I won't wanna go into work tomorrow. what ailment can i call in as

i won't wanna go into work tomorrow. what ailment can i call in as

op here. drunk as fuck and don't even give a hell about my jobby. sofyware engineer who makes $80k/year and i don't fuck a shit. if i could blow a hole in the universe with my dick jizz i would. what can i tell my boss tomorrow that would sound convincing

Try calling in as a homosexual.

Strep throat.

You got his wife pregnant and need to take her to the clinic.

Daddy won't stop F#ucking me

Tell your boss that you got diagnosed with terminal faggotry.

That's really good tell the boss that you need to fuck your daughter, I'm preety sure he won't question that at all dude.

throat cancerAIDS
from:
deepthroating fat dicks all day

AIDS

autistic

Call in dead OP. Just have a friend do it and then get a new job.

explosive diarrhea

say you've got a bad case of the mondays

THANKS!!

Throat hemorrhoids

Hi, my name is Jamal Johnson.

I have access to 3 popular VPN services, one of which allows me access to 5 other VPN services. Most of them are popular on here.

I plan to spam Holla Forums by bumping old threads and generally ruining the quality of the board until every single VPN is banned. I won't stop until 8/b/ becomes 4/b/.

Remember to check the timestamps of each thread that you decide to post in. Chances are, it has been dead for days and you don't realize it because my spam was deleted, and the thread is still on page 1.

Have a nice day.

Just tell them you are Jamal Johnson - they'll understand

Diarrhea from all the niggercum you swallowed

Depression

retardation

That's normal for you… it won't stick