HOW THE FUCK DO I GET A JOB IN THIS SHITTY ECONOMY WHERE IT'S A BUYER'S MARKET AND NO ONE EVEN RESPONDS TO MY...

HOW THE FUCK DO I GET A JOB IN THIS SHITTY ECONOMY WHERE IT'S A BUYER'S MARKET AND NO ONE EVEN RESPONDS TO MY APPLICATIONS THAT I'M FORCED TO FILL OUT CONSTANTLY WITH THE SAME EXACT INFORMATION AND THEN DO A SHITTY, IDIOTIC PERSONALITY QUIZ LIKE IT'S FUCKING FACEBOOK?

Lie.

I DID AND IT STILL DOES FUCK ALL

Have you tried the online gig economy?

Get some knee pads fam

it's never gonna work, they literally pick resumes at random. you gotta befriend someone who's already inside or who knows someone who knows someone. and even then it's not guaranteed that you'll work, i've been doing that for years and most people just say yes because they don't wanna say no.

used to be you had to do this for fancy jobs, now you have to do it even for toilet cleaning.

the other day i went to a job agency for a tip i got from someone, and the lady wouldn't get my resume because i don't have [insert bullshit prerequisite]. i told her someone already working there told me to apply and she took it. didn't even ask the name.

last time i went to a job agency they sold my information (legitimately did not start receiving spam mail until then) and then got mad when i called them about posted jobs and told me to wait for them to call me

it was the only one in town and someone recommended me to it and said they only hire from there

yes they probably made you sign something with three checks or something. one of the checks is to authorize them to send you spam mail.

Lie about your experience. Put that you worked for some company for like 5 years that is related to the field (but isn't the exact same position so they still need to train you). Put down the phone reference number as your friend's of sibling's and get them to pretend to be your supervisor.

Worked for me. If you want to know more specifics just ask

Lie. I've lied about a degree, experience, skills, etc.

i've already done that. my friend and i have an entire fake company made up and ready to be deployed at any time it's necessary. i use it for everything i apply to and have been since i started applying after leaving my last job. it's been a "six year" endeavor, so it's not like i'm not "experienced" or anything.

Apparently go to California, some user here did that and got offerred 3 jobs in a week. Alternatively lie like other anons have reccomended.

do you live in somalia or some shit?

no. usa. if i lived in somalia i'd just join a pirate crew.

why do you want a job?

i lived in california for 21 and a half years and did not get offered one job

where in usa? the deepest slums of orange county?

i need fiat currency in this capitalist country

nc

Well maybe if you lazy fucks ever decided to improve your skillsets you could have found a better job.

Maybe you should have thought about that before you became a worthless fucking commie

bit rude

yea, fucking pinko!

just don't let Kramer answer the phone this time

Learn what they're looking for, and lie. Present them with that image. It's not even an actionable lie, like lying about objective, verifiable things like past experience. Personality horoscopes are nonsense pseudoscience, and they know that, deep down, even if HR otherwise jacks off to that kinda nonsense, so if you "seem" different in person than your results indicate it's no skin off your nose.


Bad idea. They can find out, even if you give them your friend's number.

worst that can happen is that fire you so you or you don't get the job so you have nothing to lose.

Got my current job of 5 years through lying about management experience.