Harry Potter and the Cursed Child reviews: What critics are saying

archive.is/HU57s


Early reviews seem to love it


James Hibberd (Entertainment Weekly)
“Author J.K. Rowling, working with London theatre veterans Jack Thorne and John Tiffany, have delivered a production that’s as spectacular as it is ambitious, stuffed with special effects and twists that had a preview audience gasping, Cursed Child is a story that doesn’t play it safe with the Potter canon and will change how fans see certain favorite characters forever.” A-


Ben Brantley (The New York Times)
“Like the novels that preceded it, The Cursed Child is stuffed with arcana-filled plots that defy diagrams and baldly wrought sentimental life lessons, along with anguished dives into the earnest, tortured solipsism of adolescence. By rights, such a combination should try the patience of any grown-up. But like Ms. Rowling’s books, the play vanquishes resistance.”


Michael Billington (The Guardian)
“If I’m honest, I got as much pleasure from the staging as from the convoluted story. Tiffany and his designer, Christine Jones, have created magic out of the simplest ingredients. The set is dominated by Victorian gothic arches, more reminiscent of St Pancras than King’s Cross, and by the brilliant use of suitcases and portable stairways. An exciting escape on top of a moving train is evoked through a line of luggage and the estrangement of Albus and Scorpius is suggested by flights of steps that move as nimbly as Fred Astaire.” 4/5 stars


Dominic Cavendish (Telegraph)
“Well, those involved can give themselves a pat on the back. It’s a triumph. Not an unqualified one – there are some quibbles – but in all key respects, it grips, it stirs, it delights.” 5/5 stars


Jack Shepherd (Independent)
“Well, Harry Potter fans, you will be glad to know that JK Rowling, Jack Thorne, and John Tiffany have created a theatre production of immense wonder, one that is highly referential to Harry Potter stories past and is, above all, truly magical.” 5/5 stars


Matt Trueman (Variety)
“Rowling has found a neat way to revisit her original, allowing for both novelty and nostalgia. Without giving those secrets away, her plot has shades of fan-fiction to it, revealing the past anew and prodding at its possibilities.”


Leslie Felperin (The Hollywood Reporter)
“Surprisingly, it turns out that the medium of theater is a better fit for the material than film, because in a theater magic tricks really look, well, magical. No one speculates with awe these days over how filmmakers can make a boy fly on a broom, or a dementor float, or one character transform into someone else on the screen because the answer is always pretty much VFX. Yet, when this production uses a simple lighting trick to suggest a ripple in the fabric of time, or makes someone disappear in a phone box (almost literally the oldest magic trick in the book), these dusty theatrical sleights actually draw gasps and applause from the audience — perhaps not unlike the first stage audiences for Peter Pan.”

Other urls found in this thread:

harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Unlocking_Charm
media.8ch.net/pdf/src/1470092789373.pdf
g.e-hentai.org/g/960469/2b071c34c7/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

the Cursed Child is Ron and Hernigone's mongrel, right?

no clue, I'm a little curious to pick up the book though

Voldemort has a daughter.

TIME TRAVEL

adult Harry has to watch his parents die to restore the timeline

wat

it's just the play's script with hard covers

WE WUZ WIZARDS AND SHIEEET

CUCK

nobody told that guy his kid became a vampire and spawned multiple trilogies of S&M novels based on him and that movie Secretary

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1) Harry Potter is garbage
2) Of course the reviews are positive. These are the same people who said Cisbusters was good

fuck you, Rowling

this reads like shit, rowling approved this?

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so it's shit. good to know.

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JK rowling is a hack writer and her size 15 font double spaced and heavily indented books are for the lowest common denominator so they can feel good they finished a whole all by themselves. Its also a good way to further retard children and Women's minds with self destructive golbalist bolshevism.

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*book and women (lower case w)

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so Albus is a trans-Slytherin?

Beating reader over the head with victim status of being an orphan because his parents were murdered when he was an infant and can't remember them over and over and over again even after he's what 30 ?
This is pathetic and frankly is starting to sound very jewish …. Oy vey its another shoah! Remember the 6 gorillion!

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Is there something in the play that black herminoe says that tries to forever cannonize that she is black?

hardly surprising. Rowling is the english equivalent of a berniecuck

but she does know about dangerhair (Delphi is Voldemort's daughter)

"Over threw a terrorist coup attempt"?
Does anyone proof read this crap?

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what did she mean by this?

Who the fuck wrote this? And how did they manage to be worse than JK Rowling?

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wait, how can she be Voldy's daughter if she's Amos Diggory's niece?

"It's magic, I don't have to explain shit"

By the way, is Hermione really retconned as a nigger? That would be the funniest thing to happen to Harry Potter since My Immortal.

Despite the efforts of Doc Brown Harry Potter, the actions of Biff Tannen Albus and Scorpius using time travel frivilously has caused the timeline to skew to a worse reality. In this reality, George McFly Harry Potter is dead and Tannen Voldemort ultimately won, forcing the hero to revert things at any cost.

Honestly not surprising. The book series was built off a carbon copy of A New Hope, so making a Back to the Future knock-off to indulge is shallow nostalgia is exactly what I'd expect from her.

essentially.


nope, other than not being played bya a white actress and JK Rowling saying "I never said Hermione was white" to defend it.

which is pure BS, since in one of the books it's said that Hermione has visible tan lines. this would be impossible if she were black

That's racist have you not learned anything from Harry Potter?

not that I expect anyone to do this play after the initial run, but just imagine the butthurt if they did and had a white actress play Hermione now.

I learnt that the lockpicking spell was actually invented by a black wizard:

harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Unlocking_Charm

Reminder that Hermionigger makes perfect sense given how she uses the spell more than any other character in the books and is even the one who teaches harry the spell in the games.

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Don't you mean reverse Michael Jackson'd?

Does that look like it could memorize a spell and a wand gesture?
They would simply break a window just like real life.

THAT'S
MAH
BOEY

Maybe the magic word is "ooga-booga" and the wand gesture resembles a monkey throwing a hissy fit.

the fucking "harry potter is an autistic boy genius" fanfic was better than this

A jew being tight with his money to the point of wearing the same clothes for months at a time.
HA HA HA

Monkey throwing feces which would fit as jews love that kind of humor.

How can terrorists in the middle of an overthrow attempt ie the "failed coup" mentioned be overthrown?
The way this is written doesn't make sense.

speaking of jewish acts

JUST

H either knows he's a beta loser or he can't stand the feminist tramp Hermione turned into.

I expect Naruto to start doing time travel shit now because they are literally the same thing and they rip each other off constantly.

Ugh, it has a nigger in it? Fucking problematic, anti-white, anti-male shit. Cucked liberal jew agenda.

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Jesus Christ I torrented the thing. What a fucking shitshow. If you had any fond memories of Harry Potter do yourself a favor and never read this. It pisses all over the ending, ruins characters and overall reads like a really bad fanfic.

Notice the signature at the bottom of the picture.

Dear Lord, I can feel the fedora slapping me from my screen. Who the fuck writes like that?

And yet, she never said Dumbledore was gay in the books either.

Post it on >>>/pdf/.

Don't forget the numerous cover and chapter illustrations that include Hermione that show her as fair that she commissioned, reviewed, and signed off on.

Not too mention that she was directly involved in the casting of that pasty cunt Watson, who must surely be screaming into her pillow now over the fact her childhood role, the literal only substantial accomplishment she will ever make in her live and the foundation of her fortune and whatever personal relevance she still has, is being retconned and dragged off into the fray of racial identity politics horseshit, leaving her own history and career in the dust in favor of people arguing eternally over a leathery-faced negress who acts in god-fucking-damned theater.

Forgot to attach a pic.

;^)

I Went back and checked the wikipedia page. The Hermione article shows Watson again, and given fan's reactions to this abysmal script (that shits on a lot of characters they like), I'm guessing people are simply going to ignore it in the long run.

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He even talks about how Harry's son is adopting the Darkness

Beat me to the punch. Did user really think a feminist cunt like Watson would bitch and moan about that chimp being Hermione now? Imagine thr backlash if she did, of course shes gonna endorse it. Whether she's telling the truth or not is another issue.

Why would you adopt a rock band that was a thing some years back?

It's a part of the master plan.

because you believe in a thing called love?

I think he was aware that as the characters were written that they would have slowly despised each other because they were so different.

Or maybe he just thought Emma Watson was a cunt and thought Ron just jumped at the only chick who really liked him.

I don't actually disagree with Rupert Grint either. I think he was spot on.

The SJWs won, they run this place just like they run halfchan.

Let them have their in-fighting, just ignore them and stay on topic. It's really not that hard.

You already have your safespace, faggot.

>>>/leftytv/

Maybe if they didn't fucking hammer you down identity politics, politics in general and social issues constantly and in every single piece of media instead of thinly veiling it with "fun", maybe people wouldn't end up talking about it here.

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Yes, I realize that Emma is a full-on feminazi, and that, publicly, she'd be all on board with it. But do you honestly think that, in her head, she feels anything other than outrage and despair at the prospect of the only thing she's ever done that has assured positive attention and offers for herself being erased and replaced in people's memories by a media shitstorm surrounding a rat-faced chimp?

Let me guess, Scorpius and the Nigglet are love interests.

This will end up well.

What would you even call that?
A neckgoat?

Albus merely befriended the darkness. Albus thinks darkness is his ally. But Scorpius was born of it, molded by it.

Oh, I took me a while to understand what was wrong with it. "Overthrew" has a connotation of a lesser-power removing a higher power.Fuck I really need to improve my reading comprehension.

adult ginny is a bit of a milf

What? It has nothing in common with star wars.

you don't know? harry potter has the exact same plot as star wars.

The writing reminds me of the English translations of the Gagharv trilogy.

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How the hell did harry get in the timeline with a living Voldemort? How the Hell did Harry get hair from the hairless Voldemort?


But Voldemort was a Brunette and Bellatrix had black hair.


Voldemort having sex seems like a very non-Voldemort thing to do.

it ain't just a monomyth, it cuts and pastes everything

Except this shit is word for word the Monomyth. Lucas even admitted he intentionally copy/pasted the Monomyth when he wrote star wars

Harry Potter even went a step further since Philosopher's Stone ends with Harry returning to the Muggle world. Which is the whole "masters of two worlds" thing at the end of the Monomyth.

reread my post, i agreed that it's the monomyth, but harry potter is literally star wars with some words changed around.

How?

Both stories draw from the same river. I could rewrite this thing to also fit the original Fallout for instance.Or Lord of the Rings. Or hundreds of other fantasy stories that do mostly the exact same thing.

The main reason the Monomyth exists is because it's served as a very good framework to introduce people to a fantasy universe without risking alienating them. It's also why amnesia is such a common trope in fantasy and sci-fi.

also
WE WUZ WIZARDZ N SHEIT

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Time Turners, son.


A Wizard Did It, I Ain't Gotta Explain Shit.

tbh Dumbledore being gay made certain parts of his backstory make more sense. Like why he lived with another dude for so long and why he never showed any interest in chicks in his entire life.

But that didn't conflict with established cannon. Dumbledore's sexuality was irrelevant to the story being told. Hermione conflicts with established cannon in 5 ways:
1. Hermione getting a tan in one of the books.Some thing that is impossible for someone of African heritage to get.
2. Hermione turning white with fright in book 3.
3.The picture she drew in 1999 you linked too.
4. Rowling sighing off on numerous cover drawings with a white Hermione.
5.Rowling sighing off on Emma Watson a white actress for the role of Hermione in the films.

Dumbledore being gay is a retcon that enhances the established book cannon.In two ways:
1. It is likely that he ignored Grilderwald's dark side because he was quite literally in love with him.
2. Dumbledore's liking of fancy and stylish robes. A homosexual cliche that I have no doubt that Rowling is aware of.

Conclusion: you hold story's and writers to no standards.Therefore, you are a pleb.

A CRITIC OF THEATER PRODUCTIONS you uncultured swine.

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Calm down cuck. Now is not the time for despair, that comes later.

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I was going to call BS on that….but then I realize that both Aragon and frodo could kind of fit that trope.

Yeah. That's why only Holla Forumstard jump around like niggers with that. Him being a fag make more sense than him being straight


Hermione as a nig tho

Guess what there are only like 12 stories or some shit in existence, I can't remember the exact number but we haven't exactly had a lot of original ideas in history.

Luckily Trails in the Sky fared better.

Harry: Are you sure… are you really sure he's yours, Draco?
Malfoy cucked? Or was Harry just lying to make him mad? What's the story?

1) jewish family

2) designated cuckold/genetic dead end

3) evil white racist nazi privilege omg triggered

The 2 Malfoys are interesting. Just the body language; the hand on the shoulder of his kid: restraining or supporting? the looks on their faces, despondent almost fearful. the jews look confident and the 2 monkeys smug, in contrast.
And where's the mother?

They put a lot of thought into these tableaus.

Wasn't Cedric's death that made it impossible for the ministry to deny that Voldie was coming back?

no. they spent the whole next book after Cedric's death in full damage control mode

My first thought when reading this post was "why would Luna ever cheat on anyone, she's pure"

But then I did some googling around and Draco married some Astoria that I have no idea who it is

Why did I think all this time that he married Luna I have no idea

Harry Potter was pretty overrated tbh.
The whole wizard society should have collapsed pretty quickly because they cannot into accounting.
Think about it, Hermione had to take a special course to learn fucking algebra.
The magic they use seems to be nothing but a gimmick, using the same few spells that are actually pretty useless, and the books never got into the metaphysics of magic. No experimentation with new spells, only swing your wand around and mumble some Latin words you don't understand because apparently spells in Latin are no reason to actually teach Latin.
The whole "we don't need no technology"-thing was pretty bad, as well. Driving a car? No fuck that, let's fly on fucking broomsticks and freeze to death before we even arrive, and don't even mention the risk of some muggles seeing us.
Then, there's the "tech don't work in Hogwarts"-thing.
Why? What doesn't work about it? Would a car without microcomputers work?
Of course it's just handwavy bullshit so Jew Kike Rowling didn't have to think about magic integration in technology.
Truly the work of a woman.

Then every wizard is gay because every wizard likes fancy robes.

Daily reminder Rupert's the only one of them to escape with his sanity

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She isn't.

FIRST ONE TO TALK GETS TO STAY ON MY ICE CREAM TRUCK

you reckon the freezer unit is full of little kids?

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What's the name of the spell that turned Hermione into a nigger?

Nuffinus Dindulus?

I dunno user, that sounds like fun and a masterful technique for trolling little brats.

What kids talk like this?
Why do they read like Holmes and Watson?

How the fuck can Amos,who worked in the Ministry,don't know about the Time-Turner when they fucking gave one to Hermione,a student, and there was like a chamber full of them in the Ministry?

anytime you have a question like this, the answer is: Rowling is a hack

Rowling didn't actually write the play. They say she wrote the "story" but how much fo that was her and the other two guys is unknown. In small print on the cover it says that "Jack Throne" actually wrote the play.

I'm guessing Rowling did basically fuck all and they're just using her name for advertising purposes. I mean, she has to play nice because this shit still pays her an obscene amount of money, but I'm betting she did almost nothing for this on the whole.

Am I the only one who thinks the lore of "Wizards are in hiding bc they don't want to have muggles make them use magic to solve their problems" is a bs coverup?
If muggles were weaker then the wizards would have been ruling the world and muggles would be in hiding. What probably happened was that there was a war,and the wizards lost (Because flying brooms didn't stand up to AA guns and wands don't have the range of sniper rifles)

That's the prequel I want to read. Wizards lost, Voldemort wants revenge (oh look, now he has a legit motive).

This shitty halfassed fanfiction already better than entire series or what?

Am I the only one who thinks the lore of "Wizards are in hiding bc they don't want to have muggles make them use magic to solve their problems" is a bs coverup?
If muggles were weaker then the wizards would have been ruling the world and muggles would be in hiding. What probably happened was that there was a war,and the wizards lost (Because flying brooms didn't stand up to AA guns and wands don't have the range of sniper rifles)

That's the prequel I want to read. Wizards lost, Voldemort wants revenge (oh look, now he has a legit motive).

This shitty halfassed fanfiction already better than entire series or what?

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AVADA KEDAVRA

Remember the flying car? If I was an evil wizard I would be making enchanted guns and sentient flying bombs. But evil wizards in Harry Potter would never think of doing such things because they're all "racist" and willfully ignorant of muggle tech.

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Just saying what's on the fucking cover.

To be fair, Voldemort and his cronies do have a point.

The "magic gene" is recessive (Rowling said so), and we've already seen that leftist dykes such as Hermione do what their Marxist cult commands them to, undermine whatever society they infest and try to pry it open from within to champion more "diversity" flooding in, thus destroying any semblance of unique culture and traditions any civilization might have.

JUST AVADA KEDAVRA MY FAMILY UP

>>>/pdf/402
media.8ch.net/pdf/src/1470092789373.pdf

She didn't make her explicitly a nigger in the new book just to show them all, did she?

It isn't mentioned in the book. It is explicit that the young Hermione and her daughter should be played by the same person, which makes the choice a bit odd.

It's not a new book. It's literally just the script of the play in hard-cover and as I said Rowling didn't even write it:


I actually like what she did with Hermione's "activism" in the books. It's primarily treated as a joke that no one takes seriously. Even the one house elf she likes to use as a example of how they should all be is like "Don't lump me in with your shit."

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Her mudblood must have gotten into her skin when she got older.

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I remember there being lots of shitty memes and translator not knowing the their/they're/there, you/you're/your.

Not like jrpgs stories matter.

wow you are so original

Sorry, not everyone's an autistic permavirgin like you

There were no memes in Trails in the Sky. You obviously didn't play it. XSeed did a very good job.

I'd play the shit game again to prove you wrong, but you're not worth it.

reminder that 3>1>5>4>2>7>8>6

reminder that 3>1>7>5>4>2>8>6

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What?

I guess you are right
got any link? My autism want to check them out and see if random plots of books/films actually fits

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Shit > 3>1>7>5>4>2>8>6
ftfy

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6 was shit

I liked it because it was a relatively normal school year after all the weird shit in 4 and 5, but still had major plot developments with Snape and the Horcruxes

MY MY WHAT AN INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT

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So they just ripped off City on the Edge of Forever?

I hope Harlan Ellison is roused from near-death to start calling people cunts.

who?

He's an writer. He wrote multiple science fiction stories, and James Cameron ripped him off to create Terminator.

He wrote a Star Trek episode where the crew inadvertently travels back in time and saves a woman's life in the 1930s. The woman changes history so that Hitler wins world war II, so Kirk and Spock travel back to make sure she dies.

that's stupid. they change history for the better, but then go and change it back to worse

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6 was an alright adaptation, despite the fact that they destroyed the burrow for no reason and only had like 2 flashbacks, but it had a great opportunity at being an awesome flick and majestically failed at that

That's not what happened in Ellison's script

oh, you meant films

I was talking about the books

oh, my bad, i should have clarified, though i thought the 8 made it obvious ha.

as far as rating the books, half-blood prince is my personal favorite, but i think prisoner or goblet is the objectively best one, with hbp right behind it. the rest don't really matter.

I thought so too, since what is technically book 8 just came out

I think one of the most puke-worthy parts was Scorpius having a crush Niggermione's nigglet offspring.

It doesn't sound as bad on paper, but in the play where you've got the normally white, British-looking guy lusting after an inbred chimp, it's laughable.

They couldn't even get a good-looking negress with more pleasant facial features and figure, they had to get the downright ugliest one on the block.

And I still don't get how Voldemort's daughter has silver white hair, considering both Voldemort and Bellatrix have black hair, and white isn't even technically a real human hair color, outside of deformations like albinos.

It's like Rowling just picked off a list of fanfiction cliches, and shoved them into the book.


Prisoner of Azkaban is more consistent, but Goblet of Fire was the only one that managed to dabble in YA themes without losing the sense of wonder and adventure that plagued books 5, 6 and 7.


What happened in Ellison's script?

*having a crush on

user is being slightly autistic. In the original script it's never said why Edith Keiler living caused history to change. Other Star Trek writers added in the references to Hitler and Keiler's pacifism allowing his victory. Ellison disliked it because he was a peacenik, and preferred the reason she had to die being vague.

His original draft also had a drug dealer on the enterprise who escaped into the past and inadvertently saved Keiler's life. Roddenberry didn't want any negative shit in star fleet so they changed it to a drugged and crazed Dr. McCoy.

Ellison actually wrote a book about it, where like most things he thinks everyone is an asshole.

Well, said book was actually just the screenplay, with like a hundred page introduction.

And he didn't think everyone was an asshole. He liked Leonard Nimoy, he liked Walter Keonig and he liked DC Fontana even after she revealed that she re-wrote his script. And he never stops pointing this out.

Looking for lore in the Harry Potter series seems to be futile, since Rowling has done hardly anything to build upon it.

If the white hair is recessive it's unlikely, but not at all impossible. Bellatrix' sister is Draco's mother so it runs in her family.

T-tell me user

This is almost a decade old you dumb nigger.

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Why do shitty fantasy writers always list utter fucking nonsense? Do they really think it counts as quality world building to just say random words?

Throwing random shit at the wall and then maybe referencing it later is high end world building.

You're really upset, aren't ya, m80?

Valar Morghulis user.

>>>/got/

It's just some candy, man.

It adds absolutely nothing of value though, it's just a really cheap way of padding out the universe. It's the same as in the films where there's a whole scene in a Weasley shop: its basically thirty seconds plot padded with four minutes of excess CGI, shitty props, and people stringing nonsense words together.

Rather than making the world feel realistic through complicated means or interesting things, it's all "ordinary but slightly different" (e.g. chess but the pieces smash each other up therefore Wizard Chess) or total gibberish. You'd be hard pressed to find well written fantasy where characters stop to talk about Gurgling Whizbangs or Frump Eggs or Clicking Whimsies or whatever the fuck because it's piss poor writing.

Gurgling Whizbang would be a good name for a porn star

Source?

Reverse Image search is showing nothing

g.e-hentai.org/g/960469/2b071c34c7/

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You act like this is news

Did he fuck it?

it fucked him

you ought to give that porn fanfic a read then

Voldemort did nothing wrong.

GAS THE MUGGLES
WIZARD WAR NOW

That's why i said homosexual cliche, the books talk about the quirky patterns Dumbledore liked. Also Dumbledore liked to knit, a traditionally feminine task.

he also liked luring 11-year-old boys into his office

Ron broke them all in book 5.

1>2>3>6>5>7>8>4

Do you have a example of good fantasy then?

All of these present much better world building than anything Rowling ever spat on paper.

Are they saying that Hermione is a changling thing like Lupin's wife or do they just not give a fuck?

Is that a title for a actual book?

10/10