I am 29 years old and I have never put my penis inside of a vagina

I am 29 years old and I have never put my penis inside of a vagina.
So for my 30th birthday, should I
a. hire a prostitute
b. try to fuck an ugly chick
c. kill myself

note that I've wanted to die since I was 21

Maybe try to socialize. Lame excuses don't count.

1.b
2.a
3.????
4.c

A

Go to p411 and get it done

...

Why cant you do the first two then the third one? Have you ever considered that sort of thing before babe? HAVE YOU?

First are you attractive, have a good job, live on your own? Have you ever made the first move? Do you often overthink?

Here is a pic of my waifu to lighten your load.

Why is it such a big deal? Your life doesn't revolve around sex, you know?

You need to get your priorities straight, user.

t. Virgin

Are you or ever have you been attravtive? Tell me about your looks.

Honestly, it's not hard to get laid.

1 and 2 can be done easily at the same time, and it would be an awesome story is you did the 3rd at the same time.

I used to be god l>>6121795
I hate being alive.
I love figuring out mathetmatics but i hate women.
Women are literally bullshit. THeu want drama for no reason, and they never expand upon a theory
they just try to look pretty so a big dick can fuck and impregnated them

kill yourself while fucking an ugly prostitute.

women are literallly retarded but they are good for one thing aka giving birth

...

no wait

fuck yourself while killing an ugly prostitute!

Stop being a faggot, sort your life out

being a woman is literally easy mode,
just go to starbucks,
go to dunkin donuts,
meet a cute guy and let him jizz in your vagina

oops i'm pregnant lol, never expected that

Why do I reply to these threads? None of them are real. I'm wasting the effort to try and help.

-Getting laid isn't really, really, really that hard, even if you're a loser and not very attractive. The law of averages is on your side, and your biggest hurdle is your desperation and anxiety about this. Doing it once and realizing it's no big deal will be the best thing you could do.
-Start with easy mode. Go to omegle, the chat not the vid section. Just start by asking whether they're male or female and only talk to the females. This'll save time. This is the easiest way for the more autistic of us to get practice flirting with girls. Add a bunch of your fetishes and fantasies as interests, this'll give you an easy opening to talk about sex. Get them to prove their identity, exchange contact information, have phone sex and webcam sex. Think of it as training.
-Create a fake facebook with your real pictures. Download and install Tinder. Don't have a smartphone? Install bluestacks, it's an android emulator. Just spend a few nights right-swiping the girls you'd actually fuck. Eventually some will come up as matches. Keep in mind a few are bots. This girl swiping you has explicitly told you she's interested in fucking you. That' all the pressure off. Do not get attached to her, as she's a slut and will have all manner of issues, but if you absolutely must get laid, this is an extremely easy, lazy way to do it.

wow, all these guys are hitting on me, but i'm growing an embryo in my uterus

any wolmen who replies with
getting laid is hard
is a troll
Men are constantly trying to fuck you girls

Men actually hate women
because all we wanted was one good woman to stay true, but we learned that women are sluts who fuck the highest social ladder

You should celebrate by using your newly acquired witchcraft power to seduce women.

with a bit of thought, that's easily bypassed. think of it like this: if it's a instinctual directive, then it's just as easy to fool as any other lame bodily function. we function our best when mind rules heart.

anzwer iz
d xD Fugg a fat female friend xD She's nod bredty :dd but druzt me she will feel much bedter in bed dan you would dink :dd pluz she would be dizease free :dd judgmend free xD

Hoogerz are unwidtignly greatign serial killerz by deir gold unfeelign segz xD

Baggpage xDgom
Go to esgordz or asian bad houzes xD
Ged some bagaina :ddob

FUggign FIldErz
B A C K P A G E Dod goM

Why are you niggers so obssesed with getting laid? Just install tinder and be ready to get aids.
I'm more conflicted about the lack of good women to get married to.

Visit a different playground for some new lolis

rape

If it's been 8 fucking years since you wanted death, it isn't getting any better. Kill yourself, my friend.

As a nonvirgin I can say that sex is overrated. Don't have sex for its own sake. Fucking random sluts gets boring. Sex with someone you actually care about is miles better.

You just have a mental problem that you need to take care of. Anyone, even the retards and christian fundamentalists can get some pussy but not you so could it be that the problem is you?

So go to a doctor tell him you have anxiaty when ever you see a woman. He will give you some pills and send you to see a specialist that you will see few times a week for three years and they will monitor your progress. After this if you still are a loser with a mental problems, proceed to kill yourself.

Maybe it is natures will or plan that your genes do not get passed on…

...

Do A and B, but then do C last.

get a prostitute

Which is why it's a good idea to get your balls surgically removed

Read and practice The Game and Rules Of The Game.

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just fuck an ugly chick, OP

The Game - was written by a bald stuttering jew who made up the entire story.

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…………………………………………….. ==ฏ๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎๎ํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํํ=

NO

Congrats on getting that far user. I'm not that strong as you.

d. become a master of the arcane arts.

Why do you care? Do you operate on other people's value systems and feel your self-worth affected by the fact that you haven't jammed your fucking penis into a piece of meat? Or are you just sexually desperate to the point of being unsatisfied with masturbating. If it's the former I'm going to be very disappointed

How exactly do you get to 29 years old and never at least get one chance to have sex?

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gay

learn the high arts
fug a prostitute though, if you have lots of money you might get a good looking one and even with ugly chicks there is lots of sentimental bullshit to wad through.
Killing yourself is always the answer though, it lets go of all the pains of existing

Why don't you just kill yourself after fucking an ugly prostitute?

Maybe if you go through life without worrying about relationships? You purposefully ignore dating/courting and avoid talking to any women your age. Or the opportunity just never presents itself. It's not like women come up to the man and just ask for a relationship.

Pretty simple really. It's true in my own case.
25+ and I've never had a girlfriend.

I'm none of the above

why does the baby have tits

Getting laid is overrated.
Sure its fun but then you have to deal with an annoying person who is attached to the vagina.

They'll make you do all sorts of tricks and courting just to stick your dick in there. I wish I didn't have a sex drive thats always distracting me and making me do shit subconsciously to get laid.

I'm seriously wondering if the OP is a hidden personality mine…

Hi, me in the future.

If I manage to remain virgin for more 4 years (which will mostly like happen) and to not kill myself (which I wouldn't be so sure, who knows…) that will definitely be my future

Hire a prostitute or wait until you're 30 and achieve wizard status.

Pic unrelated - it's Dizzydollie.

same here… (Lvl. 24 but yea…)
The thing is, I even live in a fucking small village/small town, hence Tinder and that sort of stuff doesn't work either…

lvl 37 wizard reporting in.

might go to far east prostitute land next month.

if u try a prostitute don't just sit on your hands because you don't know what to do, expecting things to happen because you've paid. It won't. You have to be pushy, the prosi usually won't want to have sex., she'd rather just take your money and get out asap.

Found that out 1st hand.

how bout you fuck an attractive girl you insecure fuck? Get your most autistic friend to go with you to the bar as your wingman. Find out a drinking game to play and ask some chicks if they want to play. many nights will be busts so entertain yourself as if it wont happen. If you cant manage that after a dozen tries, then just kill yourself and an ugly hooker. because you probably dont belong in the gene pool if you cant manage that

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of course, anonymous, who would ever lie on the internet?
Post pics of yourself or gtfo

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We should start an user escort service. There are enough socially awkward femanons to go around that would never make it as normal escorts and it'd be good money.

ah, you mean those with dicks, yeah right

wait. it goes inside? gross

wow. someone more pathetic than me

that's pretty sad bruh

Don't you have any fat ugly female friends? Fuck one of them its 1000% better than visiting a prostitute.

Do none of you get that women hate men for literal exact same reason?? Femanon here, and everything your saying I can relate to 100%, because I guess I'm little more autistic than the majority of girls haha. But yeah okay, it's easy to get a one night stand, but is it easy to find someone who wants to be your leggit certified boyfriend? Not at ALL! Most girls don't want JUST sex. That's the reason why it's so easy to find, cuz no one wants that.
Can you guys just accept that life is hard in general for most people like us?

Nice bait, but I'll answer in case some user falls for this.

All you have to do is suck off some beta cuck working in IT until you both get married. That's it, you won the game.

You have 2 choices now:

1) All you have to do is be a lazy piece of shit, nag and fuck other guys while he's not looking(sometimes he won't do anything at all if you tell him up front that you're fucking other guys).

2) divorce his ass and live off of alimony for the rest of your life

Fuck you.

The correct answer is to hold tight to your virginity and become a wizard.


This. I'm 22 years and a virgin. I never give my virginity any thought until I see normalfags crying about how terrible being a virgin is.

Wizardry is a LIE.

probably you're some libido-less, beta faggot and that means you don't have a hard time. Some of us are actually men and really need pussy

If you're not inventing mathematical theorems in your spare time, then you're in denial.

Life is about fucking, if you're not fucking, you're not living

Oh shit, that's a rare tripson pic. Got anymore?


You wish loser. I handle my sexual urges myself, I'm not some dumbshit normalfag like you who measures his self-worth by how much attention he gets some skank to pay him. Neck yourself.


Living life how you please is never a waste.

Blokes who can escape virginity via that method are lucky. I simply could not fuck an ugly or a fat. It would not be the slightest turn on and be 100% revolting.

My brother used to say fucking an ugly chick is like having a wank inside someone elses body, because you have to be detached from what your doing because looking at her is just a turn off and you'd go soft. Like having a wank, you have to be in your own head thinking of some hot goddess.

He could do it. I simply could not.

Prostitute.

There's two things you need to understand for this to be effective.

1) The only reason you need it is that you've spent years pinning all your sorrows and social failures on this thing you haven't done. Basically, the problem exists in your head, you've created it. That doesn't make the need less real. You're not going to have a chance of unfucking yourself at this point if you don't fix this.

2) The sex will probably be unsatisfying, embarrassing, or degrading in some way. And there's no real way of controlling for any variables to avoid it. In particular, paying more isn't really going to help you; you might get a fifty dollar cum dumpster who actually gives a shit when you explain your troubles and shows you some patience and gentleness, or you might pay four hundred for some twat who fancies herself high-class ass but gets pissy at you for wasting her time if you talk too much or have trouble getting it up and rushes you out the door after you bust your nut. Whatever happens, if it doesn't work, try again until it does. It will work eventually. Get your shit together.

Then….who makes dinner?

why don't you fuck an ugly prostitute then kill urself

Subjective.

As I said before its not as disgusting as you would think and with the lights off she feels pretty good

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