What do I get a girl for Christmas?

A hung black man by the chimney with care, in hopes that sweet white pussy will soon be there.

truth. if you and she are on a wavelength, toast with her coffee and 5 minutes peace in the bathroom are worth an Aston Martin. if only grills knew this

Just make her a cute card saying you'll take her out wherever she wants to go. A fun date is a great gift. Then during the date tell her that real gift isn't coming until __. That will get her really excited. She'll probably bug you hours trying to guess what it is.

yeah, no I'm not a degenerate.

she wouldn't do that to me anymore

It's a hand crafted item made to order. I'll get it fir her birthday.

I don't think she'll go on a date with me. I haven't earned her love back yet.

make a love song, faggot.

I can't play music :(

make a painting or draw a picture :D

heck, just make a shitty poem with a card if you can't do that, Roses and violets and bullshit like that.

RAPE

user that sounds super cringy why would anyone do that?

just stand outsde her house at night playing a cardboard violin and singing the Holla Forums anthem. if this doesn't work, come back later wearing a maga hat and speaking russian.

I'll try this. If I don't come back on the 26th assume her mother killed me.

because if it doesnt work, at least you did something beautiful and have touched someone's life in a pleasant way even if they were a cunt and said "nope, i will have none of this flowery kindness you are showing me."

i got your back bro. if anything happens, you needn't worry about your little sister. she'll be looked after, ok?

Yeah that's why I'm getting her a gift in the first place.

She's a girl I've loved for a long time and I did her wrong in the past.

*fucking liberal bullshit autocorrect

Well good luck. Personally, I steer clear of women all they've ever done is be critical, put me down, manipulate, and try to put me down at every given chance.

i said put me down twice, I guess it's been ingrained in my memory twice.

stop poking my pet dog

sorry to hear that.

she's a girl I've known for a long time. We used to be very close but we got in a fight.

is OP your dog? im the one that told him to make a poem. if you're calling him your dog, you don't deserve him.

and with that I'll tell you to fucker right on off, user-chan.

it's the nearest i'll get to incest, ffs. if i can't fuck the pooch, either you or mom will regret it.

mom's dead.

Gift-wrap a fresh-shit-in-a-box… chicks secretly love stuff like that!

Women love sex. You're such a fucking faggot

She's going to hate you more, you know

She doesn't hate me.

god damn you virgins are clueless.

Then why does my wife want me to push love eggs up her ass with my dick? or to handcuff her hands behind her back and tease her with a vibrator? Women love sex when they want it. They're biologically wired to go crazy horny on a regular basis.

Because she (and you) are degenerate.

You're such a fucking Holla Forumstier quasi-normalfag

is your wife's name omlet? why did you marry so damaged a girl? was it charity, or did she hide her dick until you got back from church and by then she already owned all the trailor and half the truck?

love eggs are what I call those bullet vibrators with the long wires, it's a shorter description than bullet vibrators with long wires

At least I'm not a fucking degenerate :^)

you don't really love her.

You don't belong here.

...

i've been posting on fucking *chans and their ilk for the past ten years, it's all I've ever known

Give her the d

uhuh, sure.

this. the first year my wife said she could get that all year round, so i wrapped some holly round the end and she hasn't complained since.

a big cock for her to swallow

fuck off nomri