Dung Parliament

Storytime of
Vote Loki #1

Superheroes and politics are no strangers to one another, starting from way back in the day when Captain America asked us to buy war bonds. Superheroes always have some sort of veiled connection to government, either through commentary with Osborn or Luthor becoming powerful or some sort of legislature discussion with Civil War. Or maybe they got for the direct route and have Spider-Man fist bumping Obama.

But wait! What if the president is white? We've seen the results with how many instances of Trump and Hitler being alluded to in comics, but maybe Harvey Dent wanting to make Gotham great again while being controlled by nazis, but that's not subtle enough! We need actual villains to start running for president! Especially Loki, the posterchild for uncomfortable tumblr art. Special thanks to the artist, Langdon "Yes, he works at Marvel" Foss!

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Please not that Marvel is actively making Loki look more like Tom Hiddleston despite Loki never really looking like that ever. In fact, in the previous pages, the team of Avengers are from the movie. I think the writers don't even care about continuity, but are just referencing the movie for the expense of casuals that want to feel politically sound by pretending Loki represents THIS canidate

I wish I knew how to explain why Foss' art is the way that it is. I don't know if it has to do with color, linework, or that he keeps drawing people too similarly to E.T.

If only law abiding citizens could defend themselves in some way with some kind of easy to carry weapon. Not tgat they would need guns in a gun free zone, but something like that.

And Loki's face looks ridiculous.

If you're wondering why Loki can run for president, it's because that despite being from Asgard, he is a myth given validity through the American people. Arguing this point will probably destroy the comic, so don't.

Angela, after getting her series cancelled has now been reduced to being a bodyguard for Loki's campaign.

SEE LOKI'S A WOMAN
THAT MUST MEAN IT'S ABOUT HILARY
TAKE THAT

Wait a minute, a new Marvel comic without an appearance from FemThor? Is Marvel finally done trying to shove her down our throats? Rest easy, the answer is hell no. But sadly, that's the end! I'm not getting the next one because who gives a shit!

I think I know what he's modeling off of.

Loki looks like Jerry Seinfeld in a shampoo commercial.


I can't tell if this is an intentional slam on Hillary or not.

Also, I think it would be more interesting and entertaining if Loki just disguised himself as both presidential candidates and ran against himself. Then he's guaranteed to win no matter what.

This whole series will be redeemed if we get a page where Loki talks about how much he enjoyed fucking a horse.

I thought the guy who does Dr. McNinja worked on this? Or did he just do the cover?

Now, I'd believe Paul Bunyan or Pecos Bill- they're all American myths. That would make a pretty good read, actually, given how important tall tales and creative lying are to folk heroes in this country.

who the fuck is this bitch and why does everyone want to break into her house

That's really stupid because there's a valid way around it and it's not that hard to figure out: He's immortal and the constitution allows someone who was a resident when it was signed to be president (it's how the first 7 were) .

All they needed to do was say that and have Loki produce a portrait of a man who looks just like him.

Why does Loki have bespeckled belly hair piercing through his shirt, and why does this, in both lineart and color, look like a CD-i game.

Hasn't that already been done, though?


Well, that wasn't actively terrible. That's about the highest praise I can give it, since it also wasn't particularly good. More just sort of average and mediocre.

I don't think that there's much chance of this series getting better in the future, but I wonder if it will get worse?

Is this the same author who drew tranny shehulk saving his chrismass party from selfish aliens who wanted to buy that building?

I don't have the heart to read this, so if you could tell me if it is enraging or not I'll be thankful.

fuck off retard

It's obviously not Hasting's work. Cover was done by Tradd Moore, who also draws Luther Strode and did first arc of new Ghost Rider.

Jesus Christ this artwork is horrendous. The artists can't even manage to draw the characters' faces consistently, which makes me pretty sure that they're just tracing them. Also why is a god who's damn sure not a US citizen and most fucking definitely has a criminal record being allowed to run for president?

Holy shit, you're right.


I always found Tradd More's stuff really interesting to look at, but for some reason I always feel a little nauseous afterwards.

As mentioned

It's actually really easy to create a way Loki is a US citizen as he's immortal.

The basic plot could easily be made to work as a mini-series

Issue 2
>unfortunately, proves Loki is Mr. Key and Mr. Key existed

Issue 3

Issue 4

Both your repeating numbers and hypothetical plot are excellent.

I love the idea that Loki is suddenly in over his head because of the throwaway oath that everyone glosses over during the inauguration because it means something to him.

How can the authorities be so callous, corrupt, and stupid that they don't construct some temporary housing or shelter?
So that's why.

I'm pretty damned impressed that they managed to smuggle those giant, two handed weapons into a gun-free zone.

Then they start punching people with the guns.

Why the hell is the strong independent latin@ womyn looking at Loke in a wierd way in the last pic?


Is this not supposed to be based on nordic mythology? I've not read much of it, but that would seem to be a resonable assumption.


So she writes a biased hit piece. It's good that they've captured the essence of the ethics of your average journalist. It makes it a bit hard to root for her, though.

Also


Your post is good, but I don't quite understand this part.

I'm not that poster, but I think I get what he meant. Cap mentions the Civil War while talking about Lincoln, which sparks the idea in Loki's mind that if things continue as they are, with him being obliged to veto every single budget proposal, the US is going to wind up with another civil war. Thus, the only way to protect the constitution is to step down and let a less perfect president take over.

Thanks man.

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Correct.

You seem confused by this common fact, user.

A slight alteration (depending on just how oath bound Loki is in the Marvel universe) is that Captain America offers to give the oath of office as a sign of good faith and Loki, eager to see an enemy kneel, accepts.

Cap says they should shake on it after the oath, revealing a pin covered in Cap's blood (which makes it a blood oath which Loki is definitely bound by in the Marvel universe) which pricks Loki. It's brushed as Cap trying to get one last laugh on the trickster deity.

I know you warned us about the art right off the bat but… oh well. I guess as long as no one has to do any poses and there is no action at all, it won't be TOO distracting.

This panel is in a comic book that cost MONEY? At the very least they could have asked someone else to do layouts for action stuff, I can tell right off the artist is only really used to drawing people standing around. This his just absurd looking.

I'm gonna need you to start writing comics, indefinitely.

This is the worst thing I've ever skimmed. I couldn't make it past 5 pages.

Pure writing-wise, Civil War II is way worse. This just looks awful.

Man this guy really didn't get the memo on Hydra being racist white men who probably vote Trump with all those diversity hires

is that?
no it couldn't be, could it?
Bravo Nolan
r
a
v
o

N
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I did a thing.

You just saved comics.

I checked and apparently he's been writing it. Which is bizarre because Dr. McNinja has been consistently good.

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>He has to personally read and process tens of thousands of legislative documents because he is better at it than anyone else
>He is exhausting his magic by being in a hundred countries at once in order to discuss things with various other leaders who he can still fuck with, but he can't spare the energy to do so

Luthor's presidential campaign was mind-numbingly boring in the comics.

If DC was smart, they would be running the Penguin for president right now.

I hate that I'm having a fun time with a Marvel comic…by coming up with better ideas on how it'll play out.


In fact, thinking about all the ideas we tossed around, this comic run could be a comedic run about the different ways Loki tries to get out of the presidency. But since the main character is some short-haired women who will be teaming up with FemThor, I highly doubt this comic will be fun or interesting.

A double ringer:

Why did he lose it anyway? I know Nick Fury whispered something in his ear, but I never cared to find out what it was.

Mayonegg.

Nobody will ever know. He just suddenly couldn't, then Jane Foster wanted to for some weird reason, and then it got really heavy on the cuckoldry overtones.

I think Nick Fury whispered Marvel's SJW-friendly 10 year plan to him.

the parallels are striking.

I'd vote for loki just to piss off whor.

You're a fucking white male

Wasn't it revealed later that Thor's Mom did some magic on it so it would go to Jane and make Thor unable to wield it to teach him a lesson? I distinctly remember a page with a bunch of Norse Goddesses hovering over Odin after Frigga admitted something to that effect.

Which would mean that Thor was right from the start and that Whor was a foul thief who only had his goddamned hammer because something had been done to it to take it from him.

That's not good, though. You have to "feel" right. Not "be" right.

Since we're all talking about Jane anyway, has there been ANY point where she was written as a really good hero? I mean, I've obviously seen the rage pages where she's written the worst, but does she have any shining moments where you could almost LIKE her as Thor? Because if she's always portrayed as quick to violence, easily tricked and all together kind of a dick, I could at least give them points for consistency.

Second Term
Surprise Storytime of

Vote Loki #2

I wasn't planning on revisiting this series, but all of us talking about the possible endings and how they're all better than what actually will happen left me curious. Marvel decided that this should be a biweekly series instead of the standard monthly ones. I guess it's because they knew that people would be clamoring for more art from Langdon "Yes, I work at Marvel" Foss.

But that's too bad! Because this issue is heralded by guest artist Paul "I am an artist for Marvel comics" McCaffrey.


Guess which superhero will not appear in this issue at all?

"Paul 'I am an artist for the biggest comic company in the world' McCaffrey's art looks a lot like Langdon 'I am being hired for my artistic merit by a billion dollar corporation' Foss!" you scream from the rooftops. Well, I'm…not really sure what to tell you. I guess they got a guess artist that draws very similarly to the other artist.

Here's the confrontation with FemThor that was teased in the last issoh it's already over.

In my opinion it feels like Marvel is just trying to shove this character in every comic-based orifice that'll take it in order to remind readers that this character does in fact exist and how she's supposedly very popular despite the contrary.

But that's crazy talk.

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And what kind of cleverly subtle political piece would it be without a character saying that they want to make something __ again? Go Marvel!

But enough about that, what's happening at Loki HQ?

It looks like Loki's campaign headquarters is host to a group of cultists doing some sort of cult ritual to a goat.

This continues to be one of the most unpleasant comics I've had the misfortune of pointing my eyeballs at.

Oh, man. That Loki is so conniving! Well, that's the issue. I suppose the series will just be about this lady trying to out Loki as a poor candidate and it not working. That's a little bit of a dropoff from our theories of him actually becoming president and then trying to get out of it via political assassination.

On the bright side, at least this is one of her least flattering portrayals yet. Even setting the artwork aside, the main thing I came away with from this little exchange in terms of characterization was that female Thor is a useless cunt who can't read.


I find myself wishing that the art wasn't so shit, myself. Hastings is a decent writer for the most part, but with visuals this bad, it's hard to really get into the story.

Inserting Thor into a story based around Loki is reasonable.

Yeah. So put THOR in the story. Not Jane Foster cosplaying a cheap imitation.

FUCKING WHAT? Get your norse mithology right you fucking normie!

He didn't fuck a horse. He shapeshifted and got fucked by a horse!

and gave birth to odins horse too

I'm an utter pleb when it comes to comics but, quite frankly, I would love this if the art wasn't so fucking shit. As it stands though, it's an entertaining enough romp.

That political ad is full of LIES. No one loves Carol Danvers

Her appearance in Gwenpool (same writer, I think) also paints her as violence prone and easily tricked. In this she sees a headline, barges in and then admits she's only useful for hitting things with a hammer. I don't know how she's portrayed in her own book, but I've only seen her be consistently portrayed as a stupid, violent cunt so far.

>Yes, it's my cult because I'm a god and people literally worship me

Nah, it's just a New York thing. Because the only places with voting power that matters are NYC and Albany, New York only ever gets the governors that NYC and Albany want, and they always turn out to be the hottest garbage since anime. Same shit with Illinois and California.

That would be too clever for marvel cuck writers who masturbate to hillarys face and the feminazi symbol every other hour.

Someone better cap all these ideas, maybe we can find some drawfags who can make this comic a reality. And bonus to pissoff marvel.

I hate her with a passion strong enough to swallow a thousand suns.


In "The Migthy Thor" she -as jane- just talks about how she has cancer as, and she is dying , and stuff.

And as thor, well. She just spends the day going arround hitting stuff and making people know, as if reminding them that she IS thor.


This would be an interesting book, if it had anything to tell, say, there is kind of a plot going on in asgardia with bor being corrupt and hiding his shit from odin, who wants his son back and considers fem tor a thief.

But instead of focusing on that storyline, they just show her in diferent places hiting shit, BECAUSE SHE IS THOR.


Also, they fucked up all of loki's characterization and all the character growth he got in agent of asgard. And i hate them because of that.

The only two enjoyable chapters i saw on that series, are the ones that actually followed an "old adventure" of Actual Thor, the white cis male one. Not because of the testosterone, but because it was inventive and there wasnt a single mention of cancer in those two chapters.

I hate fem thor because she insist in being something that she is not. Hell she doesn't even have her own identity. She is not the only "other" owner of the hammer. hell, she is not even the first woman to be a weilder of the hammer.

Thing is, all of the other owners had their own names. Eric Masterson was thor for a time, but that was because the original was literally fused into him. When they got separated, he became Thunderstrike, Beta Ray Bill just remained beta ray bill, and ororo? She just kept the name Storm when she got it.

What i hate (aside from mentioning her cancer at least once per page) is that she treats the name Thor like a tittle and not like the name that Freya gave her son when he was born.

Like anyone at Marvel is aware of that. They don't read comic books!

What was Jane like back in the day? She wasn't really around when I was a kid in the late 80s/early 90s, so I don't know if she was always a cunt, an actual likable character, or just a blank slate that they decided to turn into this thing.

Don't you mean Sif? Or is this some comic book mythologi? Is Freja some kinda milf in Marvel?

As a Californian, I can confirm this. A large chunk of our voting power is locked up in the shitty costal cities, and we in the south and the valley suffer dearly for it. There has been talk of splitting the state into 2+ parts in order to get those faggots away from us, but they have too many votes to ever make that happen.

I'm getting real sick of newfag kids proposing that everything needs to be some sort of meme or made into a comic in order to 'piss off tumblr/marvel' like anyone would notice or care.

If I wasn't so sure it was intended to make loki look bad I would actually cheer that speech.

She is all about equality and shit but she don't want to let gods run for presidency like any american citizen? I'm sure that bitch wouldn't complain if Blade run for office.

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Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to tell the Asguardian what he can and cannot do?

You know one thing? I'm incredibly sad because they'll use some bullshit plot twist or strawman to make Loki fail and make their Hillary representation win… or just use violence because heroes.

Just look at

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Didn't Langston Foss illustrate a comic written by Anthony Bourdain?

He did. It was called Get Jiro! and it was about a city who high luxury crime is mostly centered around restaurants, with people killing to get good seats and decorated chefs ruling the streets like mob bosses. There's Jiro, a violent chef who is caught between two factions trying to recruit him. I hear it was a best seller, but a lot of terrible things are best sellers, so I have no clue if that says if it's good. Foss' artwork looks a bit better in this book than what I've seen in the Marvel comics, though.

The man is a master of his craft and lives his every day with joy and contentment. He doesn't deserve this.

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Go throw another burger on the grill, Bubba, and toss back another Budweiser. Men of taste are talking.

I bet you couldn't tell me the difference between his sushi and those you can pick up from the grocery store because there is none

You know both sushi and burgers have good and bad quality versions right?

I've had good sushi and 'fast food' sushi and the difference is pretty noticeable the same goes for burgers.

Take it to /ck/, you two.