Hi again Holla Forums. I told part of my story the other night but I come this time in a much more somber approach

Hi again Holla Forums. I told part of my story the other night but I come this time in a much more somber approach.

I fucked up.

Over the past several years I've been developing some sort of porn addiction. I'm pretty sure many of you can emphasize with that, but my particular addiction involved finding anything that was taboo, but feasibly possible for me to do and get away with, and putting myself in that position.

What was the crack of choice? Incest and underage of course, as much as there are plenty of people with a loli fetish, it was barely even a sexual thing for me tbh, it wasn't that I found any of it sexually attractive, it was that I wasn't allowed to find it sexually attractive that got me hooked… to be continued.

Other urls found in this thread:

encyclopediadramatica.se/The_xchan_effect#.2Fb.2Ftard_Porn_desensitization
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

It all started so innocently! The odd hentai loli manga here, reading through Tasha's Brother for the umpteenth time or some of the more perverse sex stories on xnxx. Nothing that hurt anybody, nothing that gave anyone pause.

A couple of times I dabbled with tor to see if I could find something a little more exotic but I never really got far due to nerves and bottling it before actually daring to click through to a link. As much as I hated myself for essentially preferring to get off to the lastest loli fetish I'd found than actually having sex with my girlfriend. And yeah I know I said it wasn't sexual… it was still arousing. But I wasn't getting off over so much what was physically infront of me as the idea of being in that characters position and doing something so taboo and somehow still getting away with it.

This shit was utter crack, could not get enough of it.

And then a few weeks ago happened. Oh fuck Holla Forums, my life could be over because of this, and for what? For fucking what? A cheap high. I'm disgusted with myself and I'm 99% this story ends with being becoming an Hero I don't really see another way out that I could live with.

So, it's a family holiday, I haven't been on one in a few years (I'm early twenties for reference) but I think "fuck it! What's the worst that could happen right?". My mum's current partner is what could happen.

He himself, yeah nothing bad, sure he's the most left-wing nutcase I've ever encountered with levels of white guilt I've not thought possible before talking to him, but not the worst person I've had to spend company with.

But his fucking 14 yr old daughter. Pretty much instantly starts crushing on me. So here's me, with addiction to taboo and sexually "not allowed" imaginative positions getting hit on my a 14 year old "step-sister". I'm not sure it's fair to be quite honest, like when life deals you a card like that what the fuck was going to happen? It's not something I'm going to be able to resist and that fucking nigger upstairs knows it.

So… yeah. We messed around. I didn't actually sleep with her, I didn't actually do anything at all in terms of pressuring her into anything. Although she did almost convince me to go all the way I didn't go through with it at the last second due to deciding it's not worth life in jail (lmfao if I could go back now, since I'm probably going to die might as well have had that last fucking dose of the heroin this has turned into, then maybe I'd have gone out on some sort of delirium level of "it was worth it"). But nah, I didn't do it, I took the vaguely sensible approach of drawing the line there.

And then the holiday ended as soon as it began with only one close scare and I'm home, we go our seperate ways never to speak again… except we started a sexting relationship.

Ikr how fucking stupid can you actually be? A sexual texting relationship, with someone underage, and the whole thing digitally logged for any passerby to stumble across in the wrong circumstance.

I fucking deserve everything I got.

It's all pretty innocent tbh. And the vast majority tbh would probably err in such grey legal area that nothing would have happened to me… except for a couple of really stupid mistakes.

1. I talked about at us meeting up. Specifically that she would come and visit me while faking staying at a friend's house for a few days. Although I had no intention of this actually happened, for one it's miles away and I don't actually have the money. I never wanted to go through with it, I just wanted to feel like it was going to happen. It was enough to feel that high and that rush of blood, it gave me that crack I needed so badly.

2. She sent me a fair few provocative sexual pictures, one of which was actually nude, and I asked for them. So fucking stupid, and of all the things that happened so far, probably the one that's going to carry the greatest weight.

3. And finally I said i wanted to actually fuck her, and regretted not doing it. Honestly… a lie Holla Forums. A complete lie. I had no intention of going through with it I just wanted to get off on the idea that it could happen, or that it actually did happen. I needed to believe it and get myself back into that fantasy to feed my addiction that I so desperately needed. But, it looks pretty fucking bad in text.

stop unironically saying "tbh"

So that's when it all went wrong. She goes to a party, gets drunk and starts making out with various guys "to make me jealous". I ain't no bull that shit was cruel but whatever, it happened. (and yeah, 14 year olds going to parties, getting drunk and making out? What happened to the world).

I keep up a fairly lewd conversation with her that's not too graphic, just the odd message here and there about wishing I was there to do stuff with her. But somehow, at some point, her friends picked up on something. I don't know the details and haven't heard anything and likely never will know exactly what happened but stuff was talked about.

And it was talked about in earshot of her mother. Who then confiscated the phone, which was locked but still pretty sure it's not enough to keep me safe. Especially after what's followed since.

Eh, it's a habit, difficult to kick but I'll try.

lost it there

So I'm fucked. Literally beyond fucked, I'm just done. I get wasted and post on here a drunk and fairly BS version of events that feeds my addiction just a little bit more but then call it quits and sleep after deleting all the accounts that I messaged her on apart from snapchat, hopefully that being enough to keep me safe.

And then I wake up the next day. Spend like an hour just staring at my phone at first before "14yrold is typing…" pops up on snapchat. Sigh of relief, it's all going to be fine. I'm safe.

The "typing" stays for a while but then goes away, no message sent. Half an hour passes and then "typing" pops up again… okay… slightly concerned now. I check contacts and settings and I see she's not on my contacts any more. Typing stops and don't hear anything anymore, realization dawns on me of what this probably means and I delete my snapchat account, but it's probably too late.

I start drinking, 11am it may be but whatever. Rest of the day goes by in an alcoholic blur combined with me wiping messages and deleting everything I can think of and securely erasing my phone and all my hard drives and everything I can think of. It's all probably for nothing. Go out, get drunk with friends, give them a very vague and much more innocent version of the story in which "I dun du nuffin officer, she just tried to seduce me".

Wake up today… still not heard from her. I'm holding onto hope that all this means is the phone is locked away somewhere (holding onto ANYTHING at this point). My anxiety is fairly manageable and for the most part… I'm okay.

Then I see on facebook, 14yrold shared a meme! Oh fuck, she has her facebook back, I'm safe, I just need to talk to her and get her to share her apple user ID/whatsapp ID and then I can delete the accounts and all evidence is gone and I'm free!

Send her fairly safe message: "hey, did you have a good party the other day? :) ". Even if her mum's on her shoulder this will look fine.

Oh.jpg

She's blocked me from messaging her. But not blocked me as a friend. That means that she's not allowed to talk to me anymore, but while trying to give off the appearance that nothing is wrong.

So… I cannot think of a single situation, where this works out okay for me. I'm fucked.

And here I am Holla Forums. Drinking again and contemplating the best way for me to kill myself. 3 different pharmacies for paracetamol and a bottle of the best vodka I can afford is looking like the best option right now.

I'm just talking to a wall aren't I?

Here's an idea. Wait. Kids are sneaky little shits. The fact her friend contacted you means you're not being thrown under the bus (yet).

Your relationship with your gf and that family is done, but who knows where he'll go. If he's a white guilt libshit, he prob has sympathy for pedos.

If shit starts to go wrong, there's still an out. Contact 14yr old Dad, meet up, admit nothing incriminating and potentially let him kick the shit out of you.

Honestly? That doesn't sound so bad.

I think you should stop trying to contact her.

At best leave her a mesage saying you're sorry but you cannot see her anymore, tell her you've erased everything she sent you, tell her you were doing something stupid and that two people with such an age difference cannot be in a relationship and that you never relly meant for anything to go beyond lewd flirting.

Also tell her you're going to a therapist because you're not sure why you did what you did.

Bonus:actually go to a therapist so you can have an actual aliby.

1. Yeah I'm waiting it out but I'm still prepping for the worst.

2. Literally the only good thing I have going for me… girlfriend is headoverheels for me though and in love with me enough that if explained properly… might be okay. My family… it's hard to say if that's done too tbh. I think both will probably take my sign in the right circumstances based on me talking to them. The one good sign is nobody has contacted me yet, which you'd think is the first thing that would happen.

3. He is violent so he'd definitely take the chance. But how would this be an out?

Yeah I'm already considering the therapist route and I've been looking online. Contacted a few lawyers that specialize in grey-area type cases for this kind of thing with a sob story but no details admitted and user info given so far.

That is a VERY good idea and I am going to has out a message to send. And honestly there is a lot of truth in that… as much as I'd like to think this was all a sane rational decision it really wasn't. And if I was sober the whole Holiday I'm sure none of this would have happened too.

What route do I take?

Or do I go for the heart-felt route and just completely go without getting any legal advice at all and act like the most sorry son of a bitch the world has ever known and plead desperately that I need help and I hate myself and I don't understand why I did what I did.

Never Drink and Loli user, meme responsibly and cease thinking with your dick or you're no better than a mesatbag NPC normalfag.

5/7 made me smile

Both "i cooperate fully but i choose to remain silent until my lawyer gets here.

"Officers I want to help you as much as I possibly can, but I've been constantly been given advice in the past that I should never talk to the police without speaking to a lawyer first. So I know this may not be anything, but if you want to talk to me, I want take my right to legal council."

2. Won't be okay. Relationship is 99% chance of kill, mane. Enjoy your time left together with gf, and prep yourself.

3. Some guys don't like the law getting involved and just want you gone. He may be one of those.

def go with therapist tho. at least make an appt.


How good of a liar are you? Best advice I got from LEO buddy was show your true emotion, but law up and admit nothing. Can always start to say something and "uhh, i've heard stories about this stuff, i should get a lawyer."

encyclopediadramatica.se/The_xchan_effect#.2Fb.2Ftard_Porn_desensitization

Yeah, definite End Stage. Except I guess went one stage further my leaving my basement and pursuing this shit.

I've gone for scat and vore and furry shit and stuff. But never been able to go for violence or actual gore. Idk… I'd have thought I would get there by now but really haven't. Although in hentai form… yeah there literally isn't anything I haven't fapped to.

2. If you met her you'd understand, more likely she'd kill herself over finding this out about me than leave me.

3. No he's not the type. He's the "I won't rest until you're spending the rest of your life in solitary" kind of guy. Infact tbh, I wouldn't put it past him to straight up slit my throat.

I'm about as good a Liar as it gets, I've manipulated and worked my way through literally everything so far, trick is to invent the story beforehand and learn it to the point that you actually believe it yourself. On the spot it's difficult though. I've been tempted to write a book about "how to get away with life" because it's my most marketable skill tbh.

The problem is that once I go down the emotional route it's not really any way to turn around and go back. Although I guess if I start off with a serious legally back lie and if caught out I can stage a breakdown and bring out the true emotional sob story with all the therapy. Which I will of course have been seeing a therapist over.

2. Just because she wouldn't leave you doesn't mean it's not over. Iunno, maybe you rolled a gril crit. Doesn't hurt to prep yourself, you don't need a sucker punch like that.

3. Fug. Well you've got a handle on shit, man. Just talk it out. Wouldn't be a bad idea to create an alt for legal shit like scat and granny porn (prune bros, anyone?). Poison the well and all that.

Really surprised this hasn't got more attention. A story like this back in the day is exactly the opposite of the cancer you see all over Holla Forums these days.

Fucking christ, what has happened?

Granny porn is the other thing I've not ever got into, harder to lie about something you find actually repulsive. Scat I can do though, not sure how to make it really discoverable though, I've been using anonymous browsing and VPN tunnels and all that shit for years, it'd look weird to suddenly start using google chrome and not delete search history.

on every medium you're concerned about. not sure where you can find local shitters in your area, tho. craigslist? if you decide to do it, the sooner the better.
i'm half drunk atm, but it seems like you're a talk out loud thinker

I'm also wasted, who wouldn't be in my situation?

Nah it's too obvious to start with something I've never done before in a really bold looking move. Especially if I'm meant to currently be feeling ashamed and seeing a therapist… doesn't mix without going out to find someone to shit in my mouth and fuck a granny. Good idea, but no.

I am a talk out loud thinker. 90% of the reason I'm here is to deal with the fucking cancer that is anxiety and talk shit out. The other 10% is sharing a story with Holla Forumsros before an hero/jail.

Don't see an option to push for more info w/out buttfucking yourself yet. Could always take a pill and shitpost? Your gf sounds nice, what's she like?

Year and a half younger than me. Grew up in a central European perfect family with good values and traditional roles in which the mum stayed at home and dad owned a law firm. Despite that he lets her make all her own decisions and doesn't at all try to control her and basically trusts anyone she trusts (to the point he lent me a LARGE sum of money after just a year together).

Resulting in a very self-aware girl with virtually no self-confidence issues. Personality wise… she's a bit of a geek but nothing hardcore, we're talking Marvel/Board games/Lord of the rings but not a 4channer or hardcore gamer.

Relationship is built upon a core of cinema visits to see pretty much every movie (we're both film buffs, although she won't see horror and I avoid period dramas).

Flaws… not really my type. But I get over it by the fact that she is classically really hot to the point all my peers think she's stunning which is actually surprisingly important. When everyone else thinks your girlfriend is a 10/10, even if you only think she's a 7 it still makes you feel a fucking god.

Other than that… she's very idealistic and wants to live in a perfect fairytale world. She doesn't really want to talk about or hear about politics and that kind of stuff which can be a strain because it leaves a lot of conversation superficial. But we're okay due to still having a lot to talk about in regards to moves/food (both have expensive taste and the money to actually endorse that taste) and when drunk she will occasionally humor me on politics and when she does she's very reasonable. She lies slightly left of center on most things.

Love her to bits and losing her would be the worst part of all of this.

Sounds divine, but user
Jesus christ, that's pretty important.

Also copy paste your story, board nuke potentially incoming

Yeah he earns approx 500k a year in $, owns like 9 houses. He recently orchestrated a deal between the EU and China on solar Energy. We're talk a huge wallet and a hell of a lot of legal knowledge.

BUT

Not a chance in a million fucking years he'd support me in this considering I essentially cheated on his daughter.

No, exactly opposite of that you dingus. Prob explains why you haven't heard anything.

He won't have heard anything about this yet. He lives abroad and no way in a million years they'd have contacted him about this, no way they'd even know how to contact him, he's not on facebook for start.

Am I being complicatedly rused?

You've got the wrong dad m80.

My girlfriend, is a perfectly legal girl who has dad who owns a law firm.

The 14 year old I've been messing about with's dad is a waste of space left wing shitlord white guilt bull.

bump

Yanno the funniest thing is all I needed to do was the night I got to talk to her last all I should have done was ask for her apple id and password and I could have factory reset her phone and no evidence. God damn.

It's best to assume both are involved

What are my chances if I go on the run and flee the country before my arrest warrant comes down?

No, wouldn't happen. No way they'd have spoken to him and my girlfriend be completely clueless. 110% sure.

same
im not LIKE these people
im a different species

bump

why? seems like the exact opposite of logic to me

Only had one packet of paracetamol.

So I went through about 9 cans of lager and a fairly large quantity of vodka and finally around 4am chased it with the remaining paracetamol I had left. Apparently didn't do the trick since I'm still here, I guess I'm going to go into A&E, on the bright side I guess its a sure-fire way to get myself to a therapist fast.

Thanks facebook.

think you should relax
wipe your phone/computer, doesnt help much but it is something

deny everything as she said
don't try to make contact again

send messages via her friends with a burner phone, untraceable to you, and arrange to meet up with the 14 landmine. put on a fake persona with a fake name and such, that of a 14 also.

meet, have sexual intercourse, make her pregnant, go somewhere together where you can legally marry

marry, buy a house, have kids, wait fourteen years

when your daughter is 14, divorce your wife, start seeing a single mother with 20 son, make sure you introduce your daughter to the son

step back and see what happens

pretend to be surprised when the young male finds the young attractive female, attractive.

complete the circle, it is the only way to avoid a paradox

I have no intention of actually sleeping with her and never really did.

stop talking to people about it and lawyer up your just digging your own whole if you talk about it to anyone, fuck even the teen is smarter than you "deny everything"

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I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Give me your contact information and I'll be a character witness at your trial. We'll get through this together.

Just burn her soiled panties… they could be used as evidence against you, even tho they are soiled with her daddy's um.

The word OP was looking for is "empathize."
Emphasize means to accentuate or highlight something.

deny
everything

...

nice kek, Hence forth God shall bee called "The Nigger Upstairs"

just dont open the door, youre not legally obligated to unless they have a warrant