Can you guys share some of your feels? I don't think i can make it through this night alone. I'll start.
>be me
>just started freshman year of hs
>always was the clown that was slowly dying inside
>dumbass me thinking that i'll change once i get older
>didn't talk to anyone much, was trying to figure out how everyone was like
>i notice this girl
>colleague makes us talk to each, both of us are awkward af
>she was the first person i noticed in that god forsaken place
>me being a total betafag, didn't know how to even approach her for a conversation
>idea.jpg
>i noticed that she was extremely smart
>we started small talking more and more, and more and more i was amazed by how much i could love this person
>one fateful evening, while we were talking, i ask her if she liked anybody from our class
>i was fucking ready for anything, even being in the friendzone
>i would have died for this girl if she asked me right then and there
>she avoids the question by asking me the same thing
>i gave her a deal
>we were to encrypt our answers with a code and send them to each other
>i sent her a simple letter substitution
>she gave me a full-on math puzzle
>after two hours, i deciphered my name
>i thought i got the code wrong
>i ask her, she simply says
>"i love you, you idiot"
>we were together for a year and three months
>i didn't think happiness like that could exist
>we planned our marriage, we went through hell with both our families, we were supposed to move in together this autumn
AND OH BOY DID I FUCK IT UP
>at best friend's 18th birthday party
>a little angry at her for whatever stupid fucking reason
>get drunk, kiss another girl
>tell her the next day, i came a fucking inch away from killing myself
>after a month we decide to give it another shot
>before we did this i wanted to make sure what i did wouldn't hurt her anymore
>she said sure, and gave me one of those smiles that melted me to my fucking core
>after a week, it started hurting
>i didn't know how to deal with it, i would have done anything so that she wouldn't hurt anymore
>so, being the absolute idiot that i was, i made her hate me
>i broke up with her again, acted like i didn't feel anything
>i would have done anything just to make her forget me and what we had, so i did
>all our common friends, even one that i considered a life-long bro, chose her over me
>she has a new boyfriend now, seems happier than she ever was with me
>her birthday is in 4 days
>i always said i would give my life for her
>apparently i did
>i haven't felt happy since
>started smoking
>noone knows why i became a cynical cunt with no friends
>had an impending sense of doom for the last few years, managed to avoid a mental breakdown by always thinking of something else
>all of it, up until now
>i was in the dark, she was my sun, my reason to get up in the morning, my everything
It's 4:25 am, Holla Forums, and it's never been darker my whole life.
I'm not getting out of this
Can you guys share some of your feels? I don't think i can make it through this night alone. I'll start
Even greentext has abandoned you.
I'm sorry.
You dug the hole and you're gonna to have to carry that weight.
I think it's time for you to drift on to the next town. Walk on, friend.
Walk on.
I wonder if getting /fit/ is the answer
people who run around a lot seem happy
lol. you fucking nerd. you did it to yourself.
oh yeah right.
and you made her feel like shit? what the fuck?
hey, look at the bright side, at least you're not a normie right?
i'm not using alcohol as an excuse btw
You should get fit just because you'll both get physically stronger and become healthier. Working on proper form and going up in weight feels great, and when you feel sore after a nice long workout it's amazing. The hard part is getting into it, trying out different exercises and asking for help if you need it, and then sticking to it.
thanks, user. I'll be moving to the uk next month for uni, so that'll be another shitshow to keep my mind off itself
tried it for several months, didn't make any difference, quit. thanks for the advice though
this is OP?
did you also try distance running instead of lifting
was p. relaxing and addictive for me and got rid of energy so you don't stay up all night and feel shit
yes, also did that. I'll have university to concentrate on starting in september, and i can only hope that will work, because it's my final option. and i did get 3 dubs so hey, maybe i won't fucking off myself yet
Now you can be a cynical jaded ass-hole like the rest of us.
You're not gonna get over shit by isolating yourself and pity yourself for the dumb as fuck (I mean holy fuck, are you even serious?) thing(s) you did. Smoke weed and socialize, finding new people to have feelings for lets you get over/forget the old ones.
weed is bad
p. sure most suicides are former pot heads
i smoked weed now I'm gay
also tried that, but it's not the kind of pain that goes away with other people. it's the kind of pain that brought me here
this is what i get to call home, so i suppose i'm not that bothered
This is worth a watch if you consider killing yourself.
I'm not saying it's easy as just meeting some new people and hanging out, also you haven't really told us how recent this was. Regardless of the approach try to use to get over it you'll still need time and there's no magical solution.
and here i was thinking i was done crying for the night. thanks user, and i'm not being sarcastic
the definitive break-up was a year and a half ago. since then i've tried sex, alcohol, drugs, anything except genuine human bonding, because i couldn't trust anyone enough after all those fuckers left me. and i know i'll still need time, but i find it obnoxious when people tell anyone that time heals everything. and don't get me wrong, i'm not bashing your advice, i'm grateful. time only teaches you how to live with the pain, and i'm still learning i guess
Yeah that video has made me cry like a little bitch a few times too.
Don't get me wrong, time alone wont do shit. But time presents unexpected opportunities, changes in the way you're thinking, finding things (or people) you actually enjoy. A year and a half isn't that, I know I didn't get over my shit that fast and I still feel like shit from time to time.
thanks, man. i really needed something to get me through the night. and a huge thank you to all the anons in this thread. the sun started rising and i'll try going to bed. have a good time everyone
have some d.va and quiet as farewell
A year and a half isn't that much*
I realize that I'm not coming with any real usable advice here, if I knew what would 100% get you out of a depression I would have done it myself.
I get your trust issues, I have them too. Don't go out and think "I'm going to make friends for life and find a wife". Just be casually friendly and make some friends that you don't even necessarily care that much about, maybe they'll grow on you (and wise versa) or it'll remain a shallow friendship and nothing of value was lost.
Lately I've felt a lot better because of socializing rather than isolating myself with my own thoughts, going in a dark downwards spiral.
the only really hurtful thing that happened in that was all your friends choosing her over you. I broke up with a girl once bcuz we didn't have compatible personalities after dating her for a year. She throws a flare at my front door, with a new boyfriend, makes herself a victim, and tells all my friends i was a jerk. So i start actually being hostile to her. after a year or so, I just stopped caring about having good friends and no longer worry about anyone or anything liking what i think or say. I'd say it was a beneficial experience bcuz now she's just a stoner slut that'll date someone even after they cheat on her multiple times and I'm a well-read, independant, introvert that don't need no Wo-man.
Goodnight user, if you happen to be a Swefag like myself (since we're in the same timezone) we should get a beer together and complain about our lives sometime.