Mindless shitposting. Start your own thread. Stay out of mine

Mindless shitposting. Start your own thread. Stay out of mine.

I'm stealing this thread

Don't tell me what to do nigger

Yep. Thread is officially mine now

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I'm disappointed by the lack of mindless shitposting OP was supposed to do.

Shame on you OP, you can't even shitpost properly

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Yesterday I took a dump, a mighty behemoth of a turd and lord did it stink. Yet I fished a single colossus hunk of fecal matter from the toilet and ported it onto a plate. Not just any plate, my good china. I set the table elegantly and began to play classical music from my expensive but tasteful sound system.

Then I sat down to my turd, my glorious shit and began by inhaling it's delicate scent. It smelled like poop. Turning it over with my hands, not wanting to waste it on mere silverware, I inspected every crevice of my veritable Mount. Shitmore, yet where the faces of Presidents might have been there were only corn kernels and the occasional undigested bean. The beans and corn kernels I set aside for later use. Delicately, I tore a small portion of waste and smeared it across my lips so as to give myself shit lips. Then I took the remaining dooky, fashioned it into a cylinder not entirely dissimilar to a shit dildo and began to fellate it. Each time the poop graced my tongue I was greeted with a foul taste that could only be described my fecal matter.

Finally I could take no more of the foul substance. I had to have it. As Beethoven's Ode to Joy reached a mighty crescendo so too did I as I stuffed the log into mouth and swallowed, pissing my pants in joy as I did so. I blacked out in happiness and the memory of this event was blurry forever after and yet it seemed that before I had fallen into a restful slumber I had updated my journal. Carefully, I opened it and read the days entry detailing what it was that I had done. I was appalled until I found a single entry that described the event:

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT hgXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A BIG ONE XDDDDDDDD A GRAT ONE XXXXXXDDDD CONGRATS MAN XD

WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair kuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh

xDXDXDXDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH

HOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY SHIT

whatr the HELL

WHATA FUCK MAN xD

i just fall of my chair kuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh

xDXDXDXDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OMGOSH

DDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL

In a sense by making original content of feces, its not really shitposting..

Posting cuckhold porn, bestiality and general dumb nigger copypaste is what constitutes proper shitposting in my opinion.

The Hollercaust Tycoon.

God damn you make me angry you little faggot. I can just see you now, sniggering at having posted another Holla Forums thread. Flicking back and forth between threads eagerly waiting for (you)s which are the only form of social interraction in your life. You've probably spent every night of 2016 this way, stuffing cheap processed food into your mouth as you shit up MY FUCKING BOARD with your vapid horseshit. The closest thing you have to friends are the ants living on the crumbs inside your keyboard, at some point we could have counted your mother but she probably doesn't go near the room now, even reaching for the doorhandle reducing her to a sobbing wreck. I can picture you reading this and thinking of an epic zinger to reply with, as you idly swing one of your poosocks around your head. The grin on your face revealing your yellow teeth accented with hints of green from copious consumption of Mountain Dew, the ends of your fat sausage fingers stained orange from Dorito consumption. To call you subhuman would be degrading to subhumans, to call you scum inadequate since that's the only thing you produce. You are the lowest possible form of life, you are to single celled organisms as an abortion is to a person. I'd tell you to kill yourself but you're so fucking filthy your corpse would probably re-animate and continue as usual. An eternity of being flayed alive is not ample punishment for the severity of the stain you have left on this world, having to touch your rancid hide for even a semptosecond would be a greater punishment than that to whatever unfortunate entity had to carry out the act. Even once the stars have burned out, and the universe is an endless black void dotted with dead celestial bodies, it will be a worse place because you existed. For the love of god and all things holy, leave, and never come back.

great pasta.

I disagree. Posting original shortstories ARE shitposting.
this user did good

The Philosophy of Shitposting…
If I post a photo of shit, does that make it a shit post?