Okay Holla Forums, how do I make scrambled eggs? 3 days in a row I've fucked them up...

Okay Holla Forums, how do I make scrambled eggs? 3 days in a row I've fucked them up, they've either been too liquidy or too crumbly, and tasted alright but not as good as the eggs my momma used to make. I need gainz but I'd prefer my gainz to be tasty, not shitty.

Crack the eggs in to a cup. Coffee cups work great, but whatever you have around will do. Now, just put a splash of milk in there. You don't need a lot. I don't measure it out, but I would imagine you don't need more than a few tablespoons. Mix that shit up now. Stir the fuck out of the egg and milk mixture. Get your pan good and hot. Pour the egg/milk mixture in the pan. Wait until the eggs aren't runny and shit.

Remove the egg from the pan and place on a plate/bowl of your choice.

Congratulations! You just made scrambled eggs!

If you're eating for gains you'll have to get over wanting tasty food or satiety. Food is fuel, not comfort.

Use olive oil, not butter.

ask your mom
git gud, fagit

maybe I use too much milk. I do it in the microwave so I guess I'm doing it wrong.

I'm going to try this, how does it taste?

dont use olive oil op.

they are infact NOT how your mother makes them. it tastes like AIDS and Death

butter for good taste,
oil for ease of cooking,
olive oil weight loss.

Butter for gainz though

considering the colour, you're putting in too much milk, you hamburgistani
1/5th milk, no more. just enough to smooth it out. add small amounts of shredded cheese to it if you're a fat fuck.

Crack two eggs and put them in a buttered pan on med-low heat. Break the yolks and stir. Do not stop stirring until the eggs are done and periodically remove the pan from the burner and stir vigorously. This will ensure that the curds are creamy, soft, and small. Now, once the eggs are done (they should be broken up but still have a little mush and wetness to them) you can add milk if you like and put it back on the heat to reduce. I don't usually use milk and it's fucking delicious. Add salt and pepper at the end, and add chives if you have them. That's how I do it and it's always delicious.

the eggs*, not two eggs

Use onions and butter
Premix 4 jumbo or 5-6 extra large or 7 large eggs chop 1 Palm sized onions
Turn on heat and put down 1-3 tbsp of butter
Throw down onions stir on medium heat till soft
Take eggs and stir in takes at least 6 seconds
Close with a tight fitting lid
Wait 1-2 min
Take off lid switch to high heat and stir a lot breaking up any chunks then if you see no more liquid eggs turn off heat and stir if you see large pieces or dry or stuck to pan

Add 1 large tomato in quarters

Also this
I used to eat oatmeal and tuna day to day by the pound ( not usually together )

...

...

Don't put any milk in them. It fucks them up.

Use about a half tablespoon of butter or olive oil per egg so the shit doesn't stick to the pan. Set the stove to a medium heat, and while the pan is heating up, crack and scramble the shit out of your eggs. Swirl the oil/butter around so that you have full coverage, and add your eggs. Don't overwork the shit or else you'll end up with crumbs. When things start to solidify a bit, I'll move those solids to the middle. Only add water or milk if you want them fluffier. Since you're going for gainz, I'd recommend skipping that and adding more eggs. So, eventually things will get solid on the bottom all around, that's when i usually flip over all the little bits…after a minute on the other side, take the pan off the heat, and the eggs will continue to solidify. Once everything is cohesive, plate it. Good eggs are all about scrambling really well beforehand, not overworking them in the pan and keeping the temp right. Also, using enough fat to prevent sticking.

fuck off

Lots of butter and use medium low heat. Stop trying to sear those ficking eggs.