ITT We post our useless superpowers, mutations, abilities, etc

I'll start:
I have a Syndactyly on both of my feet (see pic related) that only helps me with walking on sand a little bit due to more surface area and I could even go so far as to say it helps with foot strength. Pic related is not my foot.

OP here, thinking about it now, my hands are a bit more webbed than a normal persons hand, but not by very much.

i got a 7.9 inch dick

its not as desired as many guys think, and to a few girls is very unwanted. (hitting the cervix is unpleasant)

Hey, I've got the same thing, what're the odds

I have J-dar, i.e. I can tell whether a person is Jewish with about 72% success rate

I have a big ass gap (about an inch) between my big toe and the second toe on each foot. it means i have wide fucking feet that make a lot of shoes uncomfortable.
But on the brightside I can pick up things with my feet better than most people, obviously nowhere near as good as my hands, but I reckon if I had practiced using them more from a young age I'd probably be able to do certain tasks with them.

I have an extremely high pain tolerance.

I've been hit in the balls enough times when I was younger from my brothers that I barely flinch at it now.

I cut off every callous I've ever gotten with scissors, any wort I dig out with a pocket knife, and dry skin gets peeled off.

I'm hoping my balls are strong enough to face iron toe boots but I've never tried, I have been stomped on with heels though.

Me too fellow frog. We are the 0.05%.
Stalin had it too.

Do your balls work normally?

I can seduce any girl ONCE. For some reason after the initial meeting I tend to fuck things up, but if I really want them, I can get them in bed that first night. I don't like one night stands, though.

As an interesting sidenote, all of my exes will regret the relationship ending and contact me again and again over the years asking to get back together. I actually deleted my OKCupid because I realized several of them were using it to find out when I became single and contact me again.

All animals instinctively trust me for some reason. Lost dogs and cats in particular show up at my door all the time. Strays can always tell I'll be friendly and protective of them.

I put on muscle very quickly. I live a generally sedentary life, but adding the slightest amount of exercise bulks me up very quickly.

I'm right 99% of the itme. I can tell people's motives and what the outcome of things will be. I always know how the movie will end. I always assume people's motives aren't inherently evil and give them the benefit of the doubt, but I'm always able to tell when they're trying to screw me over in some way. This leads to an interesting dichotomy where the same people will accuse me both of being paranoid and naive and too trusting.

Sometimes I can will it to rain. It used to be stronger, but I can still make it happen if I really want it to. Vice versa, there have been times I've say, walked to a store and the rain is only drizzling until I get inside, and then the rain becomes a downpour, but when I finish and come back outside it goes back to a drizzle. I'm an atheist, but this seems to in some way be tied to religion, as the most notable times this happened were tied to prayer (I was 7 and still believed) or donating to a church (their church burned down, I'd come into some extra money, I gave them a 20.)

Possibly related, I have some weird affinity with electricity. I've been electrocuted numerous times and never harmed by it. Electronic devices have a tendency to die in my presence, but at the same time I'm very good at repairing them.

Hey, OP here, I just had a thought that I think will change this thread entirely. Now that we have these powers all together, which power would win in a fight?

I burn myself at temperatures where others don't get burns.

On the other hand I guess I am a bit more cold resistant then others?

that's fucked up mang

have you considered euthanasia?

Fuck no, I'm like a really lame X-man

Same problem here, btw anal doesnt have that problem but girls complain anyways.

i can see magnetic fluctuation, and magnetic fields.
i can also see someones karma.


women often look at me as if there is something behind me, or above me its really creepy.
animals also act weird around me, around me they are abnormally submissive.
i can will ants to keel over and die. they look like they are really suffering.
if i give up mid way through an attempt, it won't work again on that ant. but the ant will listen to me for a while.
it gets less effective as the target has more mass.
my record is paralyzing a lizard to letting it pick it up.

This thread got weird fast. I just wanted to hang out with other conjoined-toe freaks like me.

I have the ability to chew stuff constantly (24/7 minus sleep for years) without my teeth hurting

I have the ability to make 70% of people really like me and the other 30% absolutely despise me

same, and yes anal they complain too because of the circumference. usually girth is about the size of a very large poop but having 16+ cm of girth is way overkill
flaccid it's about the size of the average penis in erection. luckily I'm only just above 18cm of length so luckily the cervix-hitting can be kept to a minimum (if I pay attention to it)

I can stare into the sun for a long time without getting cancer.

I can do a shit on my own terms… sometimes.

...

Not quite.

Just use porn for datamining like police do fag.

...

What

I have autism

I have shill-dar.

100% shill detection rate.

aqua user

I travel between different universes that are often very similar.

I'm the one on the right

"aquanon"

Kek

I am missing 35% of my brain.

Many wrist joint locks do not work on me. The tendons in my wrist are extra stretchy.

Children and animals love me. Im allergic to most common house pets and I hate children

I can move silently and often get ignored by clerks at stores because they don't realize Im standing there. One of teller girls at my bank has commented about it.

if that's a big benis i have one too, not as big but big

so you're like aquaman but instead of just being useless as a superhero you're useless as a superhero AND a person

I am utterly impervious to cold temperatures. I wear shorts and sandals all year round and I can barely feel the cold in winter. Sometimes I go barefoot, because the sandals are making my feet sweat.

Unfortunately, it also works the other way around. I cannot stand high temperatures. It's fine for most of the year, but when summer comes around, I need a fan pointed at me at all times.

Whoops. Forgot to clear name from another thread.

How can we vote for you as President?

you already did. twice.

you're just white

haHAAAAA

your balls should be cut off ,your degenerate genes must not spread

...

Yeah pretty much

I wish some drawfag would make all of us into a shitty justice league or something along those lines

Like ths?

Uh… No?

I have every magic card since onslaught memorized.
my left pinky was snapped and healed crooked, it now faces out ward and lets me hit the ctrl key easier when playing games
I have very long and flexible legs, and decently long toes, and use them to pick things up when i'm gaming or working.
My right rib makes a noise and hurts when I flex.
I have a super high metabolism

sounds like it's broken

...

i have a giant gap between my big toe & the next to the point where i have great grip strength with it & when i was a kid I could use it to help me climb trees

Only one of my eyes functions, but I have to do all the attention-paying.

I was gone for the last day or so, but yeah my balls work correctly.

i can snap my hips

I have the same thing on both feet to a lesser degree OP. Im also very flexible, can bend my middle finger back to my wrist etc.

I have tbe power to force Warner Brothers to make bad superhero movies.

I can't really control it, though.

can you touch your wrist with the same arm's thumb?

forgot pic

I'm partially circumcised

My dick is so big that to lower the incredible amount of blood it consumes it has a mode where it's almost empty on blood and then when i'm about to fuck a girl it all comes rushing from all over my body to erect the dick

I can summon dubs

Dubs, come to me

I can lick my nose

so? i can lick your nose too! big deal!

oh yeah? well you'd have to find me first

Stop being everywhere. Don't be like Heaven.

what?

Fucking newfag.

...

I have patrician /mu/sic taste


you made me read all of this shit.
put that on the list of superpowers

I have nearly perfect spatial sense and have never once gotten lost for more than half a minute, no matter how unfamiliar the terrain or locale.

This probably doesn't sound useless at all until you consider that I almost never leave my room.

I can wait REALLY fast and way harder than anybody I know

great super power

I can post everywhere it seems…

I have an unnaturally high tolerance to opiates. I tried to OD and stayed completely awake and only felt a bit flighty. They were real stolen prescription.

see kids, this is what happens when you abuse opiates

Hi, my name is Jamal Johnson.

I have access to 3 popular VPN services, one of which allows me access to 5 other VPN services. Most of them are popular on here.

I plan to spam Holla Forums by bumping old threads and generally ruining the quality of the board until every single VPN is banned. I won't stop until 8/b/ becomes 4/b/.

Remember to check the timestamps of each thread that you decide to post in. Chances are, it has been dead for days and you don't realize it because my spam was deleted, and the thread is still on page 1.

Have a nice day.

I can pretend not to be Jamal Johnson.

wat

I can die by drinking Schweppes

you allergic to quinine or something?

Yup

it's trash tier anyway

how do you deal with malaria then?

I don't live in a shithole, so I don't deal with malaria.

I can shit mosquitoes to death… it's a talent, not a gift.

I tried to do occultism twice and it worked twice.

Are you santa?

what''s wrong with her toes?

satan loves you too, unidentified toddler.

...

is there even such a thing as enough drugs?

ask Amy Winehouse

I can't… she won't answer her phone, the slag

WHO?

I can see near ultraviolet (it looks like really white painful light).

Had cataract surgery?

I can smoke more weed than any other person on the planet.

high pain tolerance,

I can resist practically any sexual advance and not get a boner

No Gin tonics then m8?

Yup, never tasted it

Maybe that's my superpower

Also I shouldn't be able to reply so fast regarding a post I made days ago

BULLSHIT
you know you bonered

high pain tolerance,

I can resist practically any sexual advance and not get a boner

this can actually be trained.
Just gotta keep practicisng. Or maybe I just broke my hands

I'm practically invisible sometimes. I can just walk past and by people unnoticed.
Say I was playing that tig variation as a kid where you have to get to the other side of the field. I just walked across because I was calling the teachers attention or some shit to win.

I can also make a prayer sign behind my back with my hands fully flat.
My arm joints can also twist 180 degrees.
Both of these cause me pain

I can only get with short chicks. I want a tall chick.
I'm cursed.

I have the superpower of spouting original, yet completely useless philosophical bullshit and gaining followers in the process. I'm a walking cult at this point.

I've got "trick shoulders". I can pop them out of the shoulder socket. They're utterly useless except to creep people out, and now that I'm getting older they pop and crack something awful. It means that I can lean forward and prop myself up at strange angles, to the point where people associate that sitting position strictly with me. I can twist my arm around and plant my hand on a surface so that my fingers point straight behind me (if my sternum faces 12 o'clock, my fingers can all point at 6). Yeah besides weirding people out and being able to lean forward for an extended period of time while propping myself up, they're useless.

I also suppressed my need to shiver and for a long time simply didn't. Then I realized I was uncomfortably cold whenever it got cold, so I forced it to start again. My shivering is really erratic now, coming in spurts and rarely sustained.

I have relative pitch, if not perfect pitch. I can tune a guitar by ear pretty reliably and can pick Concert C out of thin air. I recall musical melodies (but not usually the lyrics) with damn good accuracy to their pitch and general structure. If someone sings out of key to a familiar tune I know in an instant. I can transpose a melody on the spot if I'm prompted with the proper key audibly. None of this is actual theory, mind you. Just singing.

And the last one, I am absolutely impervious to learning anything having to do with bowling. I reached some predetermined universal limit to my knowledge somewhere and now bowl a 90 average incredibly consistently. If I have a few shit games, I'll have a few good games to balance things out. I cannot learn, I cannot apply anything new to myself, I simply hover at this predetermined average.

Also the only way I can sleep comfortably is on my sides, and 50% of the time my shoulders will slip out of the socket while I'm asleep and I'll wake up aching for a few hours. It sucks ass.

...

6.5" here. It's perfect

Literally slip out?

I also suppressed my need to shiver and for a long time simply didn't. Then I realized I was uncomfortably cold whenever it got cold, so I forced it to start again. My shivering is really erratic now, coming in spurts and rarely sustained.


Holy shit me too user

I've got extraordinary spatial sense, I can sort of sense where things are with my eyes closed… Even catching a ball multiple times.

I've got this thing, with luck… I've got the worst trivial luck, but I get pretty lucky on, not big things but important things… U can also sort of sense luck.

O never get full. I'm practically a radiator when I've got plenty of food in me. I can chill in snow with shorts and a T-shirt… I'm really heat sensitive though.

I've noticed something with my luck as well. I've been taking online tests and just by giving one quick read over a question, even if i don't understand, i can just "feel" when the answer is probably right. This works around 75% of the time. Either I subconsciously know the answers somehow or i'm insanely lucky.

Fuck i worded that badly. I meant to say that on multiplt choice tests i hover over each choice and get a feeling that it's right.

As far as it can slip out. The muscles and tendon and shit prevent my arms from shifting more than a few inches.

I have a disorder that causes mild seizures in my limbs. As a result, my arms, chest, and legs are very strong and muscular. The tradeoff is looking like I'm about to die whenever it starts in public and occasionally tripping or dropping things. Having to explain it to strangers all the time is a pain, but I get to be a /fit/ NEET.

Yeah that's definitely luck sensing. I've done it in legend of Zelda, the ocarina if time. The treasure chest game in town? Nearly impossible to beat until you get the lens. Well I was bored and I went in… Going between the two chests I felt a certain pull from one, so I picked it and got the key. Went to the next room, again. Third room I started to second guess myself but still got it. 4th I doubted too much and lost it.

Speaking of tests though IRL when I take the test I just fill in the answers automatically, like I could have been paying no attention in class but the answer will come and I'll write it down… I'm always the first one done, often by a wide margine. I only knewnone chick who was faster than me. We actually turned our papers in at the same time but she checked her work, I didn't… So she also got slightly better scores

No - I have heard of that though.