Official Pony Thread

Official Pony Thread

Other urls found in this thread:

derpibooru.org/search?utf8=✓&sbq=faic
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

scoooot

you in the club and this nigga slaps your poni waifus ass
wat do?

One of the best asses on my phone.

my first official thread (yay)

Oh yay!
Go you!
You got it right and everything!

A+ would OP again.

I gank backstab him

People screw up making a thread?

That Berserk guy was making bad threads on purpose.

its happened in the past, yes. There was a group of fillyfuckers that was pretty bad for it.

Yeah, using porn, not having a pony.
Not putting pony in the title…
Good work rookie

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Fuck bronys, fucking beta faggots.

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minus actually putting "pony, break, thread" or anything in the subject field. Now my script wont pick up the thread…

Some of then would love to be fucked

What did he do besides make threads prematurely?

Oh. He missed the title?
Darn.
Well a good effort anyway!

Have you made a celestia tulpa yet?


Luckily this is the only actual thread on the website so it is easy to find

thankfully those posters have been moved on in to Gaeburn's sex dungeon.for discipline


hello newfriend!

Yesterday he used porn in the OP.

I don't need to, have at least 3 wet dreams a week.

Unacceptable

Uh. Sure.

I was of this opinion.

Maybe you don't need to, but why not do it? Then you could have your wet dreams during the day any time you want, and you know what they say the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.

Do tulpas actually work for you guys?


Well I don't have much porn in the first place so that was ruled out

gaeburn has the best sex dungeon
*squee*

this tbh

iirc smug has a lot of fetishes, some are really out there and after speaking with him and knowing them I find it hard to believe he is actually mad and not just leading people on.. he's quite the devious dude


Huh? How? You mean if I take it as a sport to get told on the internet? No.. That's just.. strange/
That's up to you, and what you feel like doing. I'd feel strange asking you to act any other way but yourself. I like people better when they are themselves and not a censored PC version of themselves.

Uh. Sure.

Tulpas are fake, made up by attention seekers.

Tulpas are gods gift to the lonely, of course they work. Are you interested?

I'll dream your day.

I don't have the endurance/determination/discipline to make it believable

I want to watch the kind of person who posts this communicate with people on the internet. What the actual fuck lmfao

Vile thief.

Hah. As if he ever speaks to people irl

but then, if he got what he wanted from my merciless trolling, why the ragequitting? why did he doxx my neighbors?

its a sensible theory, but just doesnt quite add up.


toplel

I like it better when we were friends

Why? Is it not true?


That's something saku would say. But by all means please do


Yeah it could be a pain. I'm not sure I would recommend it anyways as it is basically making yourself schizophrenic. But it is sort of a neat thing

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I've known them for a bit, he's been mentioning frequently before this that he wanted to leave the community… I'm thinking he is jumping at you so that you help him fulfill that wish.


Hey, I'm like a dog, I will befirned anyone. Some more than others. Especially the cool ones. woof woof

also yes, though I have more opinions on them than just that

I love my room. I love my room much more than I did before this weekend. Sleeping on a shitty stone bed and eating pizza all day with friendly strangers for 2 days straight almost drove me mad.

Did you befirned me?

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Yes, I dreamed about you while I was in jail actually. Celestia and blewberry were there too.

Hmmm a fair theory. But here's my theory: I tormented an aspie until he went mad, put on a diaper, and hung himself in a closet.

I like my theory better.


does this mean I can rub your belly?


ah the comforts of home huh? its nice to go back after a weekend away and smell the way home smells and stuff

What did we do?

;~;

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Who would want to dream of you?

Probably because you aren't that memorable in the sense that you'd come to mind at random. Your name isn't really associated with any characters and you don't consistently post a particular character.

Hey Aku!

brb guys i need to get some shipping supplies

Who would want to dream of you?

Well I know I've given some people nightmares, so that counts


Damn, bitch really wanted to hammer in the point

okay

You're bumping yourself down to uncool at this rate.


It was the first night, I went to sleep and dreamed that somehow blewberry was there with me and he somehow snuck a phone into the jail and I was using it to call people to talk to someone to get me out and blewberry was just being an irl troll and whispering perverted things into the phone as I talked to people and it was pissing me off..

anyway me and blewberry got out and hopped into my ford f250 and I still hadn't put on those deer warning whistles on the front and we were heading down a dirt road pretty fast, I wanted to get rid of blew asap so I was a bit anxious going 60 down the pothole laden road when celestia just fuckin jumps out in the middle of the road and stares my truck down as I ran over it… I was like fuuuuuuuuu BLEW WE JUST HIT A GAY ASS FUCKIN DEER

A devastating blow.

You know what character I associate myself with

That's where I belong.

Celestia could've taken the hit, she is stronger than she appears.

Oh, right, I totally forgot the part about you.. you were literally just that quiet kid following us around and you started to bitch a lot when I ran over the deer so we left you with it

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Skirty do you not dream of me…?

OH MY CELSTA!!!!! LIKE FUK U SRSLY NIGGA!

You can't dream of something you can't even see.

Wow, thats a cute dream to have. what did i look like, out of curiousity? Or was i just a blue pony or what? Glad I could help rescue your dreams skitty

huh? whadyou mean? like in running over celestia and trying to get rid of blewberry?

lets do it

He's seen me!

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I did actually have a dream and you were in it. Jail does strange things to your mind. The isolation, being confined against your will, being helpless to all this.

It made me feel as though I was losing my mind when I woke up, I felt dirty, very unclean. I did not enjoy this dream. In fact it was more of a vivid hallucinogenic nightmare riddled with the more gruesomely outlandish thoughts that plague my mind as a result of being exposed to this community.

lmao Holla Forums will fuck your thread in the ass when you backlink the last post

right.. yes, you were pretty much that guy I saw in the picture you posted before

no..

;-;
But why

Just curious, was I in my armor?

Shall we terraform mars one day?

Shall we one day be able to say "fuck it" and leave earth for a cooler climate and lesser gravity planet?

Can you imagine one day when Mars is a perfectly habitable planet, you hear of news frequently but people rarely ever travel to one another because the trip takes more than half a year while telecommunication is 11 minutes.

We would have reality shows, movies, scientific discoveries and more all originating from a planet most people will never visit. An entire society of people you will never see, be around or talk to outside of the internet. You would hear of mass shootings or the likes, but these are all background characters in your life. A very far background.

>born just in time to explore Uranus

Explore away skitty

Celestia would have to rip Luna in half and send her to two different places

I was eating. Was. You are vermin of the extreme class.

Kek.
Sorry buddy.
Won't do it again

Luna would have to work twice as hard

When is Reece gonna get here?

Why?
I think he's chatting with people elsewhere.

Gonna watch some pony with him.

Yeah, I had a sweet iceberg chart for him

no

lel, phobes and deimos are both meteors aren't they? they are hardly moons, they're less spherical than whatever shape it is they have, they look like potatoes.

Would Luna be twice as powerful due to her controlling two moons? Would Celestia be less powerful due to distance?

Ah.
Well I hope you find him!

gay

Well, those two moons even together are still not even half the mass of our gigantic moon. It would be as though she were in control of two rather high velocity potatoes than anything else.

She'd grow to a higher strength due to the distance.

Wat

kek wtf is that shit

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Her power would grow as trained at the longer distance. The sun being further away would take more power to move around the earth, and that would cause her to become stronger over time.

Skitty, do you browse the deep web?


kk chic fil a

Level X for rape simulators!

Hot

According to this one Skitty and I are elders

Great… Now thanks to Reddit cs is a "level 1" game. Before cs:go people on Reddit would ask if there are still people playing cs.

I don't even know what most of them are.
Care to share?

I don't know much about the happenings on Reddit

You mean because of that ARG site you learned about from this very image?

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counter strike went from a game "only weird people play" to a casual game on the same level as bf and cod.

Yes I know it was still the second most played game on steam for ages, and even after dota 2 managed to stay in the top 10, but it had it's own community and people like Redditors and generally young people stayed away from it.

I've only explored a small bit of this but Skitty and I have been on lab.serotoninphobia.info. I think a lot of it is just unreleased shit or from indy developers


That's correct, how was I supposed to know about it otherwise? having these images just saves me the trouble of going out of my way to look for the most popular unpopular games

Hot.

Ah.
Cool.
Zeddas labyrinthe looks like a shit old game too.
Not too cool

Those games aren't worth finding, and that is why no one knows about them.

I can confirm this but I do it anyways

Are you talking about Tor? No, I don't use that. I've heard it's pretty much just child porn and people pretending to be hitmen.. oh, and drugs

I have an iceberg chart for that too. I was thinking about doing some exploring later

If I were in possesion of some kind of God like power that granted me the ability to post that first and 3rd image on sigs situated outside of your house, on your lawn, I would do so.

Actually, scratch that, I want that anywhere you shall ever live and where you live now to always have a statue of that far celestia with bedroom eyes

I would want these statues to be of the animatronic kind

they would make eye contact and whisper "the most impressive rump you've ever seen" to strangers as they pass by

temp email is level 1? How comes you guys always freak out when I post one of those here for people to use to register on places that bad people a lot?

Also, why exactly is a proxy needed for gore and sex tapes or celebrity scandals? Not like they are going to send some hitmen after your ass.

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dude.. what

Now don't take these too seriously

Just give me a real Celestia, please.

Not in these pony threads, but when people ask for the source of the shit I upload it usually takes them to a website that requires them to register first.

Whenever I post those temp mail services for them to use they totally freak out and can't believe that such a thing exists.

There is a lot of shit in there just for giggles, I can see that, but temp mail should definitely be a bit lower on that list. Just to make it look a bit more realistic.

Is this real enough?

which is why you have to scale it up ASAP

Also evening gents

Actual, real-life newfaggotry.

Wrong type of real.

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so come on, whats your mental image of me then in your dream? haha. sorry to hear it was such a bad experience for you though, you didnt deserve that and im glad its over.

Eyyy, what's good nigga?

awwww i was hoping for some kind of half human half pony diaper horror = ( thats generally how i try to present myself

Nice trips. I wanna know what I looked like now.

I definitely gut you this time

mate, those services are hardly ever banned, even on the deeper parts of the net like places where they share hacked accounts and teach you how to steal accs.

This shit is just something that people don't look for I don't really know why people rarely use them.

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Keep trying.

like a cutie celestia!

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Celestia got hit by the car, I was that quiet kid that only started talking when she got hit.

I was talking about the people that supposedly freak out.

I feel that temp emails are common knowledge.

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aw crap, that must have been really traumatic for dream-you

just spent a lot of the day walking, weather hasn't been terrible sooo…

how're you doing?


yoo-hoooooo

Celestia is more resilient than she seems, should could've taken the hit.

I've been doing fine, just lazing around, watching stupid videos, and cooking some ribs. Had a cuddle dream with Celestia last night.

The fun has been sextupled

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she is indeed hard to kill. when we played MLP D&D it took a flaming chainsaw to put the bitch on ice

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Could I maybe join sometime?

Do you play it in the bread with the dice? I've always wanted to do that but never had anyone, until now

it was an IRL game. I got my friends to play a campaign in support of the NLR rebelling against the Solar Empire. Fun stuff. We could totally run a bread rpg though. itd crank the autism level in here up to 11 out of 10!

Rolled 6 + 8 (1d20)
I roll to seduce Celestia.

You guys know the windows maze screensaver?


I'd be down for it. Shit would be cash

Rolled 4 + 8 (1d20)
Yes, what about it?

No

well, obviously we'll have to do a solar empire campaign then.
also, you fail, but not badly enough for celestia to banish you.


yeah i remember that shit.
Alright, so you lot would be serving the glory of god empress celestia, just gotta figure out what you'd be doing

Forgot to turn off dice, kms

Rolled 8 + 8 (1d20)
What do I have to get to seduce sunbutt?

yup yup

Rolled 1 (1d16)
Vietnam style jungle combat in the Everfree forest with Zebras as the gooks


I was looking through the obscure games, specifically Lostboy.exe, and apparently when it was spreading around 4chan it had a random access trojan, but the game itself was basically just the screensaver


I roll to determine the number of chromosomes you have

Filthy Frank took all my chromosomes.

Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20)forgot to roll

Reecey! join our D&D game! I need 3 people to really get something going.


God Empress Celestia only molests the unwilling. It is her way. You could possibly make a bluff/disguise check, or, if you wanted to go that rout, you could join the Lunar Resistance in hopes of causing her to want to molest you.


putting down zebra resistance sounds good to me! what characters do you want to play. Its established in my canon that Flutters, Pinkie and AJ are with the Resistance, but Dashie, Rara and Twili stayed loyal. Most of the resistance is going to be earth ponies and a few pegasi, so its geared heavily towards unicorns and pegasi for the Empire

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20)
Rolling bluff

What does the resistance stand for?

you have to be really careful with screensaver files, .scr files are practically .exes so people could easily get you to click on one and you could get a really bad virus

You fail and are eaten by a changeling.

Rolled 19 (1d20)
Hot.

It is time I attempt to secure my work situation for the next academic year.

I've never actually played D&D before, ho long does it take to learn?

its super easy to pick up, and its just as fun with people with no experience. Don't worry, I'll look after you since you're new and try to make it hard for you to get yourself killed.


OK, what characters do you guys want to play? Name them now.

Ruby I finally understand now. You are named after the programming language and you tripcode parodying the web framework Ruby on Rails

Can I have my regular name to make it less confusing?

Your regular name is right there, I assure you, it won't be confusing. Pick a character damn you!

Unicorn master race

sooo Rara or Twili?

so where do we play it then?

right here. what character do you want? its got to be a unicorn or pegasus, and Fluttershy unfortunately is out.

huh?

Rolled 14 (1d20)
Solaire
Unicorn Knight
White coat, yellow mane.
Cutie mark is pic related
Specializes in sun/lightning magics

.rara

it'll be a text based RPG, trust me, its fun. Go ahead and pick a character. Rarity is now claimed. Dont worry, I'll walk you through it.

Solaire it is. Alrighty. Roll 1 D10 plus 10 and that's your HP. Do you carry any weapons?


Also roll 1 d10 plus 10 and that's your HP

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ohhh riiight. i might play later, sorry. I'm not always looking at the bread so

Rolled 9 (1d10)
fukk flood

Rolled 10 + 10 (1d10)
Alright I'll roll for you.

Nice.

Rolled 8 + 10 (1d10)

19, Good. Ok you'll be a tough little pony! You'll also have access to a fainting couch that can restore your HP, be able to craft items, and you can use your needles and threads as weapons.


you down Dissy? just pick a pony


awwww alrighty.

Rolled 2 + 10 (1d10)
The sunlight straight sword and a talisman.

Rolled 7 (1d10)
Invincible marshmallow ftw

ouch. 12? for a knight? i'll ad 2 to that just to be nice. your armor soaks 1 point of most regular damage as well, and sure, your sword will hit for D4 damage. Also you can do some low level sun cleric spells.

We need one more faggot to join and I'll start us off. We have basically a wizard and a cleric, so a straight fighter would be good.

Rolled 5 (1d10)
who is wizard? Me?

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rara is basically a wizard or caster type. yeah. you dont have a defense bonus or anything so try to stay back fro mcombat.


skitty we're going to roelplaye. join us!

What?


Correct. Ruby is one of the programming languages I am best at, although I do not use the Rails framework.

Although that is not what I originally started going by Ruby for. I started using this name on /vp/ for an entirely different purpose…

Rolled 6 (1d10)

Join us Skitty

we're doing nerd stuff. come play with us!

Ruuuby

Rolled 3 + 10 (1d10)
C'mon Reece, join us

And that would be?


this:

nah sorry, i get too distracted

Rolled 2 + 10 (1d10)
gayyyyyy

if nopony else will join in I can just start with you two and we can add someone later if they want. It'll be harder with just two people, but as long as Solaire can tank I think you'll be alright.>>5843980

kk chic fil a

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You want to roll play? With me?

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Of course Skitty

Rolled 2 + 10 (1d10)
yes

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cmon! you can be Twili or Dashie or any other unicorn or pegasus pony. Flutters is with the resistance though.

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Rolled 6 + 10 (1d10)

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Just filter him, I did

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Do you want me to pretend to be your wife?

What do I have to do?

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Rolled 9 + 10 (1d10)
You gonna be Celestia?

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Dissy, you in?


First step is pick a pony to play as. Then roll a 10 sided dice to determine your HP

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Rolled 10 + 10 (1d10)
Good job.

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heh what shit post I dont see any

Rolled 9 (1d10)
I'll go as flutterbat?

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Rolled 9 + 10 (1d10)
Fluttershy is not available.

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flutterbat would be with the NLR, is there a unicorn or pegasus you could play other than her?

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Rolled 1 + 10 (1d10)

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Rolled 9 (1d20)

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Rolled 15 (1d20)

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but I said flutterbat.


NLR?

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Mfw user doesn't know anything about filters

Rolled 12 (1d20)
nice dubs

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can I be pepe?

Rolled 20 (1d20)

flutterbat would be a creature of the night. New Lunar Republic. Same for Fluttershy. And Solaire of course considers that group heretics, so you need to play a pone who would be with the Solar Empire - a unicorn or loyal pegasi.

I have a modified filter, thank you very much

you can be pepe pony, sure!

Rolled 7 (1d20)
I want to cum inside Princess Celestia.

yes, I am aware of that. Thank you.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

How do you filter pictures?
t. fellow ponyfag just like you

modified?

That's quite the ambiguous remark if I've ever heard one.


But I am a creature of the night. I am 100% nocturnal.

plus I'm slightly evil, or a lot, I don't know, but I know I'm deffo more evil than good


pepe isn't even a pony goddamn it…

It means it isn't the default

Skitty, you have 22 HP


Solaire, Rarity, and Pepe are called to stand before Empress Celstia. Roll a D20 to determine your appearance in the royal Canterlot throne room and Celestia's attitude to you.


He is now. He is a Pegasus, specifically.

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Rolled 20 (1d20)

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Rolled 3 (1d20)

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Celestia greets you first, impressed by your fine appearance. The Empress of ponykind can tell you have taken time to look proper in order to see her and speaks rather warmly.

"Solaire, you have been a devoted follower of the Solar Empire and my enlightened rule for some time. I have selected you and your two friends for a dangerous mission into the heart of the Everfree Forest to put down a zebra uprising.

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Did you create it yourself or are you using nokos filter? I'm just curious.


only 22 HP? oh no… also I don't want to be pepe…

let me be.. uh…

PACIFIC!

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Celestia is not the least bit impressed with you. Even despite your natural Rarity bonuses to your appearance, you still seem dissheveled.

"Who dares stand before me in such an unwashed state? Answer for your sins, unicorn. You stand in the presence of the God Empress Celestia!"

Her guards step forward and cross their spears.


Sure, Pacific the pegasus pony. Alright. Roll a 20 sided dice to introduce yourself to Celestia

I created it. It's a reverse filter where I select the people I want to view and everyone else is excluded

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In my case I literally filter everyone that isn't one of us.

super easy

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G'day guys, how's it going?

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did I do good?

"I'm dreadfully sorry your highness, but when I was summoned Sweetie Belle had turned my oven into a volcano trying to make orange juice"

Rolled 10 (1d20)
Rap! join our silly pony RPG! You're just in time!


You would be doing good if you rolled a dice, but since you havent, I'll roll a D20 for you.

Skitty, use your tripcode, user's dumb but he isn't THAT dumb

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If you filter everyone that isn't in your circle jerk than why use Holla Forums?
Make your own board for these threads if you don't respect Holla Forums or it's userbase.

Solaire kneels to his Alicorn Goddess.

"Thank you for entrusting us with this task. I ask that you please excuse the condition of the others, they mean well."

All these smug anime faces.

Sure.

I wanted to ask you something Blewby, but I forget what.

Busy doing the stuff needed to put bacon on the table next academic year. Bacon is important, Blewbie.


Reece~


Role-playing as Ruby from the Pokémon Special manga.

why are you always the unintended target of my bait…

that wasn't for you


Oh… I didn't know you had to put 1 in the dice field…

derp


can I see it?

Not when user is lurking about

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Celestia is convinced by your story and she waves a hoof, her guards withdrawing.

"I will see that she is sent to my chambers…. for discipline. You, on the other hand, are to accompany Solaire as my emissary to the everfree forest zebras. Their resistance MUST be crushed before they ally with my sister and her traitors.


Heya


"I know that you will not fail me." She says in a soft tone, reaching out a hoof to touch over your cheek and then pushing you back.- Now go. And take Pacific with you." She says, gesturing to Skitty's character.

The three of you must now prepare yourselves and travel to the Everfree Forest outside of the ruins of Ponyville.

It's ok user! I appreciate you!

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Oh user!

Solaire's face fills with blood, having his Goddess physically touch him. He quickly tries to recompose himself.

"Yes, my liege, it shall be done. I shall take my leave now."

Solaire does a quick bow before leaving.

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This is literally one of the biggest newfags I've ever seen. He doesn't know how to set his own flag

*before turning to leave

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(alright. Confer with the party and figure out how to get there.)

Should I refer to myself in first or third person

I don't understand the reason for filtering a perfectly normal thread either.

Turd person.

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I don't have a tripcode…


What would user do if he saw it?


why am I being sent into the woods? wtf is wrong with celestia?

I legit dont care, I'm not picky

I hate niggers.

Hey Rap, check this

Poni

*sees still frame*
dis gun be gud

"You are being sent into the woods because it is my will. And there is nothing wrong with me. I am the infallible God Empress of pony kind… Is that a problem, strange pink one?"

Celestia looks at you, eager to watch you suffer and go mad in solitude and misery on the frozen, airless hellscape of the moon.

I go to the Golden oak library (assuming it's before season 4) and ask Twilight for any magical artifacts or scrolls that could aid me

How are you Canon?

You wander off alone without telling any of your partymates where you're going. Roll a D20 and roll well.

yes

you could make one right now and if user saw it he could hire someone to reverse engineer it/ find a loophole

While walking away, Solaire shakes his head in disappointment at the blatant disrespect to his Goddess, not even willing to say anything to protect her.

Now outside of the throne room, Solaire rubs his cheek, emitting a jolly chuckle.

"My very own Sun, she graced me with her touch."

Rolled 4 (1d20)
(was I going to be punished by Celes?)

It's 751, same as always.

socks

I think so, doesn't seem to be a bump limit anymore. Atleast that was the case from the last couple of threads.


I'm doing okay, just chillin a bit, getting some studies done, Ramadan is a bit tough when u got afternoon classes and the days are the longest of the year this time(for the northern hemisphere atleast :P )
how bout you?

Is Twilight an Alicorn in this?

751

While you were basking in the fact that Celestia noticed you exist, Rarity wandered off like an idiot alone and Skitty's character, Pepe or whatever, asked Celestia what was wrong with her. Control your party.

Sure

Pepe can get whatever punishment is coming their way, such disrespect. Solaire instead focuses on one of the chosen followers of Celestia, trying to catch up to Rarity.

That video was hilarious!
I love that kinda thing :P
The initial D music was the perfect touch haha

That sucks man… I dunno how important Ramadan is, but could you delay your celebration of it till after your exams?
There's probably some reasons not to of course, I get that, I'm just asking :3

I'm nervous, Did I tell you about Sunday?

Rolled 1 (1d4)
A 4. Great.

As you walk down the street youre pulled into a dark, damp alleyway and throne to the ground, your already unkept mane splashing into a puddle of alleyway water with a greasy smear atop it. 3 masked ponies stand over you, the elite infiltrators of the Lunar Resistance. Their leader, a grey pegasus, lashes out to kick you doing 1D4 damage and scowls out a demand.

"We know you just came from the palace. Tell us what the tyrant wants and we MAY let you live."

Rolled 1 (1d4)
Roll a D20 for tracking, you'll suffer a -2 penalty since your character wouldnt be much of a tracker.

Rolled 6 - 2 (1d20)

I attempt to call for help

Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d4)
Yeah you're not finding her. And even if you did, you don't have Pepe or any other help with you. It seems your mission to the everfree forest is now a one pony job.


You scream for help. Since youre being kicked in the gut, you dont have that much breath to raise a great fuss. The Lunar Republic forces kick you some more doing 2 D4 damage. And reiterate their demand for information.

I wasn't actually serious about filtering people by name and trip. What I do is a little more trivial really..

Check yourself, our technology far exceeds even your best concepts.

Can I make another check?

I attempt to use my unicorn magic to turn around their masks to temporarily blind them for an attempt at escape

Haha yea it was, especially how close he was to hitting them, just worked!

Well it's not a celebration, that happens after Ramadan ends, it's actually one of the five pillars of Islam, gotta fast from dawn to dusk, do good deeds, give to the poor, things like that..but fasting from ~3:13am to 7:52pm isn't easy if you gotta do things outside the house, but I'll manage after the first couple of days

Ooo no you didn't, what about it?

Rolled 4, 1 = 5 (2d4)
Sure, go for it.


When youre attempting to do something or attacking, please roll a D20, it'll make my life easier. Go ahead and roll

Rolled 11 (1d20)

did….did that stat just say we're currently responsible for 51% of Holla Forums traffic?

Will one of you join our game to save Scotch and Solaire? They need an experienced shitposter in the party

Rolled 9 - 2 (1d20)

I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or fucking with me.


my sides

Rolled 2 (1d20)
I think that's the tolerable level of activity he set it to

So you just filtered every post individually?

I'm not fucking woth YOU, I'm fucking with HIM because he reads my posts

Have you seen some of the russian ones?
I dunno what it is about russia but they have the best accidents.

Ah yeah, fair enough.
I think we have a 40 day period of fasting as well during lent, but it's… very relaxed, to say the least…
Leading towards the death and resurrection of Christ

Two ticks, I'll find it and repost it at you :3
I've gushed about it to heaps of people now haha;

My flying lesson went exceptionally well~
Instructor says he's incredibly impressed with my instincts and reckons I'm going to do particularly well in my exams :3
Apparently a lot of people struggle with gliding and engine failure but I absolutely smashed it, that my instincts are completely on point :3
He's particularly impressed with how I handled it given todays conditions as well :3
You have to know where you're aircraft is going to go, how far you'll travel and if you'll reach the airstrip or not.
There's the application of flaps, and selecting over shoot and bringing it to an undershoot so you hit the start of the runway or where you choose to land.
Gliding is actually pretty difficult to pull off for a safe landing, and I pulled it off in 30 knot winds :3
We were literally flying sideways when coming on to base cause of the wind strength :3
My entire body ACHES from having to fight it for the entire flight haha.


And today I'm flying with the head instructor who will determine if I'm fit to fly solo :3


Sorry Blewby, I gotta go in 30 minutes~

Your roll of 11 is penalized by the fact that you are on the ground and being stomped on by 3 pegasi. The spell fails and the two pegasi kick you even more doing another 2D4 damage. Meantime, the leader picks up a trashcan to bash you with, holding it over his head and threatening you.

"Tell us what we want to know and there's a chance you'll walk out of this alive."


Not sure what you were attempting to do, but it fails. You can report to Princess Celestia that your group has either desserted or betrayed her, or you can attempt to recruit others using charisma, or you can go and try to do it alone.

Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d4)

Rolled 18 - 2 (1d20)
I was attempting to track her down again.

Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d4)
Canon youre our only hope

only the ones in the screen cap, so as to give the impression I actually gave a fuck about the spam.

Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d4)
you still in the game Skits?

Skitty. Me. Your anus. It's time. Right now.

yes.

...

I forgot what this black square was.

"Fine I'll tell you ruffians"

yes, what do I do? sorry, I got preoccupied with irl stuff and shitposting at the spam user

...

Did I find her this time?

Rolled 10 (1d20)
forgot to mention this was an attempt at stalling

:o

...

Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d4)
(My advice would be to beg forgiveness from Celestia and quickly go find Solaire and follow his lead.)


No. You cant just spam attempts until it works. The trail has gone cold. Unless theres somewhere specific you'd want to search for her you need to do something else.


The NLR pony leader sets the trashcan down and plants a hoof on your chest, pointing down at you dangerously.

"Alright. Talk!"

Rolled 15 (1d20)
"Celestia knows about your secret weapon"

Oh god no, not the woods~

No, it's not a problem ma'am~

WAIT

WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME TO THE MOON NOW????

Rolled 9 (1d20)
I'm sure all the shouting and banging around is making a ruckus. Do I hear any of it?

*begs for forgiveness and runs away to find solaire*

...

The ponies excahnged a look behind their masks. It sounded like bullshit, but it was entirely possible Celestia had captured someone and molested them for information on what the Resistance were up to…

"And what is she planning to do about that?" One of them asked as the third one moved to stand guard further down the alley to make sure they weren't discovered.


"Yes! The Woods! And you'll stay there until you suppress the zebras or die trying. I have my eye on you, pink one. Any further signs of heresy will be met by extreme sanction! Now go while I am still in a merciful mood!"

You go off to find Solaire, who has been searching for Rarity for, like, an hour or something. Roll a D20 to find Solaire.


Its the capital of the Solar Empire. There are a dozen different ruckuses going on at the moment. Scotch chose to wander off, unless you can think of a better way to search for him you're not finding him til after the NLR people nail him up to a cross somewhere as an example to other servants of the tyrant.

Yea I have, they're quite crazy, especially the ones who just run out full yoloswag on the road without checking anything!

oh I see! yea for us no eating, drinking, smoking, and sexual acts from dawn to dusk for 30 days, also each year the start of Ramadan switches back about 10 days (due to the difference between the Gregorian and Islamic calendar) and I and my family's been doing this for as long as I can remember (expect a few times where I couldn't cuz I got sick)

Haha that's super awesome Rap!!!!
congratz on that! :3
Sounds like you're a natural born ace!!

I'll wish you the super best of luck in your exams then, bet you'll be flying solo in no time! :3


Sorry Blewewew, gotta have to pass on this


I don't remember us ever getting such a high percentage like that.

thats ok, they;re working to stop your favorite pony anyhow.

...

...

Rolled 8 (1d20)
it's because of the spam actually.


did I do good?

Rolled 12 (1d20)
"Celestia knows there is a modifier spell in the Starswirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot archives that would make the weapon twice as powerful if it were to get in our hooves, but it must be performed by a team of Unicorns!"

Rolled 8 - 2 (1d20)
Solaire decides to check by the fashion district, Rarity could've stopped by there.

Yeah, :3
They also have hilarious shit like this
I'd ordinarily be against civilians getting beat like this, but these people are really bad people.

Ah true, true.
Cool, :3

This sunday if I'm lucky~
Thanks Canon :3
I do feel like I was born to fly haha.

I gotta go now anyway, havfe a good one~
I'll be back in like, 5 hours.

Yes!

...

Rolled 267, 439, 333, 981, 875, 812, 237, 105, 727, 281, 311, 218, 163, 843, 592, 1, 541, 343, 815, 973, 131, 492, 577, 317, 1023, 699, 158, 1004, 4, 48, 12, 271, 487, 345, 227, 338, 132, 463, 442, 858, 744, 752, 52, 907, 571, 644, 907, 87, 986, 697, 36, 93, 165, 613, 409, 164, 287, 566, 143, 290, 614, 155, 560, 77 + 10 = 28414 (64d1024)how do dice work?

...

...

...

Rolled 8 (1d20)Solaire regretfully gives up on his crew and decides to scout the city for some actual, reliable, help.

you bitch

Good evening thread!

Yo, care to join our sick game?

...

...

...

...

An 8 is good enough to find a pony wandering around trying to track someone. Solaire looks pretty suspicious. You run into Solaire on his way to the fashion district of all places. Which, it should be noted, is in the opposite direction from the path down from Canterlot that would take you guys to the forrest.


The NLR infiltrators are well versed in espionage and sneakery. Its kind of what they do. The leader looks to you and, due to the rather vague references to a weapon, speaks up questioningly. "She knows about the Elements of Discord?" He asked you, giving you a poke with his hoof.


Rarity is not in the fashion district. Solaire finds you though.

Rolled 358, 210, 814, 109, 848, 1022, 685, 794, 235, 176, 769, 41, 834, 700, 271, 117, 928, 399, 849, 573, 835, 373, 689, 447, 141, 190, 147, 303, 860, 850, 244, 194, 36, 33, 303, 884, 31, 988, 654, 266, 139, 398, 307, 973, 73, 577, 65, 1000, 975, 914, 549, 786, 262, 214, 209, 403, 404, 355, 705, 240, 181, 949, 433, 217, 982, 736, 76, 1013, 699, 729, 254, 837, 102, 560, 786, 175, 113, 851, 151, 64, 740, 699, 849, 1002, 913, 34, 380, 292, 388, 61, 532, 569, 1010, 964, 785, 967, 675, 860, 955, 350, 565, 185, 163, 667, 745, 948, 841, 857, 775, 991, 920, 490, 666, 745, 468, 555, 779, 848, 846, 142, 908, 353, 711, 893, 293, 471, 836, 968, 307, 766, 294, 871, 951, 456, 513, 671, 379, 330, 503, 129, 296, 399, 619, 962, 120, 63, 492, 898, 910, 313, 16, 793, 666, 726, 662, 959, 173, 473, 903, 479, 215, 172, 326, 141, 627, 839, 811, 1006, 144, 290, 111, 440, 689, 730, 377, 808, 792, 868, 682, 677, 157, 698, 446, 823, 400, 83, 757, 572, 555, 636, 27, 769, 807, 352, 909, 410, 166, 696, 391, 310 = 108111 (200d1024)100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Be careful of objects near and around your anus.

What sick game?

Did you finally fix your lame posting problem?

...

...

...

(Checked)

...

...

...

Rolled 20 (1d20)
"That's not the name of the weapon!"


Nice quints, we're playing D&D

hay

quints demand that you join us.we're playing pony D&D

Makes good sense

also you really like that pony don't ya?


haha damn that perfect song for it!

and yeah, I know what you mean

Guess I'll see ya later, best of luck if I don't!
take care! :3


Evenin' Wez!

Didnt even notice!

Heya Reece! How are you tonight?


I always wanted to play DnD! never had a group for it, unfortunately


Where do i join you?


Hiya CaNoN! You alright there, buddy?

Rolled 10 (1d20)You know, I give up on this RP, I'm just going to post pony.

Rolled 1 (1d6)
Well done. You recognized his subterfuge and he's now certain that there IS something going on. Not that that helps you much.

"We're taking you to see the council." He said briefly before attempting to whack a hoof against your head and knock you out.

(roll a D20 difficulty 13 to maintain consciousness.)

lel, wat

is this real?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

Rolled 2 (1d20)

...

Awww come on we just got started.

Perhaps if you were to, I dont know, try to carry out your mission???


select a pony to play as and roll a D10 for HP and I'll figure out some way to bring you into it

Congratulations. You are now unconscious and a captive of the New Lunar Republic!

Maybe with a different group, maybe it'd work out, but I'm not feeling it. Just make Solaire an NPC or some shit

Pacific Glow is on par to fluttershy as best horse.


Ok, what now?!

Why would I keep trying to run a game that you're not even interested in. The group is fine. Skitty and your character finally linked up so you can roll with that. Or you can keep aimlessly wandering around searching for Scotch, who I promise you won't find.

Rolled 12 (1d20)
I'm gonna be all about that POW life

...

Start talkin to Solaire, if he's not going to run off like a big baby

But it's getting late for me, and i'm slow on the replying. As much as i'd love to, i'm not sure this will really work ?

Fine, we'll see where this goes.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

Give it a go, you might enjoy it!


Alright, post to Skitty!

You roll another two. Somehow you fail while unconscious, which is impressive!

Anywho, the Pegasi descend through the clouds and drag you along through the everfree forrest, heading for a secret meeting spot where they can further interrogate you without worrying about being found by guards.

Solaire notices Skitty approaching him.

"Do you have any idea where Rarity could've run off to? I've been searching around for quite some time now."

t-talk to solair? I'm not good at talking to solair… I don't know how to start… what do I say?

...

Rolled 6 (1d20)
The dice aren't in my favor today, what do I wake up to?

doin' okay thanks, thought doing a bit of exercise through the day would help me sleep tonight

it didn't

how's you?

You wake up in a small hut. Its made of wood and contains several little houses for animals. You are tied down to a table with some sort of rope and you can hear movement and muffled voices from behind a closed door. What do you do?

I.. don't know.. princess celestia told me to look for you, out here.. in the middle of the woods.. alone.. and helpless… or she'd send me to the moon, I don't know what's happening solair, help

Rolled 16 (1d20)
I try and use my unicorn magic on the ropes

Had a busy day! Long workout at the gym, went to register for a MTG tournament, then i met up with some friends and we played Tarrot for 5 hours. I won! Yay!

And i'm sorry to hear you didn't get much sleep :c Have you tried to pull an all nighter, then go sleep at a normal hour the next day? Sometimes works for me, when my sleep schedule gets all wonky


Ok. I want to be a discount Luna. So, basically no wings, but think Luna in much everything else. That sound like a fair character? And rogue/ pickpocket stats, please!

Solaire give Skit a look of disdain from behind his helmet.
"Rarity probably just skipped ahead without us, so let's head on our way."

*gives

The spell fizzles for some reason. You can feel something on your horn that appears to be the source of your spell failure. The doors open and the leader of the Resistance infiltrators steps in, snickering at your attempt to use magic. He's followed by Fluttershy, the most feared interrogator and beastmaster in the NLR forces! GASP!

Fluttershy approaches the table where you are held, a dangerous looking rabbit hanging out in her wavy pink mane.


Brilliant. Roll for HP.


Give me a second, going to wait on Skitty and reply to you both

Rolled 3 (1d10)

Rolled 10 (1d20)
"I suppose your pining for something besides a breathmint"

I do that a lot tbh but I sometimes just end up liking my bed too much and just collapsing on it even when I know i need to stay

...

Waitin on you Skits.


Alrighty. You are a Solar Empire spy. Celestia sent you ahead to scout the everfree forrest, which is where you are now. Your mission is to seek out signs of heretic activity, particularly zebra, and report back to a party Celestia is sending to join you. Roll a D20 for awareness and tell me what you're looking for and where you're looking.

o-ok sir

Fluttershy squees, and smells her own breath, looking terribly bashful. "Oh do I have bad breath? I'm very sorry… I'll go brush my teeth as soon as I'm done extracting information from you… ok?" She asks with a hopeful squee.

"Could you… uh… tell the name of the weapon Celestia thinks we have… if that's ok with you?"

I have to go to a doctor's appointment right now, we can continue later because of my separate storyline?

unrelated post

Rolled 2 (1d10)
I do that in the mornings… It's been like this for weeks. Set alarm for a time, snooze it for one hour at least, in 10 min increments. At least my classes are over, so i can afford to do this

You know how to play Tarrot, btw? Skye said he'd like to learn, would you join us for that?


(You) Or any of the rest of you guys?


This is the everfree forest, so i check for any hidden traps around me. Also for obvious traps. Obviously.

Rolled 1 (1d20)
Forgot roll

The two of you head out of Canterlot toward the Everfree Forest to carry out your mission. The trip is rather uneventful. Each of you roll a D20 encounter check now that you're entering the forrest.

Sounds good. Sorry about that, but at least now you know not to wander off alone when you're attached to a party = ) You'll get free probably.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

...

sure I've always wanted to see what my future looks like!

Rolled 6 (1d20)

You fail to find any traps, but thankfully, there arent any around to find. You can go deeper into the forrest to gather information, or you can head out to the entrance in an attempt to meet up with the rest of Celestia's forces.


Yep that about does it, nothing's going to mess with you two, Perhaps the forrest creatures can sense the power and essence of Celestia still on you even from just that one brief touch. Theres a single good path leading into the forrest from your direction.

Rolled 9 (1d20)
Aaaactually, even though Tarrot cards are used for fortune telling, there is a very complex original game the cards were made of. We play that game! Tons of fun, and can get very competitive!

Rolled 4 (1d20)How do i keep it from rolling when i dont want to?

this?

reduce the number of dice to zero

Rolled 16 (1d20)
Solaire continues down along the path, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.

what's a faic?

Rolled 17 (1d20)
ok gr8


I'd like to attempt and climb a nearby dense tree, overlooking the path, and set an ambush. Rolling for tree hiding stealth.


face

You spot pony tracks. A single pony alone moving through the forrest.


You hide in that tree like a boss.


All of a sudden the tracks end for no reason, but they look very fresh.

Rolled 12 (1d20)
I inspect where the tracks end.

I'm a magic pony. Can i conjure up an illusion of a trap, and place it in a very obvious manner below my tree? Also, what equipment do i have on me?

You can detect that the tracks head into dense underbrush under a large tree nearby.


Sure, you could do that, but a pony wearing the armor of one of Celestia's elite clerics just walked down the path following your trail, so you might want to say hi to him first! You likely have some knives, a lockpick kit, leather armor, and other thieving equipment.

Rolled 1 (1d20)
Solaire let's out a low growl toward the underbrush.

"Who is there, reveal yourself and I might go easy on you."

Rolled 19 (1d20)
I wasn't expecting company this soon, and i don't think it took me this long to climb the tree. Since noone sends a scout ahead only several minutes, the cleric must be an enemy agent. I remain hidden and roll an awareness check to see if i notice anything suspicious about them

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, while you're making your threat, theres a bit of dust in your nose, and it makes your voice comical and nasaly while you try to intimidate whoever is laying in wait for you.

Your roll is a success, but try as you might, you cant find anything suspicious about Solaire. Indeed, since he was recently touched by the God Empress Celestia, you can probably sense her essence on him with that kind of a roll.

last half of that post is for you

That's a serious question? You don't know about 4chans curruption of the word face into faic? Kind of like time=tiem

there's more but I forget when I am not immediately going to use them

Rolled 5 (1d20)
I climb down the tree, cautiously approach the cleric Solaire and make a remark about their funny voice. The roll is the quality of my pun.

(You) Reece! Join us for DnD

so is there some place online that let's you play with virtual cards?

your pun sucks, but you can now speak to Solaire to identify yourself, which would be a good idea at this point if you dont want to get rekt.


Your character is raped to death by a horny dragon.

that's not a real guy is it…?

he has to be on something weird.. like steroids and synthol or something

Yeah, i think there is places for online Tarrot. I'll have the check if english ones exist, i only know of local sites

...

Rolled 14 (1d20)
Solaire lets out a rather forced laugh at the pun shot at him.

"I ask that you identify yourself to me this instant."

Magic begins to manifest around his swords handle.

...

sword's*

Everyone knows that bad puns are the best, so that was actually an amazing pun. I try to convince Solaire of this, and also mention i'm the scout sent ahead on this trail, i work for Celestia and my name is Wezdor.

Rolled 5 (1d20)
Roll mechanics are wonky

Do I have knowledge of there being a scout?

you should probably post directly to Solaire

newp! he could be an NLR agent, you never know.

you just don't want to admit that you misspelled "face". Maybe I should just be princess of Holla Forumsreads instead of you

Rolled 8 (1d20)
Oops, didn't know how this works.


"Trust me, that was an amazing pun, i'm an expert in puns. Top of the line. Exquisite. Oh, yeah and i'm here scouting on Celestia's orders. Name's Wezdor, by the way. I don't think i've caught yours…?"

Rolled 10 (1d20)
Solaire pulls his sword out of the sheath, holding it in front of him with his magic.

"Do you have any proof you are who you say you are?"

too distracted for that stuff tonight

then how do you play with Skye? do you cam up and show each other your cards or something?

Rolled 17 (1d20)
I'm the best thread Princess. Rolling for best princess.

From somewhere off in the forest you can hear a scream of agony that sounds like Rarity being tortured in some unimaginable way.

Nah, just our dicks! You want in on that?


"Yeah, yeah, you're no fun. Here" i start pulling out my Celestia's Orders, only to be interrupted by

Rolled 18 (1d20)
The scream reaches Solaire's ears. Ignoring the other pony before him, he takes a moment to try to locate where it came from.

Rolled 17 (1d20)
Solaire's distracted, i attempt to pick his bags and see what's inside.

Rolled 13 - 3 (1d20)
counter roll

but seriously how do you and Skye play if you don't know many websites for card gaming?

...

Yeah, you dont have any orders. Celestia cant be arsed to write them down, and even if she could sne sure as shit wouldnt do that for a counterintel agent.


Your perky little pony ears triangulate the direction of the sound. It's off deeper into the forrest. Going that far off the path alone would be suicide, though.


(Argh… Why would you do that??)
Your dumb ass attempt to steal Solaire's shit succeeds and you steal his compass or something.

Your attempt to get the quest back on track promptly fails as Wezdor decides steals your compass for some reason. What do you do?

Rolled 4 - 3 (1d20)
Counter-counter roll. (what's a counter roll?)

he was trying to counter what you did, he failed. you cant counter a counter roll.

He just today said he'd like to learn, so we didn't have any games yet. Also, we kinda need 3-4 players c:

We need a petition that requires people to fully read the petition

But… faic is corrupted 4chan slang, I promise

also, I don't deny my mistakes

derpibooru.org/search?utf8=✓&sbq=faic

Rolled 20 (1d20)
To see if I notice you.

No time to question this pony on who he might be, Solaire must take this call to action.

"Sure, Wezdor, you say you are. We must help that mare which screamed, no time to wait. You must go first as I do not trust you yet."

Hey! he didn't notice me stealing that, so he can't know i have it.

Also, i'm a rogue, did you really think i'd play nice? Where's the fun in that? c:

"Uhhh, yeah. Sure." I start moving in the general direction of the scream, making sure to keep myself to the foliage.

His roll was high enough to notice you taking it, but not to stop you.


(Thank you!)


There is a dark shadow flying overhead and something rustles off in the bushes. It would seem that staying here and not going on with Solaire on his errand would be very dangerous

So, I did notice.

Solaire follows Wezdor, keeping his sword ready. He decides to not bring up the compass at the current moment.

(right, i'm new to this, didn't know how counter rolling works. Will keep in mind)

I make sure Solaire is keeping up behind me, within visual distance, as i advance forwards.

Just curious, what sorta spells can I cast?

IYSS, babe


I'll play as long as I don't have to roleplay with invisible cards tbh.

Join us

I want in on this. What's the stuff i can pull? Deception spells? Camouflage? Invisibility? Can i make poisons?


Don't worry! Actual graphical UI and all the fancy stuff!

hi everyone

Light related and clerical spells, just be creative and go with it and the worst I can say is no.


The screams and whimpers grow louder up ahead. A few woodland creatures retreat at your approach, heading towards a small cottage in the woods. Two NLR guards stand outfront of it keeping watch. Roll a D20 for stealth difficulty 12


Whatever you can come up with, whatever I'll allow, and most importantly, whatever the dice will allow. Sure. Sure. No. Sure.

My balls feel like a plastic wrap.

Rolled 10 (1d20)
Do you want to cum inside Empress Celestia yet?

Hi mod! We're playing pony DnD, apparently. Join us!

Heya


You could take over as Rarity

Rolled 16 (1d20)
no, not yet.


okay.

Do I roll too, or am I far enough away?

What's good nigga?

Rolled 14 (1d20)
Rolling stealth


Also rolling to unwrap this guys' balls

s-shut up

Rolled 2 (1d20)not much my pham.

I like it better.

removing tripcode, going to namefag
nice tracer

Depends on whether Wezdor bothers to tell your character what he just saw, since he's running point.


Awesome. Choose a pony to play and then roll a d10 for your HP


Which he doesnt. Your stealth check succeeds. But since you didnt bother to warn Solaire in any way, he walks right up beside you. Being a cleric and ergo having no stealth, he has alerted the two guards to your position and they are rapidly approaching.

okay uh…
idk give me the blue one

The guards have a supply of porcupines given to them by Fluttershy for just this occasion and throw a porucpine at each of you. You can roll to dodge or whatever you want to do. More screams eminate from the hut as Rarity is tortured and mutilated in horrific ways you can't even conceive of.

Rolled 9 (1d20)
Ah shit, i didn't know i have to do that already.

I use mage hands on the guards to tap them on their shoulders, to provide a distraction.

Rainbow Dash it shall be! You have been sent on a reconaisance mission above the everfree forest to seek out Zebras who are plotting against Empress Celestia. Below you, you can hear twigs snap, shouts, and the sound of a battle beginning. What do you do?

Rolled 15 (1d20)
"You dare lead me into this ambush!"
Solaire jumps away from Wezdor while trying to dodge the porcupines.

Rolled 10 (1d10)
King Sombra :^)

Rolled 19 (1d20)
Also, i'd like to dodge the needle hamsters. Rolling to dodge

Rolled 3 (1d10)
That, sir, is the same roll as a nat 20.
King Sombra wins.

Fly around in circles.

PANIC

Never try to use logic against someone who believes that the US is still owned by the British Crown. It will go right over their heads.

oohkay, yeah I'll give it a go.

hey have you ever played board game online before?

Hey guys, check this out.

do you watch anime?

I didn't. I missed it the last time you guys were playing, i was busy :c

Rolled 3, 3 = 6 (2d4)
(What do you think a rogue or scout is supposed to do? Be a douche, true, and you're doing ok with that.)


The guards are lightly tapped on the shoulder. It distracts them from throwing porcupines at you for precisely no time at all.


You dodge the fuck out of those porcupines and leave Wezdor to his gruesome spikey fate!


Your attempt to doge porcupines while casting a spell fails. You are hit by both porcupines doing 2D4 damage and if either of them is a 4, yopu'll have a porcupine stuck to you, giving you a penalty on future movement.


You manage to circle and panic. Well done!


Ok, you're Sombra and you have 23 HP. What do you want to do?

I watch so much anime its not even funny.

Rolled 8 (1d10)
(are we doing actual character-building and picking actual spells,classes,ideals,etc or what? I just got home from work and saw people rolling so I jumped in.)

Rolled 12 (1d20)
Solaire charges towards the guards, shooting a bright flash of light in front of them in an attempt to daze them.

(how was a 19 not enough to dodge that, though?)

Rolled 3 (1d20)
Multiple actions at once causes penalties

I don't know what I should be feeling…

Alright, let's join the Zebras in their evil plot as a double agent.

I didn't know that. And i was still doing my old action when he queued up a new one

Rolled 18 (1d20)
Why did my dice stop working.

Gross. You need to stop. Cease that at once. Anime is trash and you should feel bad.

Am i still alive even to do any actions? My HP was 3, wasn't it?

(? What rules are we playing by? Most-times combat is done so that each turn you get your movement and then your action (and sometimes a bonus action which is something simple))

Rolled 9 (1d20)

I'll stop when anime stops being smug.

Rolled 11 (1d20)
A sorta freeform D&D, it seems.

Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d4)
its a very loose RP. But I need to know what you intend to do as Sombra before I can OK you to play him. I'd much prefer a Solar Empire supporter character. These guys need all the help they can get. One of them's dead, one's being tortured, and one of them's being mauled by woodland creatures.


One of the guards is dazed and loses a turn. The other slings a porcupine at you

Thank you Solaire.


Your 18 is good enough to find the zebra village. You can try to land there and use diplomacy, bluff, or whatever to convince them you're coming over to their side.


There are no rules, but I'd prefer to keep it to one action and one movement during combat, that sounds reasonable.

Problem is, we're posting in desync due to the nature of the board. So i think we have some different rules, to account for that.

Rolled 4, 4 = 8 (2d4)
My main problem there was that you saw my post with the porcupine throwing, and replied to it with a spell, then you saw Solaire dodging them, and decided you'd dodge too.

I'm back, what did I miss?

Rolled 7 (1d20)
Give the zebras jetpacks so we can fly together.

Rolled 13 (1d20)
Solaire attempts to dodge the porcupine launched at him.

I have a really slow board refresh / post rate, so i'm about a minute behind on all posts due to laggy browser. Your post showed up only after i posted, sorry!

Also,

Rolled 1 (1d20)
3 plus like 10

dice rolls.

Rolled 12 (1d20)
never

Rolled 15 (1d20)
Oooooh.

In that case, i pull out my dagger and attempt to move behind the guard that is stunned.

Rolled 4 (1d20)Guys let's just take turns posting, let's establish initiative scores for each player so we can determine the order.

Roll d20 por favor

Rolled 12 (1d20)

Rolled 9 (1d20)
I think this is a great idea. Rolling

Rolled 18 (1d20)
Roll 3 D20 will saves versus fluttershy torture. If any of them are less than a 15 Fluttershy has broken your will and can force you to reveal what's going on.


You offer the zebras jetpacks. They have no idea what those are, but they DO know that Pegasi serve Celestia. They charge at you in an effort to take you captive. Roll against zebra assault.


rolling for the guard against your dodge.


Ah alright.


Your HP was 13, a D10 plus 10. You're at 7 HP now and can take an action, but do it quick. One of the guards is stunned and another is fighting Solaire

Moved to chrome, see if this laggs less

Action:

Rolled 15, 4, 3 = 22 (3d20)
Cool

Rolled 6 (1d20)
You get behind the stunned guard, and you now have an attack of opportunity on him. Well done.


Thats fine. We only have like 2 characters in one spot fighting. I think I can handle this. Now, again, what do you want to do as Sombra?

Rolled 4 (1d20)

Wait for the guards to get distracted and try to escape.

Rolled 1 (1d4)

The porcupine hits doin 1d4 minus 1 damage. Due to your armor it cant stick in you so youre safe even if rolls a 4

Rolled 4 (1d20)
Attempt to backstab the guard, aiming for a crippling blow to the spine

Rolled 15 (1d20)


Dm says nevermind, so nevermind, I guess

Rolled 9 (1d20)
Solaire shrugs off the porcupine, rushing at the guard which threw it, slashing away with his sword.

Rolled 12 (1d20)(chrome is a lot less laggy! Yay, fuck Furryfox)

Rolled 9 (1d20)
this tbh fam

Rolled 4, 5 = 9 (2d8)
The zebra guards are locked on to you since you made a big scene talking about rocket packs. Its highly unlikely they'll get distracted. They pummel you doing 1D8 damage and clap you in irons. You are now a prisoner of the zebra nation!


Your attack hits, but its not going to be critical. The second D8 is the damage you do to him. If its an 8, he goes down.

Also, congrats, thats the first time one of you has done damage to an enemy! Huzzah!

Rolled 5 (1d20)
Yeah, but firefox can handle my 600 tabs without killing my PC

And where ever did (You) Reece go to?

chromium*


(changed my mind about playing, since you're right, sombra a shit for this.)

I still get a movement action after combat? I'd like to sidestep a bit, but not far enough to give him an attack of opportunity

Rolled 15 (1d20)
'Gah! Porcupines have no effect! But I must fight on! MY LIFE FOR LUNA!" He cries, charging at you with his own sword trying to block your blow.

Rolled 5 (1d20)
"What do you want Fluttershy, I'll tell you anything, just stop"

(*cough* pussy *cough*)

Rolled 5 (1d20)
You step out from behind the guard, who wirls around swinging an axe at you.


Would you like to play a character that might fit into the game then?

Rolled 9 (1d20)
Solaire's strikes are blocked by the guard's own sword.
Roll is dodge roll for the attack the guard will throw at him

Rolled 5 (1d20)
According to my dice roll

Fluttershy has broken my will

Rolled 5 (1d20)
Fluttershy lears down at you, a pair of scissors in her hand as she cuts your mane and tail up, ruining your coiffure. As she ses your spirit break, she finally stops.

"Tell me what your orders were!" She demands.

Rolled 5 (1d20)
In case the axe is within striking range, i'd like to dodge the blow by rolling back behind the guard's back.

It's been so long since I've actually sat and watched the show that I wouldn't know who

Rolled 16 (1d20)
I'm just teasing you, m8 :3

Rolled 7 (1d20)
Scout the area! It was just a simple mission!

Rolled 6 (1d20)
I think I remember the jetpacks being left on outside. A fire might break out.

Rolled 16 (1d20)Can I give up movement to do a spell and an attack?

Rolled 17 (1d20)
The guard mightily swings his sword at you, recognizing your armor.

"Ah you are one of Celestia's clerics! If I can slay you, Lady Luna will reward me with great honor, and I will have struck a blow for the freedom of all ponies!"

He swings his sword at you in a high arc, dealing d6 damage -1 if it hits

tfw over 80% of this bread has been nothing but literal dice rolls

Rolled 20 (1d20)

Rolled 20 (1d20)
Natural 20! Reece has to join in

Rolled 16 (1d20)

OH SHIT SON

Rolled 19 (1d20)

Rolled 7 (1d20)
what's with ?

nice foals?

shush

Rolled 18 (1d20)
okidoodle


(a 5 and a 5… hmmm)
You dodge most of the strike, but it knicks you doing 1 damage. You're not at below half HP and not feeling terribly well, all rolls will suffer a penalty unti lyou're healed. You are unable to get behind the guard again.


Fluttershy is clearly displeased by such a vague answcer and slaps you across the face, drawing blood from your lip. "I'd really like it if you told me everything please… Otherwise I might have to cut your ear off and that'd just be awful… W…would it be ok with you if I cut your ear off?" She asked as she positions the shears with your ear between the blades, obviously expecting a full and clear answer.


You can try but there'll be a penalty.


The zebras gag you.

Rolled 12 (1d20)
Waiting on that damage roll.

What's the penalty? So i can put it in the modifier field?

Rolled 13 (1d20)
I probably shouldn't have fucked with the zebras.

Enjoy the gagging until someone comes to help me.

Rolled 5 (1d6)

rolling for damage since his sword hit you

sure why not

Rolled 4 (1d6)
just -1


A zebra comes in and molests you a little while youre tied up and gagged. Roll for enjoyment.

Rolled 7 (1d20)
Solaire grits from the blow. 10/14 HP

"Freedom, you call this!? You are only causing chaos!"

Solaire shouts as he tries to slash back at the guard.

rolling for enjoyment

Rolled 8 (1d20)
oops
at least i got dubs tho

Rolled 17 (1d20)
failure

Rolled 15 (1d20)
I attack the guard with my dagger.

Rolled 7 (1d20)
We were to accompany a team of soldiers to look for your hidden Everfree base. We had reason to believe you were recruiting zebras in the jungle to learn of their magic, that's the truth just please let me go

Forgot modifier :c sorry DM!

Rolled 6, 1 = 7 (2d20)
"The tyranny of the sun queen must be ended! We need a government that can represent all ponies. You could join us!" He entreated. Your 7 probably doesnt hit, but either way, he's going to try to kick you in the stomach for D4 damage -1

First roll is block/dodge, second is attack

oh wow. that guard

Rolled 2 (1d4)roll for damage

Rolled 3 (1d4)Roll for dodge.

He watches his blade connect to the guard.

"Join you, I'd rather throw myself into the sun!"

Rolled 12 (1d20)
kms, wrong dice

hot

I'm available for friendship fyi

Rolled 12, 2 = 14 (2d20)


What Solaire said.


Your attack hits dealing D4 damage and, ya know what? The guard is fucked. He's wounded and tries to retreat into the hut. You can pursue him or try to help Solaire.


Fluttershy smirks in victory as she feeds her bunny a carrot. "Ah. So our intelligence was right. She's planning to attack those poor widdle zebras. I'd better go alert the council to this! Thanks for being a good little pony." She blows you a kiss and goes out the door, leaving you alone. There is noise from outside though.

Rolled 10, 16 = 26 (2d20)
The guard not only gets stabbed, but he also falls face first as he tries to kick you, giving you an attack of opportunity. If you roll reasonably well, your attack will hit and finish him off.

Rolled 16 (1d20)
There's probably more guards inside, reinforcements are bad. I lunge myself at the guard, attempting to finish him off

Rolled 17 (1d20)
I attempt to shimmy out of the ropes

Here's a pic for reece

Rolled 15 (1d20)
AoO

Solaire takes his chance to at the fallen pony, swinging down his blade.

"I have Celestia's favor on my side!"

chance at*

Could one of you gay friendship loving idiots help this fucked up freak? I mean you guys are usually into gay shit so you should get along with him.

Just look at the weird video this guy made, he is basically crying for help.

You manage to catch the guard, but just as you do the door of the cottage blows open in a flurry of yellow and pink, knocking you back. Fluttershy flaps along off, dragging the injured guard into the sky with her.


Roll one more time. If its a 16 or higher you can get free. Youve been stomped on and tortured, so I'm applying a penalty.

Wait, was I supposed to roll damage.

fine roll ur stupid dice I don't need u anyway

Hes fucking wrecked, and you guys finally have a victory under your belt. It seems some of your foes have escaped, but there may be more inside the cottage.

Rolled 1 (1d20)
Roll for glory

not needed, he's rekt.

Rolled 14 (1d20)
fucking son of a bitch tit anal cream

Rolled 7 - 1 (1d20)
k


I throw a dagger at the guard in the sky.

Rolled 5 (1d20)
I'd like to attempt to roll to heal some health if possible.

you fail, even in victory

Rolled 1 (1d20)
Can I gnaw the ropes?

You somehow pull a muscle and, after failing while unconscious, you fail while strapped down to a table. You lose another point of HP and you can lay there and wait for rescue or death.

Rolled 2 (1d20)
Can you?

You are now missing a dagger.

hahaha

You lose a tooth and are now bleeding even more

You said i had several, thought, right?


HAHA

I'm giving you a bonus for doing something sensible. You're back at 14 HP, full health. You can hear someone moaning in pain inside the cottage.

Yeah, I'd say 4, so you're now down to 3 daggers.

Rolled 20 (1d20)
I call a guard

That's weird my dude. But honestly I don't have the time nor energy to help him. Sorry

Can i still see Fluttershy? If so, i check my stolen compass to see the direction she is flying in. Might be useful for later

Rolled 2 (1d20)
Roll if needed

Rolled 15 (1d20)
Thank you.

Solaire approaches the door slowly, trying to quietly push the door open.

despite your natural 20, your attempt to summon a guard fails, since they're all gone. The ponies outside can hear you though.


She is heading West, towards territory controlled by rebel forces. Good idea though! Also, while you do that, you hear Rarity screaming for a guard

are those teets legal, mang?

You can open the door at whatever speed you want, but when its all the way open, you see Rarity tied to a table. She is bleeding from her mouth, a broken tooth lying on her chest or whatever ponies have that's like their chest. She has been beaten, her hair is matted and dirty, and she smells of stagnant water and blood.

Rolled 15 (1d20)
Attempt 2 at shimmying out: commence

Rolled 6 (1d20)
No, but these teats are

I rejoin Solaire, but stay a bit behind him, since he might still be a little angry about the whole accidental ambush thing. Woops!

also she's trying to shimmy free and failing

You see the same thing Solaire does

Solaire rushes to Rarity, cutting her loose with his sword.

"What did they do to you?"

Rolled 6 (1d20)
"They broke me darling, they broke me"

Rolled 3 - 1 (1d20)

"You're the cleric, you deal with that. I'll resecure the perimeter. "

I walk back outside and roll an awareness check for any other ponies. Or porcupines. Those were thrown around before, a lot.

brb

You let the Cleric wander into the evil torture pegasus' hide out and start cutting ropes. You get a sticker!


Roll D20 against something.


Also roll D20 against something.


Roll D20 against something

I check what's affecting my horn

Rolled 2 (1d20)

Gonna roll for this instead

Rolled 14 - 1 (1d20)rolling.


sticker?

Rolled 15 - 1 (1d20)Solaire afk, wait for him to return. Why am i collecting stickers, again?

Oh thats a good idea. Itd be stupid to do what the DM says, after all. You go ahead and mess with the thing on your horn instead of rolling against the trap Solaire just sprung.

You touch the thing on your horn. Its a ring, and its on your horn.

Meanwhile, since Solaire cut the ropes free without checking how you were secured or looking around much, the severed ropes fly away, as does a panel in the table, under which were a dozen snakes.

Since Scotch couldnt be arsed to roll, he gets bitten for 4 damage


You don't get bitten by any of the trap snakes, but you should still feel bad.

What's a sticker? :c

Rolled 18 (1d20)
I though you missed that Solaire already cut me free

is there like a.. legal age of consent for horses or what

if there isn't, why isn't there?

What do you think sprung the trap?

I doubt it. I mean, I hope not.

Cmon, tell me

I think youre over the age of consent for a horse, skitty.


You get a sticker that says "I didnt bother to check for traps when walking into the evil hideout and now the cleric and spellcaster are covered in snakes"

Rolled 4 (1d20)
I reach for Solaire out of the pit

Rolled 15 (1d20)
I mean't Wez

You never said they were venomous snakes. Are they pythons? those aren't venomous and can be safely booped.


wait for cleric to get back from afk, then we do more actions.

You reach over to pull Wez for some reason even though he's fine.


Roll to dodge Rarity grabbing you and pulling you into the snakepile

Yo, i'm still outside. Unless he has the longest arm in the world, i'm out of reach

feel free to boop all the snakes you want

Does that take an action?

"Wez, I Solaire and I need you right now!"

...

wat

mah zebra
life is just a hunt for quality foal tang, am i rite boys?

probably just as well.


Nope, you can boop the snakes that are killing you and Solaire all you like = )

Wait, are we all in the snake pit?

Rolled 20 - 1 (1d20)Ignoring the poor afk Solaire's chances to roll…


I peer back into the hut, hearing commotion inside. "What's going on in here? And how do you know my name?" Upon seeing the snakes, i look around to see if there are any long sticks or other reach weapons nearby. I make sure the snakes don't get too close.

Nat 20! The snakes are afraid of my boops and thus are now my minions. I am snake lord.

Rolled 12 - 1 (1d20)
Snek.

Rolled 13 (1d20)
Sorry, back now

theres no pit. the snakes were released from under the table when Solaire cut the ropes.


Alright alrightslow down lets wait for Solaire

You were here since the start right?

I was outside, securing the door. And no, i came into the game at a later time, as a scout in the forest

Rolled 15 (1d20)
That would explain a lot. Well I run outside to where there are no snakes, making sure to discard any on my pony


I wasn't here for your part of the story then

Rolled 15 - 1 (1d20)
Snek.

Charming. you run away leaving your rescuer to be consumed by the full fury of a dozen snakes.

literally what is wrong with you two?

Roll against snakes 1 d20

I own a pomegranate tree?

Is that interesting? Does that make me interesting..?

I am snek lord. Nothing wrong with that. Snek.

Rolled 15 (1d20)
Can I do a lightning spell to fry the snakes?

DUDE THE SNAKES ARE LITERALY OURS NOW DONT FRY THEM. Snek

no & no

Rolled 9 (1d20)
I'm in sort of a panic right now and if a tortured pony with missing teeth can run out, I figured he can too. I test the ring to see if taking it off will yield a negative affect

No.


You roll a 15 and the snakes somehow dont bite you a lot, but you take 2 points of damage just because there are twelve of them and everyone else has abandoned you. Roll a d20 to try to do your lightening spell

Rolled 9 (1d20)
12/14 HP

Rolled 9 - 1 (1d20)
Wow rude. I Also cast chain lightning on the snakes. If 20, i am snek lord.

You manage to get the ring off and can do magic again, but til you're healed by the guy you left to be raped to death by snakes, you're going to suffer a -2 penalty to all rolls.

Jesus christ Wez….


You lightning on the snakes. And then another bolt of lightning comes in and hits you for 3 damage. Fortunately, any snakes you didnt kill are killed by the chain lightning that Wez just shot at you and the snakepile, because he is a genius.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

"Good heavens Solaire, I am most gracious that you have come to my aid, and thank you, umm…?
"

We did it, reddit!

Rolled 13 (1d20)
9/14 HP
Solaire winches as the electricity flows through his body, shaking it off as the urge to assist the hurt mare comes to his mind. He makes his way to Rarity and tends to her wounds before starting on his own.

"Wezdor. Former snek lord, if only for a moment. Pleasure to meet you"

Wait, did my armor shake off one point of damage?

You look at Solaire, covered in dead, smoking snakes and crackling with electricity from Wezdor's spell. It occurs to you that you are both terrible people, and you take a -1 morale penalty in whatever actions you do next.


True to your paladin ways, your concern for your fellow Solar Empire citizens leads you to heal Rarity to 10 HP from 4. A beam of sun falls on your face with a warm caress, and you feel recharged and empowered. You gain a plus 1 to damage and your HP max is now 17 (level up)

Rolled 8 (1d20)

"Do you have any aid? I am very weak"

Morality or not, i got a killing blow on those sneks. Where's our XP?

"Woops. Sorry about that"

Rolled 11 (1d20)
I need to do something and I won't be here for the rest of the day, see you guys later, hopefully we can continue this

Awww. It's 3.30 am here as well, i can continue this, but we can also call it a day. What's the vote, guys?

have fun! Thanks for playin!


You have gained experience in not searching for traps, stealing from party members, and electrocuting the cleric. But fine. As experience, you gain 1 point in Knowledge: Animal Husbandry: Snake

I think DM is using a when he feels like it level up system. XP in traditional D&D can be rewarded for kills, solving conflicts, performing amazing feats, and properly rping. Proper RP includes stuff like being serious and true to the personality of the character that you have formed.

I say this is a good stopping point.

Yeeeesssss. Snek lord, here i come!

Also Scotch gets experience in freaky bondage shit and Quentin Tarantino-esque torture. As well as a lot of experience in wandering off alone without telling anyone and squirming in ropes.

It's the early morning hours, i'm cracking up too much about the silly stuff to play seriously, sorry :p When i'm more rested we can do this more properly

Gnight Wez, thanks for playing!

All useful things!


Lets face it, i did more with that compass than the cleric did c:

Thanks for DMing man! I don't know about you guys, but this was tons of fun. Even if DM stacked the deck against me :D

I stacked the deck against people being dumb or horrible. Solaire got a level because he's the only reaso neveryone isnt dead

It's more than just a weird, that is shit next level fucked up shit. The way he talks, how he talks about his shit. That guy is really fucked up.

I feel sad for his parents, must be killing them to know that their son is such a nigger.

Well played, Solaire!

Sleep well.

Thank you.

I still think i should be made snek lord for that nat 20. Anyway, you think we can pick this up tomorrow? Here is snek for good night

compooter snek! Sure if im up to it we can continue tomorrow

That looks like a very uncomfortable and dangerous location for a snake. There are many sharp phallic like objects there.

bad-snake-owner/10

Do it filly!

Do it filly!

He did it himself, if he gets hurt, it's his own damn fault. I just make sure he isn't electrocuted unlike our cleric

topkek


Did you haz a fun?

dude you have a bunch of hair all over your rug, clean that wtf

That's where doggo usually comes to sleep under my feet. I vacuum it every so often

we'll need a new thread soon.

Yeah, I enjoyed it.

Make bread for us, Leader, so that we migh shitpost.


Im glad, you were definitely on point for most of the game, gotta give you props

k

Thank you. I've had some experience with RP in the past, though I'm still learning.

NEW THREAD

but let's cap this one.

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Rolled 20 (1d20)

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dicks

fgdsf

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Rolled 17 (1d20)

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Rolled 20 (1d20)

...

...

...

Rolled 1 (1d20)

...

thats a little weird

...

Rolled 6 (1d20)

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