Whats the biggest secret you have?

whats the biggest secret you have?
my cock
no seriously, my biggest secret is that im actually unable to feel emotions like guilt, regret, anger, jealousy and i feign anger when it is convenient and useful

If I called you a spook would you stop existing?

yes

Spook.

congratulations you have now made my surreal

i love eating a lot

so edgy

i identify as a little girl

That lasagna looks like fucking puke. It probably got made in a fucking microwave, you pleb.

I am the hacker known as 4chan

i act like oldfag but im new here

I
AM
A
DUCK
>Fuck, it feels soooo good to finally get that off my chest.
Quack. (No echo)

I think bugs bunny looks hot when he cross dresses

I piss and blow my loads in my girlfriend's food/drinks all the time, and she'll hopefully never know

why not

because that would ruin how turned on it makes me

...

Where?

I switched a coworkers anxiety medication with her sleeping medication during work around lunchtime. I did this because I knew everyone else in the office was leaving early that day. After everyone left I waited until I heard snoring and went to her desk and started fondling her and came on her feet. This ended up getting a janitor fired as she woke up and saw him hovering over her and assumed it was him. Afterwards, she went to go pick her kids up from daycare and got into an auto accident on the way. Her vehicle was totaled and she was charged with driving under influence.

That was my secret but sadly her problems only grew worse from there. I admit I was responsible for the above. Below is not my fault but I still feel somewhat guilty

The accident caused her a lot of problems that spiraled in the next few months. CPS was called which ended up getting her kids taken out of her custody. And since she couldnt drive anymore she had to rely on family which caused a strain on her marriage and ended up in divorce. After I molested her and changed her medication it took about 8 months of me watching her every week and hear about everything. It was like a pit. She just couldnt get out of bad trouble. Id watch her situation get worse and worse every time I walked into work. She was fired abruptly one day but my other secret is that I was trying very hard and messing with schedules in order to replicate that situation again. I could never get alone with her and I wanted to fondle her again so badly. She was a BBW with huge breasts, long nipples, ass for days, and a very warm and nice looking pussy with stubble. She obviously shaved often

getting your balls drained with hunger wouldnt do it?

...

...

dude. high five

Literally nothing to be surprised about here.

hi pol

im a cat

hi

Between the ages of 11 and 18 I had sexual contact with my cousins (8 and 10 when we started) and some times I wonder if that's a regret for them.
We used to watch Full House together while making out, and to this day I can't hear that fucking theme song without remembering it. It's like Pavlovian conditioning.
I could be very well the only human being who relates the sentence "whatever happened to predictability" with having a finger inside a 9 year old pussy.

That. Is. Depressing.

I am waiting for my parents to die so I can no guilt just blow my brains out.

This may take 20 years, but I have nothing to look forward to in life. This may get dull.

I was buying weed from a girl and her boyfriend late at night and they said they were going to a walmart on the other side of my town, so I got into their car with my wallet and the girl drove there. nobody said anything.

they didnt actually go to walmart.

they went to an alley a block away. the boyfriend pulled a gun on me and told me to get out of the car, grabbed his ass while he was getting out and threw him on the ground, started beating him to a pulp, started booting his face in right infront of his girlfriend who is screaming at me by now, got up and ran home. t-shirt was bloody.

proof

Cool story. I wish I had an incestuous childhood threeway stories. Why did you quit?

Because they cancelled Full House!
Just kidding, I honestly don't know. We just did it less and less, and we also saw each other less and less.
I haven't seen them in years.

Wouldn't they make more money with you as a long term customer?

Not if they never actually had the weed.

My dad may or may not have in some way shape or form helped kill people for the government and I have no fucking idea WTF is actually true anymore other than he was in some way working as a part of USAF special forces

There's some family history too, all I know about my grandfather on my dad's side career in WW2 is that he worked in some kind of extremely classified and denied encrypted radio station OCONUS

also, I'm kind of probably totally fucking insane, and I have no idea if some of the shit I experience is reality or just paranoia

I know, however, that the above things are true because my dad told me them directly in person and I've never had a significant non-drug related hallucination that I couldn't identify as a hallucination. I know that probably doesn't make much sense but basically I hear shit rarely like demonic whispering and other shit but I can tell it's not real. At least I fucking hope not. I just also think the world is probably run by some sort of fucked up shadow government probably based in western europe that happens to have control over most of western media and governments.

I buy used underwear from the Salvation Army

Ok, but why?

im straight

I thought the word for that is sociopath

Neither of the words have a specific criteria either unofficial or medical.
A useful term is the dark triad, both would fit under that category.

i know you

How thirsty can you even be?

I am hansome, super intelligent, perceptive and insightful. Yes I know what you are thinking but really…..Its living a nightmare, you realize, that at the end of the day, everyone around you is controlled essentially by their basest desires, (sex, power over others, vanity, belonging) and/or fucked up fetishes, its really their only goals in life, and there is nothing you can do about it. It's incredibly lonely, you can never talk to anyone about anything, either they don't follow, or they assume something different to what you are trying to explain, they aren't able to put emotional biases aside to discuss topics rationally. I wish I died a long time ago so I didn't have to be aware of how lonely and how increasingly disgusted I am with the human race, if a Comet or asteroid was about to hit the earth, i'd probably happy as balls. Some days I wish I was some average looking road worker with a 7/10 wife and a 110 IQ, because then at least I'd be happy with the small niche I had carved out for myself.

Is this pasta?

my dick is only five inches :^(

you're a prick

It's okay, the average is like 5.5 (depending on the study), so you're really not too far behind.
Sometimes you can see as low as 4.5, sometimes you can see as high as 6.5, so a good estimate is about 5.5. You're not abnormal.

You should see someone. you are insane

I'm planning on suiciding myself sometime this year.

Well youre right about the shadow government thing. It's basically run with the help of shabbos goyim the masons and the jews. Are your dad a mason?

Be patient, I know it's difficult, but that's all that can really be asked-for.That, and that giant meteor will probably be along before too long anyhow, so try to make the best of your situation while you can.

What a surprise that the communist is also autistic. Check your genes you probably have the JEW in you too.

Someones read my mind before. Not we had the same thought sort of thing, but I had a really weird fucked up thought and the other person corrected me without me even opening my mouth.

mind is shared, only partially independent. trust me, im a 3000 level haxor.

...

You're fine, user, you even said it yourself - she was fat.

I'm handsome.

biggest secret is i only pretend to be pedophile
take that jews! :^)

MY PEOPLE, MY Holla Forums

that i am a golden bagel

i understand what you mean, i have never expressed this to anyone before. im kind of glad that im not alone with these thoughts (except for the more dark ones)

Everyone around me is a Liberal or Tranny supporting SJW that takes Buzzfeed as gospel. I don't believe any of it, and even have started to think perhaps the holocaust isn't as bad as its made out to be, because they need to put out something new about it every fucking year, when similar atrocities during recent history in other countries barely get a mention. And now everyone is shitting on Trump because he's a meanie? I'm starting to believe everyone around me is a fucking moron

help me

...

...

I'm cool but i act anti social because fuck normies.

sounds like someone needs to watch The Greatest Story Never Told

Just take an ax to their heads dumbass

lucky son of a bitch

I enjoy spanking girls and boys.

That image always triggers me, when they say parsley but it's so obviously basil.

Why the fuck would it even be parsley? It's just baffling to me, even if you don't know what the fresh herbs looks like, who in their right mind would garnish fucking lasagna with parsley? Who would garnish lasagna with anything other than basil? A sick deranged man, that's who. If that was parsley then there is no doubt in my mind that the meat in that lasagna would be 50/50 dog and hooker. The noodles would probably be sheet rock.

Only a grade A psychopathic pervert would even fathom putting a garnish on lasagna that wasn't basil. It's really mind boggling. Disgusting

It makes me sick.

Those are symptoms of psychopathy. Do you play a lot of reaper?

no, is it good?