can get a piece of chicken, raw with the skin and everything, and you can leave it on antifreeze for a day or two. It doesn't necessarily needs to be immersed. Just make sure it really gets into it, you might also inject it. And feed it to them. Make sure nobody sees you do it, you can leave it maybe on your backyard or someplace nobody will see it, or see you leave it. And they'll get pretty sick, most likely they'll die.
You can also give them water with Alka-Setzer, but that one is trickier, because it still needs to be active to work. Cats cannot burp, so there's a big chance the cat will implode.
You can also put just poison on the food, make sure it's not too much or they'll not eat it. And just give them whatever, they'll go crazy for tuna. The same poison you'll use for roaches or spiders. They'll get really sick too.
Source: In my neighborhood, me and my girlfriend have decided to kill all the fucking stay cats, because they come to our backyard to shit, piss and fight, and it's fucking annoying. We've done the chicken shit. We've killed apparently 4 cats, that we know of, (a neighbor told us he found them dead, and we just acted surprised) probably more.
At the moment, there's only two cats left.
We always put the food in our backyard, they always go for it.
We've never done the Alka-Setzer shit, but it's a "known" thing that many people I've heard, say it happens.

I need to see that.

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If you kill yourself, you won't see the cat any any more. All your problems will disappear.

Another option is to get the people feeding them to actually adopt them and put them inside their house as indoor cats.

I understand your pain OP. I haven't had to do it myself but luckily there's a neighbor not too far away who takes it upon himself to poison the strays. People who feed stray cats need to be locked up. It's their fault the little shits get run over, wake up people at night with their fighting and fucking, and are generally nuisances. Yeah it sucks when they die long drawn out deaths but the things can have multiple litters a year so the circle of life continues.

adopt him and have him as your best friend

The problem with this is that all it takes is for one neighbor to accuse you of poisoning the cat, and you will be in jail for it. Anti-freeze is the first thing they look for, and it is very obvious when a cat is killed by using it.

However….there is a better method.

Aspirin. Grind up a dozen plain aspirin, mix the powder in with a can of tuna and put it out for the little bastards. It causes kidney failure in the cats, but will be out of their system before they die so it is pretty much not traceable. Since diseases which cause kidney failure in strays are very common, nobody will think twice about it.

The Alka-Seltzer thing works on the same principle, and has nothing to do with cats inability to burp. Cats burp and vomit all the damn time. user is probably thinking of seagulls, which will indeed explode if fed alka seltzer.

get it spayed or neutered.

The problem with this is that all it takes is for one neighbor to accuse you of poisoning the cat, and you will be in jail for it. Asprin is the first thing they look for, and it is very obvious when a cat is killed by using it.

However….there is a better method.

Bleach. Get a gallon of bleach, mix in some tuna fish. Put in some mayo and relish to taste. It causes death in all animals, but it is easy to obtain,
so it's pretty easy to do. Since suicides from bleach are very common, nobody will think twice about it when you drink the bleach-fish mixture.

WTF?
cats won't eat anything that has bleach in it, you dumbshit

fuck you, user
you are just mad because other user spilled the beans on how to kill stray cats
you know what?
I say good!
fuck stray cats
fuck people who create stray cats by not having their cats fixed and allowing them to run free
and fuck you too

pic related

Spray your property with predator urine. You can get coyote urine, bobcat urine or wolf urine pretty easy. I think you can get it on amazon. They won't cone around. And if they do there are motion activated sprinklers just for this purpose.