Be me

it isn't fucking political. it isn't about theory. please just tell me some other people are out there like me. please.

Holy shit user you're just turning 19 and you've lived more of a life than I have. Stop depressing me

most people will say you're just being a crybaby but you're 19
yeah it's like that for a lot of us and consumerism has pretty badly wounded my relationship with my family
a lot of us would kill to be working for our dad and studying music, but if that's not making you happy, you need something to put yourself into like making music
that all being said I would fucking kill to live in san francisco hipsters and california bullshit and all
fuck it's such a big city there's somewhere interesting/different that you can find it's fucking enormous go exploring
fuck man don't complain about living in frisco you could be in the same exact situation but in a flyover state man if you were there you would have already shot yourself and it's deathly cold half the year and even the hipsters are worse because they're secondhand ones trying to look like people on the coast
fuck man

Look on the bright side, user: You're gonna get a nuke dropped on you pretty soon

jesus christ fuck off with your petty "problems" you fucking first worldist. go to r9k or something with that shit

OP here. I love you.

I went to Nebraska and I fell in love with it. Omaha was amazing. Old Market was beautiful and everyone seemed nicer. I heard there a nice leftist scene over the UNO aswell.

The Bay is cold man. there's no emotion here. there's no connection with anyone. I don't like it. maybe that's just the caveman in me though.

it's for some people but it's not for me.

jokes on you. I'm poor as fuck asshole.

I have to live under my dad's roof and can't even afford my own place with the money I make. fuck you.

Do you empathize, sympathize or not at all, OP?

OP here.

I cant even comprehend your struggle… I fucking hate the coasts man. Nothing but overly condensed shit holes.

The financial burden you have is way more than me and all I can say is good luck comrade.

I know a lot of anons here aren't religious but just know I'm sending some prayers your way.

sounds like the way your girl left is the same with mine. I was a fuck up and I got too emotional one day and she ended it. I regret it every day and it keeps me up at night.

well don't get me wrong there's a lot of physical beauty in flyover states like the one I live in but you can't go camping every day
living in the suburbs is the same as purgatory and it often feels like there's no way out. if you feel trapped in frisco then you'd feel worse than dead in a quintessential suburb
and you know if you're not happy with frisco that's ok, you gotta live your life but you can't know a city well at 19 years old, you just gotta dig. california can be a weird fucking place you don't have to dig nearly as deep to find something there was you would in ohio
and I don't know if you were just talking about the culture when you say the bay is cold but if you were being literal CALIFORNIANS DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD COLD, there's a lot to love about winter but in a practical sense there's a reason everyone gets depressed here that time of year. they get depressed and say that if you gotta get out you don't wanna live like that you're just fucking weak and it doesn't matter if it's so cold it kills your piece of shit car, you gotta commute an hour and a half on the freeway through a blizzard at 6AM and be grateful for the ugly-ass infrastructure that is totally omnipresent in your life
you have every right to be sad or depressed, just don't waste your surroundings because you think the grass is greener on the other side

well don't get me wrong there's a lot of physical beauty in flyover states like the one I live in but you can't go camping every day
living in the suburbs is the same as purgatory and it often feels like there's no way out. if you feel trapped in frisco then you'd feel worse than dead in a quintessential suburb
and you know if you're not happy with frisco that's ok, you gotta live your life but you can't know a city well at 19 years old, you just gotta dig. california can be a weird fucking place you don't have to dig nearly as deep to find something there was you would in ohio
and I don't know if you were just talking about the culture when you say the bay is cold but if you were being literal CALIFORNIANS DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD COLD, there's a lot to love about winter but in a practical sense there's a reason everyone gets depressed here that time of year. they get depressed and say that if you gotta get out you don't wanna live like that you're just fucking weak and it doesn't matter if it's so cold it kills your piece of shit car, you gotta commute an hour and a half on the freeway through a blizzard at 6AM and be grateful for the ugly-ass infrastructure that is totally omnipresent in your life
you have every right to be sad or depressed, just don't waste your surroundings because you think the grass is greener on the other side

so how is this not first-worldism?

Democratic
Republican
Conservative
Green
Working Families
Independence
Women's Equality
Reform

It sounds like you don't really have to worry about organization for a while if you're just starting out. Couldn't you get a room at a/the library? Pick a date, put out some feelers, if you really can't afford to advertise at all then make a couple posts on craigslist and r/nyc and see what happens.


The feeliest feels are the feels we share.

well don't get me wrong there's a lot of physical beauty in flyover states like the one I live in but you can't go camping every day
living in the suburbs is the same as purgatory and it often feels like there's no way out. if you feel trapped in frisco then you'd feel worse than dead in a quintessential suburb
and you know if you're not happy with frisco that's ok, you gotta live your life but you can't know a city well at 19 years old, you just gotta dig. california can be a weird fucking place you don't have to dig nearly as deep to find something there was you would in ohio
and I don't know if you were just talking about the culture when you say the bay is cold but if you were being literal CALIFORNIANS DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD COLD, there's a lot to love about winter but in a practical sense there's a reason everyone gets depressed here that time of year. they get depressed and say that if you gotta get out you don't wanna live like that you're just fucking weak and it doesn't matter if it's so cold it kills your piece of shit car, you gotta commute an hour and a half on the freeway through a blizzard at 6AM and be grateful for the ugly-ass infrastructure that is totally omnipresent in your life
you have every right to be sad or depressed, just don't waste your surroundings because you think the grass is greener on the other side
I wish you the best man and don't misinterpret this for bootstraps shit or just me arguing that my life is harder than yours in a pissing contest, but any city like that has something in it you gotta go out and explore and find something
I was like you don't make the mistake I did, I felt the same way when I was 19 now years have gone by and I wish I'd gone exploring every fucking day man

are you fucking retarded? who gives a shit about my music? if anything it's fucking daddy issues.

dont be sad user, everyones life is different and you cant live comparing yourself to others.

Op I went to live with my dad and he figured I would be some 6 figure making tycoon and after I bombed that and worked warehouse work I wasn't good enough for him.

Double points when I find out years later he took out pay day loans and electric credit in my name while I was in college.

Haven't spoken to him in 10 years and if I see him again I will kill him.

Go post in another pol troll thread faggot.

It could be worse, you could of ended up a faggot like Randy Stair, but instead your out in the world trying to make a life for yourself.

Close, it was my uncaring behavior and how I would leave my job without another job lined up. I make a lot of poor decisions but I make it through someway somehow, but she didn't want to deal with someone that wasn't structured like her. I miss her everyday too.


Working Families sound more to my liking, just from reading their about us.

That’s where you made your mistake.

I prefer Green.

Not gonna lie OP, your life story sounds pretty interesting. I wish you could write a follow-up green-text of more about your life. Not joking here. Saying this because I used to hang out at 4/adv/ but most of these people's stories are pretty normie and boring, the same old "hurr I'm lazy and NEET and afraid of everything, gib me gf nao" shit.

My personal opinion is that it's entirely possible to deal with working, no matter if good or shitty, and deal with boring people around you or little day-to-day annoying shit like figuring out if you can cross the street when the incoming car is speeding so you have to wait. All of this is possible when you have a good relationship with some girl. I remember there has been only very short periods of time with few gf's (like few week/month periods) that have been only times in my entire life where I've not felt depressed or anxious. And good girls seems to come along very random, none of my relationships started from dating sites but someone met from real life.

Sometimes it really seems that my minor alcoholism is the only way to cope until I get a new job (looking for one currently) and start a life in a biger city from blank page to get out of this rural town I'm at currently, but until that, alcoholism at least provides me with some relief.

Is your father jealous about your girlfriend? There is theory in play here, just it's not Marxist theory. Try conflict resolution theory. There are slick ways to get others to feel powerful and thus confide in you.

anyone else with mental health issues?

i was diagnosed with 'depressive with psychotic features' which doctor says could be a schizoaffective diagnosis if i wasn't a teenager when i first came in. i just do nothing all day for the last few years. the only thing grounding me to reality for the last few years is philosophy. i really want to be taking very important early steps towards living a properly academic and philosophical life, making connections, publishing undergrad paper, getting recommendations for grad school, though none of that is gonna happen if i don't even have the bravery or discipline to leave my house. i'm much more content with just feeling shitty over how useless i am for not achieving goals and going further into depression and psychosis instead of actually trying to do something to better myself. i haven't slept in 3 days.

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Stay strong user. As long as have some passion about learning to make movies or write them, it's not all gone for you. In my eastern european country, there is an old saying "make an effort to work hard, then soon love comes along" (meaning a person, not love for work).

For now make small promises to yourself like not snacking between meals (eat snacks as a dessert with your meal) and not eating at night to make sure that your digestion is regular.
Stop making promises to anyone else in the meantime. You can't give what you don't have.

It's not your fault

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San Fran area is WAY to fucking expensive. I was looking for jobs out there, fuck that


Uh shits been ok but I've lived a rough life, always held myself to ridiculously high standards, feel into a spiral of depression which led to rampant drug use and heroin addiction. Got to a point where I was shooting speedballs recklessly not giving a fuck about my life. Got my shit together tho years ago, but discovering leftism didn't help my depression. It's like I always knew something was wrong with the world but didn't fully understand the source or terminology for it

So what's Holla Forums been reading lately? Any Marxian essays you'd recommend?

Wow so much experience.

I've been reading Jacobin's new journal "Catalyst". Really good.

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already an /alienated/ thread