Holla Forums, you've got to hear this shit that happened earlier today. gf and I had just got done having sex upstairs...

Holla Forums, you've got to hear this shit that happened earlier today. gf and I had just got done having sex upstairs. Afterward, I threw the condom in the upstairs trash can because what could go wrong? About 20 minutes later, gf and I are downstairs watching TV when we hear her 8-year-old daughter giggling upstairs. gf yells, "Heidi, what are you doing up there?" Heidi comes right out of the bathroom to the top of the stairs… with the condom in her mouth… BLOWING IT UP. My jaw dropped and my gf is all like "HEIDI!!!" As she jumps up off the couch, she knocks the ashtray off the coffee table and onto the floor. Both of our lit cigarettes land on the carpet and become buried beneath a pile of other cigarette butts. She starts frantically sifting through them and grabbing handfuls and burns the fuck out of her hand on one of the cherries. My gf screams at me to go deal with her daughter, so I run upstairs real fast to take it away from her. At this point, the condom is blown up very full, but that's not even where this ride ends. She tilts it upward while blowing it up and a huge load of my jizz pours right into her mouth. She immediately starts gagging and drops the balloon on the floor, but her mouth is already full of me right now. She starts spitting it out and it's all over her hands and shit. She's all like, "That stuff tastes and smells weird". I rush her into the bathroom and have her gargle with Scope until she can't taste the sperm anymore. My gf comes up finally and asks if everything is alright. However, her daughter has my jizz all over her shirt, shorts, and it's even running down her chest. gf cleaned her up right there, but the memory will stick. It's only a matter of time before Heidi reaches social maturity and realizes what the stuff in that balloon really was. I hope I am around to see the look on her face when the light bulb turns on.

Pic related. It's Heidi.

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why are we recycling threads from a month ago? has it really gotten to that?

this is why you should never date single mothers

what's the daughter's number? sounds like she's permanently scarred anyway, might as well give up on her and let her become an underage prostitute

You choose a really old girl m8
She's like 12

But seriously, balloons an condoms are really dangerous. A lot of kids suffocate themselves with latex products.

you should probably take it off before you let her blow you

especially if she's 12; she probably hasn't caught anything yet so it'd be fine.

heidi, like heidi whities??

Kek

When I was 13, I tied this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the fuck out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small tits will entirely black and blue, her pussy was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty at 12 and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my all time most voluminous load of cum all over face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

(Heiled)

Why would you toss your dick at her?

:^)

You should have asked her if she wanted a desert, maybe you could donate some more cream later in the night?

Hello Eightchans, What the krunk did you just ducking say about me, you titty sprinkle bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ASS and I've been involved in numerous secret slumber party missions in India and have over 300 confirmed smoochie poochies and medjool dates and shut up about gulab jamun you bastard bitch. I am trained spy and you are nothing but just another spy with fancy cameras that are only good for getting watched in the butthole and getting me fired for tampering in the ass so KISS MY ASS RIGHT ON THE CRACK. You make a good cereal that gives the bungleshits, but not before I trick you into full laxative reversal. You should have avoided the salad bar but you chose coleslaw colepoop coleshit. You will be begging me to take you to the post office so you can ship your pants but you will have to wipe your miserable ass with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my turds. you will probably wipe your ass, leaving only a little shit. You think you can get away with drinking prune juice? Well get ready to ship your bed too. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pies across the USA and your favorite flavor is being traced right now so you better prepare for the corn, This is the corn that causes tremendous bungleshits in everyones pathetic asses, because its hurrican season in key west and the limes are fresh bitch. I hope you like aloe. We can be anywhere, anytime, and We can spill your beans in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with the curry soup. If only you could have known you could have mentioned you could have been able to have said that you were when the are what even do you are you would be a little clover, But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're getting served with some rice. Your asshole will shit a blitzkrieging torrent of chocolate chunk soup all over your floor perfectly missing the toilet from every angle. Enjoy your krunk dump, flump.


Do you want to know who I am? my name is a seceret how are you,?
I'm doing well to do. I am a typical \B\retard as you guys are but I am not a Giant Abraham Lincoln 4 soccer team and several years ago in U niversity. I like mudclips and the skinny man. I get a conniption from the Reddit and RudePoos as you do. I am one of you guys \bee\, and I like memes as you do, DASY DASU. ITT: >In this thread >we should post >new cool memes >that we hide from >the redditfaggots. Everybody ride the dinosaur and spagetti falls on me. Please note that I am not a Noob Fag but am an Experienced Fag because I lork all time. the persan probably was up to no good. starteed makin trubl in the neuherbood, got in une smool feit an my mum got scrared and she sey u morving to you unvle and ounty in blelar Fesh Pince of Bellbear and we are Anomalous. Let's create new memes that reddit will never get and this is New Content and not Copy Pizza but Walrus Cat can come to say Pebbis. I enjoy WarToads, Conflict turtles, Agitated Salamanders, Upset Amphibians, and Johnny Rustles Shag Carpets so shop the wops, do a battle roll and I just lost the match. I am not from reddit but am totally legit. ROW ROW ROW THE BOAT. So then we open the gate, step on the bait, and everybody jog the T-Rex. PLEASE DONT MAGE THIS THRED IT IS NOT COPY MACARONI, BUT ORIGINAL ARGUMENT.

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my name is clips spamjob, i always like to skunk at 8charms and i also like junkflips as you poo, usa usa TOOOOOT. i like also like jogging the t-rex with the battletoads (FROGS DON't KNOW ABOUT MY WATER BED), shape the wapes, do a bungle roll and i just got disqualified. due to the fact that im not a fudgebag i know that /Holla Forums/ is in possession of a great variety of "COOKIES", at least those of you that are vegan. in a duckshell, i need anonymoustard to delivery to an mestixan /x/file some of his "COOKIES" (you know that i meant Hway hway) MUSH MUSH MUSH THE DOGS, PLEASE DON'T WARLOCK THIS BREAD ITS NOT DUPLICATIONPASTA, BUT STEREOTYPICAL SUGGESTION.

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Things that never happened, as recounted by a neet looser. Probably trying to compensate for his own feelings of powerlessness and victimhood. Pitiable, really.

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months? more like a week

Depends on what America achieves in their plans for world dominance. You keep it clean and tidy but after a while you get lazy and make a mess everywhere. Backups are good. Some people remember it only when HDD crashes. A man of European ancestry puts a paper on a car - it's floaty and I see myself as 16 in a hallway in love with a girl like Allison Reynolds. Teenage rebellion is a myth pushed on parents starting in the 50's, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because it preaches that they should never have a strong hand in raising their children. A lot of kids are just doing this kind of thing because they simply don't know any better, not because they're rebelling against their parents. Raise your children with a proper set of morals for them to understand the world with and they won't have to flounder without guidance in their teenage years making a fool of themselves. I might go scouring for free furniture, fix it up and try and flip it on ebay. Dive in and bring back what you find. Reading in bed right before you are about to sleep is also good for remembering (10-20 minutes of reading), but only on Holla Forums? You must take out the funny bone without touching the sides. The male body is more than willing to sacrifice itself for the slightest chance of impregnating some female. It's like these faggots who simply won't understand the legal implications of 19th Amendment prohibition, and want to undermine it's disenfranchised constitionality! The fact the transgendered people that get sex changes exist should imply that bodies do imply gender. Yes, if you get up off your ass, eat more fibre and don't spend 30 minutes on the toilet to take a 30 second dump. I can improve anything about myself that it's changeable, but I cannot change those around me for those that I can't. To impregnate her with my seed, so that my genes will live on after I die - sort of like nature's way of reincarnation. Just don't get too emotional about it, neither don't get too excited or too furious. The logical thing to do would be to give back the medal. So, if you want to be to be truly fulfilled during the short time you exist in this universe, I would recommend you seek to know yourself and who you are, and resolve to undertake a personal journey to that end. And may you find enlightenment along the way.

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Post more of her

That is gross OP. I would have snatched it from her, as she could have caught a std.

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much older than that