Bidets would sell much better if we just called them "ass washers"

Bidets would sell much better if we just called them "ass washers".

Bidets sound much more friendly to the concerned white mother or middle class lazy fuck

okay, maybe "cunt flusher"

who cares how much they sell?

I'll keep washing my ass properly and laughing at the retards who just smear shit all over their asshole with a piece of paper

how about "rim sprayer"?

So this is your excuse for giggling like a school girl with a stick up your ass at 4 in the morning.

"fanny fogger"

Well they already know what "bidet" means. To expand the market, we need the "ass washer" demographic.

bun splasher

I'll have you know I never take a shit between midnight and 7 AM

...

that's what the producers of Game Of Thrones said before last season

*specialized tool, the power washer 9000

keister duster

also:

ba dum diss

You fancy huh?

hey, I would buy a "fanny nanny"
you only live once

we need a faggit who can tell us which of these are slang for gay sex

Quite the bold move switching from well established name to something more niche.

go ahead, don't be shy

posterior twirler

...

what else did (you) expect from a random board?

inb4 dicks

serious discussions ofc

Anus drencher.

Botty Blaster
Sphincter Squirter
Faeces Flusher
Shit begone
Ass Aromatiser
Crapper Canon
Cheek Cleaner
Variable Bottom Hose System (VBHS for short)
Winkle Waterblaster
Hiney Hoser

I am tempted to upgrade my toilet to this… sadly, I don't think it'll increase my home value.