You're suddenly transported 2,000 years into the past, somewhere along the...

Colton Watson
Colton Watson

You're suddenly transported 2,000 years into the past, somewhere along the Mediterranean. Using whatever is on your person, or in your immediate vicinity at this moment, how do you impress your new colleagues?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_messiah_claimants

William Perry
William Perry

No internet or power so my computer is useless but my Zavasta m88 is gonna scare the shit out of them. I'll also use my knowledge of the future to assist my new Roman friends. I have a somewhat conversational grasp on Latin so hopefully I'm not completely fucked. Ave Imperator.

Liam Roberts
Liam Roberts

I don't know the language and I'm shit with people. I'll live as an anonymous bum while I try to build a working telescope, write down all the advanced math I know, and hope that's enough to impress someone in power.

Jonathan White
Jonathan White

I sell my track pants, which is the only thing I'm wearing, claiming they're the finest of Asian silks. I use my denarii to travel to clothe and sustain myself while traveling to Rome, where I volunteer to be a Alpha as fuck legionary in the Roman army.

William Carter
William Carter

Sorry fam, Legion contract is 20 years long and only open to Romans. Your probably gonna have to join the auxiliaries or a mercenary company. And probably get killed/catch some weird disease.

Elijah Cruz
Elijah Cruz

I'll cuck every male of the empire

David Harris
David Harris

poor socially awkward beta 2000 years in the past filled with weird diseases they have no defense against.
They'll probably just kill you provided the Gauls don't catch you first.

Julian Allen
Julian Allen

Aw fuck. M-maybe I'll travel north to the British isles? Their old ass English couldn't be more alien than Latin to me. I could probably be one of those naked Celtic swordsmen.

Wyatt Davis
Wyatt Davis

naked celtic swordsmen

The Picts? Well, I guess you could learn their extinct language that nobody today can translate, thats if they don't immediately kill you because you are wearing clothes and have a great lack of paint on your body

Aaron Nelson
Aaron Nelson

Lets see; 2,000 years ago was around AD 16 when the Roman Empire was reaching a golden age of prosperity. If its along the Mediterranean they'll probably be packets of small trade settlements full of people speaking a mix of Semitic languages including old Egyptian and Vulgar Latin. As I continue towards the city of Rome there will be people speaking Greek, Etruscan, and perhaps more patrician Latin tongues.

Ideally I would have my tablet along with the USB solar charger I happen to own with me. Otherwise I'd have to bring my laptop which is the only thing actually on me at the moment. Maybe i'd fashion a generator by smelting some copper coins or some shit but realistically I'd have to look for a way to actually survive first. Maybe I'd show them Skyrim Remastered or GTA V or some shit before the battery dies and become a Wizard
The British did not speak English yet. they spoke the Brittonic Languages. A class of celtic. Also Old English was much closer to German. If you can understand German you could potentially understand some of Old English. Modern English Lexicon is based on the London dialect of Middle English, itself made up of folk slang. Then mixed with a bit of French after the Norman Conquest, and finally add a change in pronunciation after the great vowel shift and thats why English no longer resembles German.

Jack Hill
Jack Hill

Unless you're some kind of hyper-prodigy mathematician, they would already know of your mathematical ways. The precision of pre-Roman architecture was no accident.

Ryder Diaz
Ryder Diaz

Pretend I'm a prophet who's here to bring the messianic jews the word of god, preach forgiveness of sins and everlasting life in the kingdom of heaven in return for belief in my word. I'll use my considerable advanced brain power to heal a blind guy by washing the infected crust off his eyes out with homemade soap, raising the dead with advanced cpr techniques, and tell everyone they have to believe my mother was a virgin. Then, I dunno, go to Jerusalem and throw a shit fit at the temple moneychangers maybe.

Blake Davis
Blake Davis

Pfft. You'll just piss off the Kikes who'll have Romans crucify you for your heresy. Then major damage control will set in and people will forget you exist in a week, trust me.

Caleb Harris
Caleb Harris

And then some guy will kill you for that.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_messiah_claimants

Shit is mainstream as fuck then and now, just 12 years old living in a cave will take that for "original".

Samuel Scott
Samuel Scott

I'd sell my clothes and buy food, a weapon, and new clothes. Then I'd go and find people to rob, moving from place to place.

Hudson Walker
Hudson Walker

Well, other than my guns I don't have anything around me that would be very useful/impressive. And once I'm out of ammo, the guns would be useless too. I am, however, an electrician. Given enough time/resources, I could probably make a very basic electric generator and motors. Maybe even light bulbs, if there's a really good glass maker nearby.

Cooper Carter
Cooper Carter

Probably die and kill a lot of them because both of us have weird diseases with no defenses against them.

Daniel Nelson
Daniel Nelson

lol good luck with that bro XDDDD

Parker Kelly
Parker Kelly

Declare war on Judea and kill every single kike on the planet before they scourge future generations

Robert Rivera
Robert Rivera

They didn't have the formula for pi, the trigonometric functions, the method for making a mirror or the method for making a lens. If I could manage to communicate these I would be okay.

Anthony Cox
Anthony Cox

tfw nekkid on the turlit with nothing but socks

s…salve, guys… wanna see some neat, uh, fabric?

Jaxon Gray
Jaxon Gray

whip my dick out, like a man.

Gabriel Edwards
Gabriel Edwards

I'm a 6'4 /fit/izen. I look like a Greek God.
I don't need to bring anything to impress them.

Brayden Ortiz
Brayden Ortiz

show them vid related on my phone

Christian Moore
Christian Moore

I got a few really colourful tattoos, I imagine that's be pretty weird for them. I only have my phone on me so guess either the torch app or the music player would impress them.

I'd like to go meet Jesus I guess

Nathan Richardson
Nathan Richardson

Probably could make some rudimentary penicillin out of moldy bread.

Jackson Lee
Jackson Lee

tattooing existed back then though

Ethan Clark
Ethan Clark

I would travel to Rome, start acting like a moron on the forum, do silly dances and sing in my own language and get myself to be known as the village idiot so I can live off the scraps the plebs throw at me

Justin Wilson
Justin Wilson

grab Italian made firearm right behind me

Would fetch me some slick robes and slave girls down at the market

John Carter
John Carter

Makarov
9mm ammo x3
Cigarette pack
Sunglasses
My Olive-Green jacket
Hunting Knife
PS Vita
Backpack full of food

I would find civilisation and live among them as a protector. If that doesn't work I'm gonna go on a killing spree.

Alexander Clark
Alexander Clark

I open up my 3DS and show them Pokemon and then the 1.8GB of hentai I saved onto it (i had no access to a pc or phone when i did that..)

Charles Smith
Charles Smith

Impress everybody with multi variable calculus, chemistry and basic aviation

Henry Foster
Henry Foster

why do you have all of that on your while posting on 8cuck?

Luke Rodriguez
Luke Rodriguez

Vape pen with wax (thc concentrate) not vape liquid
Sweats
Socks
No shoes
Hoodie
Macbook
I would probably use my knowledge to vein status not the items i came with. I know how to make gun powder so whatever civilization I fall into will be blessed. Also building a generator isn't hard so the gift of electricity as well. Also matches and stuff like that

Thomas Ward
Thomas Ward

Macbook

Wyatt Flores
Wyatt Flores

vape
fagbook

/reddit/index.html

Henry Cruz
Henry Cruz

Lol you have no arguments over a mac you are just following what the "cool kids" say

Chase Morales
Chase Morales

I didnt realize this was an exclusive club

Andrew Phillips
Andrew Phillips

At least I don't have to find patches to make my OS work properly with my hardware.

Adrian Martin
Adrian Martin

it is, no normalfags allowed
now get the fuck out of my board

Evan Brooks
Evan Brooks

Tbh I can do anything you can do on whatever you have with my macbook. You don't even hate macs because you probably never used one. you are just jumping on the "I hate apple because its popular" train. You are just a contrarian, the other word for hipster

Sebastian Stewart
Sebastian Stewart

finally get to see what a real trebuchet is like

Camden Davis
Camden Davis

the ones we have today aren't real?