Why didn't anyone tell me programming on Linux was this comfy?

Why didn't anyone tell me programming on Linux was this comfy?

Programming in Linux is comfy.
But programming in Emacs is comfier.

You never asked. Literally anyone who's ever used Linux could've told you that

It's like you've never been on this board

Emacs is great. Not for verbose languages such as Java though. I know that there's autofill stuff with yasnippet or whatever it is called, but I like Netbean's dropdown menu to suggest you methods since I can read and decide which is best for me. Also Netbeans offers Emacs key bindings, but it isn't perfect.

I dunno, I've tried setting it up on Ubuntu a few times but it seems like my dependantcies are always in the wrong spot.

What does it offer over vim? (Not trolling)

I prefer vim personally. Emacs bindings are pure autism, and vim mode isn't much better since you still have to use emacs bindings in certain places.

I have no idea since I've only used Emacs and nothing else.

Vim is a good minimal ergonomic text editor. Emacs is a lisp environment/OS that is designed around text operations. It uses elisp for configuration. The plugins are highly integrated and it has its own package manager.

If you're a vim user curious about emacs check out spacemacs, it's a configuration layer for a base emacs install that provides a lot of highly integrated addons out of the box, including evil mode which is a near perfect vim emulator, and a lot more. It's set up to use space as the leader key and reduce the number of keystrokes required to 2-3 fo the majority of text operations. You can figure everything out by reading the helm menu options and/or reading the command names. Vim users can start using spacemacs without any emacs knowledge whatsoever, and you don't need to use any emacs bindings if you don't want. I only use a few useful ones like C-a C-K anyway and the leader key for everything else.

is right, it'd probably be a nightmare to get things like gradle dependencies working correctly. It's probably possible if you're enterprise-grade autistic but honestly not worth the effort.

Vim isn't really minimal anymore. You need nvi if you want that, or possibly Elvis.

Emacs can go pretty far. I know there's an extension that lets it run as a front-end for Eclipse.

It's really nice not having to set anything up. Just sudo apt-get install build-essential and you're good to go. Windows can be this way aswell but it's nowhere near as easy, especially when you want to use another library.

I use Notepadqq, but it's garbage and pulls QT dependencies. Anyone have a recommendation for a retard like me?

There are three common editors which are based on the cross-platform Scintilla editor component like Notepad++ and (also) available on Linux.
You have SciTE, which is a pretty barebones editor with scripting abilities (but no macro recording like N++), and Geany and Code::Blocks which technically already count as IDEs but are pretty low on bloat and can be used for editing single source code files without setting up a project.
SciTE is still GTK2-based, Geany uses GTK3, C::B uses wxWidgets.

They were busy getting shit done.

It's the same paradox behind why there are always nvidia and intel fanboys shitting up this board from Holla Forums. $3000 of hardware to run imageboards and this year's texture/map pack for a console port of an FPS.

Its native language for writing extensions is much better than vim's, so it has higher quality extensions. It also makes managing packages easier with a built-in package manager and (optional) high-level configuration interface.

With the right extensions it's almost a superset of vim. Its standard keybindings aren't as powerful as vim's, but it ships with a full vi emulation mode you can enable and there are packages for emulating vim. The most popular package for that is evil-mode, which is also part of Spacemacs, a group of nice extensions that tranforms Emacs.

Emacs comes with an incredible amount of built-in features. Not all of them are useful (like the tetris game and the psychotherapist), but most of them are and the rest is still fun.

And it has support for a few things vim doesn't, like images and proportional fonts.

Because people are so used to working with convoluted, overengineered environments (as mandated by the market, which cannot possibly be wrong about anything, ever) that they can't imagine working outside of an IDE that reins in the impenetrable bullshit for them. Eclim exists for a reason, after all.

Emacs' default keybinds are unusable, but that's pretty much the only disadvantage it has compared to Vim, whom most people only use because of its comfy. And even then, doing advanced tasks in Emacs is usually more intuitive.

If you want Vim's keys in Emacs, I've found evil-mode to be sufficient.

That's true, although you can also use other languages in Vim if it is compiled with support for them. In Neovim you can use any language as long as there is a bridge for that language written. Neovim does not have to be re-compiled with language support. Neovim is still young compared to Vim, so it will be a while before we see the really powerful plugins that can be written. Neomake, Deoplete and Chromatica are already worth switching from Vim.

But only when running in the GUI, right?

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This was an idle dream of mine for a while. I honestly wonder how viable it would be to build an android today given modern consumer materials science and computing power.

Perfectly viable.