Funny bethesda game stories

and thats the story of the great riften massacre of 201 4E

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this thread was just on Holla Forums

yeah i posted it and then some faggot derailed it
so i deleted it and reposted here

Thanks Todd Howard

my story also involves riften

it just works -todd howard

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well there's always the standard catapult-into-air when hit by a giant

The Rules:

1) level conjuration, let other people/creatures fight for you, I'm to precious and delicate to dirty myself

2) level Illusion, drive everybody around me fucking crazy and have people fight each other and divert attention from bullshittery I'm doing

additional small rules like
- always run away from spider, never fight them (cause she's piss scared of em IRL)

feels fucking good man.

next playthrough I'm going to play a strong independent nord women. basic clothes and just run around villages and cities fucking up people's shops and stalls, avoiding eye contact, have most flashy hair available etc.

lol screencapping

oh wait, you're a fetcher that would cry when people told you that skyrim wasn't the best game ever, carry on, we don't want you

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nah skyrim was pretty shit
i just wanted to discuss funny stories of bethesda games not being finished

> 8ch.net/tes/res/2762.html

You're welcome

The Rules:

1) level conjuration, let other people/creatures fight for you, I'm to precious and delicate to dirty myself

2) level Illusion, drive everybody around me fucking crazy and have people fight each other and divert attention from bullshittery I'm doing

additional small rules like

- always run away from spider, never fight them (cause she's piss scared of em IRL)

feels fucking good man.

next playthrough I'm going to play a strong independent nord women. basic clothes and just run around villages and cities fucking up people's shops and stalls, avoiding eye contact, have most flashy hair available etc.

You need a better girlfriend.

The people who throw things like expensive post secondary studies on the back burner for someone they're dating are not generally the people you want to be dating.

exactly. I completely understand that she wants to focus on that stuff and when her exams are over she's got vacation and we can make up for lost time. but it still sucks.

I was just playing TTW and stopped outside of Craterside Supply to wait until morning (12 hours), and Billy Creel was just mid-gulp of some water outside.
Rather than vanishing like I'm used to when waiting in NV, he chugged that shit for twelve hours straight then gave me a friendly greeting.

probably because skyrim sucks and you are not funny.

Honestly, we were just talking about it on Holla Forums, no idea how you can enjoy that shit game. There is just nothing to do in that game. Might as well play a walking sim or some other sandbox game with nothing to do in it.

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This is why no one likes Holla Forums, you just autistically repeat the same hipster opinions. If it's popular, high budget, is easy on the default difficulty, and is easily moddable, you'll fucking hate it, but if it's some obscure shit that's next to unplayable you'll dote on it forever because it wasn't made by muh ebil capitalists.

At the same time hardly any of you could even manage to install Ubuntu, yet you trendfag right along as if you're le epick FLOSS freedom fighter xtreem pirate hacker roflmaoxd

I bet none of you have even played Chip's Challenge either.

So now you want your columnar gameplay experience back after spending the last five years lambasting it? Open worlds, quests, subplots, dungeons, game content OUT, RPG-on-rails in? Holla Forums is such a hypocritical circlejerk.

this

yet it is the most popular board currently.


and you are basically like a redditor. You don't understand why some of us hate certain things and you just assume that it is due to popularity.


How exactly is skyrim a easy to mod game? Half of the mods don't work together well, you constantly have to install other tools to make some mods work. Modding is very limited and some mods can mess up your base game.

idk what makes you think skyrim is a easy to mod game. Left 4 Dead 2 is easy to mod. You literally drop your mod into the mod folder and your done. And if that is to hard for you, you just double click it.


Holla Forums is not one person. You go into one thread and people will praise SFV and in another thread they will totally shit on it, for example.

Holla Forums generally hates halo, but if there is a halo thread people leave them alone and the few people that like it can go in there to talk about it.

But let's put that aside. What the fuck do you do in Skyrim? I gave the game a fair chance and found it just retarded. You can't build cool unique characters like in POE, combat is lame (chivalry:mw and dw are doing it better) and all the npc's are boring as hell, expect for serana.

well yeah dickhead, it's not a life simulator. you go in a chill for an hour or two exploring, killig shit, then you go on with your life.

this is no surrogate for real life, you cunt.
you expect to get your daily dose of life experience and wisdom from a game? fuck off

and how exactly is this shit fun? Other not challenging games like Assassin's Creed at least have a somewhat interesting story, this game has non of it.

You literally just click on a enemy until it dies. It's not like chivalry in which you dodge enemy hits and shit like that.


I am expecting a challenge or something interesting to do. Skyrim offers non of that. There are no mechanics to be mastered. There is nothing interesting to be discovered.

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Skyrim is among the most modded games there are. there are countless gameplay mods fixing the game mechanics.
Game mechanics have to be kept simple so that Americans understand them in the original game after all.

There is still not a mod that makes magic good, also why trying to fix a broken mess when you can just entirely avoid it?

fuck off

Several. I used apocalypse. The unofficial patches plus apocalypse and for instance SkyRe as a total overhaul mod and you have a completely different and enjoyable game. I wouldn't play the vanilla version at all anymore.

ffs, either make proper arguments or don't speak to me at all. This is why I use Holla Forums and Holla Forums over Holla Forums. They at least talk like normal human beings instead of shitting on their keyboard.


Skyrim is not just "sometimes" bad. It is entirely broken.

That's like buying a totally trashed car and then trying to fix it instead of getting a car that is not shit. You sometimes end up paying more to fix a shit car than it would cost you to get a new one.

It was a chore, and I only did it so I could tell you how much of a chore it was.

Skyrim is among the most modded games there are. there are countless gameplay mods fixing the game mechanics.
Game mechanics have to be kept simple so that Americans understand them in the original game after all.
Bring up the ol' Ameritard card again because you can't think of an actual reason that skyrim is broken and bad. The actual reason skyrim is bad is not because
it's because they want your money and don't care enough to fix their game because they know the community will do it for them. Just like how Fallout 4 is a linear piece of shit with outdated graphics and an uninteresting story line. Bethesda has been coasting on their community since FO3

Go shadowban yourself, retard.

Wait. You can't mod literally the very fucking easiest game ever to mod? There are what, four different mod managers made basically just for this game, load order managers, the fucking works.

No, no it fucking isn't, modding is enormous in Skyrim. Are you a console gamer or just retarded in general? Are you too stupid to set up MO? Did SKSE scare you? Skyrim is so easy to mod that you can easily run 50 or more mid-weight mods on a low-end computer along with the base game. Are you too stupid to look at ratings for mods? Is checking or unchecking a box difficult for you? Does the concept of incremental testing frighten you away? How can you be this fucking incompetent, seriously? I hope Trainwiz comes to you at night and slaps the shit out of you.

Kill yourself, retard.

So why the FUCK did you come here, to Holla Forums, to post in a Holla Forums thread how mad you are that there's a Skyrim thread here. How could you be so stupid?

First of all, it's not a dollhouse simulator, it's an RPG.
Second of all, it includes an unusually high level of character customization for an RPG or even for the TES series itself.
Thirdly, there are over9000 mods that let you make your specific autism waifu or add in new races, asset packs, the works, for any look you want from creepy semi-realism to weeb shit.
Add on to that the way you can change the way the entire game world looks on a whim at an engine level via ENB, and if you're too stupid or lazy to edit an ini file, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO, because lots of autists are making gorgeous ENB presets that will work perfectly for you so long as you have the GPU to handle them.

Combat changes as you level. You don't start out at level 1 able to do a billion special snowflake moves. You would know this if you had actually played the game for more than ten minutes. If you're not a retarded console babby, you can even mod combat, and oftentimes multiple combat overhauls work together incidentally or by complex collaboration between mod authors.

"Buh-but how do I know what mods are compatible?"
Gee, I don't know, you could fucking test them, especially given that MO's directory virtualization makes it entirely impossible to fuck up your install in any way, so you don't even have to think, you can literally just check and uncheck things and drool like a retard.
Or hey, even better, you could fucking read the mod description which will 90% of the time, for any mod with more than 30 downloads or which does anything remotely appealing, tell you exactly which of the popular mods the mod being described is compatible with, incompatible with, or a complement of.
Hell, failing that (very unlikely case), you could even read a forum post or heaven forbid rub your two neurons together to think:
"Hmm, based on the descriptions of what these mods change, I sure do wonder if they touch overlapping assets".

The same thing you do in every fucking RPG since the beginning of time. Fight things, explore areas, collect trade and craft items, do quests, talk to people, fight bosses. What the fuck else did you want to do in a fucking open-world RPG? If you're seriously too stupid to figure that out, just blindly follow the main quest markers through to completion and then uninstall and burn your PC and buy an eksbawks.

MUH SPESHUL SNOFLAEK VAMPUIRE WAIFU
You 13?

So here's the reason you actually dislike Skyrim:
When it came out, fans of the series were disappointed that the stats and skills had been simplified, and thought the health regen was cheesy (it was). Rather than install the almost immediately available and seamless mods restoring stats and skills (and items) to the way they were in Oblivion and Morrowind, they sperged out endless on Holla Forums and it became part of Holla Forums lore to hate Skyrim. Hence a retard like you trying too hard to fit in while complaining about things which are the entire point of the series and the genre.

Skyrim isn't a brawler you dumb cunt, it's an RPG. It's also not linear like Assassin's Creed, meaning instead of a one-dimensional story you pick up the story and the setting by talking to people and *gasp* reading, as well as doing quests. It's also the fifth game in a series famous for its voluminous lore even amongst RPGs. For over a year /tes/ had constant lore threads and no two alike, the Elder Scrolls series has more and better story, both inside and outside of the games themselves, than probably any other video game franchise ever made. You're just too stupid to notice it because it wasn't spoonfed to you as a 300-word summary as you first stepped outside.

No, not if you steadfastly swing a sword around and staunchly ignore 99% of the game's countent and functionality.


Can you Europeans please contain your monotonous inferiority complexes to /int/ like you used to?


See it sounds like you got mad because you encountered a game where fireballs actually hurt you even if you're not naked.
"Holy shit guys, magic is powerful but makes the user vulnerable at the same time! OMG so fucking broken and unprecedented!"


No, you use Holla Forums and Holla Forums because they've been slowly ground down from actual topical discussion to autistic hipster bullshit.


No you didn't.


Vanilla Skyrim was buggy on release, like every Bethesda game ever. 9001 patches later, it's pretty stable and most of the release-cut content was restored. The 11/11/11 release date was retarded, but not as retarded as you.


Except see above, they did fix their game.
Though I played Skyrim right after release, vanilla, on an unremarkable computer and it suffered nearly no problems, so maybe you're just mindlessly repeating what you've heard?

How do you use your keyboard without pushing five keys at once bill?

Can you Europeans please contain your monotonous inferiority complexes to /int/ like you used to?

How witty. You've earned youself another xtra large coke with that I suppose.

Can you Europeans please contain your monotonous inferiority complexes to /int/ like you used to?

Let's see how many of those you can make before you die for Israel.

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The UK, Germany and France will not exist. Pretty much everyone else is about fine. And those tards had it coming tbh. Filthy commies

Can you Europeans please contain your monotonous inferiority complexes to /int/ like you used to?

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Your president is a nigger

Can you Europeans please contain your monotonous inferiority complexes to /int/ like you used to?

The US has the highest ration of incarcerated people per capita

I am saying that skyrim is to easy, and your argument against me is that the game was to hard for me?

This is my last try, if you guys argue like idiots again I will not post here anymore. I mean you guys are at this point just arguing against me because you hate me as a person, not because you think that my opinion is wrong.


Modding in Unreal Engine games like UT3 is enormous.

those are the easy parts, you obviously didn't install a lot of mods or you wouldn't name those as hard.


There is a lot more to modding than just those things. MO only sorts the right side of the mod list, the left side is not touched at all and requires a lot of interactions by the user like sorting. And many mods aren't event made properly in the first place and need cleaning by the user by tesedit.


And you are a brony who is into scat and gore porn? A board has a lot of users that like different things.


I wasn't talking about looks and character design, but about skill builds. You can't build complicated characters like in other games, some that depend on things like stun. Or characters that deal only a certain type of damage. For example POE allows you to do a character that deals a shitload of aoe fire damage, but you take the damage yourself too. But if you have the right items and skills you reduce the fire damage you take yourself. This coupled with lifeleech allows you to stay alive. A unique and fun build.


Without mods it's crap. Even Saints Row 2 and 1 had better customisation.


I had maxed out characters, it doesn't change much. It does not compare to games like Chivalry in which you have to do 180 spins to block certain moves, or where you can play around with the animations to gain advantages.


are you implying that characters in Skyrim are not dull? What can you tell me about that weird trader woman you meet in whiterun? What can you tell me about whiterun's jarl? These characters have no story, they are just lame and boring.

That's because I am not a part of Holla Forums. They hate it for their reasons and I hate it for mine. Holla Forums hates Borderlands 2, I don't hate it that much.


I am using those boards because the community there is just overall nicer. On Holla Forums people don't ask for more when I spam torture porn, people are actually disgusted by it. Unlike you weirdos. They also don't post off topic shit like this

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The US has the highest ration of incarcerated people per capita

stahp Europe has won I give up

will you fucking stop it nobody cares about your gay hipster opinion on a game that came out 4 years ago you killed this thread once already don't kill it a second time you fucking faggot