Holla Forums, you've got to hear this shit that happened earlier today. Too complicated for green text...

Holla Forums, you've got to hear this shit that happened earlier today. Too complicated for green text, so just deal with it

gf and I had just got done having sex upstairs. Afterward, I threw the condom in the upstairs trash can because what could go wrong? About 20 minutes later, gf and I are downstairs watching TV when we hear her 8-year-old daughter giggling upstairs. gf yells, "Heidi, what are you doing up there?" Heidi comes right out of the bathroom to the top of the stairs… with the condom in her mouth… BLOWING IT UP. My jaw dropped and my gf is all like "HEIDI!!!" She jumps up off the couch and knocks the ashtray off the coffee table and onto the floor. Both of our cigarettes land on the carpet and become buried beneath a pile of other cigarette butts. She starts sifting through them and grabbing handfuls and burns the fuck out of her hand on one of the cherries. My gf screams at me to go deal with her daughter, so I run upstairs real fast to take it away from her. At this point, the condom is blown up very full, but what happens next is the end-all of this story. She tilts it upward while blowing it up and a huge load of my jizz pours right into her mouth. She immediately starts gagging and drops the balloon on the floor, but her mouth is already full of me right now. She starts spitting it out and it's all over her hands and shit. She's all like, "That stuff tastes and smells weird" and I rush her into the bathroom and have her gargle with Listerine until she can't taste the sperm anymore. My gf comes up finally and is all frantic asking if everything is alright. However, her daughter has my jizz all over her shirt, shorts, and it's even running down her chest. gf cleaned her up right there, but the memory will stick. It's only a matter of time before Heidi reaches social maturity and realizes what the stuff in that balloon really was. I hope I am around to see the look on her face when the light bulb turns on.

Pic related. It's Heidi.

lel

Hedi the dirty lil condom expander.

10/10, would boner chuckle again

Absolutely Glorious!

This is a greentext thread now

That was good op

You technically gave a cumshot to a 8yo girl and got away with it. I'm sure you made hundreds of people jealous

asshole kys

Interesting, if true.

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nice samefagging op

how's your cum taste OP?

I'm convinced he came to Holla Forums because he saw funny greentexts on reddit or some shit

This sounds like something Nick Nyberg would write.

wew

nice mspaint user

op here. here's what it looks like on my browser

thanks

Still, if it had, what a wonderful encapsulation of the lower classes. Broken family, whore of a single mother, smokers, daughter chugging her mom's bf's jizz. Next time you post it, you should add the part where you get dinner at the closest gas station then come back to watch WWE.

seems legit thanks user

OH SHIT THEY KNOW
ABANDON SHIP

what's your opinion of this bit of land

No try again

The north is alright but I dont really see them as fellow dutchmen, the south should be nuked into oblivion though
They have the best fries though so that makes up for almost all their flaws and their hilarious accent

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And this one?

Hate every single thing about it, except the women
my gf is spanish actually so I'm aready kinda spicpilled but I honestly dislike spain and its inhabitants, mainly because they have slaughtered my people for years during the 80 years war

And how about those former colonies of yours

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I saw this same fucking story a few weeks ago.
Stale pasta OP

it wouldve been the same reaction from me, even if it was fresh

you know way too much about our history man

anyways indonesia is still a 3d world country, especially after that shitskin soekarno died
I absolutely love the food though, a friend of mine is an indonesian and his mom always invites us to dinner, best homecooked food you will taste in a long time, the people are alright too aslong as theyre not old, im still a stupid belanda in the eyes of indonesian freedom fighters

This reads like a Literotica post on some pedo site.

t. middle class virgin

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OP is rekt

I have seen this post so many times on 4chan's Holla Forums, how many times have you posted this here? Also not hating; that slav is qt.

o

Recycled but….. still keks me,

lel, OP should know better than to lie about such things.

keklings

Cuck a doodle doo

Eddy Merckx

CUCCBOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Best post here.


middle class virgin > hood rat

Wow!

that was a good story op i liked it

haha

middle class fuckmaster > middle class virgin > hood rat

czechm80

we just dont kn ow

No, we just don't know