Guys… I got a doozy of a situation that's got at least a dozen red flags

John Wood
John Wood

Guys… I got a doozy of a situation that's got at least a dozen red flags. I'm pretty much a shut-in and Holla Forums is my only social outlet at this point, so I come to you asking advice…

So, I routinely find girls who want to be kidnapped, and eventually we make plans to consensually make that fantasy a reality.

I've been talking to this girl from up in Canada for a few months, let's say six or seven. 9/10 body, 7/10 face, great personality, homeschooled, never so much as been on a date.

We started fooling around on wecam and over the phone, and basically a big part of why she wanted to be abducted was her mother. The short version is her mother is morbidly obese and made her do everything. All the cooking and cleaning. She hosted foster kids and had the daughter take care of them. She had to wipe her mother's ass every time she went to the bathroom.

For the last two weeks the mother has had a flu, I'm told, but refused to go to a doctor. Last night she claims the mother died in her sleep. Part of me thinks she may have put a pillow over her face, but honestly if she did I can't blame her at this point.

So I asked if she still wanted me to come get her given that I was pretty sure most of why she wanted me to was to escape the mother, and she still very much does. Even though she now has her mom's money, everything in the house, and no longer has to wait on anyone.

I'm thinking this could make things a lot easier. She could get a passport, and I could bring her across legally instead of sneaking her across in a storage crate. She's 10/10 wife material if everything she's told me is true, but of course now there's the chance that she's either a liar or killed her mom.

There was one other red flag though, while she denies being interested in any of them her facebook has over a hundred other guy friends, guys from all over the place who I can only imagine met her the same way as me.

What should I do? Definitely still want to go up there and hit that. Plus now I don't have to scoop her off the side of the road and sneak away with her. Now I can just park at the house, she can make me a meal, I can fuck the absolute shit out of her there, we can pack up her things and drive back leisurely. Bonus: She's got a Wii.

What should I do?

Blake Cooper
Blake Cooper

What should I do?

Kidnap her mom and take her to a Clinton rally where you can propose marriage to her in front of everyone.

Connor Martinez
Connor Martinez

You want me to propose to a corpse, user?

Matthew Thompson
Matthew Thompson

it's what Holla Forums would do

Owen Reed
Owen Reed

Go through with it user, will be much more interesting than not doing it.

Pic related

Lincoln Flores
Lincoln Flores

wall of text

/reddit/index.html

Christopher Richardson
Christopher Richardson

I browse imageboards for the memes.

Blake Green
Blake Green

Well if she has a Wii. . .

I'd say go for it.

Aiden Long
Aiden Long

requesting sauce on OPs gif.
i saw the whole video on vimeo few years back

Dylan Perez
Dylan Perez

i routinely find girls who want to be kidnapped

how do you achieve this

Luke Cruz
Luke Cruz

Be advised that you might not get along with her once you start living together.

Even if you do, she's going to come with baggage, guaranteed.

Hudson Perry
Hudson Perry

nice pusta op

Levi Sullivan
Levi Sullivan

yyes

William White
William White

i met her on the internet and i want to marry her
boy, r u retarded. Dont get married. Fuck her, dump her once she gets annoying and move to the next client

Jason Powell
Jason Powell

I'd say go for it. Be sure to get on her good side, just in case. Play it safe and you'll have qt wife to spend life with.

Colton Wright
Colton Wright

Don't kid yourself OP!

You know exactly what to do!

Juan Murphy
Juan Murphy

There's websites specifically for that fetish, and general fetish websites where it's listed, fetlife type sites.

Though to be honest, most of them I find through one website, and I won't name which site because it's basically uncontested hunting ground. I mean, there's other guys there trying to pick up the girls, but they all suck at it. They tend to either bore the girls there or scare them off by coming on too strong.

Caleb Walker
Caleb Walker

She's probably an FBI plant.
If not never stick your dick in crazy, especially if crazy actually did kill her mom.

Dylan Cruz
Dylan Cruz

tell her to go kidnap her self (like a boss), then go buy 10 ring pops and show off your bling

Henry Cruz
Henry Cruz

Just do it. Her mother died before you got there and you have chat logs to prove that you never plotted anything. Also, if she is speaking to other guys she'll probably only get attached to the first guy that gets there (unless you're ugly).

So yeah, so having had long distance gf's i'd say go for it. You'll probably have a good time, and If it goes badly - at least you'll have an interesting story to tell your cell mate.

Jackson Bennett
Jackson Bennett

there's a chance she killed her mom
10/10 wife material

Joseph Foster
Joseph Foster

_...__….___

Kevin Johnson
Kevin Johnson

wii
bonus
You wat?

How old is she user?

Asher Sullivan
Asher Sullivan

WAIT FUCK
What race is she and what race are you OP?

Can't believe I asked about fucking age first

Kayden Robinson
Kayden Robinson

Let's be honest here, if you were in a Cinderella situation with someone morbidly obese who made you wipe their ass, how long until you smothered them with a pillow?

The Wii part was a joke, though she does have one. It's just when she said she still wanted me to come get her I thought "Oh great, now we won't have to sneak around about it, and she can bring her wii with her."

We're both white.

Logan Sullivan
Logan Sullivan

I'm pretty much a shut-in and Holla Forums is my only social outlet at this point
I routinely find girls
something does not look right here

Alexander Long
Alexander Long

It's the magic of the internet.

Adrian Morales
Adrian Morales

I have to ride on this big wave.

Landon Martinez
Landon Martinez

Definitely still want to go up there and hit that

Then why are you posting this thread? Do you need some validation? Look, she's probably got issues cause she had a shit mother but If she's crazy then just fuck her and leave her.

Ryder Hill
Ryder Hill

Listen, if you kidnap and marry her, you might regret it.

But if you do nothing, you will regret it, guaranteed.

Are you sure that you love her?
If she has trauma that affects her ability to trust (I mean, the person she was supposed to trust to care for her abused her instead, and that's some heavy shit), would you willing to suffer the process of helping her to recover?
If she DID kill her mother, would you be willing to protect her (through taking legal action)?
Finally, since she has never had an example of hoe to be a mother, you would likely be doing most of the work raising any kids you have.

Gabriel Turner
Gabriel Turner

wew

Julian Walker
Julian Walker

OP can't into captive bride

Juan Harris
Juan Harris

Your only solution Is to vote for Fagottini at the next election.

Noah Gonzalez
Noah Gonzalez

No one wants your shit meme. go away

Anthony Evans
Anthony Evans

Holy shit, look how wide the aisle is on that plane. This is now an aviation porn thread.

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