Last night, I finally manned up enough to get a hooker and lose my virginity. Right up...

looks like an abductor decided to play doctor

I've never had my boner die this quick.

I considered that but it makes no sense, I don't believe in alien abduction and even if I did, why would they abduct me?

Can't be this, a lot of the shit was said to be surgical by the doctors. Like, my ribs were at one point crushed and then patched together by some kind of metal wire and bolts and shit, but they also said that it's way too excessive and that basically there's twice as much shit on my ribcage than would be necessary and that a surgical procedure like that is not done in the modern world. So basically illegal third world botched operation that somehow ended up not killing me, which is freaky because I've never been to a third world country…

Also, my parents are really nice and everything and honestly it makes even less sense than alien abduction.
I don't think there's anything supernatural going on but it's still inexplicable because I honestly have never been in a situation where all these weird things could've been done to me. I was hospitalized for a leg injury a few years ago, but had no surgery for it and was never put to sleep or anything…

Kek.

True, but I have no idea when and why it would be done the way it was done since the doctors said it's not professionally done. I can't think of a time when I've "lost time" or whatever, there's no clearly visible scars either so I'd have to have forgotten literally years and that just isn't possible since I'm not like 60 or something.

what is your excuse for not showing one of the x-ray pictures

could it be that you are a fag

Do doctors usually let people take X-rays home with them? I didn't even ask because I figured it isn't allowed, I can ask tomorrow when I'm going back for some more tests and whatnot.

!voodoo

I was in a car accident that nearly killed me and have all of my x-rays. I'm the one from earlier who suggested alien abduction. As a /x/ frequenter, this has me intrigued. Post some proof please. Anything you can.

requesting proof OP
this shit is weird and cool and i want to see this freaky xray

Post the proof OP you needle dicked faggot.

Cool story unless proven otherwise.

requesting dick pic (for scientific study purposes only)

...

I don't have any proof but I'll ask to get the X-rays tomorrow, then I'll post them. Right now I have to go to bed or I won't wake up early enough, I'll start a new thread when I get the X-rays or if this thread hasn't 404'd post them in this one.

If your parents tried to kill you while you were a kid needles would have grown out of your body depending on the age. And the age we're talking about is also the only age where you wouldn't remeber anymore. It doesn't sound likely.

So, alternatives to that theory.

"Hey let's abduct that guy over there and just put needles everywhere in his body, just for fun." Really makes no sense. It would of course explain, kinda, HOW they got in there. But as strong as we are on the how-front here as weak are we on the why-front. That said, IF this is some sick ayy lmao joke, it would make sense to top the joke off by making this whole needle bullshit only be revealed right after you finally lose your virginity. Alien tech could probably calculate where to put your needles in order to pull that off? Maybe?

The weirdest part is how you have no idea about how they got in there. Can this have happened in your sleep? I doubt anyone can sleep that tightly. Have you been in a hospital under full narcotization? Maybe some psycho nurse or someone else psycho who visited you did this? Problem is
So yeah, not very likely either. Not impossible though, but still, just a really bad chance on this one.

Ok, so the other way you'd forget about something like that is certain form of hypnosis. If you did that in some therapy or something I'd say your therapist is probably a fucking psycho, simply because the other alternatives that come to mind are ridiculous.

OR, speaking of psychology, maybe you have some weird split personality that does this to itself and you just forget.

Another huge problem: This shit would leave wounds. Which fucks with a lot of those theories EXCEPT for the alien one, IF you believe aliens can make wounds disappear or something.

This is a fucking weird riddle. Go to the media with this, it's worth a story for sure. If someone would put a gun to my head and say "pick a scenario!" I'd probably pick the alien one, honestly. But all that comes to mind just seems weird. If you're trolling: Weird/10

No scarring, surgically implanted, bolts and pins and needles and etc.

Sounds like you had a very sketchy operation when you were very little. Ask the doctor about this possibility - it's possible that these implanted bits of metal could not possibly have let you grow properly, in which case this must have been done to you recently.

It is also possible that you were drugged and abducted, and that this was done to you by someone for some reason, but who would do something like that, and why? It can't be some country's fucked up experiments, what would a bunch of pins and bolts be testing?

Are the needles actual, hollow, medical kinda needles, or are they just thin, pointy strips of metal?

And most importantly, who and why the fuck would put one in your d—

HOW WOULD YOU NOT NOTICE A LONG PIECE OF NEEDLE IN YOUR PENIS WHEN YOU ARE FLACCID?

The biggest problem is just figuring out how the fuck noone noticed the scars. Really, because of that, hospital and aliens are pretty much the only scenarios that hold out, I think.

I think that if it were done long, long ago, long before he was done growing, the scars may have gone unnoticed, or maybe even just unmentioned to him.

I am preeeetty sure the needles, like other foreign bodies that you get into your body as a kid, would normally just grow out. Maybe not ALL of them, sure, but OP would have noticed this much sooner. I don't think the "child abuse" theory has much of a chance here, but I may be wrong, I'm not a doctor.

What do you mean grow out? As in, be ejected by the body? I was thinking that, rather, as OP grew the foreign objects would cause extremely noticeable symptoms as they collided with organs or interfered with growing muscle and bone. This wouldn't be "child abuse", not something done to him for some emotional reason, but I think just a dirt-cheap alleyway "operation" for something when he was a tiny little user.

Just an idea, though.

Tbh I'm pretty certain, now, that he's full of shit - again, how in high hell would he not notice a needle in his penis when it's flaccid? Is he hard 24/7? Is his peener a static, solid object, when at rest?

Yeah chances of him trolling are pretty high. But I am pretty interested in aliens and stuff like that, so maybe, just maybe, if we follow his story we may end up with something /x/-tier. But, of course, chances are it'll just be some boring shit.

With "growing out" I mean the body literally very slowly "pushes" them out of the flesh as it grows. As far as I know the body doesn't just let everything stay inside once it's in. ()

Say, /x/friend - How do you figure, about the aliens shit?

I'm very interested in aliens too, but I by no means think they've done anything other than glanced at our little toy ball. What could we possibly have that they couldn't find on a less volatile planet? Why would they care if we see them? If they can get here, then far and away it's more than likely they would get on with extracting Earth of whatever they wanted with little regard or care for our civilization, like some two-legged ants hiding in some ayy lmao's house.

i frequently get bizarre little and not so little pains through my body, ranging from 'ow that kind of hurts a bit' to 'holy fuck am i dying'
most are contained to my torso but they'll happen in my arms rarely.
maybe i have a similar thing?

also, question for OP
have you never had issues with metal detectors? you'd think with that much shit jammed in you a metal detector worth anything would have gone off when you went through.
or has that just not been an issue until now? if you've never been on a plane or gone into a courthouse, you might've just never encountered one.

Well, as long as you post proof at some point.

Out of curiosity, do you still have all your organs?

Maybe you were drugged, and some back-alley surgeon stole your organs. It doesn't explain the lack of scarring, but hey, it's something.

few fun facts:

if you're into weird shit and find this concept interesting do some research into lithopedian babies - the ultimate nightmare fuel for those of a weak disposition
the creepiest example of this was a guy called Albert Fish who again is the sort of guy /x/ lurkers would enjoy reading about

Well, first of all, the obvious shit is that the universe is simply too big to not have aliens have visited us. There is evidence in the history of mankind to be found every now and then but lately everything is so stuffed with lies that it is hard to find solid proof for literally anything. However, me and people around me have seen UFOs, so thats something.

To understand WHY aliens would come here we have to take a step back and wonder: Just how free are they in their actions? Do all aliens act as a hivemind or, which I find more likely since it works that way for us, too, is every alien ultimately it's own master? Because in that case some aliens could literally just be tourists, checking out humanity for shits and giggles while others may be part of some organization with an actual purpose or whatever. It'd explain why so many reports of abduction are so different from each other while the aliens still looked the same (then again many are just full of shit) but most importantly, I find that just more realistic. If every human had a super advanced future spaceship and could fly around and do whatever the fuck they want of course they'd pick up animals from other planets and check them out.

ayy lmao

Casual… Aliens. Alien tourists, refugees, sightseers, hooligans even. Holy shit, I can totally see this happening, now. I never thought of this.

ayy

If it had been 1 needle I would have believed it.. maybes.. but more? all arond yo body? plus chains in yo ribcage? yeah ok

Honestly man, think of it this way. If you had a spaceship, would you not go out and explore, not giving a fuck about anything, as long as you still can?

nobody ever seems to
like, they just assume that beings advanced enough to travel bajillions of lightyears would just ignore casually checking out other planets

You are 100% right. I've never been exposed to this idea before.

Not the person you responded to but this is pretty much the main argument I give against people who think aliens would just kill us
Like if youre advanced enough you dont go and wage war against everything, you just check the planet out, do a bit of sightseeing, maybe start and embassy but overall you would give a fuck about the planet too much

I believe aliens are us from the future.

we would totally check our past selves out if we could now. human evolution is not done, evolution is never 'done'. experts say humans will evolve into animeesque beings: huge eyes, small nose. sounds a bit like alien to me if you take it a step further.

So fucking weird. I'm not even high, why do I come up with stuff noone else does?

Well maybe at first you'd be like "yay I can finally kill someone and not be hunted by the goverment because the universe is too big to have an eye on every crime!" but eventually cutting up everything would just become boring? I bet a few psychos are out there, but still. I think the majority is probably just exploring. And everyone has their own way of doing that, right?

Why the fuck would you have needles inside you?

Why would there only be one race of aliens? There should be countless. Really the only question it ultimately all comes down to "is warping possible?" but there is just too much we don't know and even more shit we don't know we don't know.

We've already turned this thread into an discussion of aliens, so roll with that.

Advanced aliens would most likely be like us or like octopi. Seeing how those are the most adaptive species that could survive and do a bunch of shit
Did a small course on this shit in college, was pretty neat but I dont think he was very truthfull

yeah that, there are little reasons ethical and smart species would kill anything they want without studying it and preserving it like the magnificense that life is

what? I never said there would be only 1 race. in the future we will need to colonize more and more planets to keep surviving so its only logical aliens (we from the future) would look very different from each other depending on where youre from.

Look at it this way though: You had a REALLY bad fucking monday. Why not go look for a planet full of monsters and just kill one to let out some steam? To some aliens, we must look like the worst assholes.

humans now are creating new races of themselves as well, mainly mix races but its still cool to see

it's hard to say what would be logical for aliens. we assume we are so logical and smart while all we do is acting upon our emotions

Well you said "I believe aliens are us from the future" and not, for example, "I believe SOME aliens are us from the future."?

Anyway, so now we have time travel up in this discussion. Did those needles travel back in time into OPs body?

Aliens wouldve done the same thing to get to their point, I doubt an alien civilisation wouldnt have wars, eat meat etc
We are cunts that is true, and aliens would most likely be less cunty, but I doubt they would just say yeah mang these guys have wars and we had wars 1000 years ago so we must kill them

yea. now imagine an human species that has to live underground because the sun their planet is orbiting is too strong. they would be pale as fuck.

failed abortion or blocked out child abuse and OP was adopted.

oh. I meant it as in "I believe all of those alien races are us from the future". but yea, just an idea.

I dont believe OP

Nah, m80. There's probably lots, and lots, of vastly different body designs, most of which we can't easily conceive even fictionally. We take things like two-lobe symmetry, our sensory organs all being on one appendage, jointed limbs, distinct limbs, in-one-end-out-another digestive systems, etc. for granted, when nature could very easily work with entirely different systems if dealt another hand - and there's no reason we know of for these to be the "defaults" for life.

I don't think warp or FTL reasonably exists, but that intelligent and successful life spreads anyway - it just takes a really fucking long time.

Well obviously that wouldn't be the general opinion but maybe some idiots out there still think this way. Just like some idiots here would think this way.

That'd mean we'd assume we are the FIRST race and every other race in the entire universe is just us from the future? Chances are pretty slim for that.

but thats my point. those typical pale, large-eyed, two-legged aliens look too similar to us, so they could be us from da future.

but then again, how very different could life be? you need to walk, to find food and a partner to reproduce (or not if youre something like a shroom) so aliens having legs make sense etc. so lifeforms on other planets will probably look similar to something we already know.

Sounds neat, the animals would adapt to the sun though so its a bit less likely, probably that theyre too far from their sun would make more sense

True but think about what works, thats how nature works
If theyre from a planet similar to ours they will look similar to animals on this planet id imagine

True, still I dont think random aliens would randomly kill us just for the heck of it

not every other race. the universe is so fucking big, maybe those us-aliens just cannot travel very far away.

I'm just speculating shit anyways

best dicussion here in months /b

You need to walk, eat reproduce etc., but check out how insects, cephalopods, and vertibrates have figured out how to go about that differently.

Maybe one or more of their limbs are flush with their bodies rather than being specific parts. Maybe they have a singular row of limbs along their body. Maybe their lobes are front-back rather than left-right, or they have three or four. Maybe they never developed anuses, and simply regurgitate their waste. Maybe they have more mandible bones - maybe their ears, eyes, brain etc. are on their body, or on separate appendages. Etc. etc. etc.

I have had a small piece of iron or wood under my skin for the past 10 years, ive tried getting it out for years but I dont want to cut that deep, I can make it out but it hasnt moved in a few years so I dont care, never gave any complications
Its between my finger bones but I dont know how deep

yeah

It's probably REALLY disgusting now..

assuming this is true, why wouldnt the body try to get rid of it? bc aliens……..?

I forgot about a band-aid some day and the wound closed over it and I panicked but being the dumb kid I am still today I ignored the problem and it eventually got through my skin lf its own

It has stayed the same brown colour this whole time, I can feel it if I push it but it never infected or moved significantly. maybe one day I will gather the courage to tell my doctor I didnt take care of a foreign object in my hand but for now I dont really care about it

is it visible that theres somethingn under your skin? can you post a pic?

I guess because its too deep and It might be organic so my body took it as its own, I dont think aliens would put a small brown thing in my hand for shits and giggles

Its not really visible, it looks like a faint weirdly shaped mole but if you push it you can really feel something moving deeper inside the hand
I dont own a camera or a phone so I cant really post a pic

Your body has likely formed a cyst around it, preventing it from affecting the surrounding tissue and your overally health, but it's still probably fucking disgusting in that little capsule.

so maybe its just cancer under your mole or some shit? how do you know it's wood?

I'm the user earlier who was in a car wreck. I have metal rods/screws/pins etc, all over my body as a result of it. I don't see off metal detectors. They're titanium alloy. So it is possible his are something similar.

Because I got a big ass splinter when I was 8, when I pulled it out it broke off and that brown spot stayed there. Tried prying it out with a knife a couple years later but I couldnt reach deep enough but I could move it a little, seeing how I wasnt in the mood to cut open my hand I left it

why didnt you had to get that shit removed?

what in the fuck?

MK ultra? ayy lmaos?

Post pics and timestamp for proof.

GHOST AND ALIENS ARE THE SAME THING

SPREAD THE WORD

Well, I did in my left radius and ulna. One was replacing my right femur, I had it removed shitty as that was. I have one that is in my r humerus still. But the way it is, they would have to cut through muscle, tendon, and bone to get to it.

So, while it may be more comfortable to remove it… For now? Letting it stay. As surgeons told me it would be incredibly painful.

You know too much.

We are watching.

You've been abducted by aliens/occultists

i could fap to this…
i will fap to this

pics or it didnt happen

I think it's safe to assume OP is full of shit until he posts pics.

10/10 thread though

...

Can you feel them inside you? How many are there still left?

...

i could fap to this but i won't
trying to break some of the faggy shit i've jerked it to

OP won't deliver.

...

he said tomorrow you tard

there's no tomorrow on 8ch

what if I only jerk off to pictures of solo or multiple females, never once is a dick involved?
But yeah futa on female is cool, just that most futa is either solo or on male

...

oh yeah shit I forgot

futa artist detected, fuck off

By that logic it can be assumed that futa is 200% gay since it is

worrying about whether itsgay or not is gay
what the hel guys
just fap dont think

let's put it this way:

i don't like how i feel inside when i finish jerkin it to certain things
however, i feel good inside when i finish jerkin it to certain other things
thus, it would make sense to limit or at least attempt to limit myself to only things which provide an overall good experience as opposed to a part-good-part-bad experience.

faggot.

I feel the same way

feelsgoodman

I feel awful.

hm
I never feel bad after jerking just tired so I wouldnt understand
but makes sense what youre sayin. you may proceed

bt why would you feel bad? like sick or wut? de hell. guess youre not gay enough for sum shit

how awful? as in 'I should jerk to this' or 'my stomach is grumbling'

you lost your wizardry. how much poon you conquer is inversely related to wizardry.

i guess the word would be disappointed?
when i jack it to shit i don't approve of or try to avoid in all other aspects, it just feels shitty. i guess recognizing your own hypocrisy just doesn't feel good.
however, when i get off to something i really really like, or something that registers as good in all ways, it still feels great afterward and i stay in a good mood. get what i mean?

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT YOU WERE DRUGGED AND ABDUCTED AND SOMEBODY TRIED TO FUCKING SELL YOUR ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET?!!!??!?!

...

Update OP?

Where are your X-Rays?

Wouldn't the X-ray have ripped all the other metal shit out? Or was this not an mri?

What do think user?

At first I thought OP meant the hooker had a needle shoved up her twat

it's the next day OP you massive faggholio
post the goddamn xrays

This, for fucks sake.

Okay faggots, OP here and as much as I still don't believe in aliens, I'm starting to think there's something really fucky going on. I went to the appointment with the doctor I first talked to, but after waiting for six hours, a nurse told me to go home because the doctor would not see me. She didn't tell me why, so on my way out I asked some other nurses and doctors on the way if they knew anything and one of the doctors that I also saw told me that doctor had called in sick. He also told me the X-rays had supposedly vanished. I'm not buying that they somehow just happened to accidentally get lost somehow in a hundred years. More fucky? I had the most fucked up nightmares in years, I can't really remember clearly but I kept waking up literally soaked in sweat, but in the morning my dick did not hurt almost at all anymore, I fapped twice and it just stung a little when I came and feels kinda weird when I piss. No idea what the hell this is, sorry I couldn't post the X-rays or see them again myself to even describe them in detail…

OP is obviously shitting us
Jimmies pretty rustled but it was a cool story so I guess it wasnt that bad
Well played OP, cheers

Post a picutre of your dick as compensation.

I once swallowed a ball bearing, pooped it out the next day

keep the updates coming nignog
even if this is fake it's at least interesting

OP is a FUCCBOI

ayy lmao

Started out decent then you went full retard, try /x/.

I feel like I'm supposed to know something about your post.

Mexicans will do this to you…

>not aliens

Why the fuck are we looking over this? until we see proof im gonna say its bullshit

Maybe it wasn't in the penis, but somewhere else like the bladder or something? I don't know