Holy fucking shit I'm in trouble

Holy fucking shit I'm in trouble

Some background info.

So here's how it went down.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!
I'm fucking serious now, I know most of you come here for the lulz, but I need some serious advice.
I can't tell my folks yet since we haven't decided anything. I don't even want the baby, but I'm sure I'll have to pay for it.

Holy fucking shit I'm panicking here.

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paternity test! she got knocked up by someone else and now she's trying to take you for a ride.
of course it's possible that it's yours but you shouldn't agree to anything before it's proven.

tell us about the end of the sex.

Did you jizz entirely in the condom?
Did you fuck her at all without condom?
Where did the condom go when you were done?
Did you spill any jizz on/in her?


Secondary questions:
How valuable does she THINK you are? Did you give her the impression you are super rich and connected?
Did she have any tattoos you would only see if she was naked?
Did she seem like she knew what she was doing during sex and thus was lieing about being a virgin herself?


Answer some or more of these questions and you will get better answers to your own.

Nice questions, user. OP, get talking!

bingo

you cant get a paternity test done without the mother's permission. If she's rusing him, he has no way of proving it.

He said they were struggling to get it in, so it looks like either her or him (Probably op) didnt know what the fuck they were doing.

But the condom disposal is key, theres no telling if she fished it out of where ever you threw it, OP

Also a third question you could ask is was the condom yours or did she give you one

Did you throw away the condom somewhere she couldn't get it? Girls are crazy user. I knew a girl who dug a condom out of the dumpster just to trap a man. Always flush condoms if you're screwing around.

request a DNA test, make the government pay for it, become a lazy NEET-dad

inducing a miscarriage through chemical means is easy as fuck
just get some shit from phanrmacy and slip all of it into her food and drink

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also

whose condom was it?

hahaha what a cuck
the bitch wants to scam you into a child and marriage
you thought sex is for free? haha a hooker would be 100 times cheaper
I bet it's not even your child

Call her fucking bluff, user. She's lying to you. Here's what really happened.


She has nothing on you, user. She legally cannot force you to take care of the child unless she proves it is yours.

Call her bluff. If it's not yours, do a victory dance idgaf

If it is yours, well, suck it up and parent the shit out of that kid. Be an awesome dad.

This. Demand a DNA test.

THIS

yes. she can. courts don't give two shits who the real father is, their only concern is the welfare of the child (not really, they only care about the mother because they don't want to look sexist) so they'll drag you over hot coals until you fucking pay for it, using no evidence but the mother's word that you're the father.

In a lot of places it's actually illegal to get a DNA test done if the mother doesn't want it.

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Let's say OP lives in a place where it is not illegal to demand a DNA test. It's at least worth a shot, right? I mean for all we know he could luck out and the judicial system in his town could actually be, you know, just

X: doubt.

that doesn't happen.

He doesn't seem to have many other options than to try

he doesn't have any options. he is now paying a woman's shoe fund for 18 years. that is his new reality.

Suicide then? Murder suicide?

If you're gonna do a murder suicide, OP, throw off the cops by shaking things up a bit and doing the suicide part first

Apparently you missed the part where he said he was working tech support.

See this is why pretending to be a normie is a bad idea, you will make the same bad decisions they make.

No, he shouldn't be working tech support with a comp sci degree.

Yes he should. Market is flooded, and he clearly didn't make any contacts/do any internships in college, resulting in his now current, shit job state.

This sounds like a pedo dream if the baby is a girl. I would be ecstatic if I was in your situation OP.

If you don't like my idea, then do what everyone else is saying and get a DNA test.

Also another thing she said she was a version did you break the hymen? and the blood an stuff because if not it's def what this guy is

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you're 22 and the way it sounds poor as fuck, if shes 3/10 she probs has shit genetics, whatever you need to get yourself in the mindset but you could cause a miscarriage theres certain foods that will cause it to happen, just an idea

This a million times.

Total lying piece of shit Woman GTFO bitch.

lmao fucking 3dpd

i hope she fucks you over hard.

Exactly.

What if it's a boy

She's already missed 2-3 periods.

wut

good luck and get fucked.

So, an instruction manual for manslaughter?

She doesn't have shit on you. 3DPD tend to do this to try and gain control over you to milk you of your money. Don't feel obligated unless DNA tests are done. Even then there's a book titled, "50 Things You're Not Supposed To Know" by Russ Kick suggesting DNA tests are flawed

This is why I take pride in my virginity. I don't need to risk getting a chick preggers or getting a dick rotting disease. The virgins with waifus of the world are the real winners

Congratulations to soon to be father.

You'll get used to the idea. Children are one of the very few things worth a damn in this world.

ye

Don't accept that it's yours, say you will have a DNA test because it's not yours, etc. what other anons have already said; if you don't accept responsibility I can't see how you can be forced to pay for it unless it's proven yours. Hopefully your insistence will make her give up if she's lying, and maybe even get little Tyrone aborted (unless it is yours, in which case you're fucked unless you hit her in the stomach (disclaimer; joke).
If you can afford it contact a lawyer; if you can't afford one ''go to an ask a lawyer subreddit (I'm certain they exist) and ask there'.'

fuck, forgot how to format the bit about going to reddit was meant to be censored, but that's probably your best free alternative

faggot

hey fam worst case scenario he does it i dont want it coming back to me legally, even if it's just for peace of mind it's worth putting there

you will now live in a cardboard box because your appartment will be too expensive after alimony and child support.

pussy faggot. be a man. take responsibility for your shit, like based me

my cousin was divorce-raped in his last marriage and he told me he only had to pay for her for a few months as he did not impregnate her. He told me if he had to pay longer, he would have strangled her with his own hands and go to jail. Then the idiot married again last year. Some men desire the life of a slave

ja you´re so fucked nigga

im sry user, i just cant be that based; besides, i gave a direct instruction whereas you just posted a picture; i had more need to post a disclaimer

you're still a pussy, but i see your point. Holla Forums is compromised after all. welp, fuck me if i give a shit.

It's fucking self-damaging too since they'll be stuck with a little shitstain crotchfruit that she'll have to raise alone. I don't think these types of people have any idea about the mess they get themselves into.

dont worry dude, you can't get someone pregnant through a condom.

the stats showing condoms are only 99% effective are because people fucking lie and use them wrong. if the condom didn't explode when you came there's absolutely no way.

This is someone else's kid that she is trying to pawn off on you. Stop talking to her. Let her have the kid. If she wants anything from you, she has to prove paternity. If you stop talking to her I guarantee she will eventually leave you alone.

The only thing you need to do is tell her you'll take a paternity test after the baby is born, but you won't be speaking to her until then.

She will get the message and try to find someone else to scam. Chances are she isn't even pregnant. If she asks you for money for an abortion or anything like that, DONT GIVE IT TO HER. girls have been doing shit like this since the dawn of civilization.

B-b-but condoms are magic and stop everything user!

the bright side is that she can't make him pay child support without a paternity test.

Just tell her that you dont want a child and that she should have an abortion. Its not that hard user.


Still a virgin i see? Anyone who says that their first time was great are lying

do what any rational man would do, kill her with a shovel and move to Mexico

Adoption

i'll raise him to be a daddies trap

This is the future you choose user.

Abortion is murder btw

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Test the DNA and see if it matches with yours, then you don't have to do shit, otherwise, you deserve to be
JUST
Ed op, you decided to bang her.

Condoms are a jewish scam to promote sexual promiscuity and lower white birth rates.

THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE SEX IS SEX IS A STABLE MARRIAGE THAT IS PREPARED FOR A CHILD.

marry her, serve her some tea

make that 10.000 times asshat

not really, the courts work for the banks
sucking the biggest earner's income is what feeds the banks
the courts get federal kickbacks for every alimony and child support judgment
the bank profit from the loans taken by the split families, and the spending habits of the cunts

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assumptions based on ignorance

3DPD Not. Even. Once.

we even have an instructional gif for this very situation

there's too many people in the world, most of them are cunts anyway, chances are by getting an abortion you're just killing a cunt; besides, most people getting abortions are progressives who will indoctrinate their kids, so most of the babies killed by abortions are future SJWs - good riddance.

bump because of spammer

this deserves a (you)

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So here's how it went down.
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FUCK. user was saying it for years, how didn't you understand it? Never. Talk. To. Girls. Never. Do. Anything. With. Girls.

move to a country with no extradition treaty if it is yours

Pretty shit catholic if she's having premarital sex.

Well, shit OP, prepare to pay child support for a long ass time if she starts to hate your beta ass.

Most people that follow a religion don't even follow the rules, look at all the Jesus freaks who got a cross.

"Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD."–Leviticus 19:28

You brought this on yourself OP, I suggest you kys

Bumpin for Holy Fuckin Shit

Oh balls

Although I knocked up my gf on the first try a lot of people have a hard time getting pregnant, how were you positioned? Was it your condom or hers? How shitfaced were you? Do you remember if it was damaged? Were you deep inside her? I'd sooner believe she got knocked up by someone else than I'd believe you're this unlucky.

Women are mental when they want babies

How was I supposed to know that she was only 12 years old?

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OP here's a real way out.