I'm freaking the fuck out

WHERE DO MY LIPS GO AND FOR HOW LONG AND HOW DO I NOT FUCK UP

Absolutely disgusting. Atleast when you put your dick into a slimy hole it's not smelling or tasting the shitty piss stained hole you've stuck it into. We need to kill all normalfags.

Kissing isn't a big deal fam.
tbh the only girl I ever kissed was a baby, who grew into a toddler
Exactly as planned :^3

...

It really doesn't matter fam, kissing isn't even really intimate.

Before you kiss her stick your finger in your ass and rub it all over your lips. While you're kissing her spit in her mouth and call her a cumbucket.

At that point you might as well rape her tbh fam. What the actual fuck.

...

put your lips on her butthole

are you actually this retarded or just bait?

at this point it's really hard to tell, since there seem to be a few genuine retards here

user, I'm being serious.

I never kissed a girl and here this girl is saying ((OH I BET YOU WILL BE THE BEST))

don't worry, if this was hard there would not be like 95% of the population doing it.
Just touch her lips with yours you moron.

but how fast do I go? do I make a smack sound? is that a turn off?

FUCK

what the fuck exactly is a (bad) kiss anyway?

waaa so there are people like you

Stay until you find it weird (it can be only a few secs), don't make a smack sound since you're not kissing hello.

Lip balm, user. Lip balm.

the awkward kiss, too long, too slippy, too hard.

alright, so soft huh?

what the fuck is the point of a kiss when it's just lips hardly touching each other? that pretty much just sounds like you're just gliding your lips over one another's. what the fuck does that

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN SEXY?

Don't worry OP I know how you feel, my girlfriend that I wanted to date for a loooong time dumped me because of the way I hugged her, but that was because I did it like I was stand tackling her

are you fucking kidding me?

You're a white male!

I fucking wish, I fucking wish

that's actually of roman legacy, user. This is the symbol of love, nothing more.

Keep it soft. If she wants to fuck, she'll go harder, with the tongue and shit. And that's called a passionate kiss.

you know anons…

some nights ago, me and this girl that I'm so afraid to kiss…we went to the movies for the first time.

So many years I've looked down at couples in a theater and my cold heart was frozen from the fact that I never got to be with a chick in such a way.

That night, I put my arm over her and she slouched next to me. Her arm was on my thighs and her head was leaning against my shoulder.

I looked up, and I thought immediately of Holla Forums

I thought to myself "so this is it? this is the warmth of feeling happy. I could feel her mass on me, the warmth of her body, the smell of her hair, the vibrations of when she laughed.

However

it quickly ended because she got up and said "sorry, I can't really" and she then got back in her chair.

She changed how she sat a lot. She put her feet up on her seat, moved a lot.

Even at work she does that on her office chair. Does she have neck problems or something? She moves a lot in her seat and even told me before I grabbed her "sorry I move a lot". she tries to sit up straight.

She could have major ADHD, that happens to me alot, I just feel like I NEED to move or i'll be like one of the colossi from shadow of the colossus

I love you anons.

Listen lads, I consider myself a fucking very socially awkward person. I fucking had onaholes, I spent thousands on anime figurines, and I was very lonely growing up.

I faked it until I maked it and I want you anons to have what I had in that theater that night.

I seriously don't want you anons to die without knowing what it is to at least have a girl be on you. Do whatever it fucking takes to get yourself a girl. People say I'm sarcastic, funny, and a lot of people call my humor dark and call me personally very (outlandish) but somehow, some fucking way, this 23 year old virgin impressed some random blonde chick that I met one day.

Anons. Do it. I want you to fucking feel warmth on your frozen hearts like I did.

Those minutes that I was with her felt like nanoseconds. I wish it could last forever ;_;

I would text her much more, but the internet tells me not to text a girl too much.

Kissing comes super naturally. Just follow along with what she does. You'll be surprised how easy it is

Yeah it's like she couldn't keep still. It was weird.

yeah, SHE is is weird and not you panicking over the simplest thing ever

I rubbed my arm on a girls arm, she was way warmer than me, im pretty sure I started blushing, and she kept talking to her friend, we were at my schools basketball game

ADHD isnt that bad though as long as the other person doesnt care, and if its too much for both of you, you guys could use adderall, you too because GOTTA GET WORK DONE

BODY

HEAT

why was i so dead inside

I personally haven't used adderall because my brother always thought I would get addicted to that level of focus

I think all anons are dead inside.

The natural girl can send any user's frozen fucking soul into a slow-thawing piece of soft smug-like user.

What if she has like some sort of pain or physical uncomfort-like fuckery if she sits in a certain way too long. Is that a thing?

how would that be a bad thing?
wanting to be focused all the time?

arthritis? I don't know man, I just have ADD, ADHD (generic edgy shit) I gotta pop my joints and shit alot. but yeah if its hurting her she might have arthritis I dont know im not a doctor

No he was scared that I would not have the pills because of funds or some random shit, and me being addicted and always wanting more

she's 18. how can one have back pain lel

m' doctor user

idk theres always a chance man, but like I said im not a doctor

Everyone, this user right here is now a doctor.

Ask him all the medical questions you have.

user how do I have sex?

Be uncut and stick it up her butt

Thank you doctor

also nice trips, go to the casino

Doctor what are these lumps on my cock?

Children

this is actually an amazing feeling

but you have to wash your dick afterwards

Fucking

top

kek

how do I get a girl to let me fuck her in the butt

...

You don't

be good at kissing

I wish I wasn't a virgin

user-kun said he loved meee

oh btw, I have a gf and had several fuckplans, don't worry about me

Has the op gotten his question answered yet in his eyes?

What the hell is a fuckplan

Side sluts to fall back on and fuck

I answered him

user pls

you're in a thread where someone doesn't know how to kiss a girl and yet you're surprised that someone doesn't know what a fuckplan is?

...

I'm always amazed how naive you guys are

No really what the fuck is a fuckplan. It sounds like a bane refrence

nothing to do with bane. answered

A fuckplan is a girl I see only to fuck, this is all.

Oh fuck yeah, I was just guessing

You dont even have dinner or talk? How do I find a fuckplan?

go out
get drunk
meet sluts
fuck sluts
sometimes call sluts to drink and fuck some more

Most likely they are someone that have been trying to fuck the entire time you were in a relationship, usually the gfs best friend

Never fuckin mind

I did have lunch with some of them, most of the time I only take them have a drink in a bar/pub/somewhere "à la mode" once. Then I see them again if they want to fuck.
You have to talk a bit to them obviously, they are people nonetheless. Girls want to feel like you find them beautiful and that you want them to feel aroused, so play along. It's worth it.

I found my fuckplans on dating sites mostly.

OP is long gone, doc

Im here still fam

How exactly do you ask a girl to be a fuckplan?

I came here to learn how to kiss and became a doctor because of him, I'll never forget

Oh shit nevermind

you don't

it just happens

This

Fucking

God

Damn

Thread

I AM IN A BARNS N NOBLE AND I AM LAUGHING TO MYSELF LIKE A DUMB ASS

Oh for fucks sake

I want a fuckstrategy

You don't, that's the magic. If they don't tell you straight away that they want a serious relationship, then you have a chance to fuck. If the discussion you have with her seems going well, then you start to ask her if you could meet. When you meet, if she doesn't tell you she's in here for a serious game, then just ask her about sex, subtely. Then, if it's night time, take her to your place or back to her place, ask to come up with her.
If it's daytime, ask when you could see her again at her place/invite her to your place.

there is none, at least not for me

sometimes i get into a conversation with a girl and it works, and sometimes i drink alone all night.

just gotta go with the flow

How the fuck do you not know how to kiss? I've never kissed and even I know how to do it you fucking autismo

you seem out of place

But do you really know how to kiss?
That's the real question

Of course I know how to kiss.

You stick your dick in her mouth, right?

Your implying that's through dating sites right? Because that doesn't sound like IRL. What girl tells you if they are looking for something irl up front? I am with a chick right now and she never said anything about looking for something serious

No, why would you think that?
You blindfold her and make contact with you're puckered anus to her puckered lips, how do you not know this?

I'm talking about dating sites yes.

IRL or not, fuckplans are quite the quick thing, the way you describe it there are feelings behind your relationship, which means you don't want something quick, but something serious, which also goes for the girl.

Ok

Fuck you doc I do what I want

But always use a condom, and always pull out, or we wont see you around here anymore

obvious advice here.

Motherfucker I will prescribe you laxatives instead of the cialis you need

prescribe both.

I still wish I wasn't a virgin

SIKE I AM A LAXATIVE

Ive been jewed

Gimme yo fuckin shekels

...

Just kidding it was full of cialis

I will fucking hire a hitman you double crossing motherfucker

What are you gonna do?
Pay him in cialis?

Yes

cows

What has this thread come too

...

Doc, can you prescribe me FEELS pls?

What the actual fuck is this thread even?

THEY'RE MY FEELS FUCK OFF

shhh, just watch it happen

I feel like I should become a mod, because ya know I am "Official"

apply dude

WHY

THE EVER

LOVING

FUCK

IS IT SO GOD DAMN HARD

TO GET FUCKING LAID?

THIS IS WHY ELLIOT RODGER FUCKING SHOT UP SOME NIGGERS. FUCKING HELL MY PENIS REQUIRES THE LOVE OF A FEMININE BODY, NOT MY HAND. IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT, WE VIRGINS HAVE ACTUALLY HAD MORE GAY TENDENCIES THAN ANY OTHER PERSON ALIVE. WANT TO KNOW WHY? BECAUSE A STRONG MAN'S HAND IS JERKING OFF YOUR PENIS. YOUR STRONG MAN HAND, YOUR HAND, IS STROKING YOU OFF

HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING GAY PATHETIC VIRGIN LONELY FUCK FACED FAGGOT NIGGER CAN WE BE?

I JUST WANT TO GO TO FUCKING TOWN OF THAT GIRL IN THAT GOD DAMN GIF. I WANT TO SUCK THE FAT OUT OF THOSE TITTIES AND SUCK ALL THE GOD DAMN JUICES OUT OF HER FUCKING WET VAGINA, I WOULD DRINK HER PISS, FUCK HER ASSHOLE A NEW DIMENSION, AND HUG THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF HER UNTIL I CREATED A NEW MATERIAL FROM THE SPEED OF MY DICK SLAMMING INTO HER WHORE SLUT PUSSY

because all the rage you spend here isn't spent in a club/pub/dating website. That's all.

It isn't, you're just a douche

Dating websites don't work.

I have a gf thanks to them, an a dozen of fuckplans thanks to them. Come at me

*and

How does one apply
Because i'll give it a shot

what are you refering to?

Pff, I don't believe it.

What sites even

do you have the body of a greek god?

Becoming a mod

I have sites that are only known nationwide, depends where you at. Also Tinder.

Not at all!

I was joking, user

I.Don't.Care
How do I do it

SHOW US YOUR TORSO

...

I would if I had something to take a picture of it

well sign in…?

user, I live with my parents too. And I'm

I'll be back

where do you take em to fuck?

How do I take good pictures of myself for dating sites so people don't look at me and go "that photo sucks".

Her place, hotels and my car. All that sexiness. Most of the time it's their place, because girls on dating sites are mostly lonely girls.

you don't take the picture yourself, that's the point. You need someone that actually likes Instagram to take the picture of you and agree to do what he tells you.

Girls would fuck in a car? my mustang won't allow that shit haha. not enough room.

Is it ironic I have a v8 mustang 2016 and am a virgin? I dunno where to take it to show girls I got one lel

So you're American I guess

My car is so shitty and small that I'm sure you can do well in your pony. Pic related.

do what he does, if he's a beginner he wouldn't know, if he's a professional, you'll be branded off as apprentice. savor the moment, let his tongue teach you the ways.

pfft, I thought something was off.

Euros get girls so much more easier than ameros.

I mean look at this. Where the fuck is a girl even going to get bent over in this thing. There's no room for shit lol

bullshit. I've been in the US. In France, where I live, you've got to pay drinks to the girls. You've got to do everything. If you don't keep it subtle, you're a pervert. Even if she wants to fuck badly, she'll tell you to fuck off if you're a bit too direct.

In the US, I had girls come to me just because I was there. Uglies for the most part, but they fucking paid me a drink! You have it easy, girls in the US are much more readable than eurogirls (except the UK sluts).

flip the front seats and get in the back. If you're tall (1m80+), then you'll have it hard, I concede.

france is getting more and more cuck by the hour. soon you'll be just like the uk. hey, what a minute, even prostitution is still legal in the uk, but not in france, who practically invented prostitution

if you need to behave in beta ways to even have the possibility of sex with a french female, you should either live in a country where women are more sexually liberated, or fap to porn, or just cut your dick off and forget about females. the only reason women behave so terribly in more "progressive" societies is because males hand over their balls and their power to unworthy females. i guarantee you that the girl you are buying drinks for is bouncing on 9 different cocks each week, but playing herself off like a precious jewel to be earned by your deferential and submissive gestures and behavior. you are a disgrace to your gender.

bro, seriously, educate yourself.

lel

I'm the one with fuckplans here and you're telling me that I ain't got power? Please.

...

it is for me

I want to fuck this girl

that's the problem. the balance of power favors the girl. she is willing to walk away from you, because you're "just another guy" but you are so desperate to succeed that you soliciting for support on an anonymous image board…yet boasting like you're a player

...

Is it wrong I want to eat that woman's tits for dinner?

I'm not that guy you monkey
This is how we do here. You can't expect to get laid if you don't do the first steps. Call us what you want, but that's been a millienial tradition. Do you expect me to kiss you on the cheeks to say hi? No? But that's how we do here. Culture, faggot.

no, I want them too

see

I'm not the "player"

I just came to this thread and saw your post

jesus, i know i'm just wasting my breath trying to skool a bunch of hopeless, autistic betas, but i'll leave you with one last clue because i pity you:

they need us more than we need them, but they hide that fact as best they can because sex is the only card most females have to play

never be afraid to walk away from a potential sexual encounter. you'll gain a reputation for actually possessing balls and manhood and in the long run you'll have more pussy than you'll know what to do with. it's really not that hard. women are just whores after all is said and done.

good day, sirs

So yeah, you're talking about something you know nothing about. Case closed gentlemen

...

it's easy to do once you've actually had some

It

Would be humanly impossible for me

to walk from sex

As much as I agree with , I have to agree with .

On her lips. Just because you haven't done it doesn't mean you haven't seen it done a fucking million times.

THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE. YOU SHOULDN'T NEED INSTRUCTIONS

...

well you are, you're talking about something you don't even know. How could you be right?

that's what you need to believe because then you have an excuse for being a lazy and cowardly beta. to believe otherwise, puts the responsibility on your shoulders…something a beta can't handle

sure mate

if that's the best you've got, we're finished here

desperate!
run, fool

yeah but if you don't know what to do…

GIRLS WILL SAY YOUR A BAD KISSER

Who cares? You can literally just tell her that that was your first kiss after you kiss her. You worry about too much shit.

yes, think that so you'll stay virgin forever.

The fact is girls do not care so much how good kisser you are. If you are great kisser or sex with you is great, they will tell their friends. If it is not true, worst case scenario is that you were "ok"

you're actually retarded, user

here, have some tips from another kissless virgin that can at least watch kissing scenes in movies

and even if you do fuck it up enough, just try again. it's not like she will stop liking you just because your first time was as good as a first time.

idiot.

nibble her lip and pretend you know what your doing worked out for me

this is a good advice

My god, that sounds plausible

Why didn't I think of that?

THIS MAN IS A FUCKING GENIUS

you nigs want a green text story?

I know what you're talking about, but you seem motivated, go ahead

Do et mang

No but seriously sir thankyousogodamnmuch

Gonna go make noodles and come back to read this

yes

Anons, I understand now

The user that suggested to us all that we should "nibble".

YOU SEE:

WHEN THE FEMALE IS KISSING YOU, YOU HAVE TO THROW HER OFF. SHE IS GRADING YOU, AND BY DOING WHAT THEY DO IN THE MOVIES, SUCH AS A SOFT NIBBLE, YOU MAKE THEM THINK (WOW, THIS IS THE BEST SHIT EVER) AND THEIR HEARTS PROBABLY EVEN GO HIGHER AND THEIR MINDS ARE NOW MORE SELF CONSCIOUS, NOT GRADING YOU, BUT THEY ARE NOW GRADING THEMSELVES!

AHAHAHAHAHA, THIS IS GENIUS. THE ONLY PART YOU COULD FUCK UP IS BITING HER LIP OFF OR MAKING HER GO "OUCH"

...

ok not gunna pre write it
I have citizenship so no worries mates
(if they look in your eyes in general it means they want to shake your hand)
(always mention youve had a number of exes if its true or not, and just say something along the lines of none of them really made you happy trust me women will see it as a sekrit club)

cont

imma go eat something as my urge to eat is strong rn

ITT normalfag central

Fuck her with a tortilla

*fuck the tortilla
but this is past tense so hell

ill do it next year if she doesnt hate me for what im doing rn

i hope it doesn't burst your bubble or anything, but i actually fucked your girl. she was selling her ass on coahuila street in tijuana. 250 pesos for 20 minutes. came on her small tits

4/10 wouldn't bother with again

Thank you, doctor.

KEEP WITH THE STORY!

Oh shit shes on Holla Forums?
Oh shit shes still fucking you?
Oh shit she doesnt hate you?

You're welcome

While we're waiting on the green text…
OP do you have a pic of the girl texting you, or are you gone now

I don't want to post her pic ;_;

Here is a pic anyway

How am I suppose to impress this beauty? ;_;

No where near tj sorry mate, enjoy your nigger aids

nah ill mention it in story

this is where every thing turns blury
Fast foward half a day where i spent the night in my moms home town

Fun girl really she got jelous real ez and lied to me, so typical wimmins shit.Clingy as fuck though, she went as far as using hipster tier which magic to make sure i dont fall inlove with another girl in burger land, part of the reason why i decided to split with her.
That was my first legit kiss that was not interrupted by just dumb old luck or a fedora trying to cockblock with a fucking twelve year old, i swear Holla Forums she told me she was 14 a year under me, and by god did i go down a rabbit hole

You can do it man

You have your work cut out for you, but SHE wanted the kiss, so it should be fine, she'll make up things to make it work in her own mind

Do you frequent Reddit or 9gag by any chance?

Kiss her.

girls are crazy like that huh?

Does it help that I have another chick who is obsessed with me on facebook and I keep telling her to screw off? What will that make this girl think? Knowing that I literally have a stalker chick that's actually kinda cute.

Read the art of seduction, I learned every thing from there and guess what it works.

Heres some tips
Be seen with a diff girl every time you >run into her
Women will begin to see you as a person of value
Op you need not do this the girl already likes you, you got an easy ticket like i did, just know if you want to be a play boy it will be hard to split with her.

this tbh
just dont be awkard and if she closes her eyes do it too. Dont start with nibbling untill later on in the kiss, just play with her mouth like an autist and shell think its sensual and shit when in reality you and i both know that you have no idea what you are doing.

no

Are you sure?

Well shit, eventful way of learning how to nibble, and did you say she tried to use witch magic?

I'm really happy that Lip Nibbler is here to back me up

yeah but that seems a little hard on her. I doubt that it should be used on THE FIRST KISS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

yes, been shit posting with you chuckle fucks pre-mootcuking

she gave me a red ribbon and a bracelet with yellow hearts as a good bye present
My mom told me it was a hex
so i asked some of my /x/ friends and emo friends and they said yes it was,
funny thing i felt outta my element the next day at a dance.
now im trying to split with her via proxy of a mutual friend because shes too poor for a phone.

Oh yeah totally, thats like deep relationship havent fucked for weeks shit

A fucking hex, shit man I see why you split

gentle nibbles mate, your not trying to hurt her, though a few days later i didn't nibble her and she stopped, gave me puppy eyes and asked for me to nibble.
Just be creative, give them something they never experienced, thus giving them a void they want to fill after.

No problem Doc

except most people here havent had sex, including me, so it's gonna be pretty hard.
most ive had is a blowjob.

SOMEONE PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS

WHAT DOES YOUR CURRENT GIRL THINK OF YOU WHEN ANOTHER GIRL IS WANTING YOU?

Most I had was a piss poor hand job and some hentai tier grinding, where they slide on you length wise, both of which i had to finish my self to not get blue balled

no, actually be seen with other bros every time you see her. guys who are always seen hanging out with lots of girls are seen either as gay or players. only sluts are attracted to players, and only until they get fucked by them because they're trying to fill a hole (literally) i.e. daddy in their lives

Anons

OP here

let me stress to you what you already know

THIS CHICK LITERALLY SAID "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU SATURDAY! IS IT FUNNY THAT WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I THINK YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE THE BEST KISSER EVER?

I literally wrote back, AND PRETENDED TO HAVE A SPINE:

"you're just going to have to wait and find out ;)"

AND SHE POSTED:

"DAMN, CAN'T WAIT!

FUCK

ME

FUCKING HELL I NEVER KISSED AND HERE COMES THIS ADORABLE BLONDE HAIRED GIRL WANTED TO KISS ME AND THINKS I WILL BE HER BEST

NO

FUCKING

PRESSURE

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME

I dont have a girl friend anymore

Most ive had is her mouth over my dick for a micro second before she said I cant do this and left

sounds like being an user is a curse

why don't we just all meet up to some brothel, lads?

You hyped it up, fuck mate, I have never kissed a girl but shit man, I hope that lip nibbling is good enough

well what else was I going to fucking say?

see, this is the shit I don't get. How the fuck can you grade a kiss. I mean, as long as your lips are soft and not puckered, and your teeth aren't bashing, what is there to fucking grade?

Maybe but I wont go anywhere with brothels until I finish all my school

Dont worry I did that with a girl I had a huge thing for I know that you felt forced to say that dont worry (hope you handle this better than I handled it)

Well yeah nah most girls want to tame the guy or join the secrit club (you gotta have style)
And if you over do it you will look like chad thunder cock. Gotta find some thing in the middle, making a girl some what jealous is good, or just being with a girl and talking to her is good enough to get her attention. Wommen like men who are in a relation ship cuz they imply its because you are a good guy, i know it makes no sense, like women.

I actually want to settle man but at this point im jaded finding what little comfort i can by dating wimmins and shitposting.

Shes thinks she caught her self a good catch, just expect un warranted jelousy, which is normal

YOUR DOING GREAT
don't fuck up

same, but with her pussy fam, she stayed and we cuddled or someshit

Im down, but im underage :^/

Just act confident thats all it is, let her imagination do the work for you, play with her hair if you want to, like move it from her cheeks like in the movies and shit.

I can see myself now…

what do you mean they want to "tame the guy"? explain pls

I think you should listen to Nip Libbler more than me, I cant drink alcohol and ive only had a handful of relationships

I think he means, fixing a fuck up, like why chicks like douchbags and drug addicts

that's logic fail right there

the reason players go through lots of girls is because both the player and the girl view it as a relatively risk-free encounter. the player allows her to be a slut because she believes herself herself to be morally superior to the player, but just fucks him to get her kinkiest urges "out of her system"

after she's done fulfilling all of her sluttiest fantasies with a series of players, she'll choose to settle down with a beta

that's why you see women who were super sexy and hot when they were young end up married to really beta, but predictable usually older guys

He'll probably clarify

AT LEAST SOMEONE WANTS TO KISS YOU, YOU FUCKING NORMIE

And that, my friends, was the best explanation out there.

Fun fact, after they settle with the beta, they still fantasize about tyrone and chad's cock.

I wish prostitution was legal in "Burgerland"

This or it can be a woman wanting to get the most wanted guy to her self, depending how cynnical you are.

It depends, I only had one slut encounter and i hated it.
Im no player, I see my self more as a rake to be honest, but one like cassanova, who eventually wants to settle as I get older, though Cassanova lived a bitter life alone.
Perhaps its because they have shit loads of money which is a basis of their confidence.

Trust me guys theres still a handfull of good women out there, well get there eventually I hope

I have a dream that all of us will eventually get laid one day

and he's usually supporting tyrone and chad's bastard children while she has affairs and spends his money at the bar and day spas while the nanny raises her street rats

I just want a god dam family and kids and to raise them in my homeland in a quiet ranch.

Christ you guys are more cynical than I.

Eleanor 2 - Lesson of Passion

I want a child to be proud of dont get me wrong, I just want to complete my goals before I drop them and focus on his/hers

as someone whos heart pounds when I hold hands with someone I completely understand what you mean

iktf user

Ayy does NLP work?
Never bothered reading the fucking book.
Just read TG, and the first page of RoTG over and over and over way back when.

I get you man

If any one wants some advice just let me know ill be heading off in a bit.

ayy nice name

Only you think shes adorable, if youre actually cute enough to get a good looking girl tell you this you probably dont belong here or youre quite the excentric one. Ive had tons of girls tell me they want to kiss or fuck me, thing is none of them were girls you would be proud of fucking.

Im happy about how this thread went

You inspired me, I'm going to be just like you with a twist.
lmao no I'm gonna become a wizard and pretend it's by choice because I look okay

I'll probably ask for some advice if I ever see you in a thread again.

...

*cough

m8
Either I missed that or I registered it subconsciously.
Are you a magickckcian?
Stop influencing my actions

fuck

DOC I NEED YOUR HELP I GOT AN UPSET STOMACH

Society doesn't know how fucked up in the head I am.

I've use onaholes

I've watched tons of anime

I've been on 4chan since 2006 and I climbed all the way here

I've done some really fucked up things by society's standards

I honestly think I have some form of….special shit going on in the brain

I have looks, sure. But when I look in the mirror, that guy is not me. It's a mask to really hide the "eccentric" and "unique" person that my friends and family see me as.

That handsome and funny guy that everyone sees doesn't know the real me. Only Holla Forums knows the real me.

A hollow, jaded, politically addicted, booze loving, masochistic, anime addicted, shitposting addicted, pepe posting fuck that hides behind "looks".

IT MEANS I KNOW THAT FEEL.

help me

tbh every relation ship ive been in i had to wear a mask kinda like you have

checked
:^)

It's all good, im a wizard

I would say wait until you go to the bathroom and just hang there for a bit

user, I….

I had to search up IKTF too man dont worry

dude replace masochistic with sadistic and handsome with okay looking and you have me bro

norton came with the pc, my brother uses avira like a good goy
I have an autist habit of looking random things to see if its in UD I have failed you son

nice pistol dubs

every time I had stomach aches I just let it happen and shit my bowels out in the toilet until I feel good, but I know that was only the first wave, it will happen again like 2 more times (usually) sorry man, the hell isnt over

Thanks man
also I like how we just slowly went to tripfag

I think were kinda alike user, I mean anime is fucking trash and my brain is fine but I have a feeling we're peers
Im quite good looking if I may say so myself but I havent had alot of action either seeing how ive never had enough confidence to do so
I mainly just sit around and play vidya despite knowing that everytime I go out I get drooled over
Its a nice life knowing you could achieve so much but not having any motivation to do so

Theory is useless, in fact I'm pretty sure it's detrimental to everything in life.
True knowledge is only amassed through experience.

Or some wicca psychonaut degenerate shit like that.

iktf tbh fam smh was just ages ago I did that myself so now I get to feel superior
You bang faggots of wimmins while I know that hip hop internet linguo them kidz use xoxo

I accidentally find my mask slipping sometimes to where people may listen to my humor or something that would come from me and they'd go "what the actual fuck" but then I have to act like it's offensive of what I said and put my mask back on, or pretend that something that I don't give a fuck about is interesting or that I have to act like I give one rat's ass about the bullshit this girl tells me. In reality, I just want to go "shut the fuck up about everything you said since we've met, put this blindfold on, let me assfuck you until you vagina explodes of cum, and stop being such a cocktease". I'd love to tell everyone how much of a fucking tool they are, how all my coworkers are nagging fucking niggers, and how exhausting it is to listen to anyone talk.

When I was younger, I thought I wanted to be a social person.

No, I've been working so much with people that I fucking hate people and in reality just want to fuck a chick without having to hear the dramatic bullshit that spews from her mouth like a gaping waterfall

But no, people see me as the most nicest, caring, happy, loving, supporting, and amazing friend that they've ever seen. My bullshit is so thick they can't see all the lies.

I shit you not, amongst my coworkers that want to kill eachother, they all call me the "mascot of the company" because I get along with "everyone".

And most of us have never experience anything first hand, which is why we're stuck

I know, at least we are the curators of something and we are sticking to one thread this is how it all begins man

this hit home real hard

THAT IS FUCKING ME, user.

YOU SEE, I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. GIRLS APPARENTLY SEE SOMETHING IN ME BUT THE UNEDUCATED AUTISTIC AND LAZY FUCK INSIDE OF ME IS OBLIVIOUS AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO.

I always have to play it smooth otherwise if girls knew that I was new to everything they'd laugh at me.

What a fucking interesting god damn life. Where do we start.

I know how you feel, sometimes those automatic reactions just come out

SAME, glad to know im not alone

We've done something great I think

thats why i'm so glad there are "chans" to go to, for you to be "ananymoose". where you go to to discuss with other people who've been red pilled, because in truth, the real world won't accept your beliefs.
they all want the liberal life, every single person I've met thinks that Bernie Sanders is going to be God to america. my family are liberals and everyday i have to come out and pretend i have their beliefs.

I wish everyone took everything with a pound of salt like we do on Holla Forums

try being a mexican trump supporter
its fucking hell, id go on more but i dont want to be le doxxed

What ive gathered from this thread is that alot of guys here arent even fat lazy slobs but just underachieving lazy bums. Girls dont actually laugh at you for being new though fam, at least not the girls I hang out with (mainly just potheads and artsy fucks)
Just go with her flow when you kiss dude, she opens her mouth you open yours, dont pucker your lips and make sure to brush your teeth

I brush my teeth everyfuckin day and my breath still smells like shit

Wew I really know what you mean user

Overkill m8

Seriously though, mouthbreather now and again?
Otherwise you need antiacids doc

idk the girl I'm talking to now absolutely adores the fact that I'm clumsy and inexperienced with women. like ive only had sex with one girl once and idk how to tell her that all the stuff I know about sex comes from simply having an educational interest in it I'm not like a sex god or anything.

Not true. Theory is useless without experience. However, you often can't explain or recreate experience without theory. Theory is invaluable if you want to predictably create a specific result. For example, you could eventually solve a rubik's cube just by experimenting with it. However, using theory, you could solve it in an optimal amount of time every time you try. Combining both theory and experience is the only way to achieve great feats. Do you think Olympic athletes simply practice their given sport until they're good at it? No! They know a lot about how their body and their muscles works, which is how they can optimize their results.

Anons are simply men who are smart enough to not be chads and actually have a brain, and are simply untrained.

Excuse us if we aren't fucking sluts like the rest of the god damn world.

I'd fuck a slut though. Go on and tell me you wouldn't want to have your way with a skinny, 18 year old, blue eyed, blonde haired girl

You may have tonsil stones. Those fuckers will make you have bad breath no matter what you brush.

Also, try to swish listerine once in awhile Shit's bad for you in reality but the alcohol kills the stinky bacteria in your mouth.

On saturday I don't know when I'm going to fucking kiss this girl so I'll be carrying portable listerine shit and gum all day

Hope I still don't fuck up that kiss.

Gotta fake it to make it. Always had to, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Nice, she prob wants a long term relation ship, from what I can tell

do you take daily medication? that also has a huge effect

You're right user, nice quality post.
I'm just lazy I guess.
Applying theory when you fear the repercussions is difficult. Status quo is depressing but comfy.

Make sure she doesn't see the listerene, gum you can play it off but do not let anything betray that confidence boy, I believe in you Kisser

Guess I need antiacids
Nosebreather

I would fuck a slut if I knew what shes been doing

Fuck im going to have to go to a dentist dont I
Nope on no meds (besides that kush)

YOU GOT THIS MAN, remember to give us the updates

user, honestly, all I can say is that I may also have sex with this girl the same day I get my first kiss from her, who fucking knows. All I can say is that I feel as if I know more to sex than kissing because of all the porn I've seen. Girls apparently like it when you start off kissing, take off their clothes, go down to the neck and still be kissing, fondle their breasts, kiss all the way down to their belly button, then start playing with their clit. Get the clit all nice and wet and don't suck up any pussy juice because girls will get dry. Start teasing her with your tongue some more to where she will start pressing you against her body, slowly stick your dick in, get a rhythm, throw her around in different positions, slap her ass a little, cum on her back or on her face, make the bitch swallow.

That's coming from a virgin who hopes that's what you do.

Chew mint gum dumbass, scrape your tongue and stop drinking sodas and spicy foods
Jesus christ do I need to spell it all out for you

This, just dont eat a bunch processed foods and dont be a fucking mouthbreather

Stop replying so fast your making it hard for me
I know you would love to be a slut
What I meant was a bunch of guys who could be as chad as they want or be the next Martin Shkrelli or some shit like that, but instead theyre content with living in a 2 room appartment with a minimum wage pay and a quite nice PC to play their vidya on

Fucking shit I fucked that up

Thank you, lip nibbler ;_;

I hope so. I sweat bullets at handholding and my last ex fucked me over hard. I just wanna cuddle someone and talk about movies because I'm a film buff and shit. I mean my job basically gives me two weeks of free time every month so I don't see why I shouldn't be able to find someone to spend quality time with.

So we got Arion Waystate, OP the best kisser, nip libbler, lip nibbler. Anything else?

Clackity clack clack.
Godspeed you fucker I hate you

I don't speaka the english but I think the word I am looking for is antiacids, if you brush and nosebreathe the smell isn't breath but it's coming from your stomach usually.

We got dem trips boyyyyyy

Nice trips…

addendum; Because I ain't you

op idk I had sex once and it was pretty much rape. like this fat land whale took me to a room at a party where I got extremely drunk and had her way with me. it was not fun and I ended up with bruises on my pelvis.

God damn

Fuck off with those feels

you have fun.
it comes to you naturally.
there's no techniques to learn at first.
leave those instructional videos alone

Can anyone else say they've felt the warmth of a girl laying on you in a movie theater?

I've gotten at least one tight hug m8
But no.

like handholding and semicuddling? yes yes I have. it was at the premier for Green Inferno with my ex. was nice.

I dont eat spicy foods, last soda I drank was 3 days ago at the mall with my brother, and I scrape my tongue every 2 days

So what's the status of your guy's love life?

Where are you guys going to meet chix?

I get so many hugs from people its ridiculous. everyone seems to like to hug my chubby ass
idk why. I'm sorta standoffish and weird.

he forgot about me

you know they say that your tongue is an indicator of your over-all health.

Time to learn how to take off a bra
heres my shit diagram, though wiki how unironicaly helps. While you kiss turns to a make out section slide that hand up to her bra and lift it up. Bring Rubber doe

talking to a cutie with two kids. probably designated driver this weekend.

Gamestop

Spicy as in anything with alot of spices, chicken tendies perhaps?

Mother fucking ramen goddamn it

So I should scrape it more?
on an unrelated note I used to sell condoms for 2.50 in middle school 7th grade

oh god damn it

I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT

It's just clasps that you have to push in and push out yeah?

FUCK FUCK FUDJikdoawkddokadokwd

I was a courier in middleschool. literally delivered notes anywhere for 3 dollars a pop.

its like the metal pants fly thing that you slide to lock

Non-existent.
Nowhere.
You know what's sad?
I know it's possible for me, but I also know I won't do anything about it.

I need a MPDG, now.
picrel

if it isnt like a thick ass soft crust on your tongue your fine

You must've been fucking balling, nobody would do that in my school though, they were quite jewish

I usually intend to stay to the ones from at least the same mexican state as mine, though I am looking at a qt asian who browses cuckchan Holla Forums and a sex addicted tumblr chick to have a fling with because i desired her a year ago but she played games with me, so now that the tables have turned I intend to ruin her.
the girl i really love is a straight a student girl from my home town who is cousins with maria I fucked up big time Holla Forums hold me

When I pick up girls I am usualy passive or hide my tracks, I dont make it obvious that i like them right off the bat for they build a bigger wall to you, bigger than the one thats gunna keep my people out.

Doc knows whats up

sold the condoms planned parent hood gave out to niggers every V.day to chads during a dance for tree fiddy a pop.
Funny thing they were to shy to go to the clinic down the street.

I was ery fast and gave no shits about classes to the point where the teachers gave me hall passes to wander around the school so they wouldn't have to deal with me when I finished my class work.

...

Ironic. This is like some movie plot twist

Its okay man we'll hold you
My market was usually 8th graders that I knew would be too pussy to go to the convenience store, or clinic to get the condoms

Do you have a Highschool Degree?

Who woulda thought, I learned I need to go my dentist more often (havent gone in a few years fml)

I have a Ged because I refused to repeat my senior year for a half a credit in Calculus. so I scheduled the GED tests and did that instead.

gotchya

man, how come bitches stop texting for awhile. She only sent one next today and I had a reply with a statement and she didn't say anything.

I know she always has her phone on her.

Why do girls do that?

I think she might be having this same conversation with her "BFFS" and they're recommending that she plays "hard to get" so that you want her more and think that shes doing important stuff, even though all it does is infuriate you for being ignored

mine has a full time job and two kids so I understand why she cant text much.

The biggest cockblock, the friends

This could also be a thing

Mine is an 18 year old with no kids and no excuse

Probably the prior or she does actually have something to do

Dont make it look desperate, know when to with draw, love is a flame some times you need to fan it but if you stick too close you make it suffocate,

This is where I fucked up in my relationship I guess

people are busy bro

don't stress it don't push

keep it clear that youre interested but don't get creepy and message a fuck ton

guys, after like 8 hours of waiting, she finally texts.

I was talking about a show and she posted "that's so funny winky winky blah blah blah"

how long do I wait before I reply?

I don't want to insta reply to her 8 hour ones

WasThatAFuckingEmoji

Depending on the type of girl you might have to use emojis alot, I know first hand, and I fucking despise emojis

yes she posted the infamous crying yellow ball man thing laughing thing

she's 18 lel

I thought you have to use emojis on an 18 year old chick.

If she does you do too, just dont over do it, you might kill yourself

be a grown up and talk straight without using emojis

I learned from my mistakes bro dont worry I failed so you dont have to

On a side note apparently north korea just declared war with the US I think

wait a few minutes or so to show your kinda interested,dont leave her on read though

The old passive aggression read treatment, so great

yep it works magic
One time a past waifu got mad at me for no reason, trying to enslave me or some shit with that, so i just stayedin a diff town for three days and she was hugging me and loving me the next

You are a magician for withstanding that without commiting sudoku

I just learned how wimmen workes, basically, idk man i just live to shit post on Holla Forums

Dont forget about being a teacher for virgin camp

5137 Bradfield Dr Annandale VA 22003
Rachel Marie Ametin
instagram.com/edoavalon

Why are you doxxing someone on this tread

That is me

again?

Suprising right?

are you sure this isn't you?

yippie ki aye if war breaks out I might have fun after all and die with honor

Unless their nukes don't have erectile dysfunction

FUCK

You know that some faggot just got doxxed, right?

I know the feel, I spent this entire summer on Holla Forums

You chose the wrong thread m9

lewd

chaturbate.com/myperfectharem/

How do I get that

I fucking hate chaterbate because it's user's worst nightmare. you get to see couples fucking in live.

can I add any of you to facebewk pls? ;)

I dont use facebook, so no

I aint putting shit a fucking cking chan site so no

He does have a point there

i can do skype
not my private one

I have a twitter

i can do an old email i don't use anymore and we can get shit through that

ok
spit it out and ill make a throw away

[email protected]/* */

If we do this our anonymity goes away more than it already has when we used names and became tripfags

Op

1. do what's natural, don't do too much with your mouth/lips. Even just apply lips to lips can be really cute

2. Use your hands - her sides, back, hair, cheeks, anything, gently.

true

but its not like my issue was my anonymity. my issue is the malicious sjws lurking Holla Forums just waiting for their chance to strike a true patrician down. theres a reason i don't use that email anymore. its cause the lefty cucks target those of us who still hold to our culture>>6032392

Did you get the emails?

8ch.net/b/res/6032413.html

for those who would like to discuss a new topic on how to blend in with the normies, come to this new thread.

sorry was on the phone with girl.

op you faggot email

[email protected]/* */ is a trash email

what are we doing emails for again

Im going to bed, night guys

goodnight, doctor. Thank you for your time today.

[email protected]/* */

see you around Doc

My daddy taught me all aout kissing… and stuff… all you faggots in this thread have no idea aout life at all, do you?

...

Okay so here's the skinny.

Chapstick. Get that shit. You're gonna want either
or
Because they're not the shitty silica-laden shit that'll wreck your lips to sell you more. If you get Carmex learn how to put on just enough. You want your lips soft as fuck.

Teeth. Brush that shit. In order:
Don't miss any teeth. Anything stuck between your teeth will generate some tastes, so you wanna be squeaky-clean.
For AT LEAST a minute. 2 preferred. Brush your tongue and the roof of your mouth.
If you really wanna be sure. Beware the "Colgate Kiss" effect.
That's just courtesy

Odds are you're gonna suck quite a bit, but here's the thing:
If she's anyone worth kissing just be real and tell her you don't do this often or this is your first kiss. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. This is mostly if you get too nervous to do anything. The relief of honesty will help you relax, and she will probably make the first move after you admit it. My first kiss with my GF she was kinda spiraling into a panic about us dating so I just kissed her and she chilled out.

Can't stress this enough. Relax your lips. Set up an angle so that your noses basically rest on each other but don't collide. Put a hand on her cheek or neck if you want. Plant one on her. Your ideal kiss is gonna feel soft and squishy. Do kissy things with your lips.
Don't purposefully generate kissy sounds. There's an art to this that comes with time. You'll figure out how to make that nice smooch sound after having smooched for a bit.
You don't fucking know what you're doing. She might not even like it.

From here it's a natural thing, it'll take over. If you're good at it, you'll be good at it. Be observant. Use your hands. Caress, squeeze, hold, whatever. Be attentive.

You better make sure she cums first user.

BONUS ROUND

>Find the clit user. If you get a chance you better find that fucking clit.

I was under the impression that this was her first kiss as well.

But regardless, if you're a bad kisser, then she'll probably try to teach you how to kiss better.

Dude this thread started 4 days ago

Witch.