Alright, girl here. Just came bored to check out what Holla Forums looks like on here, and this is the first post I see.
So I'll give you a point of view here, and hopefully a little faith, not by just saying "oh im a grill and am not like this" but like, telling you this is not something that just implies to a certain group, like, well you explained.
Some people just are assholes. And even so, I believe its because they feel justified to do so.
So I have a boyfriend now, we've been together for a year, I love him and do things for him I never would have imagined doing for anyone, even at the simplest.
However I did have another boyfriend before who would feel justified I suppose, to be online "dating" this other girl, from another country, like you are talking about here. He continuously lied about how they werent talking or involved in any way, although I did by accident twice see nudes they were sending each other and they were completely infatuated, and now, they are together. I couldn't care less, however I just wish he had stopped wasting my time before and just been with her, however I ended it because I couldn't trust him. But even through all of that, he was completely obsessively jealous and controlling of me when we were together, and I wasn't allowed to even leave the house while he was at his job, and talking or seeing people, I lost pretty much all of my friends, both guys and girls, he just couldn't trust me with them, I never ever cheated or showed or did any sort of tendency towards doing so, its something you would at least hope to except from people to have the moral not to do so. I have always had that firm moral. He talked about his ex having cheated on him and shit like that, and he would even become abusive about this shit like, he was, mentally, and even so he would lose his shit, and if I did something he didn't like he would hurt me, I never feared him, I just wanted to be understanding and maybe gain his trust, but he always just became more crazy.
Now I'm with another guy, of course things aren't always "perfect", but I always give a 100% into our relationship, and I think people always should, not whine about their previous experiences or some shit, your past and your problems are your past and your problems and you could always get support from your partner on it, but not blame their personal problems on you.
Gee, I mean. Of course its not always complicated like that, some people don't even feel need of justification to cheat or whatever. They just do it out of pure interest maybe, I don't know. Some people just take themselves before the other person. Forget to look at how their partner feel, and just get dumped into their own lust or fears. We are all individuals with our own desires we find hard to control, but I mean love is a strong phenomenon, and when you do really find it, you are willing to accept a person with their whole desires and such. Jesus, alright, I saw about one or two months ago, nudes of this other chick my bf accidentally (I hope accidentally at least) put on my hard drive which had been a month old. It hurt, and got me worried sick to my stomach for about a week, and a long while after when I did think about it but I did see we were still going strong and in love. And I didn't wanna ruin that, because that probably didn't mean anything, especially when he loves me like that.
Everybody is an asshole their own way, love is love, sex is just sex I suppose.
I'm trying to wonder what a person really wants if she claims to love two people, maybe its just for sex. Maybe attention.
Then of course theres this poly thing, but I mean that would at least involve the both people knowing or taking part in it…
Everybody needs their morals, and we can't just trust that everybody has them, but yet not to lose faith that people do.