Hello Holla Forums, Israelfag here
Yeah yeah
Anyway my problem is that this country has a crazy draft in which they are going to forcefully recruit me to serve in the army for 3 years
I dont really want to go to the army. But in order to dodge the draft, you need to hire a lawyer and pay him huge ammount of money to convince them to let me go.
I dont want to fight palestinians, I hate this fucking country and the last thing I want is to serve the army. Fuck that, help me please Holla Forums
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just look up the regulations regarding physical requirements there is bound to be something wrong with you. hell the army used to turn people away for having flat feet because they couldn't march correctly……btw you have no idea how hard it was not to troll your post :)
you greedy jew, at least serve your country and kill muslims!!!
Palestinians are good muslims
You can get out of military service by gassing yourself.
Just be a good goy and die for Israel like the Americans do.
That, my friend, is an oxymoron.
A Jew trying to outjew a Jew. Interesting
You're welcome.
Jews have no morals. They'll sell you the rope you hang them with.
Good for you. If more Israelis had thought the way you do, there would probably have been peace now.
1: Have you considered emigration?
2: Have you considered joining a group like B'Tselem?
Die kike
OP's a filthy goyim sympathizer, just like Bernie.
Fuck Nationalism. Fuck War.
Why die defending imaginary lines drawn by a state? Why kill Palestinians or Israelis. Flee the country. Fuck the army.
Is Contientious Objector status possible?
Try to gain a fuck ton of weight.
Eat like a fucking pig.
If they still force you, do a really shitty job until they don't want you anymore.
Simple as pie.
Run OP
This. Also be sure to eat the pie once you're finished.
Pay the lawyer, fight it yourself/find a loophole, run, or give in. Those seem to be your options.
here some free pro tips from a fellow jew:
if you are autistic or have asthma, back problems or any malady get a sheet of paper from your doc as proof
the insurance companies wont pay if anything happens to you with such a condition and so the army will tell you they cannot let you in because too dangerous to get sued in case something happens
dont socialize, keep to yourself, talk to yourself, take your Nintendo 3DS with you to recruitation, just behave like the neckbeard autist fedora manlets you see and read about on the chans.
army normally needs capable men. if you fall to the floor after 5 minutes of walk, you are useless for them. Fail your sports test and tell them you have always been shit at sports / had the described malady from above for your life.
there will likely be some sort of normie question catalog where they ask you if you feel depressed, if you developed interest for paranormal shit over the last 6 montsh, if you have delusions or power fantasies etc. This one is tricky. The goal is to seem unfit for military without making them believe you are a terrorist or suicidal emo. Never state you are suicidal because you might end up in a psy ward and never get out. Never write down you want to blow up things or they might jail you. Just state you developed interest in religions or ghosts and similar things that will make you appear non-normal but not trigger their terrorism alarm. Also fill out this sheet to appear as non-normal as possible without appearing dangerous.
one fellow I know did the following: he wrote down in the psy test that he had no friends, felt depressed, was a closet homosexual and many much shit. They took him for a personal chat with the doc afterwars, likely to check if he was bullshitting. He had a mental breakdown in this room, started crying, took a teddy bear that was in this room, stated how everybody hates him and left the room, with the teddy. They did not take him for military service and he is acutally a homosexual loser.
oh and I forgot, fail the hearing test.
There will be a hearing test and you just need to fail it and behave like you have trouble hearing correctly. They will give you headphones and let you push buttons if you hear it left or right. Make your pushings as random as possible and try to correctly push only about half of them at best.
If they ask you afterwards if you have trouble hearing ask them "what, can you repeat this"? Tell them it was like this all your life and you get by by reading from lips (stare at their lips while they speak). Also tell them it works most of the time for you. Make sure nobody finds out you are acting.
nice thumbnail faget
Fucking classic Blackadder
Are you a fellow Britfag? If so head on down to
britfa.gs
Lurk before posting, to avoid getting banned.
Don't mention 4chan or post 4chan memes.
Please don't procreate ever. Last thing we need on this planet is pussies like you and your offspring. Nut up or kill yourself.
Vote in secular parties that will FORCE those lazy-ass Hasidic jews to serve in the IDF.
Or vote to end mandatory military service… Why force people into army ? isn't that the problem now??
the urge to troll this thread is irresistible…aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh FUCKING KIKE DIE IN AN OVENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
jews being jewed.
The first day you show up for duty,have a chocolate bar on hand.
First chance you get melt it down and pretend like you're eating it from the toilet or eat a real turd.
(((They))) wiI think you're crazy and kick you out.
Now gas yourself,kike
This!
Only an Anglo could have come up with something so subhuman (except MAYBE a sub-Saharan tribesman), but this has an actual possibility of working.
My sides couldn't take it anymore and exploded
make yourself unfit for military service
there's only one option
mfw jews out jewing jews
just cut your dick off. they would never take a goy without a dick in the army
purposely half-ass and fail tests
Really all you have to do is cut off the fingers on your right hand. Then you are not able to shoot a gun. Maybe even just 2, your thumb and your index finger. You would still have three left to do jew things with.