Questionable Malcontent - Absolute Horror Edition

Alternatively, "It's Like Kiki's Delivery Service Edition"!

I slept through the end of the last thread, so I missed archiving the last ten or so posts. Oh well.

Edits: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Edits/tree/master
OC: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_OC/tree/master
Threads archive: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Threads/wikis/home

If anyone wants to help maintain the repository in case I miss something or drop dead, post your gitgud username so you can be added.

Older stuff:
Edits: imgur.com/a/Sf5J0
Omits: imgur.com/a/HtKr0
Twitter Bully: imgur.com/a/Jb1a1
OC: imgur.com/a/kSZcE

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgf7Ibjk_6imDuB54EmPkl7DUURmsMqKq
twitter.com/shoe0nhead/status/766111004518383616
pornolia.org/comixquest
archive.is/fYhnx
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

No it's not.

Get out of here, false-flagger.

It hurts to see this much fail.

It's just the one from the venture bros thread again.

Nice try, false-flagger.

It's not me user, stop being paranoid.

...

user what do you want from me? How can I prove to you I'm not some kind of elaborate Holla Forums shill?

By not bitching about jojo at every chance like the Holla Forums shill.

Some of the most recent edits from last thread. Also, is anyone else getting a B^U vibe from the face in the header?

Long time no dump. Just when you think Jeph's art standards couldn't get any lower.

Jeph is becoming Dark Syde Phil in his bandwagoning.

Very impressive Jeph. You've combined both of your storytelling devices: new characters with unexplained motivations and overly verbosely recapping what just happened.

Jeph is being literal here. He really does like when jokes are explained.

Comedy lessons from an actress who has been washed up since 1996.

Elevatorgate 2.0

Jeph attempts physics and fails.

Jeph is retweeting attention seeking chain letters.

The fuck is NMS?


This…changes my perspective on the matter.

If he thinks joke explanation is actually a part of good humor, then his previous failures seem less pathetic and more sad.

Well, I'd be wondering a) why as an adult I suddenly have an infant sibling and b) why my parents are struggling considering they already know the robes on this kind of thing.

No Man's Sky, the latest 6 day fad in vidya.


You're not the only one. Again, he's probably trying to joke but him pointing something like that out, with no self awareness, given his track record….

Hitting on people who are incapable of leaving is a generally rude thing to do. I'm not surprised that Jeph was unaware of this fact.


BOTH of them are wrong. A goodie bag is an amazing party accessory when built with a little thought, and it takes almost no effort to ignore a fussy baby.

No, Jeph. See, you campaigned on a promise and now you owe these people. I like how these lazy assholes are trying to reframe Patreon into some sort of donation system when it's really an alternative payment system for work done. Alice grove is 45 strips behind schedule and there are only 152 strips so it is 23% behind.

See Jeph, this is what happens when you spend the entirety of your 20s and 30s with no physical activity. Your 40s and beyond won't be any better.

Narcotics: Jeph's typical method of problem solving.

Yeah, Jeph, it's because Candians are too police and US EMTs know drug seeking when they see it.

This was posted before the back incident. So, Jeph spent weeks gloating about his "buffer" and is down to less than a week's worth and is now sedated with narcotics.

polite, didn't think I had that much to drink.

...

I'm going to be honest this comic made me laugh

You know, me too. The sudden perspective change makes the bar scene feel action-ey in contrast to the normal flat boring panels.

We're still hearing about action instead of seeing it, but it's a step in the right direction.

Ha ha, rev up those guest strips.

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Holla Forums is so lame.
t. loli lover pro

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Wow, Triple Dubs Confirms!

Been a long time since I participated in one of these threads. Has Handstab stabbed himself again lately?

No, sadly. But through the power of meme magic, we'll get another night of the long knives.

KEK invictus laudare, magnus rana deus dominus noster.

goddamn son

don't forget: you'll be in debt forever, Kate.

you don't need to tell the world you're on grindr, jeph.

...

Clever user.

If I wasn't lazy and about to go to bed I'd shoop it into the speech bubble.

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgf7Ibjk_6imDuB54EmPkl7DUURmsMqKq

whats this

Sweet-Tits, is that you?
Also why does Elliott lie about having a second job to one of the bakery's customers/coworkers/whatever the fuck IPP is now?

I find it rather funny when a joke is told, understood by everyone, and then some one goes on to explain it in far more detail making it a much bigger deal than anyone had ever intended as though it was the funniest thing in the world.

But that's a completely different story.

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The dosage makes her gain stand powers but shrinks her breasts in return? Is this the result of equivalent exchange?

Guess we're doing the Miyazaki world tour. Jeph had a real chance to pull this out by declaring Proco Rosso his favorite.

So in a span of about 2 weeks, Jeph's "I'm the best! I'm a month ahead! Ahhhh it feels so good to feel this superior!" turned into "I probably can't finish out the week." It's funny, Jeph is just a high functioning addict. He has all the behaviors. He has no idea how lucky he is to have stumbled upon the easiest, most high paying job.

I know exactly how good it is to luck out on a good career. Got a great career out of college, stupid awesome pay, I got laid off early this year, still searching for the next job.

Jeph can suck all the rancid lasagna for the modicum of effort he actually puts forward for the amount of money he earns for being a lazy, useless shit.

is it just me or is the idea of hiring some nip to do a QC guro doujin very attractive?

Holy shit that second image is one of the greatest things I've ever seen

So, are you too a fan of JJBA?
(JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, if you are a pleb)

No, but I am familiar with its art style. It's a series I've always meant to get into but have never had the time to do so (I'm so far behind on my chinese cartoon backlog).

Brought to you by Jeph Jacques, master of proportions.

We're gitting levels of beta that shouldn't even be possible. Is he a fucking amish or something?

reaching*

I only recently have gotten into Stardusk Crusaders (the season they introduce stands, as in pic that started this convo). It is certainly interesting in how it structures its story and how easily minor characters can find themselves killed off.

Crunchyroll has the most recent anime, which covers the beginning to a few arcs behind the manga (iirc, as stated, I am behind).

I want to think brun is getting shorter, but that first panel ruins it with a dose of reality.

Jeph's secondary Twitter is even more retarded than the first.

There's no rhyme or reason to it. It's like watching one side of a group text conversation.


Just call it JoJo like a normal person.

No Jeph, this is a tux. That is a fat chick in jeans and a too small coat and vest.

I'm honestly not even sure what kind of outfit he's trying to represent there.. It looks like she's wearing long-johns with a long-sleeved, v-neck sweatervest on top.

Jeph got clothing tips from the same place he learned how to draw guns.

That reminds me of a bot in some IRC channels I go on.

It's like Eggdrop level sophistication, the bot from the early 90s.

420chan's Netjester is more intelligible than this.

(sorry, no lasagna tonight)

I believe it's meant to be slacks or some other vaguely formal type of pant(lets be honest Jeph knows dick about dressing up and slacks are probably all he can name), a white button up shirt, a waist coat, and some kind of jacket only meant to come down to the midriff like a bullfighter.

Which is really weird as a combo to wear to a generic fancy restaurant as staff.

It's also a really cucky thing to imagine as your fantasy. In a formal environment you could imagine a bar worker in a swanky white or black dress. Or if nothing else a more sporty cut of jacket with fancy embroidery. This just looks like the kind of bare minimum outfit you see on wannabe hipster women who don't want to spend more than 100 dollars total on their "fancy" ensemble.

Calling it now. JJ is going to set up Iraqi Kiki with Big Chad over here, in a cruel twist of irony that will make all of the weedy betamax Clintons out there weep into their fedoras.

BECAUSE FEMYNYSTS SECRETLY WANT CHAD.

do we have a drawfriend signal to light up?

Had to double check to see that it wasn't Jeph that put the teardrop on Elliot. That seems like something he'd do.

Chad was interested in the skinny black girl that worked in that bakery long ago. He got cucked by Marten.

That guy will get cucked by Clinton.

Having an actual autistic character say that out loud it really funny to me. It could be what she says in the final panel of every strip she appears in.

Every character is so non-human acting that it could fit somewhere in almost any strip. Just about every strip I looked at would have worked, these are just the first couple I tried.

Comic exists solely to pad out the writer/artists fucked up view of reality and its inability to conform to them instead of them conforming to it, as such the characters make no sense because they are based on their understanding of ppl, not a healthy person's understanding of ppl

It would be like me as a schizophrenic making a comic about how everyone wants to kill each other, its characters would only make sense to me by nobody else

Everyone has something that fucks them up inside, a good writers job is to filter that shit out and make something entertaining, and not just to help their bruised view of the world

I love a good sweater puppy topside window, but a girl looking slutty is not better than a girl who wears the proper amount of clothing for the weather.

...

Yup.

I was thinking about this only the other day actually, regarding our collective love of brown chicks in baggy pants. I was wondering why I find baggy pants on chicks so attractive, and it struck me while I was looking at the ass of the chick walking in front of me - more is less.

Nearly every other woman these days wears tight fitting pants, displaying the shape and contours of their ass and legs. And tbh fam, only those with the most exceptional asses end up standing out when there's ass everywhere to be seen. It's ass desensitization.

Baggy pants though…they have this magical effect of somehow bringing out the shape and broadness of the ass, while at the same time the cut of the leg, rather than following the contours of the wearer's leg, is ruffled and straight, serving to enhance the appearance of wide hips and in turn enhancing the thinness of the waist. My poor oekaki efforts kind of display what I mean.

I guess part of it is also that it leaves more to the imagination. If a girl has flabby legs or skinny legs, they sometimes don't look that great in tight jeans. A pair of baggy pants can help cover defect up though.

if we're going to do this, let's go all the way.

I think we need to think outside the box and just apply that speech bubble to EVERY comic, from Nemo In Slumberland to X-Force.

Is this guy going to steal Clinton's new autistic girlfriend?

oh boy can't wait to see jeph defense force reacting to that

It seems I struck a nerve.


Well, yeah. There's a reason why a lot of guys wear hoodies all the time: Loose clothes allow certain assumptions.

Neither of you got what I was saying. Look at that there ensamble. It's nothing. It's a uniform. It makes IPP look like a background character. I'm not saying you should have Koriandr levels of undress, but at least it should be made so the blushing is justified.That outfit there does not merit that response.

Maybe the faggot whose name i don't know/remember has a maid fetish.
Maybe.
I'm just assuming.
People have all sorts of fetishes. I'm getting all sorts of hot and bothered around prosthetics, toasters and early XX century military uniforms

That is a possibility, given how he went full autist with the Kiki thing.

/clang/ is two blocks that way, m8. But good taste though.

Joke's on you, I already frequent it.

It seems to me that a lot of Holla Forumsmrades are also /clang/estines.

You sick fuck.

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(triple-checked)

based on the follow-up /clang/posts, I take it you mean cybernetics? Good taste, friend.

I've come to similar conclusions about the appeal of baggy pants. They emphasize the hips/upper legs while diminishing the visual weight of the upper torso.

Any prosthetics, really, both regular and cybernetic.
the only remotely good thing about me is my tastes

JUST DRUG MY SHIT UP

Speaking of robots, I've always imagined IPP to have a low, robotic, monotone voice.

Something between a classic Cylon, and Rocky the gangster from Bugs Bunny.

Holla Forums in a nutshell

Growing up in quite literally biggest piece of shit on this planet does have some merits to it.

Are you from Designatedshittingstreetsaprabbhasa ?

Emphasis on "biggest", not on "shit".

Get out ahmed

Are you from Squats and Trackzoot?

shit taste m8

get thee behind me

It's like the ultimate appraisal to his holy glory

by the power of these repeating digits may it be known that the curse of kek is upon you

Don't you see, this was also his will, it is also true to him to be mindful of these things.

I can certainly roll with that.

Why'd it post my oekaki again

Fix the website Hotwheels Jim

brown that bread you fucking whore

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She eats without hands.

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Is girls eating baked goods weirdly a fetish?

Deuses are vulted here >>/christ/
Holla Forums is for lewdness

Alright, as much as I liked her before, I think Jeph is ruining IPP with all these "adorable quirks".

As always The Handstab ruins everything good that he creates. What made her "good" compared to the rest of the cast was that she was an implied high functioning Autist. Now that he's going whole hog with the 'tism train he's basically going to continually dumb down her character to the point where she'll basically act no different from a retarded 3 year old. As is right now we are at retarded 12 year old level

He knows Hanners and Marigold are his most marketable characters but has long gotten bored with them and is now trying to recapture the magic. Problem is, as mediocre as he's always been, he's still about 80% less hungry/motivated these days so there's no magic left to capture. At some level he realizes this–thus the drastic lifestyle change moving to Canada. But all he's done is trade staying in doors all day posting on Twitter in Massachusetts with staying indoors all day posting on Twitter in Canada. The guy is in complete homeostasis, a type of autopilot you generally associate with seniors with dementia.

it's going to be kind of surreal not having to change the background colors to the CoD ones anymore.

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literally a whore's uniform.

easy access

I'd say it's more the shoes that mark her. well, okay, really it's the giant tattoo on her thigh.

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You know, I'm gonna throw it out here since it's an anonymous imageboard and no one will ever know.
Writing under morphine/heroine is really fucking hard. And drawing. If you want to get good results, down something hallucinogenic. Mescaline is a great starting point.

t.jeph

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have an edit.

Man, kek is REALLY pissed of this time.

TAKING ALL BETS ON HOW THE user WILL DIE

Ever notice when these guys are pressed to produce these death threats it ends up being "I disagree with your political opinion" or banal insults/taunts like kys?

Not that Twitter isn't shit, but Jeph is hardly a good actor in this scenario. Also shows how these guys eat themselves. Twitter is so progressive they're self-destructing because of it and it's still not good enough.

The sickness has infected me. Last night I dreamed that Jeph indeed ran out of buffer and released a guest comic instead. But instead of being an actual comic, it was an amateurish school girl collage of previous guest comics with the description text thanking guests for their work over the years.

It's funny that [Unsolicited opinions on Israel?!?!?!] will be remember far after She-Thor is forgotten.

>tfw I can't draw niggerlips well

I put down on the filename specifically that she was not a cute, and in fact a slut.

MYSTERIOUS HAND LESIONS

Putting bet on my own life that I'll die of a urinary tract infection.

...

At first I thought CSS wasn't loading but it's actually a new website.

That is one of the worst website designs I've ever seen. I thought that maybe it'd look less mediocre without all the ads FUCKING EVERYWHERE but nope, it still looks like hot vomit. This is absolutely appalling.

Also, the Patreon logo touching the top banner is triggering my autism something hard.

Wow, holy ad land batman, is patreon not enough for "poor" old handstab?

WHAT IS THAT UNHOLY ABOMINATION

It would be so great if this guy gets cucked twice.

Is it so hard to proofread?

I wonder if you can put anything up if you pay that 60 cents mentioned in the filler ad.

The seemingly unformatted text with random margins at the bottom is the worst. It looks like something is wrong with the site.

Those are some chubby hands. Is the rest of him just as flabby?

Apparently archive.is hates the new site, too.

You know I think if she weren't so aggressive angry all the time maybe she'd get that affection.

Except Jeph doesn't think that way. So obviously big dude is wrong.

...

Too late, Jeph. Your mistake is archived forever.

I mean if you want parasites there are so many more fun ways to do it

Wizard World sounds awesome. Fantastic idea to weed out the chaff that shows up to these things.

It's a feminist alright.

Oy vei Jon tone it down, the goyim will know if you keep this up

Can salty SJW tears be turned into a vaccine or something? Maybe the cure for actual cancer lies in making it realize that everyone hates it.

You sure you don't want to go? I'll bet that they'd be willing to sell lampshades too.

jeph is channeling omitfag.

twitter.com/shoe0nhead/status/766111004518383616

o shit

new characters edits just became Fucking A White Male mode.

I count 11 or 12 external ads, house ads, and other profit drivers. I didn't actually mean to call out Alice Grove but ultimately decided to keep it because its ultimate goal is to drive more profit, if indirectly from this context. If that's not strong enough, one of the items in "Contact" regards merchandise.

Oh, it's also hard to believe he's kept the QC Twitter pages and Indietits in the sidebar. The Twitter stuff has been dead for over two years and wasn't updated enough anyway, and Indietits was a false start that ended nearly 10 years ago. Meanwhile Jeph banishes the far more relevant (by comparison) Dord to the very bottom, beneath sitemap stuff like the "Other Good Comics" to boost his SEO and "Privacy Policy".

Shit, I should have highlighted the other comics zone now that I've thought it through.

Ironically Jeph just financially hurts Willis with his substituting insult.

this panel fucked my shit up untl I realized it was supposed to be looking down at Chad and Renee. I thought there was a shelving unit defying gravity and a wall that changed color because why the hell not.

It's notable that Scary Go Round / Bad Machinery is missing from the "Good Comics". Jeph slobbered all over John Allison in the early days and Allison was one of the first QC guests.

I stopped at 10. There could be more. Guest strip 1955 is from 2011. I could have sworn there was something newer, like in the past 18 months or so, but my quick search didn't uncover it.

...

You know, she's leaning at a good angle to replace Marten's torso in the header.

obligatory.

...

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The pants really makes it.

I don't get it.

I took this as in jest but then there's this.

At least one of them agrees the site looks like shit.

He looks vaguely like the big guy because he has a bandage on his nose.


It baffles me that people are able to look at this same comic as me and come to such a radially different conclusion.

Are these people robots? Do they know what affection is? And that it has many stages, and that patting someone's head is not the same thing as having sex with them?

By this guy's criteria, just being in a public space is being inappropriately intimate with people who aren't respecting his boundaries and consent.

Get over yourself dude.

Recycled material

Oh boy an excuse to post this again

It's called rape. Get it right or delete your Holla Forums account.

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Shine on you crazy diamond

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sauce pornolia.org/comixquest

Seems legit.

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These are the two latest Alice Grove strips. It seems that Handstab got the idea to introduce a new character, and wanted to do so right away. He felt the best way to do this would be to insert a jarring "two-weeks-ago" page, and then have the character arrive directly afterwards.

Also note that for some reason he saved one page as jpg and the other as png.

I'll also add that the art and walls of text on the "Two Weeks Earlier" page reminds me of Lightbringer.

>two friggin' weeks

Two friggin' edits!

Next edit better have a My Bloody Valentine t-shirt
Or Amsterdamned. That would be even better

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hahaha wow does red not get along with jpegs. guess that'll never be a header.

Try again but save it as a png.

I did, but Holla Forums makes thumbnails jpegs automatically.

Ordinarily I'd be mad at such a dumb design decision but by this point I'm not really surprised by 8ch anymore. If it works it works, I guess…hell, the whole site only works as well as it does today because Codemonkey stuck the site back together with tape and chewing gum.

AHHHHHHHHHH

halfchan does it too. I guess it makes sense, since it reduces file size/makes things load faster. (18kb vs 135kb for the same resolution as the thumbnail)

I love these

Is that langoliers?

Is this about Agony or Scorn? Which is it?

Here's a paraphrasing of my favorite quote from my 2nd favorite book, the Tin Drum:
Even the most cruel and merciless being has a desire, deep down, to live a normal life. Have a normal job, a normal spouse, and not be bothered.

This here's why it never surprises me when I learn that some sjw lusts after a chad, and why I think people are attracted to Baggy-chan.

Not always! Though it really should check,

Feels good fam

Darkened it slightly, could tweak if more if need be

Too sane.

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You know, I'm glad barbara died.

IA IA JPKWlNJ LHISRFENJN ITE SPRMBL OIFAIY UBL

I'm glad they only killed one of the monsters.

Jeph's redesigning the site himself after not touching it since Internet Explorer 6. No matter it sucks so much.

Why the fuck was I ever a linkara fan? Sometimes I want to go back in time and hit high school me in the face.

(that post number…)
And he does this after we've bitched about how horrible his site layout is.

Food for thought…

Why the fuck is she at the coffee shop? It makes zero sense to be there. There's no way Dora would be advertising for help. She already has more employees than she needs. C'mon, Jeph, you at least have to try to explain why Coffee of Doom is the center of the universe. This is worse than Star Trek V.

>he never heard of JUNE

But then what's the point of all the newspaper reading if you're not going to follow up on it? It's just an exercise in procrastination otherwise. Who goes from looking for a specific job to desperately trying to land absolutely anything in a span of 24-48 hours? Face it, this makes no sense. It's just a thing to cram the woman into the coffee shop for no reason.

Perhaps Dora will fire the crazy duo and remake Coffee of Doom into Alcohol of Blindness (And a Lingering Smell of Fish)
And since I know your reading this Jeph I really like the look of absolute revulsion Clinton's got going about Claire's faggotry

More like moon over june ahueeuheuheuheuehue

she never left. ;^)

I think Claire's making Clit jealous; Clit wants to get his hands on his brother's cock and make it spray all over those tits before it gets mangled.

...

naïveté can be very liberating.

also, I wish I had a version of this where the chorus was "your brother's got a penis" instead of "mother".

I actually know what he's going for, it makes me hurt that he's THIS much of a pretentious hipster fuck.

archive.is/fYhnx

How much more interesting this thing would be if the narration was through schizophrenic delusions.

Yeah. The flat, plain "something wrong with CSS" fad is incorrigible and a real sign that decision making has been left to teenagers. Anyone who is old enough remembers the world wide web, as it was called back then, looking like this by default. And people couldn't wait to leave it. Netscape shamelessly broke standards to escape the plainness and became so influential doing so that the W3C, the web standards body, were basically forced into anointing Netscape's de facto standard the official one.

I blame Microsoft. Both their marketshare and mindshare are cratering but for some reason the entire industry took cues from them when it comes to flat interfaces, which they introduced in the Zune, a product no one cared about yet for some reason remains highly influential. Even Apple is copying this shit.

It's distressing to see the entire industry dump decades of UI knowledge to chase this "Millennials know best because they grew up with technology" paradigm. Buttons don't have borders anymore and the user just has to know what can be interacted with and what cannot without sufficient UI hints.

People are calling this new and fresh, but it isn't. It's like a return to alchemy or four humours type medicine.

Good article, BTW, but it makes it apparent that Jeph just saw the word "brutal" and decided to ape the idea becase he needs his metal creds so he has to make this site as brutal as possible.

...

I wish I could quit reading QC. I used to like it, then I hated it but kept reading it because it was so loathsome. Now there's not even enough here to hate. There are no characters, there is no story, there is no conflict, it's not funny, it's not even mildly amusing, it could end at any time.

But if Jeph quit QC he would have to get a real job or create something of actual value. So I'm gonna keep checking it every few weeks looking forward to the eventual complete mental breakdown, mid life crisis and possible suicide that follows the end of QC.

alt. "punchline": I have little choice but to sample your beans.
in honor of

I am in the same boat, I used to read it because a friend recommended it, and I was curious to see where it would go. It was just something I checked in on every once in a while to see what has happened, and we all already know the answer to that.

I was on the verge of quitting entirely when I discovered editfag's comic on 8/pol/. I've been reading it via these threads ever since.

It would be fun if someone mailed some of the edits to em but that would also mean we need to go deeper.

thought of you

Interestingly, your link mentions Adult Swim and this is what www.adultswim.com looks like right now. Now I don't know if it's a mistake or a deliberate attempt at being funny.

At least I get to see next week's MDE World Peace early in the DO NOT DEPLOY folder

It's obviously a joke.

Shit, I think they're hosting some of Jeph's homemade porn.

kek

I just watched that, it's some forest with a bunch of used condoms and shit.

mfw I spoke too soon

I'm afraid to click on any of those

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wtf hotwheels why did two copies of the first version appear

Hotwheels hasn't had anything to do with Holla Forums for a while now.

I don't necessarily have a problem with Web 1.0 style, in fact in many cases I prefer it. For example Drudge doesn't have to be any more than it already is.

But, intentionally aping 1.0 BADLY is about the lowest you can get. It's basically the web design version of pixel shit.


Well it's Jeph so I assume everything is a bizarre delusion.

what are you some kind of communist

We're all in the same boat. I was actually almost out, doing the thing where you forget to check for "a few days" and it turns out to be three weeks. And then "You and Me" happened and spawned these threads. You and Me was the thing that would have ended it for me.

My moving the goalpost condition was to see Jeph's Patreon crater. Well, that's not happening. It's only going up. I know it used to be $10k but that figure wasn't real. Patreon adjusted the figure to reflect fees withdrawn and pull-out patrons who'd bail before collection.

There's no way this strip is $2.15 a month to nearly 4000 people.

I quit reading around the time of trannyfuck. I'd been reading it for the better part of a decade purely out of habit and routine, and after that incident it was like my eyes were open and I suddenly realised how shit the comic was and how shit it had been for a long time.

Then, a long time after I stopped reading QC, we left 4chan and came here. Then the QC threads began…and then the edits began…and before long, I was reading this shitty comic again. But now it was new and improved, with actual storylines, characters, and humour. Thanks for everything, you glorious faggots.

Taking 90s "brutality design" to the ultimate level. I feel like I'm browsing Gopher again.


It's different for old sites that never changed (literally in the case of Drudge), for example image boards. But these new minimalist designs don't really grasp the utility value or institutionalization. It's just a cargo cult aesthetic.

At what point does predictability become some sort of avant garde artform?

Didn't he just the previous day (in-universe time, more like last year for us with how glacial this comic is) have an argument with his trannyfaggotbrother about being deliberately set up with girls in an awkward and embarrassing manner?

Boy, I sure do love character consistency.

Yeah. And since then some sort of minor argument over scheduling a tattoo appointment without his knowledge. Also

Isn't she like 2 years older?

What is with Clit's pose in panel 1? I realize Jeph couldn't figure out how to get all three of them into the panel and god forbid he not have four identically proportioned iPhone panels but it looks like he's being yanked off a Vaudeville stage.

What the fuck kind of weather must they be having for Claire to bundle up in a winter coat and mittens while Clinton only needs a hoodie?
Also how cold does Clint's robo-hand get in winter anyway?

Well, stuff like experimenting with panel layouts would require Jeph to not be lazy.
After all, why bother improving when you know your retarded fanbase will suck the shit directly out of you ass and beg for more?

Is body heat retention affected by testosterone levels? Maybe Clinton's bulkier than Claire and Jeph's just too shit to represent it.
Also to be fair that hoodie does look pretty thick. I have an insulated hoodie that's about half an inch thick and warmer than my actual winter jacket.

At one point, we theorized that Jeph was paying into his own Paetron via a 3rd party account in order to make himself look better, but this was disproven when the great Paetron hack occurred.


Clit has the best faces nowadays.


His panels aren't identical, though. 2 and 4 are equally larger than 1 and 3 for no reason.


Higher testosterone usually results in a higher metabolism which means having more heat generation when it gets cold.

Oh, you're right. I guess I was blinded by the bad artwork. I pick the one day with uneven panels to make this mistake. Curses.

When ever is clit's robot hand brought into mention, I'm wondering here. Like, seriously, I just looked at it and thought, "That could be a regular hand or just wearing plate gauntlets." It serves the story none, ever. on top of that, the character would be exactly the same in his daily life without it.
Remember when guts tore his fucking arm off in the mouth of a demon to save casca and just got it replaced by a cool metal arm that served no other function than being a new limb? That was cool. And remember when big medic got his arm blown off in a helicopter accident and just replaced it with a normal prosthetic with no attachments ever? Oh wait, neither of those things happened, guts got a big canon arm and a crossbow attachment, and venom got a load of new installments to his arms that can be used in certain battle situations. He even makes a nikita missile arm and uses it to punch faggot kids from across the room. There's also scenes with both of them showing that they have problems with actually having no arm and the fact that their arms work at all is a small challenge. You do have to move on at some point, but guts has that robot arm for the whole story and big medic uses his attachments the whole game, and even if you choose not to, he uses his hand to click and draw attention instead of knocking.
Fucking shit, there should be a little bit of a reason for things, your character doesn't need to be an edgy faggot about how he lost his hand, but it should work into the characterization at least a little bit.

Clinton having phantom limb breakdowns would be an interesting addition to the comic.

...

This has been a long-time complaint about Handstab and his comic - he's created this incredibly interesting setting and universe, yet somehow manages to never ever utilize it in an interesting manner while simultaneously filling it up with some of the most boring characters known to man. He never explores the universe in depth, never uses technology for interesting story-telling or how it affects peoples lives, and apart from that brief stint on board the space station, we never ever fucking leave Northampton and see the rest of this world which otherwise sounds genuinely interesting and different to ours.

Jeph is like the King Midas of BORING.

Oh and before someone goes
Fuck you. They may as well just be (really boring) niggers in a (really boring with no risk) fight club who have to deal with (really boring) racism, for all the technical depth and detail Jeph has put into them.

With all my knowlege of the comic from edits and actually reading a bit of it myself, you could replace the robots with magical whatever shit and it'd be the same; it just takes away any sense of danger from the world because robots can't be hurt fatally, so a fight club doesn't make for a threatening environment, and since the robot hand functions exactly how his old hand did, clit gets no development as far as that is concerned. It would have been equally interesting to explore THAT; you're in a world with basically no consequences because of bionics, so instead of being totally cool with it, they could have death cults surrounding the idea and people killing other people since they justify in their head that killing people means they will be reborn as cybermen. But FUCK that actual scifi horror shit, we gotta have 1300 comics chock full of what flavor of shit the tranny is slurping up today.

Let us also not forget that we never get to see the people who visit the fights who keep the robo fight club in business. Kind of like Coffee of Doom customers.

Robot fight club can be easily kept in business by paid online translations and betting though.

3292 comics at the time of this writing, to be precise.

This is a perfectly acceptable reason, but Handstab didn't bother to take a single panel to explain that, so I have to assume he's just being lazy.

Well, yeah, it's Handel Stabbe after all.

...

It's a knife hand extension, isn't it?

and jeph, if you're reading this, which you probably are because you are both vain and lazy, know that if you try and avoid drawing Clit in poses where I can do shit to his hand, that makes you my bitch.

not quite.

I can't tell if that's Sheev or not.

...

it is.

sage for doublepost.

Wait a minute…

...

And that's why it will never happen.

Lovin' this avant garde predictability.

lovin' curling.horse

t. John Titor

What's with all the Canada references in today's comic?

OCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOTOCELOT

What's this? A somewhat different panel layout? Background characters? A location that isn't the coffee shop, library, or Marten's apartment? All at the same time?

Soak it all in, user. We're not getting another page like this for AT LEAST another decade.

Revolver Ocelot

I was taken aback when I first saw it. I couldn't believe that Jeph would frame his shots this well.

I mean, the art is still shit, but by god he put EFFORT into this page.

I wonder if he's feeling ill.

I'll bet $50 if I asked this chick her opinion on MGTOW she'd spaz out on me yet here she is basically goading men to abandon their biological and societal programming. Then I'd place another $50 on how quickly she'd turn into a demure, passive, mousy, tradcon wife when faced with such a reality.

But, Rob, you'd have to first create the hate speech to copyright it. Is that a path you really want to go down? A path of niggers, faggots, and shemales?

Joke's on you: Sad Puppies already proved their point and no one cares about the Hugo Awards anymore.

Jeph's idea of sketches.

Of course an entryist SJW would champion the ecological destruction wrought by invasive species.

Jeph's latest virtue signal

Who is this fag?

Who will the Clinton family assassinate next?

Anyone they damn well please, given the way things are going nowadays.

...

Lots of retweets. Jeph's getting so lazy he's not even shitposting anymore.

In the name of tolerance and free speech, mind you.

...

Clinton "Barsonist" Augustus
Clinton "Down With Brown" Augustus
Clinton "Tonsil Hockey With Iraqis" Augustus
Clinton "See Your Ass, It's A Pass(port)" Augustus
Clinton "Metal Man In Brown Girl's Land" Augustus
Clinton "The Saskatoon Shotgun Harpoon" Augustus
Clinton "Gotta Be Ginger To Get Near The Minge" Augustus

QC is so much better when nobody's talking.

Not quite right….

you have to speak slowly in order for jeph to understand. so that's kind of like "first you start with the eyes".

pick up the knife, Jeph. pick up the knife.

also, I'd really like to create a situation where Bishop's knife trick from Aliens plays out with QC characters, but the thought of digging through the archives for suitable parts to frankenstein together is unpleasant.

or if not the knife trick, someone straight-up holding another character's hand down on a table while wielding a knife over it, with the Jeph Jacques Special imminent.

also, any QC archive crawl is inevitably going to lead to something like this.

it would make for a great cut in a "PREVIOUSLY ON" segment on TV though.

Someone should pull a goatkcd and superimpose the meme Marten face onto every character in every strip.

What has Science done?

Amazing. Did you make this from scratch imitating his style?

First you start with the eyes.

it helps if you post the right strip

Thought I knew where the hand came from but I was wrong.

jeph draws a lot of very stabbable hands, even if you're just going for palms-up when they recieve the sacrament of the blade.

wtf
That's not how normal people gesticulate at all. Try doing it, it's uncomfy as fuck to do.

he's probably trying to make it more dynamic/interesting. might be Halal, although I'd have to check a Draw With Jazza video to see.

what weirds me out is how often characters are doing the "consider this" thing while talking.

Oh Jeph

When has this comic been a comedy of anything?

I feel the same way about the Manga/Amime fused fingers but people tell me that's the natural way. I think they're full of shit though. I have to expend quite a bit of effort to do this.

I always thought the fused fingers thing was kind of cute, but I can't really articulate why. I guess it looks sort of demure.

People telling me this is how people do it in real life when I ask bothers me far more than its existence in fiction.

That actually comes to me fairly naturally. I think it's a bit exaggerated in the chinese cartoons but otherwise it's similar to how my fingers naturally sit sometimes.

It's a lot more natural than Jeph's shitshow anyway.

Also hardcore weebs who are either totally unobservant or pretend this isn't a standard anime trope.

I was going to agree, but then realized when I'm casually holding my hand up to wave the middle two fingers do tend to stick together a bit, though not to that degree.

Yeah, that's some bullshit. Those two fingers move less in relation to each other than the rest, but they sure as hell don't stay locked together.

I feel like the first two panels could be fused into one and it would be better.
Also, Clint literally just mistook someone for Brun, so this "joke" is just a shittier rehash of yesterday's "joke".

AND THEN THEY FUCKED.

This strip is confusing. Panel 3 makes it look like he knocked her down because he's looking downward and the camera angle is low. Then in panel 4 we see her standing (in an Escher perspective bizarre even for Jeph). Then in panel 5 they see eye to eye, with minimal height difference. Clit is a manlet

Is this yet another instance where Jeph finished the comic and then second guessed himself into a nonsensical edit? The perspective in panel 4 really suggests we she be looking at her on the ground. As it is she looks like she just came out of an 8-bit RPG.

we should be looking

Christ, it just keeps going up. The more bland this thing gets, the more money Jeph makes.

Checked halfchan for the first time in a while. They're still posting this. It's funny, it's basically their pill goblin I think.

I agree, it looks like she's staring at the top of a building while doing the limbo. She must be intended to be lying on the ground because Clint is looking down in the previous panel, but I guess Jeph doesn't know how to draw people lying down. Or falling down, or getting up, or walking, or moving at all. And all tha action would mean that Jeph would have to resize his canvas to fit more panels. And draw more. And he's probably tired. I know I would be.

Also I'd like to point out that this is another instance of tension being built and torn down literally within two strips.
Gripping narrative.

It's not like Clinton finding her hiding in an alley silently crying her eyes out due to being being overwhelmed by stress and then comforting her would have been any better, right? Jeph really dodged a literary bullet on this one.

I'd like someone to dance using all of those hand positions.

The Carpal Tunnel Tango

The Slicing Samba

Cutting Calypso

Possibly the most infuriating thing is how Jeph could easily drag out plot lines and simultaneously make it more interesting but doesn't. Clinton could look for Brun, not find her, pretend he's doing it for concern, realize that she's made it this far in life and is probably fine, wants to see her anyway, and is now actively seeking to find her.

This could take weeks, but, no, instead we get Walking Simulator The Comic.

He can talk over his new perspective with Claire. And really someone else–the new "main" character seems to have popped into existence in his main 20s and therefore misses any sort of backstory such as the existence of friends. Hell, I'm barely aware of what he does as a job. He gathers survery info on AIs or something. Sounds like something for college interns that pays $100/week.

...

Table Knife Two Step

The Shaska Hopak

credit where credit is due, I guess. she does not look horrible. she looks like a stylized version of people I have actually seen and encountered in the Desert of the Real. and maybe the only person I've ever seen reading 50 Shades in public

too bad jeph has me blocked on twitter, or I would suggest that he writes her to be in Marten's Mom's line of work, if you know what I mean wink wink nudge nudge

IS THAT ZOE QUINN

The perspective from panel to panel in this one is completely fucked.

I also think you're right.

...

I hope she fucks him in exchange for being made into a main character and he contracts AIDS

GEE, ZOE, WHY DO YOU GET TO SUCK 5 WEINERS?

The real reason we know that dog isn't Shelby is it doesn't look as though every moment it's alive is torture.

At least he acknowledged all the weight she put on in his comic.

there's also a new alice grove with rapist willis in it.

Are Dyke Amazon and Heterochromia Chad supposed to be a couple? Because their kid would be a fucking behemoth.

I couldn't decide what to do with the sky so it just ended up being HIV.

The phone bits are a nice touch.

no more editing for today, except to ensure that tomorrow's lasagna has an essential ingredient. ;^)

also I may have to spend a lot of time looking through the archives for hands that can be repositioned in appropriate ways for a certain Very Famous Video Game Developer.