Questionable Malcontent- Roll for Sanity Check Edition

Dammit, but I like incredibly pale girls with short dark hair. She'd better undo that before the brown girl brigade shows up

Perhaps Hanners Prime is now forcing her way into Jeph's brain and beginning to hijack control of the main meme vector to redesign the contentiverse to her own purposes

Jeph shitting on better artists again.

...

IT'S TIME

this screams of "look at how not-mad i am!"

WE TAKE ALL KINDS!

Shouldn't she be unable to perform magic morphogenic shifts after losing her magic wand mana NANOMACHINES, SON nanites?

apparently she's a mutie as well as a nanotech witch

Tomorrow she'll have the power to tell the future by touch or Tarot cards or whatever. Anything goes in this hard sci-fi adventure.

I get the feeling Menstro didn't leave the military so much as get dishonorably discharged for insubordination.

Also pretty much all of his criticisms of Adams essentially boil down to "Scott Adams is a FUCKING WHITE MALE!!!"

Get down

One of the dosage edits I saved should do the trick.

Oh, we're already here my friend

HEY DRAWFAG, IT'S BAGGY PANTS TIME!

As if genetic manipulation explains the ability to produce grams of melanin within seconds. Photosynthesis is child's play next to the neuronal and arterial redesign necessary to change skin color that fast and at will. (Unless the photosynthesis is equally rapid to turn off or on).

Now, see, this is racist.
That she can make her skin brown at a whim is trivializing the struggle of PoCWoCs everywhere by implying that it's *just* a colour, which it isn't.

Jeff Jerks is a white male so he don' unnerstand.

...

...

Jeph has no idea how sheltered he is with these tweets. He fancies himself a businessman and gets triggered by telemarketers. Real businessmen turn these guys down by the dozens. Daily. It becomes like making coffee.

And what kind of pussy is this Brandon Barney guy who can't say no to a fucking telemarketer? No it's not hard to say "no" on the phone. Jesus Christ.

Jeph fails at literally everything.

Ironic retweet

Enjoy your nightmares

Just live and let live, eh Jeph? Let people create what they want even if you don't like it, right? RIGHT?!

AAAAHAHAHAHAA

AKA: I have to make decisions without googling the SJW opinion and have to reply honestly because I can't make up lies on the spot.

I don't know a whole lot about image editing software, but isn't locking important layers a very basic thing?

Christ, that overbite!

Working with layers is extremely basic, like one of the first things you'd learn in a class. Yet Jeph repeatedly demonstrates rudimentary knowledge on the topic despite being a "professional illustrator" for almost 15 years.

It also shows Jeph is this disorganized at other areas of his life. If you know what you're doing you don't need strategy sessions to deal with telemarketers. Either what they're pitching is intriguing or it isn't.

Jeph is like Costanza in that episode where he thinks of the comeback hours later and turns his car around to deliver it.

...

Calm down, he's comparing him to a particular lapse that momentarily brought Costanza down to the level that Jeph operates on at his peak.

Between Jeph and whoever the fuckface behind Mighty No. 9 is, who scammed their backers better (worse)?

In fairness, reading Questionable Content doesn't brick your computer.

Yet.

[poop emogi]

No 9 hands down. At least there were no surprises with Jeph. Everyone knew what they were buying into, as pathetic as it is. On the other hand, few pegged Inafune as a huckster no-talent scam artist that wouldn't deliver.

Now the people who paid into the subsequent Mighty No 9 Kickstarters, well, they're a special kind of idiot, almost as big of idiots as the Star Citizen cult members.

The Encyclopedia Dramatica Featured Article chronology in the No 9 article is a work of art.

This is how you lose customers.

If only Jeph were this honest in the above tweets.

Get real. You know as well as your critics that you're stuck with your audience. I will give Jeph credit in that he's a master of convincing virtue signaling. It's kinda meta: sneaking in virtue signalling in post decrying cynical virtue signalling.

...

Not really. Treating your customers like shit tends to kill your business, no matter the very small niche of weak-willed nu-males who come to your establishment for that exact purpose.

My bet is that all those years of treating their clientele badly has paid off and they're in the red. Dora is saying all that mealy-mouthed bullshit about positivity to save face, like the two-faced compulsive liar she is.

Damn it jeph not enough that you're raping that poor pooch, now you want to be able to use her to commit voter fraud?

Check your higher lifeform privilege, canine suffrage is the progressive position.

QC is supposed to be a not too distant current year, right? Shit might actually progress to bestiality and other such important animal rights.

What do mean progress, they legalized coalburning didn't they?

Let's be real: Dora's incompetence is the main factor. Faye basically ran the place, gave it its image and personality and at least fleeting success despite being incompetent herself.

Dora hires and fires people on a whim, has no strategic plan, no handle on finances, and seems to be surviving on startup capital provided by daddy (unless we really think that 20 year old Dora managed to come up with the $200k+ it costs to open a establishment in hipster Massachusetts on her own).

I mean, the whole "Coffee of Doom" thing was basically an outgrowing of Dora's teenage goth days, which she seems to have forgotten about. Without the "colorful abuse" the place has no personality whatsoever, unless the schizophrenia combo of Hannelore, Emily, and Dora counts as "personality".

I'm so waiting for the full retard moment of Jeph advocating for pedophile rights. It'll be doubly hilarious given the thing with Freako and the Sam lewds.

Double pic related

Can I have a side-by-side comparison between Baggy-chan and IPP? Or at least theor respective pictures, and in IPP's case that means Jeph's profile or whatever that was.

Was curious as to what Urban Dictionary had to say on the matter and was not disappointed.

Here's today's batch.

More.

Baggy BURN

Great batch

I can't believe there's a /leftyb/

More, because you're worth it.

Hm…

Top form twitterbully.

Twitter bully you are savage and I respect that.

One day they will make a leftychan and leave us alone.

How the fuck did Faye's hair get uglier?

a zipfile, or it constitutes one disk of a multi-part archive. In the
latter case the central directory and zipfile comment will be found on
the last disk(s) of this archive.
?

Oh, god, what happened?

A while back, the artist known as Freako drew lewd art involving the underaged female character Sam, and Jeph blasted spaghetti in all directions. Now, he puts out Sam art because Jeph's reaction to it is funny.

If Jeph ever did come out in favor of minors having sex with adults, there's a large collection of screenshots showing his true feelings on the matter.

I demand screencaps.

Does Jeph ever actually replies, or does he let his other cult members defend him?

...

I think he falls into the school of "Block, deny, and seek solace in cutlery."

I don't think Jeph sperged about Freako's drawings because he's against peophilia. If that were the case, he wouldn't have had that fat sack of rotten potatoes Marigold crepily hit on Sam, before he backpedaled like the giant pussy he is anyway.

...

You bastard, you got a nice hearty chuckle out of me. I'm touched.

Holla Forums I get. It makes sense. /leftyb/ is nonsensical. Whatever, I guess. Good part about Holla Forums is that containment is automatic, at least to the extent possible short of forcibly driving people away.

I had the same problem. Every download method I tried saved a ~30 KB file, rather than the full 1.14 MB. Never had this problem before with hidden archives. Not sure if it's a problem with the file or Holla Forums.

You are the hero we need, twitterbully.

are you trying to download the one in OP or content.png from

content.png works just fine for me.

This file gets truncated, too.

test

What method did you use to download? I tried Chrome, DownThemAll via Firefox, and wget. All three truncated the file.

Open the file in in a hex editor.

It won't do any good. It's 659 bytes instead of the full size.

uh, normal save-as in my browser. firefox.

clicked and loaded the image in a new tab before saving, if that makes any difference.

What the fuck. A perfectly good piece of shitposting ruined. Spoiler related.

Okay, on second try, mini-Costanza saves to full size but only when dragging the file rather than Save As. content.png still doesn't work no matter what.

desu

For some reason this thread's page keeps getting covered in black rectangles. Only on this thread and even if I reload.

What browser/OS are you using, cause I can't get it to come up as anything more than 659 bytes. I need this to work, man.

What worked for me was dragging the expanded image to the desktop with Chrome 52.0.2743.41 in Windows 7. There's an unapplied update now that I've checked the version. It's a bit tricky to tell whether the image is expanded or not due to its minuscule size. The preview is 414 bytes rather than 659.

Not working for me with latest Waterfox on Windows 8.1. Oh well, at least I have the original. Any way we could get a hold of Codemonkey?

even twelve year olds can write better than jeph

So this 12 year old shall be known as Editfag the 4th(?)

Editfag the 4th: the young prince of cringe

Come on now, friend. I'm pretty sure that the refined gentlemen in this thread can appreciate the entire upper half of the spectrum of autumnal skin-tones.

Some examples.

Have you tried a different skin? I'm using the default one, and it works fine.

It amused me that Dora is assigned as Kylo Ren for no particular reason, but the rest was difficult to read because of the turn-of-the-century texting speak.

Who made this?

Kinda looks like what happens when something fails to access the video layer but I assume you aren't clicking on webms, not that there are any in the thread. The squares are 508 or 509 pixels by 254, which doesn't match any of the images on the page.

I'm using the same skin he is and am not seeing this problem.

half/tv/ fake Star Wars 8 script, or something.

You spoil us, baggyfag.

Dyke, Menstro and Other Dyke do not inspire me. Perhaps I will wait for Clit and R'enee.

I accidentally this on a Holla Forums porn thread

So dignified. Something about her reminds me of Star Wars, and I can't figure out why.

Ray Smixer's desert capris or Assaj Ventress's samurai pants maybe?

Can we get more eldrich horror in the next comic? I feel like we've been seeing very basic cosmofuck shit but nothing gieger tier

Holla Forums is 2haram so your country is censoring the pics

ZOIDBORG

This artwork

Was so distracted by the atrocity of Faye's face that I missed this.

Holy shit, she did eat Emily!

Jeph needs your money

Are you using Firefox by any chance? This sort of shit sometimes happens to me when FF starts using up too much memory. Just restart the browser.

I doubt Mozilla will ever fix FF's memory issues. Bunch of cunts.

Without the 'assistance' of his digital drawing library, his art is even worse when done by hand in a physical medium. Menstro sticks out as the worst, all those marker lines. Nearly everyone looks off-model as well.

Quality humor

Apparently "Um", short for "Um, actually," is the mansplaining battlecry.

...

We are dangerously close to creating a singularity of unfunniness that will suck all humor from the world.

I thought the same with the models and Brun's derpface. Hanners' right hand is atrocious as well, and Menstro's squashed head looks like Flattop.

I don't know much about comissions, but isn't that a tad too pricey?

those are bids user,
people are COMPETING for those.

Oh, god, you're right. That's a lot worse.

Are you fucking with me? You could literally commission some dosage for those prices.

Free marketeers and labor theory of value BTFO.

...

...

I'm using Vivaldi.

Why does he even bother sketching and cleaning? You could rough every comic with equal quality with how flat that shit is. The depth is shadowbox every time.

I think the rough sketching is just for show. none of his base sketches look anything like the finished product, and frequently don't share angles with the final product. Good money is that he just copy/pastes from his resource bank, and adds a sketch afterwards to show everyone that he's a serious artist. It would also explain why his drawings on paper suck so bad.

Well, it's not like there is anything on earth worth saving

...

Start with the eyes….

I'm saying that he draws things exactly like you show in your video, saves it, then goes back and throws on some fucked up "sketch marks", saves it as a different file, and claims to be a good artist.

I thought that about him ever since I saw his tutorial years ago.

10bux says he doesn't actually know why artists might sketch with blue pencils

Cargo cult illustration.

Going full Moon Over June I see.

Step 1: Cover yourself in pouches.
Step 2: Conceal your feet.
Step 3: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: How To Draw Superheroes The Rob Liefeld Way

holy shit hes getting more lazy

Yup

Pepperidge Farm gives a fuck.

for you, big guy.

It's 3:30 Am and I can't sleep. Does someone want to read about my opinion on this strip?

It's why we're here. Even though I have my watch set to Japanese time for some reason.

I don't draw with any semblance of talent, but I have a friend who does, and does well. She agonizes over her initial sketch because she says that "It's the same as the final product, only ugly". The sheer contempt and rage I feel while watching him pretend to care and use baby's first photoshop exercises to make more than her, her husband, and me combined could be measured in gigatons.

Why else would we be here? This is the friendly neighborhood jerkfest of rage. Speak your mind.

Well, first of all I can't help but noticing how much they are moving around while talking. Like I understand showing expressive motions and faces in a comic, but this is borderline spastic: the fatty one goes from posing weirdly in the first panel, to re-accommodate herself in the second one, to looking like she's about to throw some fresh lines in the third one, to awkwardly freezing on the fifth one in just a matter of seconds. Imagine if someone on real life did those movements while you talked to them. You can bet your ass people would mistake them for a mental case.

The framing is horrible, we only see the two of them upfront with a boring-ass background behind them. There's nothing interesting to look at, and that, I think, relates to what I wrote above about the characters being spastics: Jeph is compensating his clear lack of talent to design interiors with fatty acting like she's high on sugar. Just to reinforce my point let's compare and contrast to this bar to the brown autist's one: in pic related you can see paintings, bottles of liquor and ads, meanwhile the orange bar has orange walls and that's it.

The writing is pretty shitty, the fatty has no reason to oppose the bar changing, yet she does. Also, the character development is a joke. What kind of alcoholic justs forgets about their own addiction? It's like Jeph suddenly shoehorned her problem into their completely unrelated conversation about the bar just to give the ilusion of something happening in the story.

*Also they don't have fingernails and that annoys me for some reason*

The facial expressions are what gets me. It's like Jeph suddenly realized he's the new B^U and is attempting to correct 13 years worth all at once.

This is rare, but I actually agree with her. In universe, the hostile coffee shop makes sense. Suddenly changing the business model (because it was really Faye in charge all along) might make Dora feel good, but she obviously is shooting in the dark and all her employees, current and former, know it.

You know it's not Jeph. The guy is one missed scheduled pill away from another episode of self-harm. His inevitable breakup with the internet girlfriend will surely be enough.

This is exactly what happened and is yet another example of him telling and not showing. We don't get to see the journey; Faye goes to a single AA meeting and we don't hear anything else about it for 15 months or something.

Faye isn't really an alcoholic. Until the sudden shoehorned crisis, she's been a bad habit drinker since all the way back. Those kind of people really can forget about drinking (or whatever their vice is) if you give them something else to do.

I don't get it.

Up until the sudden escalation which led to Faye's hospitalization, Faye's drinking was the equivalent of routinely having a little too much cake for dessert. Not paying attention to your diet and gaining 20 lbs is a bad habit. Requiring a crane to remove yourself from your home is a major problem. Remove the forced shenanigans from last year and Faye's drinking has been stable over the history of the comic: a little much, but not so much as to significantly impact her lifestyle. Her major problem was getting too trashed at social events–unheard of behavior for someone in their mid-20s I'm sure.

...

Both a doctor and an artist? Truly a goblin of many talents.

...

It's incredible…
In the past few weeks he's somehow managed to make his female characters even uglier than ever before.

It's the only talent that he has.

...

Bad news, everybody, I made them cuter!

Thought I'd be cute and try to wrap an omit and liquification into one, but the added whitespace has disastrous effects.

these suggestions

Maybe for you.

...

...

...

Just when I thought this thing couldn't get any lazier.

No dunes, cliffs or mountains in the distance this is the blandest desert scape I've ever seen.

What is the story in this comic?

You must be new here.

I mean, I guess I'm expecting too much from him. Where are the characters going anyway?

I considered an edit, but making the last panel say "you have died of dysentery" wouldn't have been worth even the minimal time it would take.

Now there's a reaction image if I ever saw one.

DO SOMETHING

I went and looked, they're going "way out west" in the vague hopes that some archaeologists out there will have a rocket to send the kids home.

Well that sounds fucking retarded.

If the character interactions were interesting, I could forgive it, but he's taken years to set up this point. Exposition is supposed to be brief and establishing, not glacial vague omissions.

It's funny: now that you said it, I remember all that but I drew a blank when thinking about what's actually happened. The greentext story is more interesting than the real thing.

I think if you handed the setting and these characters to a competent writer there'd be something really fun to read. Instead we have Jeph.

I've heard this exact sentiment about everything terrible, from this to twilight.

That's because there are a lot of good ideas out there, but also a lot of people who don't know what they're doing.

It seems with a major property, something more than a series of books with new entires every few years, you need an idea guy but then you need to get this guy out of the way and let the day-to-day people handle the production, the guys who can remember all the lore and know their way around productization.

...

Asshole

I always love the subtle touches, like giant nose rings and vibrator necklaces.

You know, the only time I've seen a dog so miserable-looking is my own, and he's slowly and painfully dying of renal malfunction. And even then, he manages to hop up and down and play around every now and then.

The implications are unnerving.

try the French Press. ;^)

Yup, I think that dog is legit depressed and slowly killing itself. I saw it happen once with a dog who was very attached to his owner. Owner leaves suddenly for like a week, dog looked just like that, stopped eating and so on. It was pretty crazy seeing a dog be like that. Now, consider Shelby is with her owner, and looks miserable.

...

I do now. ;_;

wooo nanotech girls so awwwsoem m im a gud writer shelley giv sum dat tail here

I ask you: is this a portrait of a sane mind?

I'd trust my guns to that creature.

BUBBLES WILL BUILD A GREAT FENCE! MAKE QC GREAT!

is dis dat cultural appropriation ive heard so much about

...

0/10 Jeph, you're not even trying.

MAKE SHOGGOTH MINDS GREAT AGAIN

Has he ever?

He seems to put his best efforts to shitpost on twitter.

maybe he failed his SAN roll when Cthulhu came out of the picture on the wall.

If faye is supposed to be this much of a selfish, obnoxious asshole to her friends, why is the audience supposed to like her? Why does anyone in this comic allow her to assault them with her presence?

I know its just because jeph has a subtepid grasp on human relationships and storytelling, but fuck, this is frustrating.

Jeph and his mentally unhinged Twitter "friends" continue to be triggered by Scott Adams

Jeph is also an expert on the UK Referendum, no surprise there.

...

I don't get the first tweet.

...

It's a link to Adams' post. Here's a zoomed in version and the whole thing.

"Twitter friend". Clearly not the same thing.

Jeff's twitter friend's 5 year old approached him and started discussing UK politics?
Nah, I'm gonna bet he made it up.

No, I mean the basketball ring thing.

Jeph's insinuating that Adams is of kiddie table intellect, like some sort of retard.

...

Well, that's a pretty roundabout way of insulting someone.

Dilbert atop mt. Fuji.

I think my insomnia is finally making me lose it. Looking at this edit is making me trip so goddamn hard, I feel like I paid for the deal.

Pretty colors

You gonna be okay, user?

this is your brain on dank memes

uh jeph that's not how this works

He acts like a child who can't do the real thing and needs everything to be set up perfectly in order to do things the adults take for granted?

Make transmisogynists pay for it!

Double dose of suck.

Nigger… wat?! She's a robot what the fuck does she care about a NON-SENTIENT PIECE OF PLASTIC WITH A MAGNET!?

Jesus Christ this dithering.

Is that water tower in your blind spot you dumb cunt?

Also, holy shit the neck on the changing eye color chick

Is there anyone–or anything–that isn't out to rape poor Shelby?

THANKS DOC

Anytime.

Gavia(?) confirmed for having no peripheral vision whatsoever.

Also, a hole the size of ~5 football fields would be quite visible from ~100 feet away.

>Okay
>Sorry, my date that offered to pay for me just walked out without paying
Are we supposed to think this is okay?

You think that Jeph also offers to hurt his hand when he can't pay anything?

Probably just does it out of instinct by now. Like a lizard squirting blood from its eye.

Faye is growing up before our very eyes. Why she's not at all like the broken mess of a year ago!

LOL.

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THROWING A TANTRUM ABOUT YOU INSANE HARPY

Man, some of the stick figures in the hole are freakin' giants.

This week in QC: Faye pouts.

Borderline Personality Disorder is one hell of a drug. Thank goodness Mr. T told me to stay away from drugs.

It's amazing how someone can write about absolutely nothing for over 3000 strips.

It's just like Seinfeld.
Without the jokes.
Or subversion.
Or the raw sexual tension.

...

...

Why the FUCK does a warbot have fears and insecurities?

Because Jeph can't imagine a world or person that doesn't have to constantly be in fear everything and everyone

>Holy shit, you're right! Better take this paper-thin excuse to be upset and use it to get sloshed!

Jeph's a fucking alky and he still can't write this scenario. Reddit and the forum are probably gushing about how "realistic" this is, but it's not how it works at all. Instead of being all grumpy and hostile, someone in Faye's position would be elated with her accomplishment, especially after being complimented like that. She'd walk out, floating on air. Menstro would ask, "Where are we going?" Faye would say, "To the bar! To celebrate!"

"The bar?" asks Menstro, "Is that really a good idea?"
"Oh don't be such a Negative Nancy," says Faye, "It's been a year, it's time to celebrate. I'll just have one. You'll be there with me. It'll be fine!"

Six hours of rationalization later Menstro carries Faye home. Next morning Menstro has a moral dilemma as she waffles between covering for Faye or rolling over her for the purple boss bot.

we are talking about the guy who when drunk got into a fight with an avacado and lost. Jeph is pretty far from a cheerful drunk

Sometimes the best edits are the simplest.

It helps that this is more reasonable than what dogfucker's doing. Bubbles has issues that she's come back from the war she was made to fight and abandoned by her government and faces ridicule from the dumb civvies on who's behalf she was made to fight for when she goes out in public and when her fatass girlfriend convinces her to go to a coffee shop and she starts having a good time the dumb cunt has some kind of pathetic alky meltdown. Just imagine in the hands of a competent Jeph this leading to some kind of arc where Faye gets sloshed with I don't know Iraqi Peppermint Patty or something and realizes she needs to stop being a borderline bitch and turn her life around since all she does is leech off her friends with no goals or ambitions besides existing tomorrow for more of the same.

I agree with what you said, but learn to use punctuation, man. That was almost unreadable.

It's so perfect. The whole tone shifts with her changing direction, and it could pass if someone wanted to get it autographed.

Menstro's starting to look real familiar…

...

The more I think about it the more this course of action seems better.

Like Faye's major problem has always been people putting up with her bullshit. Martin is too much of a beta to stick up for himself and Dora only laid down the law once, even if it was once that mattered. Corpse Witch is meant to be a BAD GUY for telling her not to waste other people's resources.

Faye is the kind of person that just needs a hard slap to the face and no sympathy. She destroyed the home of what was basically her only friend(and by doing a task so simple a machine literally does it in one click), drank on the job and didn't have the wherewithal to at least try to be discreet about it, and does shit like this so regularly that it's clearly not a drinking issue so much as an issue of being a shitty person.

Which I think days a lot about JEPH as a person. Hes a drunken fuck up who's living with ridiculous piercings going into middle age, and a divorcee who clearly had no real friends and a dog that obviously presents him. But he deserves himself because instead if resolving to change in a real way he blames his personality on the drink and then spends all day virtue signaling to uncaring strangers what a good person he is.

Even in the context of laying down the law, it was Dora putting up with Faye's bullshit. Like two in-universe days earlier Dora was buying beer for Faye to drink at work.

Wait, what are we talking about? For a moment I thought you were talking about when she burned down a building but that's not it I think.

Even if these people were geographically close I'd bet they'd make excuses not to show up when Jeph calls in favors.

I've started reading Alice Grove. Any tips on how best to enjoy it? Any for the most painless ways to commit suicide?

Nice review! It goes into several problems with the story and characters (although there are many more), and I agree with it. It didn't, however, add the technical 'll add some technical stuff Handstab messed up, if you don't mind.

Firstly, the pages are numbered backwards, with the latest one being numbered 0. This means that if you bookmark a page in order to continue reading more later, the bookmark will switch page every time he updates the comic. It has happened to me several times, and is mindnumbingly retarded.

Secondly, when reading comics online I'm used to clicking on the page or pressing the right arrow to move to the next page. Here, the right arrow does nothing, and clicking on the image takes you to a new page simply containing the enlarged image. In order to continue reading you have to go back in history, and in order to go to the next page you have to scroll all the way up or down the page and click on a tiny arrow. I don't know why he did this either. Perhaps his fans requested high-res images of his incredibly detailed artwork.

At least it doesn't take ages to load, like Dumbing of Age.

What was the typo?

Thanks for introducing me to all this cancer Holla Forums.
I really really appreciate it.

When I woke up this morning, I was choking on sarcasm, but couldn't figure out why. Now that I have this thread open, the source of my discomfort is obvious.

You poor sap, you.

"Another doc, off its leash" instead of "another dog"

To be fair, it was only 34 pages at the time and the "plot" was moving faster. We're up to 146 now.

Those technical problems you listed are all noticeable and annoying. Alice Grove's UI is terrible. If it's a limitation of Tumblr-hosting then I don't know why Jeph went that route when he already has hosting infrastructure. At the very least use something like Wordpress.

The lack of indexing would be a deal killer if the strip updated more than 1.5 times per week. You can't even count as an estimate due to the frequent breaks Jeph takes. The most efficient way of browsing is pounding on the page arrows, which is ridiculous. There aren't even chapter links.

In light of above, the lack of arrow key (or wasd) browsing is even more annoying. Even QC supports arrow key browsing and the site is a crusty piece of shit from the early 2000s.

Oh, and the images aren't actually enlarged. It's the same 800x1120 thing regardless. Clicking on it just opens up the same thing in a pop-out. In fact, it'll probably be smaller given the pop-out resizes vertically and the strip can't fit into a standard 1080 line monitor.

What really gets me is that he can't host them on the same site. If he was going to go to the trouble of paying for a whole new site to be created for his new comic, he could have taken QC down for a few hours to implement a newer, beter website that has a master page with links to both comics, his blog, twitter, facebook, etc.

Fuck, this is actually happening.

Just so we're all reminded: this whole episode was brought on by Faye learning that people who aren't her are refusing to be dicks to people that aren't her.

...

Imagine for a moment that QC handled AI in a more thoughtful, or at least entertaining, way:

> OBSERVATION - A HUMAN IS ABOUT TO HARM THEMSELVES
> WARNING - POTENTIAL DIRECTIVE 4 VIOLATION! OCP CONTROLS 93% OF CITY'S ALCOHOL DISTRIBUTION. DUE TO STANDING ORDER FROM OCP CEO MAY NOT PREVENT HUMANS FROM PURCHASING OCP PRODUCTS.

What do?

Apart from hailing quadruple Satan, of course.

I'm lost.

Faye is upset that Coffee of Doom's character has changed in her absence. Now it's mellowed out. Apparently by not insulting customers, Dora and co have destroyed Faye's identity.

Solution: Engage low intelligence human in an unrelated activity and distract her with other stimuli that will not result in self-harm.

Available options:

Which one would be the best option, given the circumstances?

Sexual intercourse of course, double dubs

(checked)

The ones that don't involve sex with Faye

This man is homosex

Thing is, in this case Faye is right. He whole "shitting on customers" gimmick is realistically the only thing that is keeping the coffee shop afloat

Low intelligence human has rapidly gained ten of pounds over the course of the last year, any option not involving food is preferable.

(checked)
(checked)
I've wondered why a military robot would have feelings and therefore would like to have a sexual relationship with someone (especially not someone like Fay). Perhaps it's all all an act due to the 1st law of robotics to prevent Fay from harming herself. It makes perfect sense.

Perhaps the battle robots were used as comfort girls for the human soldiers who were far away from any women. This would further explain why she is programmed to have sex, simulate a relationship, and why her armor can be removed.

If she is programmed to accomodate the soldiers who want to feel like men by providing for a woman's material comfort, it further makes sense that she might pretend to be interested in comfort, and be embarrassed when it's offered to her, which would explain .

...

Maybe a proper robodicking will heal her

As a reformed alcoholic who has also had multiple friends in the past with various substance abuse problems, I just can't relate to Faye at all. From what I understand, Jeph bases her drinking problem partly off his own experiences - if this is the case, then his own drinking 'problems' have been small fry. Babby's first mis-adventures with alcohol tier sort of stuff.

I know that I sound like a faggot from tumblr when I say I can't relate to her ('oh this character who is meant to have my special snowflake problem isn't anything at all like me with the same special snowflake problem') and that everyone handles individual mental problems differently but even then there are at least a few common characteristics I'd expect to see. It's like her whole character is a mix of the handful (haha) of times Jeph has gotten blackout drunk, and the various stereotypes of alcoholics that he's read about on the internet. She's just not a realistic representation of alcoholism or substance addiction/abuse in general.

It's kind of insulting tbh fam
Get fucked Jeph. If you can't do something properly then you shouldn't do it at all.

600 hours on MS paint.

...

Why do you hurt me, user?
What you did was better, though

I just thought of the first thing that came to mind. Now I feel bad.

Have an interactive loss by way of apology.

Scan it with a QR scanner app on your phone, you'll be pleasantly surprised

I don't have a phone. What is it?

v.cdn.cad-comic.com/comics/cad-20080602-358b1.jpg

I just checked it and sadly the link appears to be defunct. It used to lead straight to the infamous comic itself.

You don't even need one. The loss comic is right in the middle of the bar code.

That has to be intentional. No one here is that lucky.

But if that's the actual thing you got at random, congrats , user. You have truly understood loss, and can now use the 11 holy strokes of side destruction.

That barcode pic is old though, I think I've even seen it back then on ED.

Ackchyually, t's a QR code. Pic related is a bar code.

If anyone's got a barcode scanner app on their phone, scan the barcode. It's very much in line with the discussion during the last dozen posts.

It's always embarrassing when you say pic related and forget your pic.

Beautiful.

I don't know if every alcoholic/abuser has this problem but it seems to me "slippage" is a hallmark. Like, come into work 10 minutes late, then 20, eventually start missing days. Or you do a job but don't clean up fully. Then you do a job and leave some cosmetic pieces off that the customer has to put on. Then you just start doing shitty work, skipping steps, and lying about it to the customer/boss. I've worked with plenty of these guys.

Faye just switched on a dime. Absent an actual trauma this just doesn't seem realistic. "Dora's not mean to customers anymore and my wannabe robo-girlfriend is sniffing coffee and ignoring me" is a joke. Faye should be institutionalized if this is the case. Imagine trying to explain this in a way that makes sense to anybody.

My personal theory is that the money came from Sven. It has been stablished he can pretty much shit five songs in an afternoon and gets paid thousands for it.

That would add an extra layer to the bitchiness towards him. She knows she wouldn't have a working business if it weren't for her "toxic" brother, and it drives her mad that any success she has ultimately it's thanks to what in her mind is the most despicable male in existence.

Dora is a complete failure as a business owner. Her shop is way overstaffed and despite some of them working there for years the place can't operate on its own for a few hours. The real reason is that Dora hires losers who can't threaten her position as queen bee and thus perpetually has to be mommy to the place, like some abusive mother that infantilizes her middle aged son.

Dora is the kind of owner who would insist that everybody do everything her way, down to annoying habits that don't make sense. Eventually some smart college student with a future would get hired. She'd figure out that you only need to press two buttons on the espresso machine instead of five and the product would come out 30 seconds quicker. Dora would come by and insist on her slow method, because she came up with it. After an argument, complete with the employee showing Dora the manual supports her method, Dora would let out an exasperated sigh, prepare the coffee herself and sarcastically quip, "Was that really so hard?" This would happen every time espesso came up: employee walks to machine, Dora cuts her off, and now we have two people making something with a process that's 30 seconds slower, which probably represents 50% more to the job, with Dora's passive-aggressive stress level being through the roof the entire time.

That's why her country song writing brother is successful. He takes the easy path.

Does he even still write country? I honestly have not read QC since around he fucked Faye shortly after Faye told Marten she wasn't going to fuck him.

Alice Grove used to be hosted on its own server like QC. But on launch day, the website was utterly broken: Images weren't loading, navigation may as well be a txt, the website didnt even load for some people… So Jeph, not wanting to lose his precious patreon shekels (this was back when the campaign was new) did a quick "fix": He bought a tumblr template (since that's all he knows) and uploaded the first pages there. He never got around fixing the broken AG site and just did a simple domain redirection and that was the end of the story for him.

What happened? Jeph has mentioned the QC website was created by "a friend", and around 2008/2009 it received an update that added arrow key navigation and fucked up all links to individual strips, switching from a url/month-day-year.html format to a url/strip000 one. That again was made by another acquaintance. The last update was editing the CSS to make room for the larger pages. A fix so simple, half of the people in this thread could have done it in a couple hours. And the other half in an afternoon, while learning css in the process.

In short, Jeph knows shit nothing about html, css, php, or god forbid something like Ruby. He depends on unpaid favors to get any work on his websites (which, mind you, are the backbone of his livinghood) and by the time Alice Grove rolled in, he had no one willing to help him. What are you saying user, paying professional web designers? Don't be silly! that wouldn't leave enough shekels for his two cintQs or those copic markers he horribly misues!

Why not just copy the source code from his QC page?

What are these downloads for? The filenames aren't terribly descriptive.

Probably cheese pizza.

you are assuming handstab knows how to do the most basic web design. Like I mentioned above, it has always been friends of his.

And if you argue that any retard can learn how to edit the required source files in a couple days: This is the man who has been drawing a webcomic for more than ten years, and look how his "art" is faring.

He probably doesn't know what that is

I know this is spam, but WTF is this shit?

Wow, shit, I actually remember that now. Tumblr was the backup and then it became permanent.

Given the age of the site, I'm assuming it's struggling along in CSS1, for which "half an afternoon" is almost an insult.

It's alarming that Jeph allows his main property to coast along basically unmaintained. Forget about upgrades, the Apache, PHP, MySQL, etc. gets crusty and exploitable.

I wonder if some 1337 hax0r ITT would be able to upload the edits here and there. Not a full defacing, just adding them sprinkled among the regular comics in the archive and see how long before someone notices

Some of the more subtle omits could stay up for years without anyone noticing

Yes, that's a good term for one of the concepts I was thinking of. Faye does just turn on a dime with her problem and I've never known anyone like that. Heroin addicts, alcoholics, gamblers…you don't typically do a sudden 180 from recovery back to your problem. It's a gradual process of slipping back into it due to lack of self-control that won't really be evident to those around you until it starts to get bad again. "Just one little bit won't hurt, I can control it". And then that 'little' bit becomes a bigger bit, your responsibilities in life slowly get more and more disregarded, your employer gives you a few written warnings, etc. etc.

If Jeph wanted proper drama then portraying the slow slide into oblivion that comes with a drinking problem would've been a much more interesting way to do it. Show Faye gradually come to be a pathetic and miserable figure to her friends. But nope, we get this.

Faye isn't an alcoholic. She's an unstable mentally ill nutcase who flips her shit over nothing and then remembers 'oh yeah I had a drinking problem lol'.

Jeph used a gradient in panel 5 and couldn't figure out how to make it work with his shitty PNG encoder so he just made it a JPEG.

...

indeed this comic is like fuck.

It goes without saying that Faye is a cunt but it bears repeating that this is what JEPH considers acceptable and sympathetic.

Imagine for a moment this is how your friend thinks. Trying to rip away a friend having fun then going on a self destructive bender when they realize they can't exert control over their friends to abuse who they please. That's psychopath behavior. But to Jeph it's a reasonable and acceptable motivation.

...

...

The bit in the middle of the QR code is entirely arbitrary. He could have drawn a pixellated dong in the middle and it would have worked the same.

Is this some sort of double-think?

Silly user. "Toxic" is a code word for "enforced bare minimum standards, doesn't play along with my politics, or contradicts me". Provided you don't hurt someone's feelings directly and aren't a man you can do basically anything and be considered a good person on the right side of history.

This is also why people on the so called right side can constantly bitch at each other over petty shit then make up later. Calling someone a mega Hitler is less of a crime than saying their hair looks a bit too thin or their jeans don't look good because they judge critique over shock of insult.

Faye is a good person in Jeph land because even though she's trying to manipulate everyone she never personally attacked them. Worse, she has the moral right because someone suggested she wasn't always perfect as is. Dora made Faye feel directly bad with her words instead of just trying to force her to be a certain way, and thus Faye drinking until she blacked out is perfectly reasonable.

Anyone who needs the implication of this mindset explained shouldn't be posting.

Reddit LOVES this arc and Faye.

It actually is double-think. "Toxic" is generally code for "well adjusted individual". This group of people are emotionally weak, to the point where normalcy threatens their identity. Rather than build up, they want to tear everything down to their level.

But you know there are a lot of them. Less on on imageboards. Well, at least until halfchan was overrun by Tumblr. There are swaths of naive, idealistic people who act as fuel for abusers like Faye. Even if you explain it to them and point out step-by-step the manipulation and gaslighting, they refuse to see behind the mask. Even when they openly complain about being emotionally drained, as if the relationship is vampiric, they won't listen to reason and insist that deep down the abuser is really a good person.

At this point you must as well say you were an alcoholic and stop pretending to be mysterious.

Now now user you never know. Perhaps they just have a family member that is alcoholic.
I mean fetal alcohol syndrome might explain a few things here.

The way she just for no reason she decides to start drinking again just seemes completely unrealistic to me.

Is she talking about the beer? I thought she meant
but the next panel seems to imply that what she's holding is a beer. It's so badly drawn I thought it was her wallet.

You're not the only one.

of course jeph moves the "story" out of the coffee store when I've come up with the most efficient means of vandalizing it.

I assume that it's supposed to be a brown paper bag. How one fucks drawing that up is FAR beyond me however!

YOU are like fuck, Jeph

heh

Needs more hamboigahs.

Hating customers and being an asshole to everyone? This was basically confirmed a couple of pages back.

So, she *wants* to dictate policy and make them hate everyone.
She wants them to conform to what she feels and spread nothing but hate and bitchiness.

Faye is emotionally abusive. She is a horrible person. She doesn't care for anyone else's feelings. She is a sociopath and proud of it.
The "comic" itself confirms this.

And Jackoff and his fans are shocked that people don't like her…?

...

...

That is from a christian show I saw when I was a babe. It was about angels with 40k spess muhren suits of holy armor and they could fly and shit. They would fight some devil dude or some shit. What the fuck is it called, shit

Don't worry, surely most of the cast that don't work there soon will. That's far easier than remembering what the hell everyone does and checking the fan wiki might take 10 seconds.

But she's al alcoholic and her father committed suicide in the most nonsensical way ever portrayed in fiction. That excuses everything.

Umm…I think you mean mysterious???

She has clearly been shown to be a srong woman in distress, how DARE a cisheteronormal scumbag like yourself question her???

It's amazing how that makes almost as much (or more) sense than the original.

Holy shit in the span of two panels she goes from maybe sympathetic to utterly insane.

That's the real motherfucker. The bare-bones setup isn't so bad on paper. Girl has happy life with dad, they love each other more than anything in the world, there's some red flags in his behavior that she only catches in hindsight (and feels guilt over it), then one day he blows his brains out in the backyard with no explanation. It leeaves the girl devastated at losing her most beloved person in the world, goes in a downward spiral that ends with her ramming her car into a tree, with a degree of ambiguity that she might have been trying to commit suicide in grief. Years later, she develops a drinking habit, which establishes a parallel and the implication that she's going down the same path, maybe even emulating him. It's a depressing story about a person who has lost a loved one and is going down the same road of self-destructive behavior that claimed him. There's so much you could do with such a simple premise.

All good and peachy, except that it doesn't matter. At all. It has no impact on Faye's behavior, much less actions. It is almost a footnote. Nothing changes after this revelation, there's no moment where the pieces click in place, there's no proper emotional buildup and as a result there's no satisfying payoff. All we're left with is an embarassing, tacky mess. It's messy, it's clunky and it's cheap. It's transparently manipulative to anyone with a lick of common sense. No wonder some people here theorize she's lying about the whole thing, because it's so artificial. Frankly, any reader who doesn't feel insulted at this must be an utter moron.

By the way, how funny that the phrase "too close to home" gets thrown around so much. It's fitting, but not in the way they think. As these anons >>616927 put it, it neatly illustrates the author's issues with, quote, being a shitty person and casts the whole thing in a new light once you realize he's essentially writing about himself.

TL;DR Jeph is an awful writer and an human being.

fixed.

Oh yeah, something else that I forgot to mention.

SHE NEVER FUCKING BOTHERS TO LOOK INTO IT

My memory is somewhat fuzzy, but I've never seen a single mention of Faye ever trying to find out what the hell happened that made her Dad suicidal. Not once has she talked to people he knew (hell, they're not even mentioned) or confront her mother. In fact, she seems to be on good terms with her, with no hint of tension even though she's still recovering from the trauma. You'd think she would blame her mother for Dad's death, try to interrogate her, SOMETHING. Alas, nothing. It doesn't matter. Never mentioned again until now, over a decade later.

It doesn't fucking matter, a harrowing traumatic experience she experienced at an early age that defined her life is smoke in the wind, no trace of emotional scars or flashbacks or anything. Had the entire plot been cut out, you wouldn't have missed anything.

TL;DR Jeph should stab himself in the jugular next time.

He doesn't even get this right, let alone connecting all the dots to Faye's current condition. There were no red flags. Dad was like, "Welp, I guess today I'm killing myself in front of my daughter for some reason."

Imagine if these people actually exist in some other dimension and are being commandeered by Jeph's will, like magic that "borrows" from other realities. They're all rational actors yet are compelled by Jeph's will to do terrible things.

Yeah. She spends a week in Georgia, visits his grave then goes shopping.

...

The thing is that as originally written it was probably a decent story, if only because of how left field it was. A guy who seems happy but has minor habits, and leaves no note so you can never know for sure what happened. He could have had a substance problem. It could have been a family issue. It could have been medical. What's important is it's a devastatang event we don't get the answers to, because sometimes in life you don't get all the answers. It was also enough years ago that it doesn't need to be Faye's central deal, just a big one.

What made it worse is post hand stabbing when Faye became a full on drunk suddenly she realized it was totally a booze thing and nothing else because Jeph is so self centered.

Alien was a christian TV show?

...

...

I should just start following this guy's tweets. Jeph can't hang with his insanity.

...

Just queue up the fucking song already, be done with it.

I ran the text through a generic Markov chain generator and it doesn't make any less sense. In fact, it looks like something Valarie Solanas or Andrea Dworkin wrote.

I wonder if anyone made one of these specifically for English -> SJW translation. I know of the postmodern generator but it doesn't take input. It just generates random credible ivory tower academia papers.

Maybe the show ripped off alien, but that was the symbol for the thing that gave their suits power

?

Every time I read this sort of shit I read it as:

The world's a fucking uncomfortable place if you bother getting out of your bubble, even on the supposed 'easy mode' that is being a straight white guy. Fucking buncha pampered faggots.

...

Oh fug

Sure is slow tonight.

I started to wonder if you could get one good strip out of roughly a week's worth of QC. i.e. one panel from each strip, from six strips, since jeph is comfortable with a six-panel format.

here are the results of the experiment.

It reads like a "Tune in next episode" preview. I think this should be explored further.

...

I bet his July 4th comic will just be a giant middle finger, a picture of Trump's face, and a condensed dose of his twatterfaggotry in the rant.

HOL THE FUCK UP

I'm experiencing one hell of a deja vu here. Does this place look familiar to you too?

oooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

Faye emotionally manipulates a robot.

Wow. Now is it the same place or Jeph just can't draw two different bars?

Да ты охуел что ли блядь

Draw your own conclusions.

but do they serve liquor at slightly-more-yellow bar?

...

that first panel made me think it was an edit for a second

That's not what people's asses look like when they're sat down. You can see the tops of their back pockets poking out, the rest of the pockets are under their ass.

Those would be the most insanely uncomfortable trousers in the world if they worked the way Jeph has depicted them.

On other problems, Marten looks like more of an Auschwitz skellington than usual in that second panel and there's a strong case of B^U in panel 3.

...

The background art is different. I'm leaning toward Jeph inadvertently drawing the same bar twice rather than intending it to be the same bar. Eventually some fan will tweet him about it and it'll become canon.

how Jeph draws a bar:
1) draw the coffee shop
2) make things brown instead of red
3) put beer posters on the walls
and apparently also
4) put shit related to the sea ono the walls

watch jeph ruin my editverse canon tomorrow

tim hortons is shit, too

There may not have been much in the background but what was there was top quality, great implementation of loss.

These backgrounds are absolutely annihilating my sides.

Is this guy for real?

Is this going to be the mistery of QC druids?

...

But if we question his work ethic, we are bad people for trying to overwork him.

It's really too bad. He has some interesting Ideas, but his execution is so fucked up that they don't come across the way he thinks they do. He sees himself as some kind of pillar of the webcomic genre, but doesn't realize that he's made of screwed together extra bits of wood instead of marble.

He clearly has no passion any more. What he really needs is some inspiration. Something that tickles the long dormant parts of his brain that make him want to work for the sake of creating, rather than cranking out the bare minimum that will get him paid. If he had that, his art would naturally improve and the story would become more interesting. It would take a herculean effort to make it good, but it would be more forgivable if he was slowly improving instead of stagnating.

Did he ever have any?

(double checked)
I think back in the day when QC was about Indie music and Marten he had motivation.
His art steadily increased until strip 500, then the progress was slightly less and came to a halt at around 1000.

I think there was something at some point, he did seem to at least be trying. See though.

...

Real smooth keeping your corporate fraud on the lowdown, Jeph.

And Jesus Christ this reply.

Jesus Christ.

Into the mind of the SJW:

I think they're more butthurt about the concept of moral standards that they don't get to set and reset at a whim.

Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Dragon Dildos $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at economy please help me budget this, my family is dying

If your family just has sex with each other for entertainment, you don't need the data money. Use the money to buy more dildos.

If you dig a hole and live there, you can save on rent and utilities AND get more in touch with your furry side. Use the money to buy more dildos.

You can dig a hole anywhere, so you might as well dig it in the forest, where there's lots of natural game and fruits, saving your money on food. Use the money to buy more dildos.

In the end, your new, optimized monthly budget will be:

FOOD: Scavenge/hunt
DATA: N/A
RENT: Burrow
DRAGON DILDOS: $4,900
UTILITIES: N/A

But God understands why people disappoint Him, that's why He hates them so much

Any bets on whether Jeph posts a comic? It's 2:30 AM France time.

If you imagine a being who has spent thousands of years witnessing the worst evils humanity has to offer, it isn't hard to imagine why it wouldn't be terribly excited about sharing a home with every shitter on Earth. However, as basic empathy is simply unattainable for some, God is derided as being the most evilest shitlord ever for having standards.

It's 6:28 Pacific Standard Time, I think it drops sometime between now and 8:00.

Not that his MAXIMUM EFFORT 4th of July filler will matter.

By that point it'll be 5 AM. I say he wraps around to the morning, say 10-11 AM. That'd be 1-2 AM PDT.

KEBAB-FLAVORED CULTURAL ENRICHMENT IMMINENT

i thought it read like a "last time on X" segment

Handstab is really late tonight.

Think he tried to do what Clinton did, and blew of his handvagina with a firecracker?

Nah, he just flew to France. Instead of posting a comic in the morning or something or getting Willis to do it, he told himself he'd do it when he landed, not thinking at all that in addition to the 10 hour plane trip he'd be crossing 5 time zones and it'd be the middle of the night when landing and he wouldn't be up to shit after all that.

...

Okay, now it's "Moon on a clear night sky" obvious that Jeph doesn't know what being a recovering alcoholic is like. It just comes across as whining for attention.

Also, he's just begging someone to 'shop a dick in there.

I'm sure he's getting smothered with asspats on twitter, though.

As a severely degradant alcoholic I probably should add that you don't just stop drinking. You pick up something else equally addictive to replace it.
Which doesn't happen here.
Because Jeph is a fucking hack.

There's also no excuses. I heard a lot of "I'll just have one" or "it's only _%, that's pretty light" when my cousin tried to stop.

you already contradicted editfag prime's editverse though, menstro already knew that Faye faked her fathers death to get sympathy points

the lack of a sixth panel here is what TV Tropes calls a "Vomit Discretion Shot".

also sorry, /stog/. wrong tab.

The quality of this edit is better than anything von Hanßtow has produced in his entire life.

Seriously, the blurred writing was a very nice touch, and the script writing is delightful.

Write what you know, remember? :^)

See, 'cause he never recovered.

It is Hipster Jesus we're talking about.

You have to go back.

I'm actually writing a psychological thesis on how we interact with fear and how to eventually subvert fear to achieve peace.
An AI would have to be programmed similarly to a human to think like one so it would need to have some emotional base in fear. A war bot wouldn't really require that perfect ai though because it just needs to follow orders rather than make emotional mistakes like man.
Just how I see things.

Can you give me a quick rundown?

Quick ask for help. I think it is about time to make a new thread, but we have no header. Is anyone up for making it? Usual is the "well, this is me" scene with something funny edited in and a variation of the Questionable Malcontent title in Impact font.

if the thread is still alive when i get back from classes in seven or so hours i will have a go, this should not be relied upon

The imgur has not been updated since og editfag retired to cocaine island also

You have time. It's on page 10 but just. It'll probably be up for 18-24 hours.

If I may offer a suggestion, I submit that the new header should be related to how Jeph is in France and most likely about to be culturally enriched by vibrant diverse folk of the Middle Eastern persuasion.

I was looking up "hand stab" on Jewgle, and look what I found…

justanswer.com/medical/2slqe-last-sunday-accidentally-stabbed-palm-left-hand.html

Seek medical attention you idiot. This is Yahoo! Answers level shit.

Time Dilemma edition? I know it's shitty but I didn't have much to work with.
I noticed the hands were conveniently out of the frame and the long hair saved him from having to contour a back. Not that I did it all that great but whatever. If anyone has any suggestions or wants to add the text, be my guest.
It's supposed to be Sigma and Phi

Reference for the arms, if anyone wants to know how shitty I am at this.

Clever. With metal hands, you don't get blood everywhere when you succumb to the urge to jerk off a knife.

There's a timeline where he intentionally gets one of them chopped off by getting them crushed by a warehouse door

I'm still writing it. Basically what I have so far is letting go of ideas that are lead by fear, but currently that's like everything. The realization I had was if you do things because you honestly deep down enjoy it then it could lead to peace of mind.

I know it's uncouth to parrot the "It's [current year]!" meme, but why does Jeph need to manually update his site in 2016? The guy makes $8k/month just from Patreon, not including ad revenue and merchandizing. Meanwhile he could pay some guy in Bombay $50-$100 on Fiverr or freelancer.com to hack a scheduler into his website.

If the character wasn't named Ellie I wouldn't have realized it was a woman. Also:

Once again your universe makes no fucking sense, Jeph. Even in a mysterious, foreign land the actors need to act rationally else the audience can't connect with them.

$3000/month and he'll update this thing when he feels like it. Can you believe this guy? Who fucking cares how busy you are? You're being paid $3000 to write 8 fucking comic strips a month.

I can't think of a single industry where you could get away with this kind of work mentality. Then again, 99% of creative jobs involve one entity being in charge of your paycheck, and you have to keep to a schedule in order to make sure they earn enough money to pay you.

Jeph is in charge of his online store, and his "boss" for Paetron is a thousand people who don't really communicate with each other. Paetron doesn't give a fuck whether he puts out his comics or not, they only care about the money coming in. Because each individual donor sees Jeph as the dominant one in the producer/consumer relationship, most of them don't feel entitled to take him to task for his laziness when they have every right to. For every person who does try to communicate their dissappointment, there are ten who are willing to go after them for hurting Jeph's feelings because his hurt feelings might cause an even bigger delay.

Jeph only does the bare minimum because there's no penalty for being a lazy sack of shit.

who the fuck talks like that

new strip = sauce for next thread's header image?

But I did for you, user.
Actually, let me add the text.

totally unrelated but does anyone have a decent copy of Violent Delight's "Transmission"? the title track in particular, but "I Wish I Was A Girl" would also be nice to have in 320 or decent VBR.

Text added. Again, shitty imitation abound.

Only torrents I'm coming up with are dead. I grabbed part of the album off Youtube, it's not great quality though. volafile.io/get/HTNSPn4Iw67Z/Violent Delight - Transmission.7z

yeah, that was the problem I had.

This is an industry where normally working to Jeph's level earns you a few hundred dollars per month, not even enough for food and shelter. The graphic arts industry is complete shit and the success stories are freelancers or self-managing employees who basically act like freelancers who can efficiently allocate their time.

This just blows my mind. I really don't understand "Patreon culture". Everyone is so permissive of failure to deliver. With shit like the Mighty No 9 and Star Citizen debacles we have people saying like "the drama and/or community made it all worthwhile!" WTF. Reminds me of the time I wanted to buy a car and the dealer kept offering me a "sales experience".

Given Jeph's personality and Patreon's malleability, I wonder if he actually does the hangouts with the $100 Patrons. I'll bet it's complete shit if he does. He probably can't hide his boredom, entitlement, and contempt. I think this most likely happens every month:

Am I supposed to feel something? Because I feel nothing.

I think it would be amazing to go to one of those meetups. Not because I want to spend time with Jeph, but because he would have to look me in the eye when I asked him why his art has been regressing over the past few years.

I hate to say this but the first three panels are almost decent by his standards, he actually managed to create some kind of atmosphere here. Last one kinda ruins it, though.

Faye's face in the last panel is horrible. Looks like her face is squashed against a glass screen. Or painted on.

Menstro's fucking face