I bought and rode my first dildo today

I bought and rode my first dildo today

AMA

Please tell me you're female and tits or gtfo.

You already know the answer

Goddamnit user… Does your butt still hurt?

not anymore :^)

Look at those numbeers.

Show us your boypuci.

are you a faggot OP? or are you a grill

does wanting to fuck a cow-titted futa make me a faggot?

You already know the answer

Confirmed this time mates.

Enjoy my hairy asshole, faggot

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why is your right ball so red

The seam in my boxers chafes my balls when I walk

anal play causes impotence and incontince

Ignore those other faggots, you got a nice ass. People who can only like shaved, "girly" buts are neophytes still holding on to delusions of heterosexuality since they "only" fap to traps and 2D or such.

When you're an OT VIII fag like me, you see the world through a clear lens. Thanks for the butt.

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Timestamp on that.

It's like a Rorschach test made from vomiting shit.

I'll take a beetter picture of it for you

Don't forget the timestamp this time

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Nice

I hope this looks ok. I don't know how to take these kinds of pictures

That's great now do another with you using your toy

Toy

i'm making gay porn for Holla Forums…
what the fuck am i doing with my life?

OP you are doing what other OPs are rarely doing: Delivering what they promised

i beetter get my own banner for this shit

ya gay man

You will, now go get your camera

tits or gtfo

Rather… testicles or gtfo?

I demand pics of your erect penis and asshole drenched in syrup. Delivar.

i don't own any syrup of any kind


i made a video instead

Any viscous fluid would suffice. However, video is beetter. How did it feel OP? Did you fantasize that cock beelonged to a gorgeous futa?

That's a lot beetter you gave a hard on.

i have frosted mini cupcakes. i could give my dick a mini cupcake hat instead.
if not, i can slather it in ranch dressing instead.

OP delivers

NIOCE.

SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE

Where did your life go so horribly wrong that you thought any of these events were worth posting about/doing in the first place, OP?

OP you're the beest

I want to see cum.

bee more specific

i won't show my face or any part of my head though

Film yourself in a point of view/first person angle

user wants to see white liquid coming out of your dong

that's all? that's fuggin boring, user

Come on OP, you really want to disapoint user?

I see great potential there. Shave that thing and anons will bee drawn to it like a nigger to watermelon.

Not bad at all. You have nice body and a really nice butt. I really liked both of these, thanks OP. Feel free to post more whenever.

mp4

stallman's face looks like my asshole

What's the name of this meme?

no, i guess i don't

that's working too

shit, i forgot the pic

how do you top this? fleshlight of course! anyone?

There are no females on Holla Forums …Jessie Slaughter used to hang on /hebee/ but since it shut down there have beeen no females on Holla Forums.BTW ,word on the street is that Jessie is going to fist and dildo that guy from /hebee/ who offered her his ass as soon as she turned 18.Heard she was gonna stream it live to her minions…….Happy Fapping

Well Im dissapoint.It seemed much bigger in the first pic.My hungry hole wouldnt even notice that skinny lil thing.

This is why I come here.
I guess?
I'm going with yes, anyway.

6 inch girth and 9 inch overall length seem pretty big to me

like fucking the fleshlight with the dildo? or just jerking off with a fleshlight?

Nice dubs,. I think its just not the greatest angle, but what can you do. Thanks for the videos, I liked them.

10/10 OP

Who could ask for anything more?

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All I could find was grape jelly

Did you come?

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Amazing.

Yeah he did, Opiatefag, read the thread.

Well at least it wasn't a shotgun up the ass?

Why does the nigga cam whoring for us have to bee so many? Why couldn't it just have beeen some kind of cute faggy twink. God fucking dammit.

Are you seriously complaining even though OP delivered ?

Only that he's not the sort of guy I'm typically attracted to. I mean I'd still probably fuck him, but thats beesides the point.

I'm not gay and thus don't enjoy watching the things you posted, but thank you for delivering and not beeing a faggot nonetheless.

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That's the joke.

That's why I laughed

Yeah, but you pointing it out makes it look like either you didn't understand it was purposefully written like that or that you are autistic.
Anyway, thanks for laughing.