Probably a long shot but do we have any other Mormons/ LDS here?

Leo Reed
Leo Reed

Probably a long shot but do we have any other Mormons/ LDS here?

Other urls found in this thread:

cesletter.com/Letter-to-a-CES-Director.pdf
youtube.com/watch?v=U-BU1HEzIO0
mormonssecret.com/
christianmormons.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/god-makers-cartoon-analysis.html

Cameron Williams
Cameron Williams

I did some LDS last night

shit was pretty cash. saw some really cool colors

Blake Carter
Blake Carter

Thank you for your contribution. Nice trips.

Dylan James
Dylan James

if your god is so great, why did he give trips to a heathen like me?

Asher Hughes
Asher Hughes

I used to be a TBM. I still go and do the things but I don't believe anymore. What do you need?

Caleb Anderson
Caleb Anderson

You should pray about it.

Nothing in particular, mostly just curious whether other LDS use these chans.
I'm a convert so the culture is more repressed than I'm used to.

Mind if I ask why you choose to be involved without a testimony?

Robert Sanders
Robert Sanders

Mormons on a Bavarian calligraphy exchange

Take your magic underwear and get in your UFO

Levi Carter
Levi Carter

My friends are LDS. All 2 of them. It gives my life some semblance of structure. It would be more of a hassle to leave now. I'll probably just go inactive when I move, maybe.

I'm also trying to get close to God or find out if he even exists, and I guess the LDS church is kind of my control group. To see how people can have mystical experiences and stuff without them being based on truth.

Julian Diaz
Julian Diaz

I'm also trying to get close to God or find out if he even exists
pro tip: he doesn't

Owen Adams
Owen Adams

I'd just like to be sure.

Luis Perez
Luis Perez

Haha. Well alright, then. Best of luck.

Cooper Myers
Cooper Myers

Why did you join, if you don't mind me asking?

Jace Ross
Jace Ross

inb4 tl;dr

I was really high when the missionaries asked me to meet with them. I'd turned them down a few months before.
But in my altered state of mind, I thought it would be fun to at least learn about it. I was an atheist, not the fedora type, but I did enjoy listening to debates and learning about theology.
I expected them to list off all the benefits and tell me why I should believe, but they just told me what they believed and asked me to read the book/ pray about it.
I did it daily for about a month and a half but felt nothing. It was when I was close to thinking I'd done all I can that I really put my all into it and got my answer.

To be honest, it's the best decision I ever made. I went from being a total shut-in autist on a non-stop 4 month high who could barely leave the house or talk to strangers without panic attacks to being totally clean and social, no longer depressed and giving talks to 100+ people. Even if I had no testimony, this woulda been the best thing to happen to me in years.

But anyway, a lot of my personal prayers have been answered, occasionally right as I finish praying. Maybe I'm just lucky or messed up enough to have really needed the help, but I believe the lord was there to help me.

It's funny to go teaching with the missionaries now and see a bit of my old self in them. Like the fedora athe(aut)ist who researched church history in advance and came to the lesson with a pre-written list of 30 questions and a bag of fossils asking for a video interview, then got upset and never returned after we answered them all just fine.

There are many difficult questions we can't answer, I could've done a better job stumping us.

Jordan Campbell
Jordan Campbell

Did someone said Mormons and LSD?

Nicholas Morgan
Nicholas Morgan

mormons and LSD
I guess that explains the magic underwear

Anthony Morales
Anthony Morales

Well, you sound like you're doing just fine with the church then. Good for you I suppose. I think its worth considering that perhaps you had this ability to not be autistic, pessimistic or what have you all along, and you just needed an excuse or some snake oil to channel ill.

Or maybe Joseph Smith really did find the plates of gold up in Palmyra. And all that follows is true. Either way, if you ever feel like putting your mystical self in conflict with your logical self, read this over.

cesletter.com/Letter-to-a-CES-Director.pdf

Zachary Hall
Zachary Hall

I already read it, along with lurking exmo communities, but I appreciate you looking out for me.

I'm sure with enough time and help, I coulda dealt with my issues in other ways, but I'd already tried a bunch of meds and therapy. The church helped a lot, but it's not the cornerstone of my testimony.

Levi Bennett
Levi Bennett

Enjoy having five wives but no coffee, fag!

Eli Foster
Eli Foster

I was once in a similar place

here's a song that really helped me

Jeremiah Foster
Jeremiah Foster

Kek

Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Davis

Jesus Christ, you insufferable faggot.

Chase Nelson
Chase Nelson

I grew up in Utah.
Attended The Church until I was 12.
That's when the Bishop sat me down in his office and among a whole bunch of other bullshit he told me masturbation was a sin.
Never looked back.

Cooper Price
Cooper Price

stack of words
There is a lot of philosophy that is much more worthy of your time, user. You realize that's all it is, right? Philosophy+mythological drivel

Joshua Wright
Joshua Wright

Your religion is retarded and you should feel retarded. Kill yourselves you stupid faggots.

Dominic Fisher
Dominic Fisher

Even Christians think you're fucking retarded, how retarded does that make you look?

Asher Davis
Asher Davis

I like your taste in music

Jason Flores
Jason Flores

buh… but I feel muh God in muh heart, and he speaks ta me through the miracles of flippityflap jabibityboop doowap skittilydonkadoolittle.

Ethan Robinson
Ethan Robinson

youtube.com/watch?v=U-BU1HEzIO0

Jaxon Wood
Jaxon Wood

If so, I highly recommend listening to the entirety of their album, The Most Lamentable Tragedy, while reading the lyrics.

Here's the second act.

Daniel Russell
Daniel Russell

Fuck it, may as well ask

Anyone else think there is a creator but its more akin to an alien race than what we normally consider god? We would be like a science project where we have overseers but they couldnt care less what we do.

Carter Parker
Carter Parker

He's right you know. 12 and already fapping problems? WTF you're not even sure how it's supposed to really work at that age still you lil degenerate

Michael Mitchell
Michael Mitchell

implying 12 isn't the best time to fap…

Jaxson Thomas
Jaxson Thomas

I'm also LDS. I'm in my elders quorum presidency and I teach Sunday school. I'm married with kids. I fap when I want, smoke an occasional bowl, and drink if I feel like it. We all have our struggles.

I love 8ch.net because it's one of the few places where people are free to be whatever the fuck they want to be.

I do have testimony of the restored gospel. I believe it's true with all my heart. And I know that it defies logic. But I'm still here…

Ask me anything.

Chase Hernandez
Chase Hernandez

testimony of the restored gospel
wtf does that mean?

also if I join can I marry lolis?

Kevin Nelson
Kevin Nelson

And I know that it defies logic.

Brandon Phillips
Brandon Phillips

you spelled LSD wrong.

Jonathan Williams
Jonathan Williams

what benefits would i get if i converted to LDS?

Jack Harris
Jack Harris

Oh, I don't know… How about your own planet? Yeah…

Ian Martinez
Ian Martinez

wait what? is that real? tell me more

Liam Gonzalez
Liam Gonzalez

Can you really have a testimony of the restored gospel? Haven't you read Kimball's The Miracle of Forgiveness?

If you sin and you don't repent, that's pretty dang bad. If you sin but you don't even think of it as a sin, that's even worse.

If you don't believe then there's no issue, props to you. If you do, you're pretty much locking yourself out of Exaltation and maybe even the celestial kingdom.

Ethan Hill
Ethan Hill

Fapping is bad, but not for any religious reasons.

Kevin Lewis
Kevin Lewis

Not religious at all but fapping is fucking my life. That and porn.

Dominic Morgan
Dominic Morgan

You gotta stop then. You don't need to believe in magic or God to see what its doing to your life and your body.

Have you ever quit anything? Its like smoking. First week is hell. You get through that, it gets easier. You'll have hard days (no pun intended) but if you get through it, goes back to being "normal". You fall off the wagon, it feels pretty bad but you just have to get back up.

Stop doing it today user. Because you can.

Oliver Foster
Oliver Foster

Yes, it's real…ly what Mormons believe.

Jason Thomas
Jason Thomas

What is it doing to my life and body? All I know is that my character and ethos will be damaged if I'm seen doing it. That's why I lock the door.

Matthew Stewart
Matthew Stewart

I personally feel like I have less energy and drive whenever I do it. Then it takes like 3 days for it to return. I have more power to dedicate to studying and social interaction as well. the Nofap website is better for the science aspect of fap moderation or abstinence, depending on what your goal is. Honestly, the porn part is much more dangerous than just fapping to your mind. There's an addictive element to it.

There's also a /fringe/ aspect to it but that's harder to get into.

Nathaniel Lewis
Nathaniel Lewis

so what can i do to get my own planet? im a shit skin, does that disqualify me?

Zachary Williams
Zachary Williams

According to Modern Mormonism, no. You can still get it. Though you should seriously question the validity of a religion where they preach blacks are inferior for a 100 years and then pull a 180 in 1978 after the civil rights movements and the IRS threatens to take BYU's tax exempt status away.

Just saying.

Julian Rodriguez
Julian Rodriguez

mmm, well im only half shit skin. maybe they will give me a moon or something instead. are the church events fun?

Charles Butler
Charles Butler

Maybe… See

God changed his mind about black people, but there's no mention of shitskins…

Yes, South Park is my only education on Mormonism.

Dylan Myers
Dylan Myers

are church events fun?

Depends on the ward, the event and your definition of fun. Its all very PG.

The restrictions only ever applied to Blacks. Every other race is fine. Now they're trying to overcompensate by paying special attention to African blacks. You know, the ones without an internet connection.

Adrian White
Adrian White

Exaltation and the celestial kingdom.
Sounds cool. Is it on steam?
Do you pray for forgiveness after a few hours in a trap thread, anons? If so, what line does god take on your behaviour? What about niggerhate and the kike question? Does god just let you off with a grumble or do you suffer for your sins?
I'm genuinely fascinated by this sweet little thread, but I just don't get how you reconcile 8ch and faith.

Gavin Taylor
Gavin Taylor

how about asians? do we get planets or moons?

Grayson Stewart
Grayson Stewart

Yes, bro. The priesthood ban was only ever against blacks. Even Indians could have full membership prior to the 1978 change. Their only "curse" was not being white.

Its not "your own planet" btw. Its your own universe. Worlds without number and all that. Unless you buy into Mormon new orthodoxy stuff like Robert Millet's books. Mormonism is a very theologically liberal religion. Believe whatever you want within reason, as long as you do whatever the church says.

You can even believe everything is alive and keeps God up there in the Celestial Kingdom doing his job, if you want. Orson Pratt and Cleon Skousen did and some Mormons today still do.

Zachary Williams
Zachary Williams

you get a small, hot meteorite and a portion of rice.

Wyatt Bailey
Wyatt Bailey

wait what? mormons can believe in anything as long as they follow church rules? how does that work? what kind of rules are there?

im more privy to cooler climates

Alexander Bell
Alexander Bell

in other words, please sell me on being a mormon. ive got some missionaries around in my neighborhood, but i never talk to them because im too autistic

John Lewis
John Lewis

wait what? mormons can believe in anything as long as they follow church rules?

Not anything anything. You can't praise Satan. But yes, there are a wide range of Mormon beliefs that are acceptable. As long as you can back it up with an interpretation of scripture or something some church leader or scholar said, you're pretty much good. Bishops don't police belief, usually only behavior.

So, again, you can believe you become a God after death or not. You can believe rocks are alive or not. You can believe polygamy will come back or not.

I'm not going to go through all the rules of behavior, just know that those are definitely more important than rules of belief. If you're interested, just talk to them. They are desperate for converts. Nothing I can say will really convey the experience of "being Mormon" which has more to do with social and cultural stuff than theology. Just talk to the missionaries, say yes to everything and get baptized. Go until you get bored.

Josiah Perry
Josiah Perry

off by one. god hates quints

James Taylor
James Taylor

Oh so stuff like wearing magic underwear is a belief and not enforced?

Liam Johnson
Liam Johnson

mormons become gods after they die? what?

Brody Thompson
Brody Thompson

how much does it cost to say yes to everything up to getting baptized? i dont mind paying for entertainment, i need to know how much fun ill get for my buck if i start saying yes to missionaires

Elijah Davis
Elijah Davis

no, they think they become gods

what really happens is that they just cease to exist

Joseph Rogers
Joseph Rogers

That's a behavior, so it is enforced. But that's Temple Mormonism, which isn't for everyone. You can get Endowed at the Temple after you've been a Mormon for a year (assuming you convert after 18). Its part of the ceremony and required for Endownments, Sealings and Second Annointings (rare). If you want to go to the Temple regularly and keep a full Temple recommend, you have to wear your temple garments day and night. Or lie to the Bishop.

What said.

No money. Tithing is optional (unless you're interested in Temple Mormonism, which isn't an option until after a year.) They'll tell you that God will bless you if you pay tithe. Say that you believe it, but don't pay tithe.

You'll mostly be paying in time I suppose. Meet with the missionaries, attend your own baptism and then go to church for 3 hours every Sunday. There's family home evening on mondays and institute (a sort of "bible study) once a week as well. There's activities pretty regularly, assuming there's a decent LDS population in your area which you won't know if there is until you actually go to the wards.

I can't tell you how much fun it would be. You have to go and find out. I don't know you or your tastes. I can help if you tell me what you actually like.

Joshua Watson
Joshua Watson

I searched for God. I came to your church, lured by a tiny angel from Idaho. I found peace and love, but bigotry and hatred walking along side them. As with all religion your church stands as a monolith inspiring fear and encouraging the degradation of humanity through ignorance and miseducation. There is no God.

Caleb Cox
Caleb Cox

whats punishment for lying to bishop?

Gabriel Hall
Gabriel Hall

whats different between temple and non-temple mormons? how much is recommended tithing?

Matthew Adams
Matthew Adams

what if im an autist that lives alone? do i just have a meeting with myself on mondays?

Blake Davis
Blake Davis

Depends on the lie, and on the bishop. You might be forgiven. You might have your Temple recommend revoked or be disenfellowshipped. If the lie was big and bad enough, you might be excommunicated. You'd have to be visibly unrepentant for that last one to happen.

Temple Mormons go to the Temple. Non-Temple mormons don't go, or only go for the basics. Baptism for the dead ward trips (social event), 1 Endowment (your own) before the mission, 1 sealing (your own), and then don't really do exalting ordinances after that. Might even let their temple recommend expire and never seek another.

In a YSA ward (young single adult), most people are college age and live alone. family home evening for that age group is about getting together to play board games, videogames or other healthy activities. There's sports nights also and trips to baseball games, amusement parks or the theater. Again, the social club aspect is pretty big in the young wards. The family ward people would just stay at home and read made up stories about indians to their children or something.

James Moore
James Moore

im not really sold yet. i play d&d a lot, but i dont need a church to tell me to do that. what reason should i join? could you recommend that i join?

Ian Lee
Ian Lee

The strongest reason to join is that you believe the religion. Study it and see what you think

The second reason would be for social stuff. Its easier to make friends when you're part of an "in" group, and other people feel a cosmic imperative to be nice to you to an extent.

I don't believe in the religion. I've been in it for two years now, temple and all. Sometimes its hard work but the social aspect to me, is worth it. That said, I'm not a good mormon by any extent of the imagination. I "sin" all the time and I don't care, I just do it away from the eyes of other mormons and lie whenever an authority figure asks me if I "keep the commandments". I don't feel any remorse whatsoever over this.

That's my shitty sales pitch. Its the best religion to be a non-believer as far as I know.

David Cook
David Cook

do you wear the secret underpants?

and thanks for the tips, ill consider mormonism in a different light now.

Ethan Murphy
Ethan Murphy

I do. The quality of them is ok. They get darker than other clothes easier and the white makes it show more. That said, its the most confortable underwear I've ever worn in my entire life.

Some mormons think they can protect you from harm and such. That's all nonsense if you ask me.

Kayden Russell
Kayden Russell

Are you lonely or something? What other reason would you have to be part of it? Do you feel any shame for being part of a church?

Jaxson Cook
Jaxson Cook

how do i get a pair of these underwear as a layman?

Wyatt Green
Wyatt Green

I mean, why do you feel satisfied with the company of mor(m)ons?

Juan Rivera
Juan Rivera

go to Salt Lake City and dig through dumpsters

Matthew Price
Matthew Price

not a mormon, but there's a mormon institute across the street from my college that always has good food for a dollar a day.
you're alright people.

Easton Green
Easton Green

I have friends who are cool as individuals, basically. Aside from their beliefs, they are just "straight edge" normals guys who play vidya and sports and like to talk about history, theology and philosophy. What I like.

There's an X value that I can't account for. I probably don't have to dedicate as much time to the church as a I do, but I like to. I don't know why. Its a mystery. I'm always lonely, even when I had more friends. That's the nature of being one man in one body separated from the rest, I suppose.

mormonssecret.com/

These are three times more expensive than what you would get from the church, but you'll save time and individual temple payments. They'd fool a non-mormon (not that hard) but any Temple mormon would know you're lying if you tried to pass off as a TBM.

This website caters to ex-mormons and people with mormon missionary fetishes but they are spot on about the garments.

Benjamin Reed
Benjamin Reed

that's how they getcha

Andrew Gray
Andrew Gray

individual temple payments

That should read "individual tithing payments".

Oliver Williams
Oliver Williams

heh, i don't talk much to the people there, they sometimes try to include me in their conversations but they pretty much leave me alone when i make it clear im just there to eat between classes.
chatted with one girl there once who im pretty sure was largely there for the same reason. she had multicolored hair and wore one of those stylized ear rings that go all the way up. she got butthurt when i made fun of women's studies and we didn't talk after that though. probly for the best.

Lucas Parker
Lucas Parker

That sounds so dull and fake and boring. Spike their non-alcoholic, straight edge faggot drinks with some LSD and show them what being human is all about.

Anthony Taylor
Anthony Taylor

Some kind of God likely exists, but it's sure as shit not one we know of.
Religion is a fucking scam, buddy.

Ian Walker
Ian Walker

Do you donate to your church like a good goy?

Jeremiah Rivera
Jeremiah Rivera

ear rings that go all the way up
wat

Caleb Gutierrez
Caleb Gutierrez

Also, that's not the nature of being one man in his own body, separated from other bodies. I'm one man in one body that's separate from everything else (though the separation is illusionary), and I hate people. Simple-minded fucking monkeys, they are. And I'm happy, probably one of the happiest people on the planet. And if you think being surrounded by simple flesh statues is a requirement for happiness, you're wrong.

John Wilson
John Wilson

this kind of thing, though i think it was a dragon or some shit

Jose Stewart
Jose Stewart

Stay in your containment board.

Not everyone can be so blessed with kek's autistic light. I actually envy your condition.

Christian Mitchell
Christian Mitchell

huh, never seen one of those

looks pretty silly

Jack Allen
Jack Allen

condition
The only condition I ever suffered from was being human and having human social insticts, which I got rid of, and now the flesh automatons flock around me, saying I have charisma. I have three devoted, literal disciples. People are offering me jobs I have no experience in or qualifications for. Two automatons I have talked to actually proclaimed that they believe I am the second coming of Jesus Christ, and three said I'm the biblical Satan. One girl came all the way from Canada just to speak with me about curing her anxiety. I have my own, personal little cult now, and I don't have the heart to tell them to fuck off. Jesus nigger Christ, I don't know what went wrong, but I have a feeling it's you guys who have a condition here. I clearly got the long straw.

You should try it. Recognize humans as the pathetic weaklings they are, and make sure to be loud about it. People want to feel special (like you), and they will go to great lengths to be respected by someone who respects no one. You could get it all. No cuckoldry, no following (or lying about following) the rules of some idiot called a priest or whatever name you use for your collectively recognized "intellectual/spiritual superiors," no theatre. You'll wish you had no friends. Plebs are abudant, user. Exploit them. Don't befriend them.

Nathan Collins
Nathan Collins

i remember when i used to LARP on Holla Forums

Andrew Thomas
Andrew Thomas

I knew a moron once, the dude was stupid as shit

Nathan Cooper
Nathan Cooper

Whatever you say, user. I don't crave your recognition. Of my honesty, of your own faults, or anything else. I just kind of pity you. Why I feel empathy for you, that's my X.

Evan Williams
Evan Williams

mormons
Holla Forums
nsfw board
HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Jace Clark
Jace Clark

Our church teaches that the role of God's children is to grow and eventually become like him, just as children do on Earth. Naturally, people extrapolated this to "So you get your own planet?" and then to "Mormon's all think they're gonna get their own planet", like we think god is up there handing out planets. It may be true that we can have a planet of our own but we just don't know and we don't teach it.

Personally I don't understand why the idea of us growing to be like our father is so offensive to some people. The idea that his plan for us and our whole creation only involves eternal subservience and nothing more baffles me.

Personally, I stick around because 8ch got me through difficult times long before I was a member and even if most of you think I'm a crazy cult member, I love you all.

Noah Mitchell
Noah Mitchell

It's not that the idea is offensive, it's just that it's stupid as holy fuck. You know, with the whole magical cosmos dad and all.

Brayden Morales
Brayden Morales

You do realize that only makes you look stupid, right?

Oliver Gray
Oliver Gray

If you're at all interested in learning what we actually believe compared to the video, read this.
christianmormons.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/god-makers-cartoon-analysis.html

We have a lot of odd beliefs. But I wish people would at least make fun of what we actually believe, not what they think we do.

Owen Martinez
Owen Martinez

I mean, don't think it's the planet part that gives Mormonism zero credibility. The big thing that you can't ignore, the main problem, is that "God exists."

Connor Collins
Connor Collins

while anything we believe about Jesus Christ being the Savior of the world is completely removed.
As if that wasn't retarded enough to warrant mockery and warnings.

Ethan Lee
Ethan Lee

Curious TBM, here. Do you have any intention of going on a mission?

Alexander Walker
Alexander Walker

No. I don't believe nor do I have a mormon family to force me, or live in Utah where girls will only marry a return missionary.

It would be a waste of money and more importantly, time.

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