The other people who started one of these ended up leaving us hanging, so I thought I might also take a shot.
>replies from a namefag, tripfag or capcode will be ignored
You wake up, dazed and with no memory of your previous identity. You find yourself lost in the middle of a forest somewhere, cold and hungry. What is your name?
Slide Johnsen
Rolled 9 (1d9)Tim burton
Conveniently, you appear to have been wearing a name tag when you p***ed out.
What is your special ability?
bones as brittle as gl***
***
thanks mods
a. ss
can tell when people are horny
All swear words are now filtered.
Rolled 2 (1d9)You can speak to the trees, but they all want to have dirty butt secks with you.
Rolled 1 (1d9)Your ***** is remarkably visually pleasing, and people are calmed by it.
Weiner.
Suddenly you realize that, apart from your name tag, you are completely bare naked. You look down to discover the wonders of your anatomy-defying genitalia.
do you ***gots just come to this site to make shit up?
for fucks sake… go away.
faggots*
nice zero width unicode characters, you're so ebin and clever. although it is kind of sad that you couldn't even manage not messing up the first time.
true.
You glance over to your left to find a blue purse, big enough to hold maybe 4 decently sized items. After wondering what zany, wacky situation you'd have to had been in to wake up in the forest with a name tag and purse but no clothes, you go over to the purse to open it. What items are within?
The Golden Whalter PP Hitler shot himself with.
The decapitated head of a witch.
a tiny civilization in a bottle dedicated to the worship of your *****.
You open the purse and out comes a small civilization of tiny people. Instantly, they scurry over to your… fascinatingly shaped girth, and begin worshipping it.
*3
A canister of Zyklon-B
A back up pênis.
Rolled 4 (1d9)An enchanted sword.
we're off to a great start already
Rolled 1 (1d9)A fully functional, female, and setient sex robot
Rolled 8 (1d9)Diabetes
You get another item out of the purse, and find a mighty steel sword. You wonder how it even fit inside the purse without cutting through. Perhaps it's enchantment is to never cut through a purse it is being carried in? It removes the need for a scabbard, at least.
Rolled 1 (1d9)A huge metal sword that's too big to be called a sword
Rolled 8 (1d9)
A slingshot with stink bombs for ammo
40 pounds of stale old biscuits
An immigrant
a mini universe
The decapitated head of the great hero Fugg the Lugg.
The next item you pull out of the purse is a sling shot, with small purple orbs for ammo. You use both trying to test them out, and in doing so you not only lose all your ammo but also smell horrible.
...
Rolled 5 (1d9)A beautiful woman slave
Rolled 1 (1d9)ducktape
Rolled 5 (1d9)
A magic potion, but you don't know what it does.
The world's loveliest coconut cream pie
Rolled 2 (1d9)a dragon
A bottle full of ruphies.
The final item you pull out of the purse is a golden little dog. You can't identify what breed it is, although it must be one very resistant to swords, and it appears to be a female, judging by the bow. No collar indicates it belonged to you, or anyone, previously, so you decide to name it.
Rolled 7 (1d9)
Ms. Take
Ivanka
Rolled 5 (1d9)
Cuddlybitch
Melania
Rolled 2 (1d9)Marla Maples
Jim
With your newly named dog, jim, at your side, you begin to explore the forest around you. It seems to be past noon, and both you and your dog are lacking in nourishment, so survival is your primary concern. What do you do?
Eat tree!
Rolled 4 (1d9)
I want to smack you right upside the head
You attempt to eat the tree to gain it's nourishment. This strategy is unsuccessful.
Rolled 1 (1d9)
Look for non-poisonous berries.
Go find Fugg the Lugg.
He is a huge bitch…
dig in the ground for some worms
Rolled 1 (1d9)hunt for something
Rolled 5 (1d9)eat your cock worshipers
Rolled 8 (1d9)Hunt for truffles.
Continuing this tomorrow with >>6088873's request, when hopefully there'll be more traffic. I'm not going to create a new thread since I expect this one to still be on the catalog.
bumpin' for tomorrow
You find a small, circular, brown object, of which you assume is a truffle. Turns out it's just some animal excrement.
...
Rolled 6 (1d9)
that's even better! eat it
Rolled 6 (1d9)Start from the beginning :^)
Winrar! Eat it then start from the beginning.
Dem Boiz Roll In And Stealda Turd !!
Re Roll
Re Roll 2
Re Roll 3
Re Roll 4
Re Roll 5
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP
...
The cancer crew is back on Holla Forums for another round.
What if I'm a namefag but I turn off my namefag?
Goy gets diahreah
OP is a faggot and will never deliver
8 confirms
9 after 8 confirms even more
For some reason, whatever it may be, you decide to continue eating the shit, even upon the discovery that it is shit. You can only handle a few bites, and feed the rest to Jim.
There's no one named goy, user
Goy is Tim Burton
Rolled 3 (1d9)Timmy dies, game over. New thread. Nothing to see here people, move it along.
Rolled 4 (1d9)Tim explodes, killing him
Rolled 5 (1d9)Trump wins. Tim gets in the way of a terrorist attack and dies.
Rolled 4 (1d9)The turd belongs to a mexican bandit, and Tim broke the turd, so the mexican bandit shoots Tim.
Rolled 5 (1d9)tim commits suicide
The shit eating was just too traumatizing for you. Using your enchanted word to commit suicide, you wish for it to be all over. However, it doesn't work. It appears the sword's enchantment is to never damage anything, ever. You plan to get this removed at the first opportunity.
That's not how it works.
Do something.
op is the same guy who drawst hsi?s
yeah
love your style
This was a command to the game. Love your own style now.
Rolled 7 (1d9)wander around in the woods
OP is Dysnomia. Just letting Holla Forums know.
Hey Dysnomia, how did you become a decent artist?
After your attempt at suicide, you gain a newfound confidence and will to live. You realize how well you've been handling survival in the woods.
Nope.
Rolled 1 (1d9)Tim Burton meets CIA and buys a plane.
Hey whoever you are, how did you become a decent artist?
You don't get to bring friends. Tim Burton comes alone or not at all.
Rolled 3 (1d9)Tim says Spiderman Thread and this thread derails to shitposting, memes, cancer, and autism.
Rolled 7 (1d9)Satan meets Tim and makes a deal with him.
Perfect winrar
HOLY FUCK.
Bullshit.
Suddenly, a fire erupts from the ground. Jim, frightened, runs away into the forest. The wind howls and the sky above is filled with clouds.
Out comes Satan himself- but not the satan that you know, but rather the satan of the tiny civilization in bottle you found in the purse. He offers you a deal- your penis, in return for dark eldritch powers. Do you accept?
Yes
Rolled 9 (1d9)Yup
au contraire, mon user
Yup
Stop trying to add a twist to every happening, OP. A solid, real 666 get asking for Satan deserves a solid, real 666 get Satan. Though we do get dark powers so it's fine.
ta bite pour les pouvoirs d'Eldrich, c'est vendu
Kick his ass and steal his powers
Rolled 1 (1d9)Wasted GET
Rolled 1 (1d9)Reroll
Rolled 2 (1d9)Filler Not GET
rob bank and meet Pedro
there is bank in the desert
*forest
You accept the offer. The miniature satan, granting you powers of the unholy, runs off with your dick. Meanwhile, a revolution is taking place in your tiny civilization. Priests are being overthrown and replaced with satan-worshipping punk rock bands. They collectively abandon you and run off with Satan into tiny people hell.
Just trying to keep things interesting user. Plus I want to include plot points like the miniature people and Tim's soothing dick in happenings so the story feels cohesive and not just like a bunch of random shit happening.
Rolled 1 (1d9)The planet blows up and everyone dies. The End.
No rerolls.
I posted this. Someone else copied it. The dubs are legit.
Nah, "lol the end forever xD" is a meme reply anyway.
God saves Tim
Rolled 7 (1d9)
Open a rift to tiny people hell with my new powers, step on satan, and get my dick back
Suicide faggots can eat dick. nice one, OP
Practice
...
Using your newfound powers, you create a portal to Tiny People Hell in hopes of retrieving your dick. In one step, you instantly kill Satan, and get your dick back. Unfortunately, it seems to have been transformed into some kind of lovecraftian abomination.
A new pet neat, find your coward dog and fuck it to death with your new penis
Rolled 6 (1d9)
Use newfound powers to a make a lovecraftian-inspired dick
You go deeper into the forest in the direction Jim went. Eventually, you find her, but it appears she's… grown. Yo suddenly grow hesitant to provoke her.
thanks for being the most cool contributor to Holla Forums
kick her
dicksucking already?
OP makes great art fam
Rolled 4 (1d9)Size up the situation
Shoot a stink bomb into her
You don't have any left
Rolled 1 (1d9)Kick sand in it's eyes
Rolled 3 (1d9)Use the lovecraftian dick as a lasso to put her on a leash
Rolled 1 (1d9)
off quints by one, fuck
Rolled 8 (1d9)
wait what? what happened to our ammo?
Rolled 2 (1d9)
Put out your hand, palm side up, and wait for her to approach you.
We used both stink bombs testing it out in
Rolled 1 (1d9)
aw man. we need more ammo
Rolled 2 (1d9)
pick up some nearby rocks for slingshot ammo
do a flip
Rolled 6 (1d9)
This is extremely stupid, but I laughed anyway
Rolled 5 (1d9)power up and show it the true wrath of a super saiyan
Dick Cavett
Rolled 3 (1d9)Lance Penisberg
Rolled 2 (1d9)Candice
Rolled 5 (1d9)Sweet Lolita
im gay
To, uh, assert your dominance, you decide to do a flip. Jim is now more confused than angry, but you seem to have won your penis over
I deleted the original post (>>6091242) because the gif skipped a few frames of the animation. Here's an mp4
You decide to call the creature, which you had been mentally referring to as The Monster Known Formerly As Your Wang until now, Candice.
That's it for the first thread folks. I'll make a new one in about an hour, maybe, with tweaked rules and an archive, image collection, and recap of this one.
You went full retro there, I see.
NEW THREAD
NEW THREAD